Just Another Maniac Monday

by Jennie Marts

  Johnny shifted into gear, and they flew down the road, the wind quickly drying her sweat-dampened hair. Edna laughed into the wind, thinking she had never had a summer as great as this one.

  “Are you okay if we swing by my place?” Johnny yelled the question into the air behind him. “I just got off work and need to grab my swim trunks.”

  “Sure,” she yelled back, secretly thrilled that she would finally get to see where he lived.

  She knew the area of town, but in the weeks they had been dating, he had never offered to have her over. He had always come out to the farm or met her in town. It felt like a milestone that he was letting her into this part of his life and allowing her to see the home he shared with his father.

  They pulled up in front of a small, nondescript house. The faded paint, which looked as if it used to be yellow, was now as beige as the dead grass in the small patch of lawn in front of the house. The only green visible in the yard was on the leaves of a few scattered dandelions.

  Johnny held her hand as he helped her off the back of the bike. “My dad’s at work,” he said, indicating the empty driveway leading up to the house.

  He led her inside and waved a hand around the small living area. The kitchen was visible through a wide doorway, the sink full of dirty dishes. “Home sweet home.”

  She glanced around, noting the sagging brown sofa and the faded blue recliner. A small television sat on a cinder-block shelf, tin foil wrapped tightly around its rabbit-ear antennae. The house smelled vaguely of bacon grease and motor oil. A small grease-covered engine surrounded by loose parts covered the Formica-topped kitchen table. “It’s nice.”

  Johnny laughed, a dry huff of breath. “No, it’s not. But you’re nice for saying so.”

  A short hallway held three sets of doors, and Johnny led her to the farthest one. They passed a tiny bathroom, and Edna assumed the other closed door belonged to Johnny’s father.

  Johnny opened the door and ushered her into his bedroom. It was sparsely decorated, with only a bed, a dresser, and a small nightstand. But the room was tidy, and the bed was neatly made. The floor seemed to have been recently vacuumed, with the room smelling of laundry detergent and Johnny’s cologne.

  The one window in the room stood wide open, and Johnny turned on the small fan resting in its sill. “Sorry, it’s so hot in here. I wasn’t exactly expecting company.”

  Edna raised an eyebrow. “Oh? You always keep your room this neat?”

  Johnny looked around the room as if assessing it from her eyes. “I guess. It’s the only part of the house that’s completely mine. Nobody else really comes in here, except the guys every once in a while. It’s the one place in my life that I can keep in order.”

  He plopped down on the bed while she wandered around his room, touching his things, soaking up this new side of him. She ran her hands along the few shirts hanging in his closet, fingering the fabric of a red plaid button-up. “I like this one.”

  “Thanks. It’s a hand-me-down from Frank.” He gestured to his closet. “Most of my clothes are. He started doing it when we were little kids and has never stopped. We’d be at his house, and he’d hand me a shirt that was practically new and say it didn’t fit him anymore and that I could have it. He was so easy going about it that I never realized it was charity. It just seemed like a guy giving me a shirt he didn’t wear anymore.”

  Edna smiled. “Aren’t you both about the same size?”

  “Yeah. So I eventually figured it out. And by then, I realized it was mostly Frank’s mom. She knew my size, and when she bought jeans or shirts for Frank, she would always grab an extra set for me. He would rip off the tags and pass them off like they weren’t his style or that his mom was annoying for buying so many clothes that he didn’t need. I would wear a shirt around his mom, and she would look pleased and tell me it looked nice. It made her so happy, and it was just easier to take the clothes than to hurt her feelings.”

  “She seems like a really nice lady.”

  “She’s the best, actually. She’s always treated me like one of her own kids. I can’t tell you how many meals she fed me then sent the leftovers home to feed my dad. She’s the closest thing I’ve had to a mom since my own mother took off.”

  Edna could sense the bitterness in his voice when he spoke of his mother’s desertion. “How old were you when she left?”

  “I don’t know. Eight or nine.”

  The tone of his voice told her he knew exactly how old he had been when his mother left. “Were you close? I mean before she left?”

