by Addison Cole
Dane wanted to take Sheila’s pain away. This had to be his fault. Maybe he’d been too distracted by Lacy lately to see what was going on around him. Maybe that’s why he’d missed the warning signs that Rob was going through a difficult time. In an effort to take some of the burden and all of the blame for all that had happened between them lately, Dane said, “I ended it with Lacy.”
She turned to face him, shaking her head.
“Maybe if I wasn’t thinking about her all the time, I would have seen the trouble you and Rob were having.”
Sheila sniffled through her tears. “No, Dane. Rob didn’t want you to know. He didn’t want to quit. Don’t break up with Lacy because of that. None of this is your fault, and in your heart you know that.”
He clenched his eyes shut against the tears that tumbled down his cheeks. He knew it was selfish to keep talking about himself, but he couldn’t stop the confession from leaving his lips. “This is real. I can’t do that to her. What if it happens to me in a year, or a month, or ten years?” He shook his head. “I can’t do it. She deserves a normal life.”
“Oh, Dane. Yes, it could happen to you, too.”
For a moment everything in the room felt as though it stopped, except for that insufferable beeping from the machine. Dane felt like he’d been thrown against a wall. Yes, it could happen to you, too.
“I’m so sorry,” Sheila said. “She loves you.”
Dane shook his head. Stop thinking about Lacy. That’s over. Focus on Sheila and Rob. He wiped his eyes with the crook of his elbow.
“Tell me what you need and it’s yours. Don’t worry about finances. I’ve got you covered forever. Rob always knew I would if anything ever happened, but what can I help with? The kids? Anything?” He remembered from when his mother was sick and they didn’t know which way she’d turn the next hour, or day, or week, that there were no words to heal the despair that buried itself in a person’s soul while they waited for a loved one’s body to decide its fate, but knowing Dane was there and willing to do whatever she needed might give her comfort.
She shook her head. “I just want Rob. He’s my best friend, Dane. He’s my life.”
Dane leaned over and kissed Rob’s forehead. He took his healthy cheek in his palm and whispered, “You can pull through this. You’re the strongest man I know. Your run’s not over yet. I love you, man.”
“He knows you do,” Sheila said.
I’m not so sure.
Chapter Thirty
STOP THAT INCESSANT banging! Lacy lay on the bed staring up at the ceiling. She’d been in that position for hours, thinking about Sheila and her children, worried about Rob. She wondered if Rob had had any final thoughts when he was whipped with the tail of the shark as it careered through the water, or if he went from excitement over seeing the stupid thing to nothing. Unconscious. And then her mind traveled back to Dane. It always comes back to him. She wondered for a moment if it was him banging on the door, but that thought disappeared with her next breath. She’d seen the finality in his eyes.
She curled up in a fetal position, praying that whoever was banging would go away. How could she move with a broken heart? The reality of the dangers of Dane’s job were staring her in the face, and they’d apparently hit Dane like a bullet train. He said what I’d been thinking but was too weak to admit. We’re doing the right thing. That didn’t mean she didn’t feel like she’d been run over by a Mack truck.
The banging stopped, and Lacy flipped over to her other side and stared at the curtains. How could the sun be out when Sheila was sitting in a hospital room wondering if her husband would live or die? Oh, no. Rob could die.
“Lacy, open the door!”
Kaylie? Lacy’s body went rigid.
“Lacy! It’s us. Please open the door. Lacy, are you okay?” Danica banged on the window again.
Lacy sat up, wanting to climb through the window and run into her sisters’ arms, but she also wanted to wallow in her pain and sadness. She wanted to feel the pain of losing Dane, if only to help her believe it was true.
“Lacy, it’s us,” Kaylie said. “Please open the door. If you did something stupid like overdose, I’m going to kill you.”
I almost wish you would.
“Kaylie!” Danica chided.
Lacy pushed herself from the bed and peered through the curtains at her sisters’ worried faces. They were staring at each other, whispering something Lacy couldn’t hear. They didn’t notice her. She released the curtains, went out the front door, and listened to them arguing about calling the police. Lacy stepped off the porch and stumbled through the grass. Her legs felt like lead, and she grabbed hold of the side of the cottage to keep from falling over as she reached the side yard.
