by Riley Storm
Turning on her heel, she fled for the perceived safety of the bathroom, locking the door behind her and taking three deep breaths, forcing calm through her trembling hands. Moving away from the door, she stood looking in the mirror, watching her chest rise and fall as she pushed the abrupt tension with Kasperi to the side.
Eventually, her eyes drifted upward as she got her breathing under control, until her gaze landed on the collar. Always the collar. Even when looking at herself, it was the first thing Amber noticed. It felt out of place. Heavy, a weight upon her that she was forced to carry. Her mind was getting a reprieve, but the rest of her was barely weathering the storm.
That would all change in a short time. The collar would come off, and with it the yawning onyx abyss. She would stand on the edge and shout her denial as loudly as she could, but would it be enough? Was she strong enough?
What if Kasperi is wrong to trust me? What if I fail?
It amazed her that he didn’t have doubts, that he seemed so confident in her ability to master this strange power, that he could be so calm around her. Was her acting better than she thought? Did he not realize the darkness was so prevalent in her?
Amber knew better. She’d felt its call, the tempting lure of its lullaby. It would be so easy to give in. The power would come easier, faster, stronger. She would no longer have to fear anyone.
Except myself.
No, the darkness was definitely there. And it was growing.
16
They were both nervous, but for wildly different reasons.
His were simple, and purely ego related. The sole goal for today was to not get slammed around the practice room by Amber a second time. Build a defense, live within it. That was all he wanted to do. Even if he failed, he wasn’t worried about the consequences. He would get up, heal, and move on.
It was Amber that had a lot riding on the day. Kasperi was nervous for himself, but he was worried about her. There was a new stress on her face, one that hadn’t been there when she’d gone to shower. It bothered him to see her like that, the visible worry and near outright terror.
Most probably wouldn’t see it, but after spending so much time with her over the past few days, Kasperi was learning to read her better, to understand the subtle differences not just in her eyes, but the rest of her face and body language. It made it easy to see how even just then, she was struggling to stop herself from trembling.
The Magi was there. He would monitor the entire thing, as usual, and ensure that any magic unleashed by either party didn’t get out of control, and also wasn’t killing strength. Other than that, however, he’d declared there to be no rules.
Why are we fighting each other?
It was a question that had long lingered in the back of his mind, that he’d never asked, because he didn’t want Amber to have yet another worry on her mind. It made no sense, but the Magi was adamant about it. Was he trying to drive a wedge between them? If so, it wasn’t going to work, that was for sure. Kasperi wouldn’t let it.
“I still don’t feel any magic,” he muttered as the Magi went over to Amber to undo the collar.
She shook him off. “I can do it. I’m not incompetent.”
Kasperi covered a smile, watching while she reached up and undid the clasp but didn’t remove it.
“How am I supposed to defend this, when I can’t use magic?” he growled a little louder. “Can I have an artifact please?”
“You must learn to pull the magic from yourself,” the Magi snapped. “Stop relying on crutches.”
“What magic?” he snapped. “I feel it in the artifacts, I can make it do what I want. It doesn’t come from within me. What the hell makes you figure I have it?”
The Magi rolled his eyes. “Do you question how a farmer knows when it’s harvest time? Or when a fishermen says a storm is coming? People know these things, Kasperi. As I know you possess magic in you. You just need to find it. To feel it. Did my readings teach you nothing?”
“Of course, they taught me nothing! It’s a book. A book can’t tell me how to conjure magic when it’s not there. It always speaks about reaching into yourself, feeling the power at your center as it flickers like a flame in the wind, begging to be forged and worked.” His voice dripped with sarcasm as he recanted one of the standard phrases used over and over in every book. “It doesn’t say what to do when there is no power there!”
His frustrations were reaching a boiling point, and he felt ready to snap. Kasperi had done every reading he’d been assigned. Not because he wanted to, but because he thought by doing so it would set a good example for Amber, that she would do the same, and keep focused, if he pretended to believe there was magic within.
“Find it,” the Magi hissed, and pulled the collar from around Amber’s neck. “And soon!” he finished with a cackle, stepping back, out of the line of fire.
Kasperi barely had time to get set before a torrent of energy rushed at him, a horizontal tornado that picked him up and deposited him against the far wall. It felt like getting hit by a speeding car—something Kasperi had experienced—and it left him stunned and out of breath, his vision flickering with bright stars.
Shaking his head gently, he cleared his vision, only to realize the tornado hadn’t stopped. It was getting bigger.
Adrenaline surged through his system, purging him of his sluggish mind and body. Kasperi shot to his feet, looking at Amber. Her eyes had filled with fire, and her fingers curved in tortured patterns in front of her as she screamed silently, the roar of the power stealing her voice.
Out of control, the vortex homed in on the Magi, curling away from Kasperi and right at the older shifter. He moved his hands in a complex patter, and a green void opened in front of him and swallowed the power whole, seemingly sucking it right out of Amber. She jerked once, then fell to one knee, gasping for breath.
Kasperi took off across the practice room, terrified for his mate. After wearing the collar for so long, the magic was no longer held at bay, and it wanted out. He needed to calm her, to get her under control.