  “I guess not close enough.” He gave a bitter laugh followed by a sigh. “I thought so. She used to read to me every night. And she used to sing. All the time. She loved to sing anything, songs from the radio or church hymns. It didn’t matter. Sometimes, in my mind, I can’t exactly picture her face, but I can remember the way she sounded when she was singing.”

  He smiled. A sad smile. “I can also remember her crying. She cried a lot. She didn’t sing as much when she was having one of her sad spells. Then right before she left, she seemed to get real happy again. Cleaning house and dancing to the radio. She must have been planning to leave and that made her happy again.”

  “Do you have a picture of her?”

  He nodded.

  “Would you be okay showing it to me?”

  “Geez, Eddy. I’ve been basically pouring my heart out to you for the last half-hour. I think I’ve told you every sad-sack detail of my life. It’s not gonna embarrass me now to show you her picture.”

  She shrugged. “I was just trying to be polite.”

  “Polite is the last thing you need to be with me.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “I mean it. I love you just for you, and I always want you to be yourself with me. And I’ll try to do the same with you. My dad said he never knew what my mom was thinking. I don’t want that. I want something real where you can just be yourself around me. No fakey niceness. If you feel nice, just be nice. If I make you angry, tell me you’re mad and we’ll figure it out.” He winked at her. “Then I’ll kiss you and make you forget why you were ever angry.”

  Wow. Did she ever love this man. Never in her life had anyone told her to just be her. She always felt like she was expected to act a certain way. Be obedient. Be a good daughter. Listen to your elders. Do as you’re told. Johnny had just given her permission to completely be herself and her heart soared with love for him. “Got it. But I can’t imagine ever being mad at you.”

  “Oh, you will be. I plan to spend my whole life with you and sometimes I can be a total bonehead.”

  He just said he planned to spend his whole life with her. Happy butterflies soared and dipped inside her stomach. She grinned. “Maybe I’ll just act mad so I can get you to do some of that anger-erasing kissing you were talking about.”

  He popped up from the bed and grabbed her around the waist, hugging her to him and planting a noisy kiss on her neck.

  She giggled and feigned weakness. “Why Johnny, I can’t even remember why I was mad at you.”

  “I told you.” He laughed then opened the top drawer of the dresser. He pulled out a small picture frame and a gold brooch in the shape of a peacock, its feathers studded with colorful glass jewels.

  His mood shifted from fun to sadness as he handed Edna the frame. “This is pretty much all I have left of my mom. She used to wear this pin all the time, and I loved to play with it. I liked the way the jewels caught the light and made rainbows on the wall. She left this pin and a note on my dresser the day she left. The note said she would always love me.” His bitter tone was back. “Just not enough to stay.”

  Edna looked at the picture in her hand. It was of a pretty blonde woman holding the hand of a little boy, his light blond hair a match to hers. She was looking down at him, and they were laughing. “She’s beautiful.”

  “Yeah. She was.” He took the picture from her and put it and the peacock pin back into the dresser and shut the drawer. He turned to her, taking her into his ar
ms. “I think you’re beautiful.”

  “You make me feel beautiful.” She rested her hand on his chest, feeling the outline of his muscle through his white shirt. “And I’m not going anywhere. I will stay with you as long as you will have me.”

  “How about your whole life?” He leaned down and nuzzled her ear. “I mean it, Eddy. I’ve never felt like this with anyone. I never talk about my mom or the way that Franky’s family helped me. But with you, my mouth just opens, and my entire soul pours out.”

  “I like that you talk to me. It makes this more real.”

  “This is real. And this is my real life. I want you to know what you’re getting yourself into. I want you to see all of me, all of my scars. No surprises. I want you to make the decision to be with me with your eyes open.”

  Edna took his face in her hands, looking deeply in his eyes. “My eyes are open. Wide open. And all I see is the man I love. And I do love you, Johnny Collins. Just for you. Nothing you can tell me or show me is going to change that.”

