Guinea Pig

by Curtis, Greg

  “And that was what you did so brilliantly!” She laughed a little more, and he suspected she was enjoying his confusion. He took another bite of the lemon as he tried to make sense of her words, and eventually she relented.

  “Humans – why so literal? The choice wasn't what to do. It wasn't like picking something from a menu. Your choice was who you are. And who you are is someone who does as he was created to do.”

  “But I chose to save my family.”

  “Exactly! You chose to be the man for whom nothing was more important than love. You were true to yourself. True to the Father's vision for you. There was never a flicker of doubt. The Fallen tried to steer you aside. Tempting you with dreams of glory, ambition. You didn't see those dreams. They tried to make you doubt in your family's love. But your faith in them held firm. They tried frightening you. Tried to make you angry, to slip into an uncontrollable rage in which you would murder. They failed again.”

  “All the way along it's been the same. You love and you protect those you love. You protect those you like, those you barely know and even those who have done you wrong. You are as you were created to be. And when you had the chance to see another path you didn't take it.”

  “What other path?”

  “You could have chosen violence. To strike back in fury at those who hurt you. Who threatened your loved ones. You could have folded and given in to despair. You could have run away. Instead you simply defended them as best you could.”

  “But I couldn't do that!”

  “Precisely! There was never a thought of anger or hatred. Only the need to protect your loved ones.”

  She announced it as though it was proof of something. But it wasn't proof of anything as far as he could see. Was it? Or was it the old tale of the scorpion and the frog being played out in some bizarre way? Elia must have seen the confusion on his face.

  “Do you know how I first knew that you had to be saved?”

  Will shook his head.

  “It was when we were running out of this place as it was collapsing. We were flung together and you tried to save me. You were scared, running and panicking. You didn't know me. But without a thought you tried to save me. Others would have let fear control them. They wouldn't have grabbed me. They might not even have thought of me. But you saw me in your fear, and you acted. Your instincts betrayed you from the beginning.”

  Will wanted to say something. He felt uncomfortable being spoken about as though he was something more than he was. But he knew Elia would hear none of it. So he asked something else. “And the Fallen?”

  “Fuming. Persial's upset of course. But he can use the grief. He's always been too proud of his words and not proud enough of the truth. He thought he was winning as you fought. He thought you had chosen the path of anger and violence. That you had given in to the sweetness of rage. But he was wrong. There was not rage, only desperation. You protected your loved ones and nothing more.”

  “Now he's busy making up excuses for why you chose as you did. He's blaming us by the way. Telling everyone that we contaminated you. Fed you lies. That it wasn't a fair test. And he says that because you're not of our people it doesn't mean anything. That you are too different.”

  “Still, he lost and deep down inside he knows it. So does everyone who witnessed your choice. Some of the disobedient have reconsidered their place and no longer disobey. They have become Walkers. Obedient but not without questions. After all you are an innocent, a good man well raised. Your instincts betray you. They will always betray you. So in you they see that total and absolute freedom is not acceptable. That the rules and restrictions they believe bind and enslave are not rules and restrictions at all. They are simply a part of what it is to be human for want of a better word.”

  “And some of the Walkers have chosen to obey without question and joined the Choir. Because in your choice they have seen the Father's will and have lost their last questions. Baby steps in a marathon, but you have played your part well.”

  “You could have told me that.”

  Will wasn't sure if he was upset. He was sure that he should be however. He had been deceived, injured, frightened and ultimately almost killed. Maybe he actually had been killed. But for some reason the anger just wasn't there. Only relief.

  “No I couldn't. I didn't know most of it, and what I did know I wasn't permitted to speak of.”

  “You weren't permitted?” Something about that struck Will as wrong. She was a Walker not one of the Choir. She could disobey if she chose.

  “I still have my freedom and I may not be able to give myself completely over to the Father's will without question, but I do not choose to disobey. I was asked not to tell you as were the others and I chose to do as I was asked to do.”

  Suddenly Will understood her in a way he would never have expected. He understood what made her a Walker. It was doubt. She obeyed but she could not get past her doubt, and undoubtedly she wished that she could. But it was a big leap to make. The Fallen though were something else. It wasn't doubt that made them disobey. It was pride. They believed they knew better. And everything that had happened had done one thing above all else – it had damaged their pride. But that went nowhere to explaining what had happened to him. And for the moment that was what mattered.

  “All right let's get back to the reading.” Will was determined to at least understand something of what had happened to him before he went completely mad. “I couldn't read. I couldn't even speak. My mind was going. My brain was turning to soup from the changes. But now I can read? How?”

  “You really have a thing about that, don't you?” Elia stared at him, seemingly studying him as if worried. But eventually she relented. A little. “Who said you couldn't read?”

  “I did! I couldn't read! I was there.”

  “Ah but was it that you couldn't read? Or just that you thought you couldn't read?” Suddenly she was laughing again and he realised he wasn't going to get anything more from her on that. She'd said what she was going to and that was it. Even if it didn't make sense. She realised that too though.

