What If (Willowbrook Book 2)

by Mathews, Ashlyn

  He must’ve looked confused. She explained. “If I wasn’t ready to accept all of you—a public figure in my private world—how could I trust and love you properly and completely?” She rubbed her nose on his shirt before meeting his gaze. “I could only give Chris my heart, my love. But not the piece of my heart and my love that had always been yours to keep. When I saw the lock . . .” Her voice trembled and faltered. “I thought you didn’t want your piece any longer.”

  “Emma, love, babe, baby doll.” He swooped in and clamped his mouth over hers.

  He’d never seen Emma so emotional as in the last twenty-four hours. Must be the pregnancy. Their baby. A strong and independent, smart and selfless woman carried his child. Damn. Tearing his mouth away, he cradled her face in his palms. “I’ll always want access to your heart.” He searched her face. Soon. From the tenderness in her eyes and the flush of confidence on her cheeks, he believed she’d tell him soon about their baby. “Let’s get you home.”

  Hand in hand, they walked across the field. He inhaled. The cool air smelled of damp grass and dew-covered leaves. “I take it you asked Chris to be in the gala?”

  “Yes, but he said, no.” She swung their clasped hands. “I’m glad he did. The win-a-date-with-a-hunk isn’t his thing unless he’s the one betting on the hunk.” She laughed.

  Her happiness echoed, and he wanted more happiness for her and the little boy she cared deeply for.

  “I have an idea to make the gala a success.”

  At the edge of the field, before they took the path that would lead them to their place, she came to a stop. “Does it involve a superstar? I promised Chance one.”

  “Not a superstar but superstars, Em. Once we get home, I’ll call Jones. We’ll see if some of my players can make the gala. How about it?”

  She let go of his hand and started to jump up and down, clapping as she did so. Laughing with the happiness he wanted to see more of from her, the mother of his unborn child, she jumped into his arms. “Oh my gosh, Drew. You are my perfect guy.”

  Touchdown!

  * * * *

  When they got back to their place, Drew insisted she get comfortable while he made the phone call to Jones. The conversation from the kitchen had been hush-hush. Sitting on the couch in her PJs, Emma twirled a strand of hair between her fingers and waited.

  Her stomach gurgled. She let go of her hair and slipping her hand under her shirt, patted her belly. A quickening deep inside sent tingles through her. She sat straight from her slouched position. The quickening, like the fluttering wings of a hummingbird, came again. She shot to her feet and almost called out to Drew to come now. The baby had moved. Or maybe not.

  Maybe, she had bad gas. Argh. She wished she had one of her pregnancy books with her. Instead, the stack of resources were hidden in a drawer on her nightstand. Since she’d offered to help with the gala, Eve and Asa had dropped by Emma’s place several times to brainstorm. No way could they know she was pregnant. So she had stashed the books away.

  But she suspected Eve had known her secret since Emma had chosen clunky boots over bling-bling high heels. Sighing, she gave up on the idea of wearing them again for a long time.

  Her sight dropped to her belly. But he was so worth it.

  He? Yes, she had a gut feeling the baby growing inside her was a boy. In three weeks, she’d know. Her doctor planned an ultrasound. She smoothed a palm over her barely there baby bump.

  When she and Drew had made love last night, she cherished the way he coasted his lips over her bump, lingering ever so slightly to let her know he was onto her. Soon. Soon, she’d tell him of their pregnancy. However, there was one more thing she needed to do.

  “Hey, babe, you doing okay?” he asked.

  Startled at where her thoughts went, she spun on the couch and faced him. He quirked a brow. There was no curiosity on his face, just concern. She exhaled a quiet breath.

  “I’ve got a bad craving for Stew’s veggie omelet. Can you call Eve and see if she can bring me some?”

  “Sure,” he said with his phone in his hand. “When she gets here, we’ll run the plan by her. Jones will make a few phone calls then get back to me.”

  Good.

  He dialed and began to pace the room as he waited for Eve to pick up.

  “Um, Drew?”

  He looked up with a questioning expression.

