We Thought We Were Invincible

by Michelle MacQueen

  “Sorry.”

  I rubbed the spot where his fingers had been, not knowing what to say.

  I wanted to hug him, give him whatever comfort I had, but there were eyes on us so there was nothing I could do as his shoulders slumped and he walked toward the car where Kat and Colby were waiting.

  As we sat in the backseat, I gave Jamie the only thing I could.

  I didn't look at him as I said, “Storm's coming.”

  Let me ask you a question. When something terrible happens, do you hide or do you run into the fire ready to fight? It was a favorite question of my mom's, one of her parting pieces of wisdom. She never wanted us to be runners, only fighters. That's why I was there. Telling myself that didn't make it any easier. It didn't slow my rapidly beating heart. It didn't make the collar of my wetsuit feel any less suffocating. I tugged at it with one hand while the other ran over the smooth surface of the board that was stuck in the sand beside me.

  It wasn't my board. Mine was still in pieces beneath my bed. No, this was a spare one we had in the garage. My mom had never used it as she had the other and it no longer felt like she was out here with me. It no longer felt like I was safe.

  Jamie grinned at me for the first time since his conversation with his father, reminding me why I even bothered. The waves crashed and rolled, waiting for us to take the plunge.

  I ripped my board from the sand and tucked it under my arm, taking tentative steps until I was ankle deep in water, the foam swirling around my calves. Jamie was just ahead of me.

  “It's perfect out here today,” he yelled back toward me.

  I didn't respond. I couldn't. A lump formed in my throat, cutting off all words, making it hard to breathe. I dropped my board, but it didn't go far tethered to my ankle as it was.

  Air. God, I needed air. A sharp pain stabbed through my chest. When I closed my eyes to block out the waves, images assaulted me. Being pulled under. Gasping for breath. Darkness. So much darkness. Pain in my leg.

  I couldn't take it anymore. I picked up my board and ran from the water. Dropping it on the sand, I ripped the board leash from my ankle and fell to my knees, trying to breathe.

  One hand on my chest and the other in the sand to keep from falling over, I sucked in air.

  The images sank back into the ocean and the panic loosened its hold on my heart.

  Jamie ran up the beach toward me, dropping at my side.

  “Cal.”

  At the sound of my name, I lost it, burying my face against him as large tears rolled down my cheeks. His arms came around me, calming me down.

  “Come on,” he said, pulling me up. “We don't need to do this today.”

  “No.” I wiped my face. “We came here to help you work out your frustration. I can watch. You should get out there.”

  “I can think of better ways to work out frustrations.” He tilted my face up to kiss him.

  “Mmmm,” I whispered, my trauma forgotten when he was that close. “That is something I think I can help you with.”

  21

  Callie

  “Car is gassed up,” Aunt Kat said, running through her checklist. “Water. Food. Batteries. Candles. Flashlights.”

  “I'll get the hurricane shutters put up,” Noah said. “Though I doubt we'll need them.”

  “Thanks, sweetie.” Kat leaned in for a kiss before he went out.

  I regarded her for a moment. “I'm glad you're happy, Aunt Kat.”

  She looked at me, surprise shining in her eyes. “What's going on with you, Callie?” She laughed. “You've been way too chipper lately.”

  I shrugged.

  “If I didn't know better, I'd say there was a guy involved. You were always nicer when you were with Jay.”

  I grabbed a towel off the counter and snapped her with it.

  “Are you and Jay back together?”

  “Did I hear my name?” Jay walked in, flashing us a grin.

  I threw the towel down and went to him, very aware of Kat's eyes on us. “What are you doing here?”

  He leaned in to whisper. “Why is she looking at us like that?”

  “She thinks we're back together.”

  He threw his head back with a laugh. “Then this will be a surprise.” As soon as he said it, a tall girl with long honey brown hair and a flawless complexion walked in.

  “This is Brandy,” he said.

  She walked over, suddenly making me feel small.

