Can't Hold Back

by Molly McLain

  Mike shook his head. “I’m not.”

  Dan ground his jaw. Yeah, he wasn’t really either, and what kind of pathetic loser did that make him?

  “How long you been hitched?” Mike asked.

  Making a show of checking his watch, Dan sighed and spoke with a sarcasm dripping from every syllable. “Oh, about thirty-six hours or so. You?”

  “Three years. Dude, you shouldn’t be feeling suffocated by that ring already. She must’ve done something pretty epic.”

  Epic. That was one of putting it. “To be honest, I don’t know what the hell happened. One minute she was blowing me and the next, she was letting some guy lick her neck.”

  Mike’s eyebrows rose. “Body shots?”

  “Dancing.”

  “Damn.”

  “No kidding. Ain’t pretty seeing another dude all over your wife. Tell me you’re not into that shit. I mean, that sharing crap only happens in college and in porn, right?”

  The bartender chuckled. “This is Cabo, man. Lots of crazy shit goes down on the Baja.”

  Was that why Maddie had been so insistent they spend their honeymoon here? Maybe she wanted a taste of that ‘crazy shit’.

  Fucking fuck. Was she trying to tell him she wanted to add another player to the game? Live a little on the wild side while they were here, because it wasn’t something she could get back home?

  He could barely conjure the image without his blood pressure skyrocketing and blowing the top of his friggin’ head straight off. He didn’t mind seeing Maddie flirt. In fact, he liked other men wanting her, because he fucking loved that, at the end of the day, she was his and only his.

  But what if that wasn’t what she wanted? He didn’t roll any other way, no matter how much he wanted to please his new bride.

  His new bride, who was probably beside herself right now, wondering where the hell he was. He pulled out his phone to see if she’d texted, but since he’d silenced it earlier, it had gone dead. The thing wouldn’t even power up.

  “I should go,” he muttered. He couldn’t avoid her forever, but he genuinely feared what came next. They’d have to talk about what happened and he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear her explanation. Wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle it without going totally postal.

  “Good luck, man.”

  “This isn’t a matter of luck.”

  “Never is when it comes to women, is it?”

  Dan stood, swaying a bit on his feet, more from the ache in his chest than the booze flowing through his body. “Thanks for the company.”

  “No problem. Hope it all works out.”

  “Yeah, me too.” And he meant that. Meant it so damn much, it hurt.

  He strode to the exit, his fingers absentmindedly rubbing at the patch of skin right over his heart. He loved Maddie more than life itself. But was he a strong enough man to give her what he suspected she wanted?

  More importantly, did he risk losing her if he didn’t?

  Chapter Seven

  Maddie woke suddenly, feeling as though someone watched her. She sat up in bed and instinctively swiped a hand over Dan’s side, still cool and empty.

  “Dammit.” The stir of regret began to brew all over again in her stomach and she hung her head in her hands. Forcing herself to breathe and not cry, she realized she must have been dreaming about him. Wishful thinking that he’d come to his senses and returned to her.

  She fumbled for her cell on the nightstand and nearly screamed when a hand snaked out of the darkness and wrapped around her wrist.

  “Oh, my God. Baby?” Her eyes weren’t adjusted enough to see him, but she knew, without a doubt, it was him. Her heart galloped in her chest even as relief washed over her, and she slid from the bed, dropping to her knees before the corner chair he sat in.

  He was slouched down in the seat, with his legs spread wide. Crawling forward until she was between them, her arms went immediately around his and she rested her head against his abdomen. There was nothing better than this. Nothing better than simply being close to him.

  She felt his shuddered breath and she wilted a bit when it was all he gave her. He didn’t touch her again and, God, how she wanted him to. Just a stroke of his fingers. Something to assure her she hadn’t wounded him so badly that they couldn’t get past this.

  “I was so worried,” she whispered, lips trembling as she pressed her face into his t-shirt and inhaled breath after breath of his scent. Even though it had permeated the entire room, nothing compared to the man himself.

