The Last Time

by Sharon Haste

  'What happened?' Sam asks.

  'Danny and I had a fight.'

  'Danny?'

  'He's my boyfriend, was my boyfriend.' She drops her head. 'He was drunk and in a foul mood. So, I needed to get away. I didn't plan to go to the lake; that's just where I ended up.'

  She pauses, glancing from Jael to Saffron and then back at the table.

  'It was weird. When I got to the top of the hill, there was a car parked on it. I know you're not supposed to drive on the grass, so I was pissed off that some rich bastard thought he had the right.'

  'What kind of car?'

  'The fancy kind. A silver one. It was quiet when I got there, so I just sat and watched it for a bit. Thought someone would come back and drive it off, but nobody came.' She stops, looks over at Jael, and then looks back at the table. 'I got up, checked it out, and tried the door; I thought it'd be locked, but it was open. There was a girl behind the wheel. Gave me a heart attack, at first. But then I realised she was out of it. Thought she must've had too much to drink or taken something. I gave her a poke, and she didn't move. She was sweating real bad, so I thought I'd better wind the window down and give her some air, you know? It was one of those fancy cars with electric windows, so I had to turn the key to open it.'

  'So the key was in the ignition?' Sam asks.

  'Yeah, it was just sitting there. I just got the window down, and the car started rolling. I didn't do anything; the engine wasn't even on. I didn't know what else to do, so I slammed the door and ran.' Her eyes are wide and pleading. 'I heard splashing from the car park, so I thought she must've made it. I didn't know there was anyone else in the car, I swear.'

  She was looking between Jael and Sam, her eyes swimming with sudden tears.

  'Then the weirdest thing happened,' she says. 'One minute, I'm running for me life, and the next thing I know, this guy tackles me. I was shit scared; I thought he was going to rape me or something, but he pins me down and starts going on about the car, asking me all sorts of shit. Then this other guy comes over, and he lets me go; they just run off into the night.'

  Jael smiles to himself, remembering the night.

  'That's strange,' Sam says, suppressing a grin. 'What did you do next?'

  'I ran home. Never said nuthin' about it to anyone, not even Danny.' She looks from Sam to Jael. 'I didn't do anything. It just rolled in by itself. If I could take it back, I would. Please don't lock me up again. I hate that place. I just hate it.'

  Sam's gut clenches when she realises Pedro Romero did this. Even though he wasn't there when it happened, he knew what he was doing when he left the car on the hill. All Charli had to do was lean forward, and the car was going to roll into the water. All that crap about it not being a man's work was so he could have a head start, and she believed him. She feels so stupid. Now she has to tell Mal about him, too. This will not go well. What bothers Sam the most is he set it up so Charli would take the rap by putting her in the driver's seat and planting the drugs in her pocket. What better way to hurt his brother than to kill his wife and son and ruin his reputation by letting his daughter go down for murder?

  'Sam?' Jael asks.

  'We have to submit this recording as evidence, Saffron. As it stands now, they think Charli did it. You will be charged for leaving the scene, but if you tell them what you've told us, I don't think you'll go to prison. We know how they got to the lake, so you won't go down for that.'

  'I don't wanna go back to DJ. I hate that place.'

  'You have to go through the process, Saffron, and I can't say they won't put you into DJ tonight, but I hope it won't be for long. I can't make any promises, though; two people are dead. They need to check out your story.'

  Jael puts a hand on her shoulder. 'It's the right thing, Saffie.'

  Chapter Thirty-six

  Charli listens to Sam tell Saffron's story without joy or celebration. Sam's not prepared for her flat reaction.

  'I thought you'd be pleased,' she says. 'It means you'll be off the hook soon.'

  'I'm sorry,' Charli says. 'I'm happy. I'm just worried what's going to happen to her; she's had such a tough life. And in the end, none of this brings them back to me, does it?'

  'No, it doesn't bring them back,' Sam says. 'It was never going to. Kids like Saffron are everywhere, Charli. They are victims of circumstance, but it doesn't need to define them for life. Some kids in Saffron's position have good lives in the end. She just has to make that choice.'

  'Can we help her?'