  “Kat.” Jay raised his voice. “This is my girlfriend.”

  Kat shook her head with a laugh and went to help Noah.

  “I've heard a lot about you, Callie.” Brandy’s voice didn't match her appearance. It was sweet.

  “What are you guys doing here?” I asked him for the second time.

  “Heard you had a hurricane day from school.” He shrugged. “Our Monday classes were canceled, so we decided to come hang.”

  Commotion came from the door. Jamie and Colby were arguing about something. By the time they got inside, Colby had his arm swung over Jamie's shoulders in a headlock. Morgan followed behind them.

  “What's going on?” I asked.

  Morgan shrugged. At the sound of my voice, Jamie stopped and looked up grinning. Then he saw who was next to me and the grin faded.

  “Hey, brother,” Jay said.

  “Jay.” Jamie nodded.

  Introductions were made all around with Brandy and we all settled into the living room. They sandwiched me between Colby and Jamie on the couch.

  The movie we put on couldn't hold my interest and I found myself hyper-aware of the boy next to me. Jamie put his hand on my knee and I swatted it away with a stern look, wishing he could do it again.

  “Stop fidgeting,” Colby said. On the other side of him, Morgan gave me a knowing look.

  Jay was watching us, curiosity alight in his eyes.

  “Dammit,” I burst out, my face heating up. Everyone stared at me like I was losing my mind.

  The rain pounded against the roof as Noah and Kat walked into the living room with trays of food.

  “Hurricane snacks.” Noah offered his platter to Jay.

  With the shutters up, the house had darkened, the air growing stale. I jumped up to turn on the overhead fan, needing something to do, then mumbled a few words and took off toward my room.

  I couldn't take it anymore. The lying. The sneaking around. Nothing I felt was worth that. I wasn't made for subterfuge. My whole life, I'd been known for being blunt and too honest.

  The door opened and Jamie slipped in behind me. Before I could protest, he pulled me to him for a scorching kiss.

  “Jamie.” I broke away. “They're all right out there.”

  “I don't care.”

  I put a hand on his chest to stop him. “Yes, you do. That's the problem.”

  With a growl, he stepped back from me.

  “I need to tell you something.” I ran a hand over my braid, tucking in a few stray hairs, stalling. “I kind of told Jay about us.”

  “You've got to be kidding me.” He sighed. “I shouldn't be surprised. Your precious Jay.”

  “What's that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing. I… nothing.”

  “No, you don't get to do that. Tell me.”

  “No one is ever going to live up to him in your mind.”

  “You have no idea what you're talking about,” I spat. “Jay is my friend. My best friend. But you're… you know what, never mind.”

  His face softened, heat returning to his eyes.

  “I'm what, Cal?”

  “I feel -” Before I could spill my guts, Colby knocked and pushed open the door, scowling when he saw the two of us together. He tried to hide it.

  “What are you two doing?” he asked.

  The lights flickered, but remained on.

  “Nothing.” I brushed by him. “Absolutely nothing.”

  “So, they canceled school again for tomorrow,” Morgan said when I threw myself down onto the couch beside her.

 
“Seriously?” I pulled out my phone to check out the radar. “Now it doesn't even look like we'll get a direct hit. The eye is way out in the gulf.”

  “Which is why it's totally OK to go out tonight, right?” She winked.

  “Probably not.” I glanced back toward Jamie and Colby. “But why should that stop us?”

  “Oooo, your corruption is complete.” She laughed, throwing her arms around me. “There's a hurricane party. I doubt Colby would go since there's no way Kat would say yes. We could invite Jamie though.”

  “No,” I blurted. When she eyed me, I amended that. “Let's do a girl's night.”

  “Perfect. We'll just tell Kat you're staying at my house. The party started earlier since it's kinda an all-day thing so we can say we're heading out when the rain lets up. Amelia's parents are out of town and her house is the perfect place for a party.”