  “Do you wanna fuck other guys?” he asked abruptly, and she jerked upright. His strangled voice and unguarded emotion felt a fist squeezing around her heart. The question shouldn’t have surprised her. It was exactly the message she’d sent when she’d let Armando kiss her.

  “No, I don’t.” She shook her head adamantly.

  “You sure about that?”

  “Very.”

  “Then why? Why would you let him...” His voice cracked and he broke off, exposing the canyon of raw emotion she’d inflicted in him.

  She hesitated, still not wanting to blurt out the truth. Which was not only ridiculous, but selfish as hell. Hadn’t she done enough damage already?

  “I wanted you riled up,” she admitted, her words a shameful whisper. “I wanted you to want me.”

  “I already wanted you,” he spat.

  She shook her head in the darkness. She could just make out the outline of his face and the occasional play of moonlight reflecting in his eyes. “Not like that.”

  “When I want you, I want you. There’s no difference.”

  His breath wafted against her face and she smelled the whiskey, heard the lazy drawl in his words. He didn’t seem drunk, but then it was hard to tell without looking into his eyes. She pushed back and reached for the bedside lamp.

  “No lights,” he snapped. “I’m not ready to look at you.”

  Simultaneous zings of regret and thrill rushed through her. “Okay.”

  “Did you like it? His mouth on you? His hands?”

  Not in the least. “I liked how you looked at me. With possession in your eyes. I wanted more of that. I thought maybe you’d...” She let the sentence trail, clasping her bottom lip between her teeth. How to say it? How to make him understand?

  “Thought maybe I’d what?”

  This was it. The moment she laid herself bare before him. The moment of complete and utter truth.

  “I thought maybe you’d react like you did, but instead of walking out, you’d...you’d put your hands on me and drag me out of the club. Maybe bring me someplace private or even back here so...” She paused to swallow against the dryness in her throat and the arousal building in her belly. “So you could punish me and make me apologize for acting like a slut.”

  She felt his body go rigid in front of her and embarrassment flooded hot through her every cell. Her cheeks burned with the humiliation and her skin suddenly felt too tight, tingling like it might burst at any second.

  “It’s stupid, I know. It’s just...you come alive in front of the courtroom. You command every person watching and listening, and you hold nothing back. You don’t let anyone who’s guilty of a crime slink away—you make them feel guilty as hell for thinking they could ever get away with whatever it is they’ve done wrong. And that turns me on. So damn much.”

  She heard his breathing pick up and when she ventured a tentative glance upward, she could finally see his face clearly. His nostrils flared and his brown eyes were nearly black and piercing right through her.

  “Maddie,” he growled, his fingertips against to the side of her face. It was the lightest of gestures, just a featherlike caress across her cheek and down to her mouth. But it felt like so much more.

  She curled into his hand, then flicked out her tongue when his fingers touched her lips. His hiss echoed in the darkness.

  “I’m not a fragile flower. I’m not going to break. But I am a woman who wants everything you have to give. I can’t hold back anymor
e and I don’t want you to either.” She pushed forward again, going for his fly, but he grasped both her wrists in one hand and held her off. She trembled at the firm, unyielding grip and goose bumps washed over her skin, excitement and pleasure dawning.

  “Let’s be clear on something, sweetheart.” He pistoned into an upright position, towering over her still kneeling frame. His free hand came up to grip her chin and angle her face sharply toward his. Jaw clenched tight, she could see the twitching muscle at the juncture and feel the anger snapping like electricity in the air. “The only lips that will ever touch your body again are mine. Is that understood?”

  Oh, God, yes. She nodded and a silent shiver zipped down her spine, bursting like fireworks.

  “There’s a fine line between what I like and what I don’t and, unfortunately for you, you’re probably gonna piss me off again before you figure out my breaking point. I can’t promise how I’ll react next time.”

  Oh, yeah, she was looking forward to that. Almost like her next breath. Definitely like her next orgasm.

  The fingers on her chin tightening their hold. “You look pleased to hear that.”