  'She's done the right thing by telling us what she knows and that'll work in her favour. Most of it isn't her fault, so the judge will take that into consideration. Trouble is, we don't have Pedro's story to verify his involvement. Just my word for it.'

  'Won't that be enough to go after him?'

  'Yes, but until we catch him and get a confession, we have very little to support her story.'

  'Has she got a lawyer?' Charli asks. 'Maybe I can get Mr Attenborough to defend her. That should help. He's very good.'

  'Well, it can't hurt,' Sam says. 'Otherwise, she'll be allocated one from legal aide. Do you think he'll agree to defend her?'

  'If I ask him to, he will,' Charli says.

  'What about your dad?'

  'He'll hate the idea. Can't see him agreeing, but I've got to try.'

  Sam looks thoughtful and is quiet for a time. 'I have something that might help; let me talk to him,' she says.

  'Anything I should know about?'

  'In time. I have to talk to Thomas first.'

  Charli is curious, but she doesn't pursue it. As long as it helps Saffron's cause, she's happy not to know.

  'When do you think we can go back and try to save Mum and Ash again? I think we have a better chance of reviving Ash if you come. You do know how to do CPR, don't you?'

  'Of course.' Sam pauses; her face is solemn.

  'Is something wrong?'

  'There's something I need to tell you.' Sam's eyes are intense. 'This is going to be hard for you.' She pauses, swallowing hard. 'I saw the autopsy reports when I went to work to find Saffron's address.'

  'Whose reports?'

  'The ones for your mum and Ash.'

  'What did they say?'

  'They said that your mum drowned in the lake.'

  'We already know that; they both drowned.'

  'Ash didn't drown.'

  'What do you mean? You were there; you saw him go in. I've seen him go in time after time.'

  She puts a hand on Charli's arm. 'Charli, Ash didn't drown because he already died before he went into the water. He didn't have a chance.'

  'What are you talking about? If he didn't drown, what did he die from?'

  'He died from the drug he was given before he went into the lake. He died from an overdose of Rohypnol.'

  The words take time to sink in.

  'There's no way you can save your brother unless you can go back to before he was given the drug.'

  Charli's colour drains as she thinks about all the time she's spent resuscitating Ash and the lack of response each time. Deep down she knew something was wrong; she could never understand it.

  'Charli?'

  The tears are silent, sliding down her cheeks one after the other. Her chest aches with a pressure that she's squashed down since that night. There is a tension she's held at bay with the belief that Ash would come back to her. It crushes her now, shattering her denial and leaving her with an empty hole so big that she doesn't know what to do. Ash is gone and never coming back. She will never again feel him against her, breathe in his smell, and taste his skin. She will never share silly jokes, play crazy games, or kiss his head when he is peacefully asleep. She panics, thinking of the funeral, where she never said goodbye. Sam's hand is warm on her shoulder. The rest of the world fades away as she focuses on that hand to keep herself from falling into the darkness.

  'Are you okay?' Sam's voice is distant. Charli nods and then shakes her head; the words are stuck in her throat. 'Do you want to sit
?'

  Charli stares at her, tears blurring her image, before shaking her head and stumbling toward the sliding door. She needs air. On trembling legs, she makes it to the veranda and leans against the rail, eyes looking at the street beyond the building.

  Sam stays inside, knowing Charli needs this time alone. Clouds darken the day, thunder rolls across the sky, and flashes of lightning illuminate the street below. Her tears flow as the first fat drops of rain begin to fall. The wind whips the rain sideways, and it soaks into her skin and clothes, but she's unaware; her thoughts are only of Ash. Then she lets him go. Her body racks with heaving sobs, her love a raw and gripping need inside her. She doubles over, arms hugging her torso. Her knees bend until she finds the pavers. And through her pain, she remembers him: flashes of his cheeky smile, the softness of his baby skin, his first words, and his first steps. His life swims before her, a myriad of still images cut short by bitter circumstance. She thinks of her uncle then, hands forming tight fists and lips squeezed tight. What kind of man is he? How can he be family?

