Vengeance From The Dark (D'Vaire Book 3)

by Jessamyn Kingley

  “Obsessions are unwanted thoughts. I wasn’t obsessed with your death; I welcomed its planning. Compulsions are behaviors to rid oneself of obsessions or to relieve anxiety. I wasn’t obsessed and I was not suffering from anxiety.”

  “You looked that up, didn’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  Talfryn grinned. “Why?”

  “Dra’Kaedan said I must have OCD. I borrowed the tablet they bought for Corwin and deciphered what he meant. Then I informed him why he was wrong.”

  “I’m sorry I missed that conversation.”

  “I made sure you were out of earshot before beginning it.”

  “Didn’t want me chiming in?”

  “You would not have aided my cause.”

  “Yeah, probably not. So you don’t think you have OCD. You still haven’t answered my questions.”

  “I cannot tell you how I’m doing as I am unsure myself.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “My thoughts are very confusing. I don’t know what to make of them. The one thing I do know is that nothing will bring the past back.”

  The pain in Talfryn’s eyes was unmistakable. “You mean there is no longer an us?”

  “We will never be who we once were.”

  “I still love you.”

  “You love who I was, Talfryn. I am no longer the same man.”

  Talfryn’s eyes began to grow misty. “You are still my mate.”

  “It’s true. It’s a fact I cannot change.”

  “But you would if you could. Is that it?”

  “It would be easier for both of us if I could undo it.”

  Lorcan watched with some surprise as his mate leaped to his feet. “I guess you could always find a warlock willing to blind you so you could pretend it never happened. It worked for my parents,” Talfryn said before walking away.

  Lorcan watched him leave the room and yanked back a scream when Corwin all but yelled in his ear. “What did you say to him?”

  “How the hell did you get across the room so fast?” Lorcan countered before rising from the couch.

  “He’s your mate, you might try being nice to him.”

  “Our relationship is much more complicated than that.”

  “No, it’s not. You belong to each other for eternity. Either you want to be miserable or you don’t. It’s that simple. Hasn’t he been punished enough?” Corwin asked before he too thundered out of the room. Lorcan straightened his shoulders and calmly followed in their wake. It seemed he still had a lot of thinking to do and ultimately a decision to make. There was a good chance that in the end, it was as simple as Corwin made it. One thing was for certain, life had sucked without Talfryn.

  Chapter 32

  Talfryn threw himself down onto the mattress and tried to ignore the heat in his cheeks. He was already embarrassed by his mad dash out of the living room. Apparently, he was turning into a drama queen, he thought in disgust as he rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. He was supposed to be the one that was undeterred by the rift in his relationship. The one who stayed optimistic despite the nearly insurmountable obstacles that Lorcan and the rest of the world had thrown into the path of his once-loving relationship.

  Running from the room in a huff of outrage was not in the plan no matter how hurtful or frustrating it was to listen to Lorcan basically tell him that what they once had was lost forever. It was up to him to show him otherwise, and he couldn’t do that from the sanctity of his pretty lavender bedroom. That temporarily distracted him. He looked around his space and decided it was entirely too lavender. The decor begged for black. Talfryn would have to talk to Larissa about seeing that done.

  Blowing out a breath, he set aside his design problems and focused on the most important thing in his life and that was correcting Lorcan’s misconceptions about their bond. No matter what outrageous crap came out of his mate’s mouth, Talfryn was not going to allow himself to be dissuaded from loving the idiot. It was true; he didn’t understand Lorcan’s state of mind but he was going to make sure that someday he did. Once they’d been closer than two people could be. Talfryn squeezed his eyes shut and vowed anew they would be again.

  It wasn’t necessary to come up with any complicated plan for making that happen. All he had to do was spend as much time in Lorcan’s company as he could. They’d fallen in love once and they could damn well do it a second time if that was what it took. Opening his eyes again, he propped himself up on his elbows and gave himself a mental smack in the head. Determination was his only chance at surviving with his heart intact. Talfryn lifted his body off the bed and strode out of his room. It was time for dinner and another round of verbal dodgeball with Lorcan.