“Oh my goodness. Lacy, honey, are you okay?” Danica wrapped her arms around her and pulled her against her chest. “I was so worried.”
“Why didn’t you answer your phone?” Kaylie asked. “We’ve been calling since last night.”
Lacy couldn’t talk. She closed her eyes, hoping that somehow Danica’s body would absorb her own and she would disappear.
“Come on. Let’s go inside,” Danica said.
Lacy felt her sisters guide her into the house and to the couch.
“Lacy, you need to talk to me.” Danica crouched before Lacy, staring into her eyes. “Look at me, Lace.”
Lacy lifted her eyes.
“Good. You need to talk to me, honey. Max called and told us what happened. No one could reach you or Dane. We were worried sick. Please talk to me. Please, Lacy,” Danica urged.
“Rob’s unconscious,” Lacy whispered. “Yesterday morning he was fine. Now he might die,” she said.
“We know, honey,” Danica said.
“Dane said he can’t put me through what Sheila’s going through.” Lacy’s voice was flat, emotionless, and that’s how she felt, like someone had stolen her will to feel anything. She’d gone numb. She was the living dead.
Kaylie brushed Lacy’s hair from her face. “Oh no. We didn’t know that. Oh Lacy, I’m so sorry.”
Lacy shook her head. “It’s for the best. He could die doing what he does. Why go through that?” She shook her head again. “I just need to live my life, do my job, and move on.”
“Oh, Lacy.” Danica hugged her again. “What can we do?”
“Take me to see Sheila. She needs me,” Lacy said.
“Can we clean you up first?” Kaylie asked.
Danica shot a look at her.
“What?” Kaylie asked. “If she weren’t so upset, she wouldn’t want to go to the hospital looking like she does. I’ll help you get ready.” She took Lacy’s hand and pulled her to her feet. “Come on. We’ll just fix your hair, put on a little makeup, clean clothes. It’ll only take a minute.”
Danica appeared in the bathroom doorway. “Your phone rang, and I found it behind the couch pillows. You have twenty-seven missed calls. Twenty are from us, three are from Max, and two are from a number without an ID. Two are from your boss. Do you want me to call your boss back?”
Kaylie had washed Lacy’s face and fixed her hair. Now she was busy putting concealer on the bags under Lacy’s puffy eyes. Lacy shrugged. Dane didn’t call. His words flew back at her, causing a pain so great in the pit of her stomach that she moaned. Please, just go.
Danica crouched beside her again. “Lacy, what is it?”
She shook her head, tears streaking the newly applied concealer.
“Let me get that.” Kaylie took a washcloth and wiped the makeup from her face. “You know what, Lace? You don’t need makeup. Let’s just get…” She looked at Danica, and Lacy watched as Danica shook her head, silently telling Kaylie to stop trying.
“Come here.” Danica pulled Lacy to her feet and hugged her again. “We can do this, Lacy. Together we can make it through anything. You tell me what you need.”
“Sheila. I need to see her,” Lacy managed.
“Okay, then let’s get you dressed and we’ll go see her.�
�� Danica took her hand and led her into the bedroom.
Kaylie grabbed a pair of shorts and a T-shirt and helped Lacy dress.
Lacy followed the commands of her sisters—Slip your feet into these sandals. Let’s go out to the car. The ride to the hospital was a blur of landscape. Let’s go inside. He’s in the ICU. The elevator hummed beneath her feet. The doors slid open.
Her sisters’ hands found hers. They were warm and small. Safe. They were safe. The antiseptic smell of the ICU made Lacy’s pulse race. The memory of Rob lying in bed with a tube in his mouth, things strapped to his chest and more tubes running from his arm stopped her cold.
“Lacy?” Danica squeezed her hand. “It’s okay, honey. We can wait. When you’re ready, you let me know.”
Ready?
“I texted Max, and Treat arranged for them to let you into the ICU, so take your time. There’s no pressure,” Danica said.
“That’s his room.” Lacy clenched Danica’s and Kaylie’s hands, staring at the entrance to Rob’s room, three doors away from where they stood. A nurse and two people in scrubs rushed past them and flew through Rob’s door.