  “I’m going outside for fresh air, okay?”

  He nodded. After she grabbed her cell phone and jacket, she put on her boots and headed out the front door. She closed the door, and leaning against it, she texted Sandy her question. It was early, but the family would be up getting ready for church. Sandy texted right back with a “yes” followed by a smiley face followed by a heart.

  So ready to do a happy dance, she called Jones and hurried a few feet from the house, far from hearing distance.

  “Emma, this better be important. I’ve been asked to do whatever it takes to make you happy and no way in hell should I go off course, or else. Drew’s words.”

  Drew’s words. What Jones revealed broke her heart. Drew went to great lengths to wrangle his teammates in for an overnight event that meant everything to a family who needed their help. And those players—whoever and how many there were—were willing to leave their families and their loved ones to go on a date with a total stranger.

  “I have a huge favor to ask,” she said with her fingers crossed. What she would ask of Jones totally went against his advice to Drew—lay low, avoid the media.

  She told him her plan.

  He cursed. “Fine, I’ll do it. But once the media sees how Drew looks at you, there will be no hiding your relationship any longer.”

  “I know,” she reassured him. “It’s what I want, Jones.”

  “Then let me be the first to congratulate you.”

  “For what?”

  “For owning up to the courage that has always lived inside you, Miss Lombardi.”

  Jones hung up before she could tell him how lucky Drew was to have him as his agent. She tucked her phone into her jacket pocket. There, she’d done it. Soon, her private world and Drew’s public one would collide. And she wasn’t scared but excited.

  As long as she could talk about the unsafe stuff with Drew and he did the same, she was positive she could live in both worlds. Drew had been right.

  You sure this is what you want? We can’t go back to what we had.

  His words from the masquerade ball had her beaming. She didn’t want to go back to what they’d had. She just wanted to go forward with the occasional backward glance when she faltered, the fleeting gesture a reminder of what hadn’t worked. Her steps light, as though she walked on air, she returned to the house and Drew.

  Chapter Fourteen

  She found him in the kitchen. When she walked in, he looked at her with a smile on his face and love in his eyes. He’d called her his love, his babe, his baby doll. Yet all the endearments in the world couldn’t replace the three important words she’d long to hear to complete their second chance at love.

  “Eve and Lucas will be here in fifteen minutes.”

  “They’re back together.” Stating the obvious, she grabbed a seat at the kitchen table across from him, her legs weak from what she was about to tell him.

  “For now.” He slid a bowl of oatmeal toward her. “Have a bite. You look ready to keel over.”

  She took a few bites and swallowed. The cinnamon and brown sugar left a sickeningly sweet taste in her mouth. She scrunched her face in disgust. Drew pushed back his chair, stood and filled a cup with water for her. She grabbed the cup and downed the water.

  “Better?” He sat with his arms crisscrossed on the table.

  “Yes, thank you.” She set the cup down and circled its rim with her fingers. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

  His gaze fixed on her face. She reminded herself that he’d shown he could handle her unsafe and very uncomfortable conversations.

  “I broke up with you not
just because I didn’t want to go public with the relationship. The thought of the media’s attention scared me. But I wasn’t scared for only myself. I wanted to protect our baby.”

  “Em—” He started to get up.

  She reached out, and grabbing him by his casts, she uncrossed his arms and tugged him across the table toward her. She had to stand to do it. But she needed him as near to her as possible while having the table between them should he not take well to her next confession.

  “When the pregnancy test came back positive, I did a second then a third. After the third positive, I sat on the bathroom floor and cried.”

  He tried to free himself from her grip. She tightened her hold.

  “I should’ve been excited. Instead, I cried for what I realized I had to do to protect our child and my privacy. I had to let go of you—my heart since you’d offered me a ride the day I lost my dad.”

  He jerked free, rushed over, and clasped her against the solid strength of his body. “What you felt is nothing to be ashamed of. In life, there’s never a right time or the wrong moment. There’s only now.” He got down on one knee and took her hand in his. “I was your biggest mistake.” He kissed her inner wrist. “But you and the baby are my greatest gift. Marry me, Emma. Be mine, baby doll. I love you so much.”