  “You might be a little slow though!” Will groaned while her laughter grew.

  “Now finish that off and we'll go back inside and wait for the doctor to call.”

  Will did as he was told since she didn't seem to be in the mood to tolerate anything else. In fact she seemed to be getting quite bossy he thought. But then something else occurred to him.

  “The injection – I mean I know it's not going to upset the Fallen any more, obviously, but what will it do to me this time?”

  “Do to you? - This time?” She stared at him as if he'd said something stupid. Again. “What makes you think it could ever do anything to you?”

  “But the DNA? The angel genes?”

  “Really? what makes you think that we angels have DNA? Or that some silly doctor sitting in a lab could actually harvest it or stick it in a test tube if we did?” She looked down on him with what he could only assume was pity while he tried not to fall down in shock. It was a long time before he could think of something to say, and then it wasn't much.

  “But -.”

  “William, the doctor did nothing to you. He could do nothing to you. And nothing was done to you by anyone else. Everything that happened was simply a natural process. All that's happened is that you have grown up a little bit. Learned to go from crawling to toddling. Learned to flap your wings. And that's just a part of life. It was always going to happen.”

  “All right, I suppose I shouldn't be too hard on you for that.” Elia's expression suddenly softened a little. “After all we didn't know either. We never thought that the doctor could do such a thing, but when it seemed to happen even we were fooled into thinking he somehow had. It was like being fooled by a stage magician. You know it couldn't happen, but you still can't see how it was done and a part of you wonders. But that was as it was meant to be. Everything was.”

  “Think of the Father as a sort of director in a mysterious play.
A play where he's provided the perfect script and the perfect set design and everything else. But the actors are an uppity lot, and they mess up their lines and damage the stage. We call that free will. They also don't see the entire script, only their little part in it. That's why the play is mysterious.”

  “Now occasionally as in any play there are key events. Things that have to happen because without them the play doesn't work. Your learning to crawl and taking your first steps on the road was one such event. It always had to happen. Humans are growing up.”

  “Everything else has just been window dressing and a few of the actors getting in a snit. The doctor's mad experiment, simply the outcome of grief that he could not deal with. It was allowed because it allowed Reginald to get past his crippling pain and become once more the doctor he was created to be. He doesn't remember it but still a part of that journey lives within him. When he tries again a little of that journey will return to him.”

  “And the devastation caused by my brothers and sisters was permitted because it would be fixed and they too had to learn. Even if they don't like the lesson. And everyone else who was swept up in the ride, those who lived or died, those who did good or evil, has been restored to where they were. The same but perhaps a tiny bit wiser.”

  “Bishop Benenson has learned a little more of the meaning of his holy books. He understands their lessons just a tiny bit better than he did before. Elijah has had his faith rewarded and he will know with a little more certainty that what he does in the name of the Father is right. The same is true of the others. Even those who weren't directly involved.”

  “Parents remembering just a trace of the fear of loss will perhaps hug their children a little tighter. Those who did bad things will have that knowledge if not the memory within them. Perhaps they will think more carefully before doing something similar. Those who discovered faith or learned the lessons of goodness, will have that knowledge within them as well. It will bring them comfort and strength for the days ahead even though they don't remember when they learned that lesson.”

  “What happened happened because it was meant to, and everyone played their part. It's all part of the plan.”

  “That God moves in mysterious ways plan?”

  “That's the one.” She laughed merrily at him. “But sometimes not so mysterious. Your people are growing up. Taking the next step in their development. It always had to happen. You are just the first. But others will join you in time.”

  “Now hurry along child. The sooner we can get through this the sooner we can carry on with the rest of our day. And we have a busy one.”

  “Busy?”

  Will's mind wasn't really keeping up any more. He was just reacting to a few key words as he desperately tried to make sense of what she'd told him. That after all that, the doctor had tried to turn him into an angel and apparently had failed. So someone else had done it instead. Or apparently he had. Or maybe it was just some form of evolution. Why? Why couldn't he have simply stayed as he was? But looking at Elia he knew he wasn't going to get a sensible answer. He wasn't sure there was one. Not one that would make sense to him anyway. And she was having too much fun to give him it if there was one.

  “Of course. After the doctor's finished with his silliness we can go up to the roof and start teaching you to use these.” She slapped her hand on his wings once more and he jumped. But he got the message. Then he panicked a little. The roof didn't sound good. Those were two very tall stories and it was a long way down. Maybe they could try it on the ground first. If they really had to.

  “Ahh … it's been a long day. Maybe we could leave that for a bit. Until I've had a chance to get used to them.”

  “Nonsense William. You'll do fine. The wings are fully developed, you've done your exercises and they look strong. And the instincts will all kick in as they're meant to.”

  “But I'm not ready.”

  “That's what every fledgeling thinks. But they always are. You are too. You'll understand that after I've thrown you off the roof!” Then she cocked her head to one side and stared thoughtfully at him as if reconsidering her words.

  “Well … the second time anyway!”