  Stretching his legs to the very limit, he made it to the kitchen in a matter of seconds. Thanking Noirin, he graciously accepted his plate and forcefully dropped his body into the chair next to Lorcan. His mate gave him a sideways glance of surprise. It was about time he learned that Talfryn was not an elf to be trifled with.

  “Lorcan,” he said.

  “Talfryn.”

  “How’s your dinner?” Okay, he thought, he wasn’t exactly giving Lorcan a piece of his mind, but manners were a necessity as far as Talfryn was concerned.

  “I am enjoying it.”

  “I’m glad to hear it,” Talfryn said before biting into a crisp stalk of celery.

  “You okay, Talfryn?” Corwin asked from across the table.

  “Yes, why?”

  “I don’t know, you seem…”

  “Combative.” Cadlyr finished.

  “I’m fine,” Talfryn bit out before turning back to Lorcan. “You’re my mate. You are stuck with me. I expect you to spend time with me.”

  “I spend time with you.”

  “No, you spend time with me in the company of others. We need time alone as well.”

  “I have a great deal of thinking to do. Perhaps when I—”

  “Nope, no more excuses. You have things to work out. We can work them out together. That’s what mates do,” Talfryn finished for him. He watched Lorcan’s mouth flatten out into a thin line.

  “A matebond is two people. Two people agreeing. Not one person dictating to the other.”

  Talfryn smiled without humor. “I’m so glad you said that because you’ve done a great deal of the decision making. You say I don’t know you, but I can’t learn anything if we don’t build some bridges. After dinner, we’ll take a walk outside and then we can decide together how we’ll spend the rest of our evening.”

  “You’re hardly in a pleasant mood. Why would I want to take a walk with you?”

  “You haven’t been pleasant since you arrived here.”

  “Are you referring to being dragged here against my will and then trapped by a giant bubble that zaps me with electricity should I try to leave?” Lorcan asked.

  “Is that what that glow is outside? A bubble to keep everyone in?” Corwin asked.

  “Not everyone. It was designed for Lorcan so I suppose it would trap you as well, but the rest of us can come and go,” Talfryn said.

  Corwin cocked his head to the side. “What about the other way? Does it block people from getting in?”

  “Anyone who isn’t a D’Vaire, yes.”

  “That’s a relief. Now I don’t have to worry about anyone killing me or Lorcan for being demonic,” Corwin replied, pleased.

  “On the contrary, you’re the last known people with demonic blood and our Council thought demons were more fables than anything else. I doubt you will have to worry about too many people wishing to hurt you,” Dra’Kaedan said from the next table. “And a walk sounds great; the garden is beautiful in the evening.”

  “Thanks so much for your opinion, Grand Warlock,” Lorcan deadpanned.

  “Anytime, Chieftain,” Dra’Kaedan replied.

  “So, you’ll walk with me?” Talfryn asked.

  “Now you’re offering me the choice?”

  “Not really, but I’ve always been a stickler for
etiquette, so I thought I’d ask.”

  “Finish your meal so we can get this evening over with.”

  “Watch out Lorcan, your enthusiasm might be contagious.”

  “Eat.” Talfryn wisely refrained from saying anything else after Lorcan issued his order. He knew he was pushing him pretty far and he didn’t want to upset him further, so he ate. He allowed Corwin and the rest of the family to fill in the conversation gap while he chewed. Lorcan did the same, and it wasn’t long before both of their plates were empty. Talfryn carried both plates to the dishwasher and waited for Lorcan to meet him at the back door.

  Without argument, Lorcan allowed himself to be led outside and Talfryn followed him across the deck. Once they were clear of the wooden steps, he fell into step beside him.

  “I’m sorry for running out of the living room. Your words hurt but—”

  “You needn’t apologize. It’s not like you create unnecessary drama. I understand my words wounded you. It was my intention to try to explain my thoughts, but I know it cannot be easy to hear.”