Coming closer, he started to sink onto one knee as well, but before he could, a torrent of power erupted from Amber and backhanded him into the wall, changing his course by ninety degrees in an instant.
“Amber!” he shouted mid-air, trying to get through to her as the fire returned, stronger than ever in her eyes, blocking the olive green and replacing it with bright red. “Amber, you must control it!”
But she wasn’t listening. Or couldn’t listen.
“Close it off, Amber,” the Magi commanded, his voice unnaturally strong as it rose above the howl of power. “Imagine a wall in your mind. Build it strong and high. Build it now. You are the master of the power, not it. Don’t let its temptations suck you in.”
Kasperi got to his feet, ignoring the pain shooting through his body, figuring at least one rib was broken, possibly other injuries. None of that mattered now. Not a single bit of his attention was on himself. Instead, it was all upon his mate as she fought a battle only she could fight.
He was powerless to help her. A bystander, nothing less.
“Kasperi, look out.”
The warning from the Magi alerted him to the magic as it curled back around toward him, the yawning vortex spinning wildly, increasing with speed every passing second. It would tear him to shreds if he got hit again.
Working on instinct and little more, Kasperi dove to the side, avoiding the worst of the wind and power. Coming up out of his roll, he reached the center of the room and snatched up the first artifact he could get his hands on. It was a staff. Not his weapon of choice, but it would do.
Instantly, the magic flowed, under his control. Weaving a pattern in front of him, Kasperi built a protective shield around himself. The sheer force behind her impact drove him backward to one knee, but the barrier held. Through it, he saw the Magi take out the collar and attempt to close on Amber.
Sensing the impending attack, the magic reoriented itself and drove strai
ght into his midsection, moving faster than Korred could counter. The collar fell to the ground near Amber.
“It thinks we’re attacking her!” Kasperi shouted.
“You think I haven’t realized that?” the Magi snapped, getting to his feet. “It’s wild. Reckless. Nearly uncontrollable.”
Thinking furiously, he watched the power build between her fingers, readying itself for another surge. Kasperi wasn’t sure how many more of those Amber’s mind could take. He had to stop it, and stop it now.
“Get out!” he shouted suddenly, an idea coming to him.
“What?”
“Just go!” Kasperi didn’t have time to elaborate. “Trust me!”
Right now, Amber was trying to fend off two targets. That meant twice the surges of magic through her. If it was just him, maybe he could convince her to stop. To let it go.
The Magi looked at him like he was insane, but then shrugged. “Very well.” A rift opened behind him, and he was gone.
Amber’s empty red-lit eyes focused on Kasperi the instant the rip in reality closed. With only one target in sight, the magic didn’t need to split its focus anymore. It could launch entirely at Kasperi.
And launch it did. A wave of red came at him. He poured energy into his shield, then slammed it apart, taking her concerted wave with it. Then he slashed, darted, spun and attacked, twisting and weaving as if fighting with a sword. It was unorthodox, and not a normal pattern for any magic user to interpret.
The power within Amber was caught unprepared, and without any counter. He slapped aside repeated attacks, broke up others, and blocked more with his shield of energy. Each movement brought him a little closer to her, and to the collar that lay a body length behind her.
That was his true goal, but to get there, he was going to have to try something drastic. Something else unexpected. Hopefully, Amber would forgive him, because it would be breaking a barrier that they hadn’t approached yet. Still, it would work.
It has to work.
Their duel raged on, but Kasperi was winning. The attacks grew more frequent, more desperate, but he didn’t let up. He came on strong and hard, right up the center.
“Amber,” he called, able now to see deep into her eyes, past the fire, to the terror of the woman locked in combat with herself.
His original plan went out the window. He couldn’t follow through with it. It wouldn’t work, not without creating all sorts of mistrust between them. The magic would never be calm near him again.
So he went with Plan B.
Red energy seared against his shield as he closed to within a foot of her, the space between them so bright, it hurt to look at directly.
“Hi,” he said as casually as possible, despite the raging ball of energy six inches in diameter that threatened to kill them both. “How are you today, Amber?”
She didn’t reply, but the fires in her eyes grew brighter, and Kasperi realized she was about to try something else.
He didn’t let her. Before she could react, he leaned in and kissed her, hard.
17
Kasperi’s mouth was like the cooling salve to a burn.
The magic was extinguished, snuffed out as if the light switch had been turned off. The pressure between them evaporated, and they both let out a yelp as they fell to the ground, Kasperi still on top of her. His hand caught her and slowed the fall, but it couldn’t stop it. A second later, they were down, the magic still gone. That was when he kissed her a second time. This one was much longer.
Amber woke up then, all her senses returning in a wave. She tried to push him off, terrified of what she’d just done, but Kasperi didn’t move. He kept kissing her. She trembled under him, her hand going from pushing on his chest, to gripping his shirt and pulling him tight to her.
His lips grew with warmth until they seared against hers, forcing her mouth open. Squirming slightly underneath him, she played her tongue against his, no longer needing to escape, to be free. Here, now, was where she wanted to be.
