Making Peace

by Fiona McCallum

  ‘Pete! Hi! Wonderful to see you. Come in,’ she said.

  ‘Thanks.’ He kissed her on the cheek. ‘These are for you,’ he said, holding out a bunch of pale pink roses wrapped in layers of purple, green and white tissue paper and bound in clear cellophane with a purple bow.

  ‘They’re gorgeous. Thank you,’ Hannah said, instinctively putting her nose to the blooms. She was disappointed. As usual. Why didn’t commercially grown roses have a scent? And more importantly, why did she – and everyone else according to the movies – always test them, despite knowing the answer? ‘Lovely,’ she said. ‘Come through.’

  ‘Yum, something smells good,’ Pete said.

  ‘Lasagne. You’re welcome to stay for dinner. Beth from across the road and my parents-in-law, Raelene and Adrian, are coming over.’

  ‘Thanks, but I can’t stay.’

  ‘Glass of wine?’

  ‘No, thanks. Better not.’

  ‘Coffee, then, or tea?’

  ‘No. I’m okay, thanks. I came to talk to you.’

  ‘Well, at least sit down. As my dad used to say, you’re making the place look untidy,’ she said with a laugh, and pulled a stool out from the bench for him.

  She sat down and as she looked across at Pete she realised she’d put the wide island bench between them. She hadn’t meant to, but she couldn’t exactly move now without it looking odd.

  ‘I hope you enjoyed the event. Thanks so much for coming. I’m really sorry I was running around like a lunatic most of the night and barely got a chance to see you.’

  ‘You were rather preoccupied. But I understand.’

  ‘So, how’s things? What’s been going on?’ Hannah felt a little stifled and then perplexed. Why was talking to Pete suddenly so hard? ‘Oh. I’ll just pop these in some water,’ she said, leaping up. She unwrapped the flowers, quickly trimmed the stems and placed them in a large cut-crystal vase – her mother’s favourite – and put it on the end of the bench. ‘Lovely,’ she said again and couldn’t drag her eyes away from them. She felt like an awkward teenager unable to look at a boy she had a crush on.

  ‘Hannah?’

  ‘Yep?’ She forced herself to turn back to Pete.

  ‘I need to talk to you?’

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘This, us, isn’t working,’ he said with a long drawn-out sigh. ‘I so badly wanted it to – maybe I wanted it too much, but …’

  Hannah blinked. ‘Oh. Right.’ She wasn’t sure what else to say. It was a long time since she’d been in this position. She found herself wondering if she’d ever been in this position. ‘Because I didn’t give you enough attention the other night, is that it?’ She desperately tried to keep her voice even and the rising irritation at bay.

  ‘No. God, Hannah, of course not. We’re adults, we don’t need coddling, well, we shouldn’t.’

  ‘So, what are you saying, exactly? That we’re not going to be seeing each other anymore? We’re not compatible, or something?’

  ‘Yes. I’m sorry, Hannah. I can’t really explain it. I liked you. I like you, Hannah. I still do.’

  ‘I like you too. A lot.’

  ‘I’m glad. As clichéd as it is, I guess all I can say is it’s me not you,’ he said apologetically.

  ‘Which never actually means that, does it?’

  ‘I don’t know. Doesn’t it?’ he asked with a laugh. ‘Oh, I don’t know, I’m new at this dating thing and clearly not very good at it. Maybe it’s just too soon for me.’

  ‘And maybe you’re just using that as an excuse to give up,’ Hannah said. ‘Maybe I’m not ready either, but at least I’m not throwing the towel in after two dates and a weekly text message for three weeks.’

  ‘What are you saying?’

  ‘I don’t know, but it takes more than flowers and dinner to make a relationship work. Your letter was very promising. Look, hey, don’t get me wrong, I’m not angry. Sorry, I didn’t mean to have a go at you. I’m just disappointed. And I really do appreciate you coming around in person rather than you phoning or standing me up somewhere.’

  ‘I would never do that.’

  ‘Well, I wouldn’t really know, Pete, I don’t feel I got to know you very well at all.’

  ‘I know. I’m sorry. It probably didn’t help that I was away for so long.’

  ‘No, but it was what it was. If it was meant to be, I guess it would have,’ Hannah said.