  “No, it’s not. Whether you believe it or not, I do love you. I don’t know all that you have suffered since I was abducted, but I know the core of you. I can’t believe your soul has changed so much that I would no longer recognize it.”

  “I fear I am not the man I once was. I’m not worthy of the love you gave me.”

  Talfryn closed his eyes briefly. “At least you now believe I did love you.”

  “I want to believe it. I don’t know what to make of the past. I’m not sure I can ever reconcile it completely.”

  “I do understand, you know? Nyley and Heriell were your closest friends. If I didn’t betray you, then it was them. Either way it cuts to the bone, right?”

  “Exactly, I lose either way. And no matter what the truth is, I was wrong to do what I did. I compounded it by starting a war.”

  “Does it help to know that if you had been the one to be kidnapped, I would have done the same thing?”

  “You were never as bloodthirsty as I was.”

  “Perhaps not, but it’s easier to be angry than to focus on the heartbreak. That’s where the guilt comes from, right? That you avoided dealing with the loss by channeling all your emotions into rage and hate?”

  Lorcan stopped dead in his tracks and met Talfryn’s eyes. “How do you do that?”

  “Do what?”

  “You have just taken the very thoughts from my head.”

  Giving in to an impulse Talfryn put his hand into Lorcan’s. Instinctively it seemed, Lorcan grasped his palm and gave it a squeeze. “It’s not magic, anleydir. I simply try to put myself in your shoes. I can only hope I come close to understanding, but I try to imagine how it would make me feel and how I would react.”

  The pair began walking again, this time hand in hand. “I forgot that about you. I forgot what a big heart you’ve always had. How could I do that?”

  “Maybe you should. Maybe we should both forget what it was like and pretend none of it ever happened. The past doesn’t matter any more than we let it, so what do you think? Should we start over? Fresh slate? Two elves meeting each other for the first time and discovering they are mates.”

  Talfryn held his breath and enjoyed the feel of Lorcan’s palm against his while he waited for his mate to respond. He was straining for air before Lorcan replied. “I think I would like that.”

  Pulling his hand free, Talfryn then placed it in front of Lorcan to shake. “Greetings. I am Talfryn of the Cwylld. Brother of the Chieftain.”

  “Greetings Talfryn. I am Lorcan, Chieftain of the Acwellan.”

  After they shook hands, Talfryn snatched up Lorcan’s hand so they could resume their walk. “It is nice to meet you. I have been honored by Fate to have such a handsome mate who is chieftain of his tribe.”

  “I believe you to be the most handsome man I have ever seen.”

  Talfryn smiled and had to blink back tears. He’d hoped to make some progress this evening but he had no idea that an otherwise short walk in their backyard would have so much impact on their future. “Thank you.”

  There was silence for several minutes and then Lorcan tugged on his hand to get his attention. “You do realize if this was a traditional elven relationship we would be mated and in bed in less than forty-eight hours? Seventy-two at the most?”

  Grinning, Talfryn leaned forward impulsively and kissed Lorcan’s cheek. “I like the part about getting into bed.”

  “I feel it important to not rush into anything.”

  “Tomorrow, then?”

  “We can discuss it.”

  “That seems fair, but you can’t keep me from hoping for a good-night kiss.”

  Lorcan nodded. “A kiss seems a necessary part of our courtship.”

  “Elven tradition and all that.”

  “Indeed.” They fell into step once again before Lorcan spoke. “Speaking of tradition, your hair is not fit for a chieftain’s mate.”

  “Neither is yours.”

  “Mine must grow before it can be braided and beaded. Yours has no impediment.”

  “At least let Larissa use her scissors to even yours out.”

  “I will allow her to fix it if she can.”

  “Let’s give ourselves a couple of days to work on us before we take a few hours decorating my hair.”

  “I will agree to that.”

  “Chieftain of the Acwellan, I must tell you I am quite happy with Fate’s choice for me.”

  “And I am looking more and more forward to the pleasures we will find in the bedroom.”

  Talfryn leaned his head back and laughed in earnest. “It may be another thousand years before we see our brothers again after we get in bed together.”