  I swallowed hard. We were going to Amelia's party. If I had known that, I may not have agreed so quickly. Reminding myself that she didn't know about me and Jamie, I tried to push the nerves away.

  High school parties were foreign to me. Before this year, I was never the kind of person who was invited. Colby always was, but rarely went. He was too focused on school and soccer, something that only made him more popular. He was mysterious. People didn't know me either, and they thought I was just weird.

  Not this year. This year I was one of them.

  Jay and his girlfriend left as soon as there was a break in the rain, saying they had to meet up with his father.

  Jamie didn't react. Not until Morgan and I announced we were leaving. He protested, but I gave him a sharp look. The truth was, I needed a break. A break from secrets and all these little arguments we seemed to keep having. A break from not feeling good enough.

  Wearing an outfit Morgan picked for me - skinny jeans with a loose black shirt and long silver necklace - and my hair swept off my neck in a high ponytail, I followed her out to her car.

  Nothing looked out of place outside, only wet. So much for the hurricane.

  Amelia's house was tucked away in a gated community on the other side of Gulf city. Morgan had the gate code, so we got through easily and parked on the street amongst the other cars. It looked like everyone from school was here. Trudging up her long driveway, I was glad I'd insisted on boots when Morgan tried to force me into heels.

  The house before us had a blue concrete face and intricately carved pillars. It looked like a typical Florida house on steroids. Music poured from the front door that stood wide open.

  We stepped inside the large entryway. A crowd was spilling out of the living room down the hall and before we knew it, we were being swept into the room.

  People called Morgan's name, and I tried not to lose her. I recognized most of the faces, but didn't actually know many of them. When I turned around for a split second, I was separated from my only lifeline.

  Needing to breathe, I pushed myself back into the hall where I ran into a tall, skinny kid.

  “Sorry,” he blurted, reaching out to steady me.

  “Totally my fault.” I looked up at him. There was something about him that seemed familiar.

  “Well, a pretty girl like you can run into me any time you'd like.” He grinned.

  My cheeks heated, but a laugh broke free.

  “Troy,” Morgan yelled, sidling up to me. “Stop hitting on my friends.”

  “Hey Morg.” He swayed and for the first time I realized he was drunk.

  “Hi, little brother.” She laughed. “You okay?”

  “Never better.”

  “Uh huh. Well, Callie and I are going to get a drink.” She dragged me away, whispering in my ear. “Shots?”

  I didn't want to tell her I'd never had a shot in my life, so I nodded. First time for everything, right?

  In the kitchen, Amelia was lining up shot glasses on the counter while a few of her friends milled around nearby.

  “Morgan, perfect!” She glanced up, stopping what she was doing. Her eyes were glazed as if she'd been at this all day. She probably had. “Oh.” She stumbled against the counter before righting herself. “You brought Callie.”

  “That a problem?” Morgan challenged.

  “No.” A grin spread across her face, but it was worse than fake. “Even if she was sleeping with Jamie while I was dating him.”

  Now it was my turn to stumble. “I… I wasn't…”

  People stared from me to Amelia and back again in shock.

  “I know you're sleeping together,” she said. “I saw you kissing at school.”

  Morgan stepped forward. “Even if they are now, which I am totally not confirming, it didn't start until you broke up.”

  “Well, if it wasn't you.” Amelia pointed at me. “It was someone. I know for a fact that he slept with someone the night before we broke up.”

  I had nothing to say to that. A part of me hurt hearing it. That would have been soon after we went skydiving together. When I thought… well, it didn't matter what I thought.

  I looked from Morgan's concerned face to Amelia's smug one, then down at the shot of tequila that was within arm's reach. Making a quick decision, I snatched it and threw it back. It burned, causing me to sputter and cough before settling its warmth in my belly.

  “I want another.” I slammed the shot glass back on the table.

  A hint of acceptance had replaced the smugness in Amelia's expression as she nodded and poured me another along with one for herself. We downed them together in solidarity.