  ‘Here’s another cliché. Do you think we could be friends? Please,’ Pete said.

  Hannah couldn’t help laughing at the boyish, pleading look he gave her.

  ‘I don’t see why not. I don’t want to have to change vet practices.’

  ‘I don’t want you to, either. Okay. So, we’re good then? Or at least okay?’

  ‘We’re fine, Pete. I am disappointed, but I’m not going to go all psycho on you.’

  ‘Oh, well, that’s a relief.’

  ‘No, no restraining orders needed here,’ Hannah said, smiling weakly.

  ‘Well, I’d better get going. Again, Hannah, I’m really sorry it didn’t work out.’

  ‘Me too.’ She walked him out and gave him a farewell hug. It seemed the right thing to do. No hard feelings.

  ‘Thanks for being so good about it. And, please, if you ever need me as a friend, you know where I am, Hannah. I mean it.’

  ‘Thanks. Ditto.’

  ‘All the best, Hannah. Oh, and give that Brad guy a call. The way he was looking at you, he’s definitely interested.’

  ‘Sorry? Oh. No, he’s married.’

  ‘Really? Well, could have fooled me. Oh well, must be a player, then,’ he said, and shrugged. ‘In that case, watch out for him,’ he added, laughing, and left with a wave.

  Hannah stood watching Pete go down the driveway, feeling a strange mixture of emotions. But she didn’t have long to consider how she felt because she saw Beth, Raelene and Adrian making their way over.

  Hannah closed the front screen door behind her in case the cats decided to run out and waited in the cool, still evening for her guests to arrive.

  ‘I was hoping your young man would be joining us,’ Beth said as she hugged Hannah hello.

  ‘Yes, we saw him at the opening, but didn’t get a chance to meet him properly,’ Adrian said.

  ‘He’s not my young man anymore,’ Hannah said.

  ‘Oh?’ Raelene said.

  ‘Apparently I’ve just been dumped.’

  ‘Oh, no. I’m sorry to hear that. I liked him,’ Beth said.

  ‘So did I. Come in,’ Hannah said, holding the door open for them. ‘Who else is in need of a glass of wine?’ she said when they were in the kitchen.

  ‘I’ll do the honours,’ Adrian said, holding up the bottle he’d brought.

  ‘Okay, great. I just have to make a salad and heat the lasagne and garlic bread and we’re done. You guys are welcome to sit in the dining room or lounge if it’s more comfortable. I won’t be long.’

  ‘I’ll keep you company in here,’ Beth said.

  ‘Me too,’ Raelene said, joining Beth at the bench.

  ‘Well, I’m not going to sit in there on my own,’ Adrian said.

  ‘Lovely flowers,’ Raelene said.

  ‘Pete brought them.’

  ‘Oh. Why would he bring flowers if he’s going to dump you?’ Raelene said.

  ‘Beats me,’ Hannah said.

  ‘Sounds like a guilt-offering to me,’ Adrian said, though. ‘Maybe he’s met someone else.’

  ‘So, what did he say? Or don’t you want to talk about it?’ Beth said.

  ‘I’m not sure, really. It’s not you, it’s me, was about the gist of it,’ Hannah said with a shrug.

  ‘He didn’t! What a cop out,’ Raelene said.

  ‘Sorry, I’m sure this is uncomfortable for you to hear, given you’re my parents-in-law. I’ll stop.’

  ‘Only if you want to. We don’t mind a bit, Hannah, do we, Adrian?’

  ‘Not at all. We wouldn’t for a second expect you to spen
d the rest of your life alone and celibate. Life is to be lived.’

  ‘Thanks. I guess the timing just wasn’t right.’

  ‘Or maybe he’s just not right for you,’ Beth suggested. ‘You did say he was a bit aloof these last few weeks while he was away. Only the odd text message?’

  ‘That’s no way to treat a young lady you really like and if you don’t want her to look elsewhere,’ Adrian said.

  ‘You’ve probably dodged a bullet, isn’t that what you young ones say?’ Beth said. ‘At least he didn’t get the chance to break your heart.’

  ‘Yes, but she can’t not get involved out of fear of having her heart broken,’ Raelene said.

  ‘She didn’t dump him, he dumped her, remember?’ Beth said.