Kaylie and Danica exchanged a worried glance.
“Kaylie, why don’t you take Lacy to sit down in the waiting room and I’ll go talk to the nurse,” Danica urged.
“Did he die? Oh, no. Did he die?” Lacy’s voice rose. “Is he dead?”
Kaylie stared down the hall with wide eyes.
“Kaylie,” Danica snapped. “Take her to the waiting room.”
“No,” Lacy said. She bolted toward Rob’s room. “No. No. He can’t die. I have to help Sheila. No.” She ran toward the door with Danica and Kaylie on her heels, tears streaming down her cheeks, thoughts of Charlie’s and Katie’s sad faces whirling in her mind like a tornado.
Sheila and a nurse came out of the doorway as Lacy arrived.
“We’ll know soon. Give the doctor space. He’s very good. Let him do his thing,” the nurse said.
Sheila noticed Lacy. “Lacy. Oh my—”
“Is he…” She couldn’t say the word.
“He’s awake. He woke up,” Sheila shrieked. She hugged Lacy. “I was holding his hand and talking to him and I felt his fingers move. I thought it was just me hoping, but then I felt it again, and then his eyelids moved.”
“He’s a-alive?” Lacy asked.
“Alive and awake, Lacy.” Sheila hugged her again. “The doctor’s with him now. Thank goodness, he’s awake,” she cried.
THEY’D SPENT FORTY-FIVE minutes with Sheila, and during that time, Lacy’s mind and body came back to her. The doctors said that Rob appeared not to have any mental deficits, but his breathing was shallow and he was still being treated prophylactically for aspiration pneumonia. He’d need to remain in the hospital and he’d need the breathing tube until his lungs recovered. He’d been mildly sedated when they’d left, but not before seeing him write a note to Sheila that read, I’m so sorry.
Danica, Kaylie, and Lacy had returned to the cottage, and Rob’s note haunted her. Was he sorry that he’d gone diving again? Sorry that he’d been hurt? Or sorry that he hadn’t listened to Sheila when she’d first begun asking him to change careers?
Kaylie was in the kitchen fixing lunch. Food always helps my kids when they’re upset, she’d said, and Danica had been watching Lacy as if she were about to jump off a bridge.
“You didn’t have to come here, but I’m glad you did,” Lacy said.
“When Max called and told us what had happened, I was worried, but I knew you’d call if you needed us. But then, when we couldn’t reach you and Max said no one could reach Dane, I started to worry,” Danica said.
“Maybe Dane went back home.” Lacy’s voice was just above a whisper. It hurt to say his name, and knowing that he might have left the state brought another wave of sadness. She curled her feet beneath her on the couch. The couch where she’d tried to seduce Dane. Stop it. She swallowed against the lump in her throat.
“Blake called his father’s house and he’s not there,” Danica said.
“No. I meant his home. He lives on a boat in Florida when he’s not traveling,” Lacy said.
Kaylie brought a plate with grilled cheese sandwiches into the living room and set it on the coffee table. “Comfort food,” she said.
“Thanks, Kaylie,” Lacy said.
“Lacy, I don’t want to sound ignorant, but from what Danica shared with me, it sounded as if you and Dane were headed down lover’s lane. Why would Rob’s accident change that?” Kaylie picked up a sandwich and took a bite. “I swear grilled cheese really does help.”
“I’m not sure anything will help this,” Lacy said. “We were heading in that direction, or maybe we had already found the lane and run down it, but Rob’s accident changed everything. After Danica and I talked—Oh wow, this hurts so bad.” Tears fell from her eyes. “I love him so much that everything hurts. From my eyes to my stomach to my frigging feet. I ache all over. I miss him so much.”
Danica pulled her close. “I’m sorry.”
Lacy took a deep breath and continued. “We tried to figure out how our relationship could possibly work. He wanted me to travel with him.” She smiled through her tears at the memory of his friendship proposal. Her smile faded as more recent memories invaded her mind. “Then Rob had his accident and I realized—he realized—we both realized that I could give up everything to be with him and something like this could happen. Or worse, he could get killed. Rob was lucky.”