Kasperi moved one arm, and a moment later the collar clicked around her neck.
“I can stop now,” he said, pulling back slightly, breaking contact.
She heard a pop off to her left, the Magi returning. Kasperi turned his head, and she felt his arm move. A second later, another pop as the pressure in the room returned to normal. He was gone.
Their eyes met, and then Kasperi kissed her once more, but the moment was gone, and they both realized it. He stopped, pulling back but still not moving from atop her.
“You kissed me,” she stated. “Why?”
“It seemed like a good idea at the time?”
“Not the time for joking, Kasperi,” she said, partially serious.
“Right. Well, I felt that you needed to be shocked back to reality, to bring you back. Truthfully, I’m not big on hitting women.”
“Normally, I might agree with you,” she muttered. “But it’s not like I was exactly defenseless just then.”
Kasperi smiled, shifting slightly. The movement helped her growing awareness of the fact that he was pressed against her, his body smothering hers, but not squishing her. She could feel his muscles, the pressure from them against her. He was so big, in a way she’d never realized before. They’d become close, but this was…different. More intimate, and she saw how far out to the sides his shoulders went, and the fact that her feet only came to the middle of his leg. It was imposing, and yet she felt safe within her little Kasperi-cocoon. Nothing could hurt her there.
“Maybe you weren’t defenseless, but I still didn’t want to hit you.”
“But why kiss me?”
Kasperi looked away, not providing her with a clear justification for that either. He started to move aside, to get off her. Reaching out, she grabbed hold of his shirt again, stopping him.
“Not yet. I…I feel safer.”
He nodded and she sank back into the mat, eyes closed.
She was silent for a minute, focusing on banishing the terror of what had happened, trying not to relive it, though the nightmares would haunt her for days. “Thank you, by the way.”
“You’re welcome.” He still didn’t move, except to bring his arm up and stroke the side of her head in slow, soothing motions.
That was when the barrier inside her broke.
“They were right,” she sobbed, fearful tears welling up in her eyes.
“Hey. Hey, hey, hey,” he whispered. “There’s no need for that.”
“You don’t understand,” she said, overriding his protests. “You don’t get it, Kasperi.”
“Help me,” he said gently, still stroking her head. “Let me in a little. Help me understand.”
“They were right about me,” she said, her voice choked up and thick with emotion. “The things they said, that they accused me of.”
Kasperi growled angrily. “No, they weren’t. I don’t see a maniac, a killer. I see someone working her ass off to learn how to control what she has, and getting frustrated that she didn’t get it the first time around. She’s a bit of a perfectionist I do believe.”
“I liked it,” she snapped back, eyes open wide, staring right at him, gauging his reaction to her words. “Don’t you see? The power? When I struck at you, at Korred. I liked it, Kasperi. It felt good. I wanted more.”
“That’s the magic speaking. Not you.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “That was me. Amber Ferlund. I enjoyed it. I’ve always been short. Felt smaller, less powerful than everyone around me. No matter how angry I got, I had to hold it in, because I couldn’t do anything about it. Now I can. And I want to.”
“I refuse to believe that,” Kasperi said. “You’re just letting what the others said influence you. This is not your fault.”
She recoiled at the anger and venom in his voice.
“You’re being told to use something inside you. To use it without any instructions other than to read old books,” he spat. “If this is anyone’s fault, it’s Korred’s for just toss
ing you into the ring like this and inviting you to cut loose. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine, for going along with it. You’re being kept here against your will. This is not your fault, Amber. Get that through your head right now.”
“Umm, okay,” she said, slightly unsure of what else to say, and yet touched by his unflinching belief in her.
Could he be right? Was what she was experiencing a product of her situation, and not her own inner demon? It seemed unlikely, impossible, even. After all, the darkness hadn’t suddenly manifested with the appearance of Kasperi and the Asps in the forest that day. It had been with her ever since she’d nearly burnt down the first restaurant when a customer had yelled at her for no reason other than that she took too long to get to their table.
“It’s perfectly natural to have thoughts about striking out,” Kasperi said, sitting back onto his haunches and helping her into a seated position.
“What do you mean?” she asked, slightly uneasy at his apparent ability to read her mind.
“I can see it on your face. The fear that you’re a bad person, for wishing ill on others.” He laughed. Loud. Biting. Humbling. “We all have those thoughts. Everyone wonders what they would do with power over those around them. People used to being stepped on, snapped at, or bossed around, they dream about being above the others. Getting to a point where their power means they’re no longer someone’s underling.”
“They do?”
Kasperi smiled. “Absolutely. Do you think I didn’t wish to have the power to take on everyone who looked at you wrong when I first brought you here? If I could have imposed my physical will on all of them, who knows what might have happened? The difference is, I know the power I have,” he explained, gripping an imaginary sword in his hand. “My blades, I’ve trained with them since I was a child. They’re a part of me. I know what they can do, how they can do it, and I know when to use them, and when not to use them. I’ve been taught to control it.”
Amber listened intently as he spoke, watching the way his eyes shone as he gave his impassioned speech. She was enraptured, not just by what he was saying, but by him. By Kasperi himself. He was…impressive.