  “Good thing they are immortal.”

  * * *

  Later that night, Talfryn was pressed against the door to his bedroom while Lorcan ravaged his mouth. It had started simply and that was where Lorcan would have probably liked to finish, but Talfryn was having none of it. He’d slid his eager tongue between Lorcan’s lips and while his mate could have stopped the kiss at any time, he’d readily returned it. For several minutes now, they’d been making out in earnest. Talfryn’s penis had immediately taken notice of their affectionate embrace and was now straining the front of his loose cotton slacks.

  It did not escape his attention that Lorcan’s dick was just as hard. It was difficult to not slide his body an inch or two to the left so their cocks would rub against each other, but he didn’t want to spook the other elf. It’d been a lovely evening, and he’d content himself with sharing as many caresses as Lorcan was willing to give. He sucked in a breath through his nose as Lorcan pushed him more firmly into the wood at his back. Lorcan slid his hands from Talfryn’s back to skim the flesh just above the drawstring waist of his pants.

  Pulling his head away and ending the kiss, their eyes met and Talfryn could see the passion shimmering in his mate’s gaze. Without a word, Lorcan hauled him close and wrapped him tightly in his arms. Talfryn held on, and a deep shiver reverberated through Lorcan’s body as he sought to control himself. He hadn’t wanted their passion to end and yet he’d known that it would. Taking what comfort he could from their embrace, Talfryn relished the time when he would be able to drag Lorcan to bed.

  Lorcan let out a gusty sigh near his ear. “You’re right. Hate was easier. It prevented me from remembering the love I had for you. Protecting me from the overwhelming despair from not having you in my life. I went to war so I would not have to hurt.”

  It took Talfryn a minute to remember the conversation they had earlier when he’d accurately guessed that Lorcan suffered from a great deal of guilt for beginning a war instead of dealing with his emotions. He pulled back so he could see Lorcan’s eyes. “I understand. I may well have done the same in your position.”

  Lorcan broke eye contact before stepping far enough away that they no longer touched. “I doubt that. Good night, Talfryn of the Cwylld.”

  Obvio
usly Lorcan had been pushed far enough this night. Talfryn leaned forward and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “Good night, Chieftain Lorcan of the Acwellan.”

  Without another word, Lorcan walked the short distance to his own room and disappeared. Talfryn opened the door behind him and entered his own space. No doubt about it, today had been an eventful one. It reminded him of exactly how he’d felt the first time he met Lorcan. Overwhelmed, grateful, and giddy over the fact that Fate had been so gracious to offer him such a mate. He looked toward the ceiling and praised whatever force that had allowed them to be brought back together. There was no way he was going to squander this second chance to be at Lorcan’s side.

  Chapter 33

  Lorcan allowed the conversation around him to go on without interruption. It was early afternoon and he was sitting in Larissa’s workshop while the dragon in question trimmed the mess that was his hair. Her mate, Madeline, was seated near him at the large table in the center of the room. Talfryn had pulled up a chair alongside her. The trio were chatting about some modifications Talfryn wished to make to his bedroom. Apparently, the space was all done in lavender and he wished to add black to the decorations.

  Pretending not to care, Lorcan sat impassively but inside he was pleased Talfryn wanted to include his preference for the dark color in the chamber they would be sharing someday soon. It wasn’t that he was ready to let his guilt fall away, but he had begun to realize the man he had loved was incapable of walking away from their life. While another person might wonder why this hadn’t occurred to him sooner, Lorcan understood exactly why he’d been ready to kill Talfryn.

  As he’d told him last night, it’d been easier to focus on vengeance even if it meant ignoring the pain that led him to begin the war in the first place. Perhaps he’d never believed he was worthy of Talfryn’s love, or maybe he didn’t want to examine the alternative because it would mean that betrayal had come from another corner of his life. What mattered now was that none of it made any difference. The past was gone, and he had to live. Not just survive but live and to do that, he needed Talfryn. He was the other half of his soul and if he were being honest, the better part of it.