  I did two more before stumbling out of the kitchen. Shots? Check. Another thing on my invincible checklist for this year. Only, that was something I was supposed to be doing with Jamie.

  Screw Jamie.

  Why did it hurt that he'd been with someone else so soon before me? Was it that he cheated on Amelia? I'd always believed that you could never trust a cheater. But we weren't even together. Not really. If we were, we wouldn't hide like we were ashamed.

  The rain had started again, its rhythm soothing to my spinning head. I lost Morgan, but it didn't bother me as much anymore.

  I walked through the party, for once not caring what these people thought of me. It was freeing.

  Morgan's brother Troy was dancing by himself when I found him. He grinned at me. His was one of those faces you couldn't help but like. Not hot exactly - he was two years younger, so gross - but open and friendly. I took his offered hand and moved as if I actually knew what I was doing.

  It was fun and silly. Amelia even joined us, made nicer by the copious amounts of alcohol she'd consumed. For the first time, I felt like I fit in that world.

  After a while, I fumbled my way through the house in search of the restroom. Troy followed close behind, talking my ear off about anything and everything. He was funny, and I found myself wanting us to be friends.

  Upstairs, we opened doors in our search. The second one we opened was one I wish had stayed shut forever.

  Morgan sat on a bed, her shirt partially off, a boy who was not my brother glued to her lips.

  “Morgan, gross,” Troy shouted.

  Her eyes snapped in our direction and I took off, my need for the restroom forgotten.

  Troy and Morgan's footsteps thundered down the stairs after me, but I bolted from the house and down the street into the light rain.

  I didn't stop until I was sure they weren't following. Pulling out my phone, I saw the time. It was late, and I just wanted to go home. There was no way I was calling Colby after what I just saw and Kat would ground me forever. Jamie was still on my shit list.

  I dialed the only person I could, hoping he was still in town.

  “Hola,” Jay answered.

  “Hey.” My voice was slurred. “I need a ride.”

  “Shit, Cal. You drunk?” He laughed.

  “I'll text you the address.” I hung up and shot him off a text.

  He arrived about twenty minutes later.

  “Where's the girlfriend?” I asked, dropping into the passenger se
at.

  “Asleep.” He shook his head. “Do you know how late it is?”

  “Thanks for coming.”

  “Anything for you. I just didn't expect you to hang out with people like this. Amelia, really?”

  “You know her?”

  “Her brother was in my year.”

  “I know I don't fit.” I sunk back into the chair.

  “No.” He reached out and squeezed my arm. “It's them that don't fit you.”

  22

  Jamie

  “Dude, what the hell?” Colby yelled. “We're on the same team. Stop trying to shoot me.”

  I growled in frustration. “Then get out of my way.”

  “What is wrong with you?” He put his controller on the coffee table and took a sip of water.

  “Are you quitting?”

  “You're being a jerk, so yeah.”

  I heard his sister in those words and sighed. Neither of them realized how similar they really were. That thought creeped me out since I couldn't seem to get her out of my mind.

  “You think the girls went to Amelia's party?” I asked for the tenth time that night.

  Colby barked out a laugh. “The one place you wouldn't be welcome.”

  “Can you picture Callie there?” I tried to laugh with him.

  Colby succeeded where I failed, holding his stomach as he did. “God no. She's probably hating every second. I'm kind of surprised she isn't back.”

  “Me too.”

  Colby eyed me, and I let it drop. Callie and I weren't dating. We were only having a little fun, and I knew it'd have to stop soon, before anyone found out.

  Colby was the closest thing I had to family. He'd been there through everything growing up. He was the only person besides Jay and his mom who knew what my dad could be like. This house was a haven, always had been, and I hoped it always would be.

  Jamie Daniels didn't get feelings, and I wasn't going to start now, not with so much on the line. Because Colby was right, I'd only mess it up. That's what screw ups did and my best friend had the same opinion of me that my father did, a fact I hadn't known until he thought he was protecting his sister. It hurt, but I was used to what people thought of me by now.