“But, Lacy, something could happen to anyone,” Danica reminded her. “Look at Blake’s partner. He died in a skiing accident. Something could happen walking across the street.”
“I know, but still. I can’t change my life to be with him, no matter how much I love him, knowing that I could end up losing him any day that he went to work. Sheila told me how hard it was to be married to Rob because of what they do. She worried every day. Then her kids began worrying. You know that every day you love someone you just love them more—and I love him so much already.”
“I know you do,” Kaylie said. “It’s written all over your face, like a crack that says, Fix me. Please get Dane to fix me.”
“How can I go into a relationship knowing I’d be tortured every day with worry? It seems unhealthy at the least, and unfair, and…I don’t know. Danica, don’t you have any support for me here?” Please tell me what to do.
Danica sighed. “Lacy, honey, I can’t tell you what to do. You have valid concerns, and you’re right. You’ll probably worry every day. Every job has risks. Granted his is riskier than most, but still. Women marry police officers and firefighters all the time.”
“Seeing Sheila mourning her husband as he lay there in the hospital bed—”
“I know it was difficult, but he lived, Lacy. He’s okay,” Danica said.
“This time,” Lacy said. “I don’t think I can do it.” And Dane doesn’t want to. “Especially now that I can’t deny how unsafe his job really is.” She touched her thigh. “He asked me to leave,” she whispered.
“He…You were both in shock. I’m sure he didn’t mean it,” Danica said.
“Maybe you should go talk to him, Lace,” Kaylie suggested.
“I can’t. If I see him, I’ll see Rob and then I’ll see Sheila falling apart and wondering how she’ll survive. And then the kids’ little faces. You should have seen how scared they were when we arrived at the hospital,” Lacy said.
“Everyone goes through scary trips to the hospital at some point,” Danica said.
“And kids are resilient. His kids won’t even remember this in two years. It’ll be like a bad dream,” Kaylie said.
“Maybe not, but Sheila will, and I know I will. If I see Dane, I’ll beg him to take me back, and what happens if next time it’s him in that hospital bed? What then?” She swiped at her tears. “You think I should give up my whole life for a guy I might lose because he’s got some stupid idea about saving sharks?”
“Lacy, cal
m down,” Danica said.
Kaylie shot her a look. “You don’t tell a woman who’s upset to calm down.” She put her hand on Lacy’s shoulder. “Honey, love comes with worries, no matter what job a person has. And it’s scary and all consuming at times, but if you love him that much, isn’t it worth it?”
Lacy couldn’t think past her pain again. Worth it? How could anything be worth losing the person you love? She looked at her sisters, and for the first time since the accident, Lacy felt sure of one thing. “I want to go home.”
Chapter Thirty-One
DANE FLEW THROUGH the ICU doors twenty minutes after receiving the message from Sheila. He shouldn’t have turned off his phone, but his family’s incessant calls were driving him mad. He’d turned the phone on for only a minute, to call the hospital, when his messages rolled through. Seven from his family and one from Sheila. He entered Rob’s room out of breath and unprepared to see the tube still down his best friend’s throat.
“I thought…?” Dane fumbled for words.
“He needs the tube until his lungs recover,” Sheila said.
Rob lifted his sleepy eyes and met Dane’s. Tears spilled down Dane’s cheeks. He leaned over, and with one arm on each of Rob’s thick shoulders, careful not to knock the tubes and wires that snaked Rob’s body, Dane put his face against Rob’s healthy cheek. He needed to feel Rob against him, and he wanted Rob to feel what was left of his strength and to draw from it whatever he needed.
“I missed…” Sobs swallowed Dane’s voice. “You scared the crap out of me.”
Rob pointed to a notebook in Sheila’s hands. She handed it to him, and Rob fumbled to grip the pen, then dragged it across the paper slowly. His hand shook as he passed the pad to Dane.
Did they tag her?
Dane laughed and wiped a tear from his cheek. “You crazy moron. You scared the crap out of me. No, they didn’t tag her. We were too busy saving your hide.” Dane wiped his eyes. “I’m sorry, man. I shouldn’t have let you go down. It was selfish and stupid.”