  His face seemed to hold a mixture of hope and fear. “Are you sure? You understand that I want a life with you? Like I want to get married to you and grow old with you.”

  She smiled. “Yes, I understand. And if that was a proposal, my answer is yes. I am not ever letting you go, Johnny. I want to fall asleep every night in your arms and wake up to your smile every morning. I want to make babies with you that have your blonde hair and your beautiful blue eyes.”

  He leaned down and kissed her, his lips soft against hers, but his arms wrapped tightly around her. He drew back and rested his forehead against hers. “That was a proposal. An awkward one, but still a proposal. I’ll do it again, and better, when I actually have a ring.”

  “It was perfect.” She brushed the hair from his forehead. “You think you’re scarred. But what about me? Are you sure you want me? I’m practically a spinster, I’m not going to get any taller, and I have tiny breasts. I’m just discovering myself and figuring out that I don’t think like other girls. I don’t want the same things that they do. Staying home and cooking meals and having babies isn’t enough for me. I want to go to college. To learn and absorb knowledge. To experience life.”

  “Do it. Go to college. We can live anywhere you want. I’m a mechanic. I can always find work. You can go to school during the day while I work and then you can come home and tell me everything that you learned. I want you to be whatever you want to be. I want you to have those experiences. I just want to go along for the ride. To experience life with you.”

  She touched his cheek. “It wouldn’t be a life without you in it.”

  “Then let’s do it. Apply for some colleges in the fall. It will take me about ten minutes to pack, and we can go anywhere you want.”

  Anywhere she wanted. A few weeks ago, she couldn’t imagine leaving Colorado, and now every dream she imagined was coming true. She was in love. With not just any boy, but a crazy-handsome boy who loved her back and wanted a life with her. A life where she could go to school and be accepted for who she wanted to be. She was over the moon with happiness. “Yes.”

  “Yes, you will marry me or yes, you want to apply for some colleges in the fall?”

  “Yes to everything!” She threw her arms around him and kissed him with abandon. Conveying every feeling in her heart through her lips. She loved him, and she desired him. Oh, how she desired him.

  He pulled back, his breathing ragged. “Do you think we should head out to the lake? Those guys will probably be waiting.”

  “Let them wait.” She grinned up at him, feeling alive and complete in his arms. He wanted to know the real her? To know what she was really thinking? Well, here goes. “I’d rather stay here and get naked with you.”

  His eyes widened in surprise, then he let out a loud laugh. “I think that’s a great idea.” He grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head, leaving her standing in only a pair of shorts and her pink swimsuit top.

  She wiggled her eyebrows and reached for his t-shirt. He leaned down and let her tug it over his head. She gasped as she saw the fresh purple bruise across his shoulder. Her feelings of desire changed to a fierce protectiveness, the emotion evident in her voice. “Johnny. Oh my gosh.”

  He brushed her hands away. “It’s okay. It’s no big deal.”

  “It is a big deal. He’s hurting you. Why do you let him do this? You’re strong. I know you could stop him. You’re a man. You don’t have to take this anymore.” Her voice choked with tears.

  Johnny smiled down at her, tears welling in his own eyes. “Don’t you see, Eddy? I am a man, and that’s why I take it. I love my dad and somehow this is what makes him feel like a man. Even for a little bit. I can take a punch. It’s no big deal. He’s usually sorry afterwards, and then he gives me a hug and offers me a beer.” He looked down at his chest, wiping at the bruise as if he could brush it away. “This is nothing if it gets me time spent with my dad and he seems okay for a while.”

  Edna’s heart swelled with love for the poor, broken little boy inside of the man who stood before her. She wanted to take him in her arms. Take him away from this life where he suffered pain to receive love. Where he sacrificed his pride to build up another’s. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault. It is what it is.” He took her chin in his hand and tilted her face up to his. “I want you to know these things about me. I want you to know me. To know what you’re getting yourself into. But I also want you to know that I would never lay a hand on you. Just because it happens to me doesn’t mean I will do it to you, or anyone else. I hate violence.”