  “I am.” No sense in denying it. He could probably smell it in the air.

  “All this time we’ve been together, I had no idea you were such a naughty girl.” His gaze shifted to her mouth and he swiped the rough pad of his thumb across her lower lip. Unable to resist, she sucked it inside and moaned. He growled and jerked her still-bound wrists above her head. “You’d like it better if it were my cock in that pretty mouth, wouldn’t you?”

  “Mmm...” She continued to lave at his digit, showing him exactly what she’d do if were said appendage on her tongue.

  “Yeah, I’d like that too, but you know what I’d like even better?” He leaned in close and took a long sniff, from her collarbone to the spot behind her ear. She shivered. “I can’t stand the thought of his mouth on you. I wanna watch you to wash off every last trace of him.”

  He popped his thumb out from between her lips and she swallowed, acutely aware that she’d begun to tremble. “O-okay.”

  “And Maddie?”

  God, the way he said her name...

  “I know what you did in the shower earlier.”

  Oh, fuck. “I—”

  He yanked hard on her hands, nearly lifting her off of the ground. She whimpered as dampness stained her panties. “There is no excuse for making yourself come when I was right here, my cock hard and aching to do it for you.”

  “I’m sor—”

  “No, you’re not. But I’m willing to let you redeem yourself.”

  Yes, please. “How?”

  His smile was feral. “Get off your knees and you’ll see.”

  Chapter Eight

  Arousal rushed so hot and hard through his body, he thought he might pass out from the intensity of it. Maddie wanted his dominant side? Oh, hell, yes. He just hoped she knew what she was asking.

  “Take off your clothes.” He pulled her into the bathroom and shoved back the shower curtain. She followed his order while he turned on the water and adjusted the temperature.

  “What about you? Aren’t you going to join me?”

  “You’d like that too much.”

  “You would too.”

  Yeah, he would. But this wasn’t about what he liked and needed right now—this was about teaching her to never hide her desires from him again. He’d get off eventually, he’d make damn sure of that. “What I want right now is an apology. Why are your panties still on?”

  Her cheeks flushed and she moved her fingers timidly to the thin bands running over her hips. It didn’t escape his notice that the fabric between her legs was completely soaked.

  “Don’t act like you’ve never done this before, Maddie. Remember when you were in here earlier? Fingering your little pussy all by yourself? I know you didn’t leave them on then.”

  She lowered her head, trying to hide the blush on her cheeks as she shimmied out of the tiny scrap of red lace, letting it fall to the floor around her bare feet. Her musky scent filled the room and he ground his jaw so hard, he tasted blood. The delicious scent was what had given her away earlier too. Didn’t the woman realize how friggin’ potent she was when turned on?

  “Get in,” he snapped and she moved quickly around him, climbing beneath the spray. The water pelted against her already taut nipples and she instinctively covered them with her arms. Shielding herself from him or denying herself the pleasure? “Arms down. I wanna see every bit of you.”

  She shot him a cautious glance, but she did as he said.

  “Now grab the soap and get rid of him. I wanna watch every remnant of that asshole go down the drain.”

  She obeyed and eyed him hungrily as he undid his belt and fly. It nearly killed him, but he made no move to release his throbbing cock. Instead, he closed the toilet lid, took a seat and crossed his arms over his chest, enjoying the show.

  A rich lather of tiny white bubbles slid from her neck, down to her small breasts and over the hard, rosy peaks of her nipples. Soapy or not, his mouth itched to catch those lucky droplets on his tongue, but that would give her just as much pleasure, so he squelched the temptation. Instead, he focused on the suds sluicing down the valley between those perfect tits, over the flat of her belly, and into the crevice of her bare pussy.

  “Touch yourself,” he growled. “Show me how you got off.”

  “I can’t...”

  “You can and you will.” He arched an eyebrow. “Fingers. Clit. Pussy. Now.”