  ‘Hey, guys, I’m right here,’ Hannah said with a laugh. ‘If I’m being really honest with you and myself, I’m not sure I felt enough for him. I liked the company and of course the bit of attention, but I’m not sure I felt or ever would have felt swept off my feet. I don’t think he had the capacity to be very romantic without coaching.’

  ‘Yes, remember that letter he sent? It was his sister who had pointed out the error of his ways,’ Beth said.

  ‘I don’t think I’m very high maintenance, but I would have liked a bit more. I guess I’d like to feel all fluttery, weak at the knees maybe. Like I did with Tristan.’

  ‘And you deserve to,’ Beth said.

  ‘Don’t settle for less than you want or deserve,’ Raelene said.

  ‘What about that Brad fellow?’ Beth said. ‘I couldn’t help noticing the way you looked at each other.’

  ‘I don’t think so.’ Not you too. ‘Anyway, thanks for listening. I think we can conclude that Pete just wasn’t right for me.’

  ‘Plenty more fish in the sea, as my dear old mum used to say,’ Adrian said.

  ‘I’ll drink to that,’ Hannah said, raising her glass. ‘Not that I’m really looking.’

  ‘That’s good. That’s when they turn up,’ Raelene said.

  ‘Here’s to kissing some more frogs,’ Beth said.

  ‘No, thanks,’ Hannah said.

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  From the tram, Hannah watched the glow of the setting sun behind the tall city buildings. She enjoyed being at home and not travelling into the city each day, but she did sometimes miss being a part of the hustle and bustle.

  She got off and made her way along Spring Street, pausing at each crossing to take a fortifying breath. She wasn’t sure why she was a little nervous. It’s only business, she reminded herself. Though that didn’t really help – she was new at this doing business caper and she felt a certain amount of pressure to succeed for Craig. She’d been pleased to have this to look forward to and to keep her distracted. Raelene and Adrian had left, Beth had gone to stay with a cousin to help out while she was unwell, and Rob was leaving this evening to go back to Singapore. She was disappointed she hadn’t had the chance to catch up with him properly again because they’d gone to Daylesford at the last minute for Easter. Oh well. The most important thing was that Sam and the boys had spent a decent amount of quality time with him. And that his surprise arrival had been welcomed.

  Hannah paused to look around her after stepping into the foyer of The Windsor Hotel. Oh how she loved this place with its plush, traditional décor. She made her way past the concierge desk and sweeping staircase to the restaurant entrance and waited for the maître d’.

  ‘Hello. Booking for two under the name of Brad Thomas, I believe,’ Hannah said to the young woman.

  ‘This way please.’

  Hannah was led to the same table as last time. She momentarily thought about sitting where Brad had sat to mix things up, but didn’t want to cause a commotion when the maître d’ pulled out the other chair for her. Seated, she checked her watch. She was five minutes early. That wasn’t the same, she thought. Last time Brad had already been settled when she’d braved eating alone in the hotel’s restaurant – a first for her, and one of many firsts that year. That week, fleeing the media camped outside her house to the security of The Windsor and then meeting Brad had turned out to be quite a turning point for her. She couldn’t really put her finger on how, exactly, but she’d felt different after staying here – better – and he’d been a big part of that. She looked around. The restaurant was filling up. There was a buzz of cheerful, earnest chatter. Hannah waved when she saw him enter.

  ‘Hannah, wonderful to see you,’ Brad said. She leapt up to hug him.

  ‘Thanks for suggesting this,’ she said. ‘It’s nice to be back.’

  ‘Thanks for agreeing. I have to confess to being a bit of a sentimental old bloke,’ he said, sitting down.

  ‘You’re hardly old and, anyway, I think it’s rather lovely.’

  ‘I’m thinking of being really sentimental and ordering what I had last time – if it’s still on the menu, even down to the Shiraz. Oh, and sharing dessert with you again if you’re game – hopefully they still have that decadent chocolate pudding and delicious cheese platter.’

  ‘You’ve got a good memory.’ Though Hannah, too, had remembered.

  ‘For some things. And if I remember correctly, you were very sensible and didn’t drink.’

  ‘I was in a very different place then. I’ll join you in a glass tonight.’

  ‘Don’t feel pressured.’