  “Really? But you seem so—” She shrugged, looking for the right word. “So dangerous, I guess.”

  He smirked. “It’s all an act. People expect me to be like that, and if I act really tough, no one messes with me. Or with Frank, or Weasel. I can fight, if I have to. But usually I just give them the look and they back off.” He narrowed his eyes and sneered at her. “That’s my mean look.”

  “Yes, I see what you mean.” She giggled. What was it about this boy that had her constantly giggling? She felt like she hadn’t had anything to even mildly laugh at in the past few years, then she got around Johnny and seemed to always be giggling like a schoolgirl. Must be love.

  His eyes went from the mean look to an amused one. “Are you telling me my mean look has no power over you? You Colorado girls are tough.” He reached down, swept his arm under her knees and lifted her, cradling her against him.

  Carrying her to the small twin bed in the corner of the room, he set her on the mattress and climbed onto the bed, leaning over her. He dropped his head to her neck and laid a trail of small kisses up to her ear. His voice was low in her ear, sexy and teasing. “I guess I’ll have to find a different way to show you how dangerous I am.”

  She pushed back and looked up at him, a feeling of fear quickening her pulse. “You are dangerous, Johnny. I believe that you would never physically harm me, but you do have the power to hurt me. You’re holding my heart in your hands and Johnny, it’s so fragile. You could break it so easily.” She gripped his arms, pleading to him with her eyes. “Please don’t hurt me. Don’t break my heart, Johnny.”

  “Your heart is safe with me, Eddy.” He lay down next to her, pulling her body in close to his. Holding her chin in his hand, he gazed at her, and she could feel the love in his eyes. “I love you. With everything in me. I won’t hurt you. I would die for you.”

  She gasped. “Oh, Johnny. I don’t want you to die. For me or for anyone. I want you to live, with me, forever.”

  “I know. I’m not saying I’m going to die. I just don’t know how else to explain how much I love you. I’ve never felt something so huge in all of my life. I don’t know any other way to say it. You are mine now, and I take care of what’s mine. I would do anything to protect you. To keep you from harm. Even if it hurt me. Anything.”

  She was overcome with the emotion in his voice, and her heart ached with
love as she watched a lone tear roll down the side of his cheek. She rolled over on top of him, her arms on either side of his head. Bending forward, she kissed away the tear. “I am yours. Everything in me and all of who I am belongs to you. Forever. I promise I will never love another man as much or as deeply as I love you.”

  She sat up, never taking her eyes from his. Reaching behind her neck, she pulled the halter straps of her two-piece and let the top of her swimsuit fall. Her shoulders hunched forward: she felt suddenly modest at her small chest.

  “Don’t,” he said. “You don’t have to be shy with me. I love you, and I love that you say what you think. I want you to be proud of yourself. Always.”

  She pushed her shoulders back, his words giving her the power to be bold. She took a shuddering breath as he reached behind her and slowly unclasped the lower straps, allowing the swimsuit top to drop to the floor.

  He looked up at her, straddling him and hunger displayed in his eyes. “And just so you know, I think your breasts are perfect.”

  She grinned, feeling the truth of his words rising underneath her. She moved against him. Slowly rocking her hips forward and back, the denim of his jeans rough against her bare legs, her shorts the only thing she still wore. She felt him at the core of her body, the center of her womanhood, as she continued to move against him.

  His eyes closed, and a groan escaped his lips. Her confidence soared and she leaned forward, sliding her body against his naked chest. His hands moved up, grasping her waist and holding her hips firmly against his.

  She kissed him then, no holds barred. Kissed him with a ferocity she didn’t know was inside of her. The touch of his bare chest against hers was like fire igniting between them. Her hips moved against his, inciting a hunger in Johnny, evident by the way his hands gripped her back and the crush of his lips on hers.

  She pushed back, still straddling him, and watched his face as she rode him, slowly moving back and forth as waves crash on the shore of the ocean. Knowing her hair was wild around her shoulders, she reveled in the look of desire and need on his face. Passion flared in his eyes, and he groaned with want as she slid across his manhood.