  With a strangled sound, she skimmed the back of her fingers down to her navel and lower. When she lifted her leg to rest on the ledge, spreading herself wide before him, he almost succumbed to the barely contained need to reach into his shorts and pull out his cock. Just one stroke, maybe two. Enough to take the edge off.

  But he kept his arms folded, fists balled, because she’d like it too much if he gave in. He resorted to locking his gaze on her face, loving how it contorted with every brush of her fingertips. Her eyes fluttered shut, water dripping off her lashes, and his nostrils flared. So fucking pretty. “Open your eyes, Maddie. Don’t you dare hide from me.”

  “I can’t come with my eyes open. I can’t concentrate...”

  “Too fucking bad. You’re sure as hell not gonna close yourself off and think about someone else.”

  “I wouldn’t—”

  “How am I supposed to believe that’s not the very reason you didn’t invite me in earlier? When you were finger fucking yourself into oblivion?”

  Her fingers sped up, stroking her clit and dipping deeper into her folds, but not yet breaching inside. She moaned and bit her lip, her pinched-brow focus unwavering from his as steam filled the room.

  “I thought about you,” she whispered. “Your hands. Your cock.”

  He chuckled, his nails dug discreetly into his palms. “Too much talking, not enough fingers.”

  “I want you...”

  “Show me how badly.”

  Her free hand slid up to her breast and she tweaked a nipple at the same time she pinched her clit between her fingers. “I...I can’t.”

  “That’s bullshit, Maddie! You will show me. You will share with me—your husband—what gets you off. Do you need to think about my cock inside you? My tongue?”

  Her eyes drifted shut again, but only for a moment, and her hips undulated forward, seeking out more of the pleasure she gave herself.

  “Is that it? My face between your legs? Eating you?”

  She nodded slowly and then a single, manicured fingertip disappeared into her wet channel.

  His eyes damn near rolled back in his head. “More.”

  She widened her stance to allow room for a second finger. “Oh...shit...”

  “Tell me exactly what you’re fantasizing about, sweetheart, or this all stops. Right now.”

  “Just...” She gasped as she pushed the digits in further and he stood, arms still crossed, brow furrowed. “Just give me a minute,
” she pleaded.

  Not a chance. He yanked her hand from between her legs and brought her fingers to his mouth, sucking them between his lips, one at a time, and licking off her sweet juices. His balls drew up tight and it took a concerted effort to not fall on his knees and lap up every last drop.

  “Oh God...” She moaned as she watched and her entire body shook with pent-up need. He guessed her words before she said them. “I wanna come, baby. Please. Touch me.”

  “I’m not done with you yet.” Dropping her hand, he pulled his shirt over his head and reached in to shut off the water. “Out. Now.”

  “But—”

  “Get your sweet ass out and bend over the counter.”

  He saw the twin flickers of lust and resentment flash in her eyes. But on shaky legs and unsteady feet, she did as he demanded, pressing her perfect, mouthwatering breasts into the cool marble. He imagined her nipples growing even harder. Becoming little pebbles that would tickle his tongue and make him wanna suck her hard until she screamed his name.

  She thought he was being cruel? This punishment was ten times worse on him.

  He smoothed his hand over the wet, satiny curve of her ass, admiring the perfect globe and the long line of her graceful back. She arched as he stroked her skin and gently tugged at her drenched hair.

  “You let him grind all over this ass.” Down his hand went again, palming one cheek and then the other. They fit perfectly in his grasp and a memory of another night, a few months back, flashed through his mind. Yeah, they’d have to do that again. Soon. But right now... “I liked when he did that. I liked watching you, Maddie. But you took it too far.”

  Slap!

  “Fuck!” she cried, and he watched in the mirror as she sank her teeth into her forearm, the sting of his hand across her bare ass ringing in the air.

  Dropping to his knees behind her, he placed an open mouth kiss on the reddened hand print, then treated the other cheek to the same, crisp punishment.

  A solitary trickle of arousal slid down her thigh and he swiped it up with his thumb before licking it off with a smile she couldn’t see.

  “You were very bad tonight, Maddie.”