  Charli's not sure how much time passes before she goes back inside. She drips on the tiles, just inside the sliding door. Everyone stares at her, and Sam hurries to get her a towel. She offers her some dry clothes, and Charli follows her to the bedroom. When she returns, Tobi is munching on a sausage roll, crumbs gathering on the couch around him.

  'So, when do ya wanna do this last trip?' he asks, looking up.

  Charli's eyes move over him and rest on the coffee table for a minute. She slides to the couch beside Jael and surveys the people in the room, her mind going over the question. Then she leans forward.

  'I have a new plan.'

  Chapter Thirty-seven

  Charli's palms are moist as she links hands with Jael and Sam. She knows she's squeezing too tight but can't loosen her grip; she needs their strength for this final trip. She'd explained her plan to everyone, and given she couldn't take them all, they agreed Sam and Jael should go. While she's sure about her decision, now that it's time to go, her stomach clenches tight. She fixes her gaze on Tobi, who faces her, standing behind Jael and Sam, in the gap between their linked hands. His blue eyes hold hers and he nods to urge her on. She releases Sam's hand long enough to drop the pendant over her head; and grips it again as they disappear.

  They land beneath the spreading fig tree for the last time. The cicadas chirrup louder than before; the air is thick with jasmine. The moon, the stars, the still water; then the splash. Charli gasps and drops Jael's hand, in sudden panic. Jael and Sam hesitate, catching her eye to be sure; before they run down the bank. She hovers in the shadows of the fig; and rocks from foot to foot; her throat thick; and eyes on the water. Her other self spears through the surface; she pants, takes a breath and dives. At the same time Jael and Sam are swallowed by the lake.

  Charli grips the rough bark of the tree for support; and watches the moon's reflection dance back and forth on the dark water. She holds her breath; then Jael breaks the surface, her other self beside him. Her heart thuds and she's ready to abandon her plan. The world slows as Jael carries Ash from the water; his head lolls against his chest, chin tucked tight. He lays him tenderly on the grass; and sends the other Charli for help. She hares across the park and disappears into the night. Charl's eyes are on Ash as she descends the bank in slow deliberate steps. She kneels beside him, and lifts a trembling hand to lay upon his tiny chest. So still, my darling. Her words catch in her throat at the sight of his closed eyes and pale skin; and she forces them out; she wants no regrets.

  'I never told you how much I love you, Ash. I just assumed we'd have our whole lives to be together. I never thought this would be it. You are the best thing to happen to me; to us; our family. You were so loved by all of us for every second of your life; so never think anything less. You brought us so much fun and joy; I don't know how we lived before you came; or how Dad and I will live without you. You will always have my heart, Buddy; always.'

  She is suddenly aware of her mother's lifeless body behind her and she adjusts her position so she has a hand on each of them; kneeling in between. She stares at Clare's chest; hoping for the rise and fall that will end this nightmare; but it doesn't come. She swallows her tears; knowing their time is short.

  'Mum, I promised you in hospital I would fix this and this is the only way I know how. I'm doing this for you; so you don't have to die without dignity; it's not what you deserve; and I know you would hate it.' The vision of her beautiful, vibrant mother wasting away in a hospital bed, being cared for by strangers, is more than she can bear. This way Clare can be remembered as the amazing, vibrant and generous person that she is. 'I love you so much, Mum; you are so much more than a mother to me, you've always been my best friend; and a thousand times my favourite person in the world.' She starts to sob; unable to go on. 'I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I am so sorry I let you down.'

  The dog barks and she's shot with adrenaline; her arms grab them protectively; and she doesn't want to let go. 'No, not yet, it's too soon. I need more time. I need more time.'

  Jael tugs her shoulder and she releases her grip; and allows him to lift her up.

  'I love you,' she calls as she's led away.

  She walks on heavy legs away from her family; and her heart disintegrates into dust. Although she knows she is giving them the dignified death they deserve; she's crushed. From beneath the tree she sees them lying side by side; at peace; and she knows she's done the right thing for them.