  ‘I don’t.’

  ‘Great. How about the Pepperjack?’ he said, studying the menu.

  ‘Sounds good to me,’ Hannah said.

  ‘I’m sure there are reviewers who would be scathing of their unchanged menu, but I like it,’ Brad said.

  ‘At least you know what you’re in for. I don’t think you can go wrong with sticking to the classics.’

  ‘It really is wonderful to see you, Hannah,’ Brad said after the waiter had taken their orders and left. Suddenly he was reaching his hands across the table and gently unwrapping Hannah’s from the water glass that she was clutching as a bit of a security blanket. She was a little stunned. It felt very intimate, not at all like the business meeting she’d envisaged. And she found she didn’t mind one little bit. Was that wrong? she wondered as she stared at their entwined hands. Oh how good it felt to be touched – skin on skin. She had to consciously stop herself closing her eyes in ecstasy.

  Hang on, what are you doing? You’re married! She wanted to pull her hands away but at the same time she didn’t want him ever to let go.

  As he dropped her hands and leaned back Hannah tried not to look at him, instead studying the table and the shiny cutlery. Anything to distract her from this awkward tension growing between them.

  ‘You said at the opening that you’re a permanent fixture in Melbourne now. How did that come about?’ Hannah asked, almost barking the question.

  ‘Oh. I got sick of all the travelling back and forth and living out of a suitcase.’ Something in his slightly evasive tone made her look up and study him closer. He was looking decidedly uncomfortable. And then something dawned on her.

  ‘Oh no, have you been through a separation or a divorce since I saw you? How awful.’

  ‘Sorry?’

  ‘You’re not wearing a wedding ring, but you were last time,’ Hannah said, nodding at his bare finger.

  ‘Wedding ring? Oh. About that.’ He stared with a slight frown at his hands as if seeing them for the first time.

  ‘I’m not married. I’ve never actually been married.

  ‘But you were wearing a wedding ring the night I met you.’

  ‘Yes. I was. I always do when I’m travelling and don’t want to pick up or be picked up.’

  ‘Oh.’ Hannah felt quite disconcerted. She was honest to the core and didn’t like the idea of this deception.

  ‘Please don’t be weird about it, Hannah.’

  ‘I am a bit, to tell the truth.’

  ‘I enjoy the company of women and it’s just a way to put them at ease. You probably wouldn’t have considered sharing my table that night if
I hadn’t been wearing a wedding ring and assured you I was happily married, would you?’

  ‘No, probably not.’ Hannah relaxed slightly. She’d brought a book with her to pretend to read so as not to be disturbed. Had his prop really been very different from her book? A voice in her head told her there was no comparison, but she chose to ignore it. At that moment two glasses of red wine were delivered.

  ‘To us, friendship, and getting to know each other,’ Brad said, raising his glass.

  ‘To us,’ Hannah said, lifting her own glass and tilting it towards him. They held each other’s gaze as they clinked glasses and then took their first sips.

  ‘So, you’ve changed jobs, you were saying at the exhibition launch,’ Brad said.

  ‘Yes. Thanks so much again for your amazing review. Sam was really chuffed with it.’

  ‘You’ve already thanked me, and you don’t need to. It was an honest, unbiased review, I can assure you. So, your new job? Tell me about it.’

  ‘Well, it’s why I wanted to meet, actually. I’m in charge of marketing and business development for a new consultancy firm specialising in the services sector. We’re looking for small to medium sized organisations that might be interested in advice on their growth strategy and improving their business. As it’s a new company we’re deliberately keeping the approach broad. Craig’s all about forming strong, long-term working relationships. I wondered if you might have some contacts or could at least point me in the right direction for some leads. I’ve never done this sort of thing …’

  ‘Oh. Okay. I’d need to give it some thought.’

  ‘Any help at all, no matter how insignificant you think it might be,’ Hannah prompted. ‘I guess it’s about getting Craig in front of the right people – networking in the right spaces.’

  ‘I’m going to an event next week that would be good for him to get along to. I can forward the details now I’ve got your email address.’

  ‘Thanks so much. Here’s one of his cards,’ Hannah said, fishing one of Craig’s out of her wallet. ‘He’s got some great contacts of his own, but …’