  Chapter Thirty-eight

  Charli wakes to her alarm, groans, and flings an arm out to silence her phone. She tosses the sheet over her head and rolls over, the device continuing to vibrate until she's awake. A surge of adrenaline shoots through her when she realises what day it is: the second Saturday in December. Mum's favourite day. She throws herself out of bed and into a tepid shower, a smile warming her cheeks. The back door is already open when she goes downstairs. Two youths work in the back yard, bare chests glistening with sweat and muscles straining as they assemble the outdoor furniture. The lights and decorations hang above their heads, swaying in a hot breeze.

  The pool is filled with the rhythmic splash of someone doing laps. Charli watches while the red bathing cap glides through the clear water. She sits on a banana lounge and puts her feet up. As she reclines, she watches the swimmer absently, her mind drifting back to this night two years earlier. Ash would be seven now.

  Pedro Romero had disappeared without a trace; however, Edward Attenborough found an eyewitness that allowed Saffron to walk free. Charli feels her uncle near; she swears he's following her at times and often turns in a crowd to find the face of a startled stranger. She wonders if that's what it was like for her mum for all those years. The anger she feels for him has dissipated, not because she thinks any better of him, but because she knows she's just hurting herself and doesn't want to end up bitter.

  The day they went back to the tree is the last day she travelled back in time. She remembers it as if it were yesterday. Despite the pain and anguish she felt at the time, she knows she did the right thing; and she couldn't do anything else. She finds solace in knowing that wherever they were; her Mum and Ash are together. She couldn't bear the thought of Ash being alone; he was so small and vulnerable.

  Her dad's hand on her shoulder brings her back to the present. She wipes her stray tears, and he sits beside her.

  'Are you all right, honey?' he asks. 'We can always cancel if you think it's too soon.'

  'It's what she would have wanted, Dad. We have to honour her memory, and this is the perfect way to do it.'

  He smiles at her, and Charli can see the toll of the last two years on his face. He has never been the same, and she knows he still blames himself for not stopping Pedro. He's too protective because of it, visiting her all the time since she moved away for university. She never tells him he's suffocating her, though. All she does is tell him that he is loved and shows him whenever she can, never wanting to live with that kind of regret
again.

  The swimmer stops, and they both look up as Saffron shakes her hair free and heads towards them, dripping. Thomas hands her a towel, and she thanks him with a smile. Much to Charli's surprise, he invited Saffron to live with them after her trial, saying something about the judge only releasing her if she had a stable environment to live in. Charli never understood why, but she guessed it was his way of taking on some of what Clare once did to support the community. She always said 'charity starts at home.'

  Jael bounds through the back door, dripping with sweat and a parcel in his hand.

  'Man, this place is hot,' he says.

  'Jump in the pool and cool off,' Charli says, leaning up to kiss him. Never a day goes by when she doesn't feel her good fortune in meeting this man, despite the circumstances. Jael is living his dream of professional football and shares her life in Sydney. They have a cute, two-bedroom apartment with a harbour view.

  'Someone left this for you,' he says, thrusting the box towards her.

  She takes the plain brown box in her hands and notices the postmark.

  'Melbourne, must be from Aunt Elizabeth,' she says.

  Turning it over in her hands, she picks at the wrapping, thinking that her aunt has sent her a new Christmas decoration, in keeping with her mother's tradition. She tears the paper off the first box, revealing a smaller wooden box with an intricate carving, inside it.

  When she lifts the lid, the blood drains from her face and her eyes widen. The Inca cross, stares back at her. The last time she saw the necklace, it was sailing from her outstretched fingers into the turbid sea. Her mouth gapes open, and she's numb with shock. The same day she'd said goodbye to her family, she'd taken the cross down to the Delany cliffs and thrown it into the ocean, glad to be rid of it and hoping never to see it again. Yet here it is.

  Beneath the cross is something else. She lifts it with shaking hands and retrieves a knitted, yellow, baby bootie. She holds it up and lays it on her palm. She frowns. The card beneath it reads: 'Dearest Charli, I found the necklace in a market and thought you'd like it. Your mum got the same one in Seruso when she went to Chile. I found the bootie in a box of your mum's things, and I thought it was yours and you'd have the other one somewhere. Maybe ask your dad. Love, Aunt Elizabeth. xx'