  It wasn’t his drive, his talent, his title as a Super Bowl champ that was his greatest gift. She and their baby were. Tears blurred her vision. Smiling, she got down on her knees and threw herself into his arms.

  “Yes! Yes, we’ll marry you.” She and their baby.

  Drew held her tight. She squirmed out of his hold. A correction needed to be made.

  “You were never my biggest mistake.” She dropped kisses of apology over his broken wrists. “I was wrong to withhold information from you. I thought keeping difficult or unsafe truths from you would keep you safe, would prevent you from being worried about me, from distracting you from your dreams. Instead, I drove us apart.”

  Grasping his head in her hands, she looked into eyes she could gaze into for a lifetime. “You were, and always will be, my greatest gift. I love you, Drew.”

  He laughed, and they tumbled onto the floor, a mish mash of kisses and roaming hands, desperate to get naked.

  “You think we can do it in less than fifteen?” she asked, coming up for air after a toe-curling, soak-her-panties kiss.

  “We have a lifetime of minutes and hours, fast and slow.”

  With his unspoken promise of forever, he put back the pieces of her broken heart. She didn’t need the answer to her last question. Why do I love and miss you so much I hurt?

  She loved and missed him so much she hurt because she’d freely given her heart to Drew to safeguard, and he’d done right by her. Always. There didn’t need to be a physical heart-lock and key to show their commitment to them.

  As though he too thought of the key and heart-shaped lock, he traced a heart in the notch of her neck.

  “Where’s the necklace, Em?”

  She leaned in and whispered in his ear. “With my mother.”

  “Safe.”

  “Cherished.”

  “Damn, I love you.” He massaged her butt. “We’re down to ten minutes or so, babe. We better get in the bedroom quick.”

  She glanced to the side. Following where she’d looked, he smiled and nipped her earlobe. “Hmm, the wall it is.”

  Having sex against the wall wasn’t taking a risk—they’d done it countless times—nor was it safe, not with Drew’s broken wrists. And doing the dirty in full view of the picture windows, knowing their friends would be here soon, seemed reckless. However, she was ready to feel adventurous and courageous with only him, her Drew.

  Epilogue

  “Drew, I think my water broke.”

  “What?!”

  He stopped mid-shave and watched her waddle into their bathroom.

  “We should get to the hospital.” Lines formed on her forehead, and she bit down on her bottom lip. If his Emma was worried, he was damn near freaking out.

  “Okay, baby doll, I’ll grab our gear. While I drive, you let everyone know.”

  Her eyes widened.

  He put down the razor and took her small hands in his. “Your plan, Em,” he reminded her. “And you gave me orders to not deviate.” He chucked her under her trembling chin. “But if you want it to be just you and me at the hospital, I’ll support that decision too.”

  She shook her head. “I want everyone there. They’re like our second family.”

  “What you want, you’ll get.” He pressed his lips to hers.

  She smiled against his mouth. God, he loved her. She deepened the kiss. He groaned then broke off their kiss. Any more of her sweetness, and he’d want to worship her beautiful body by kissing her from head to toe. Right now, they didn’t have that kind of time.

  Taking her hand in his, they stopped in the bedroom and grabbed her overnight bag—something she’d put together months ago—before they got in his truck.

  As he drove, he watched her text their friends from the corner of his eye. Her phone buzzed like crazy. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.

  Chris and his partner had gotten back together. They would be Emma and Drew’s baby boy’s godparents. Asa and Eve were designated “aunties.” And Lucas and Rhys? After the little white lie they’d told about holding Drew’s junk for him while he pissed, they were put in charge of diaper duty when Drew was out of town for away games. The season had already started.

  After the gala that brought in over twenty grand for Chance, Drew and Emma had hard questions to mull over. Would they live in Willowbrook or would he move her down to the Bay area? Could she leave her career, her friends, and her mother? In the end, they had made the right decision. He’d sell his place in San Francisco and make Willowbrook his permanent home. Emma would move in with him but keep her little house by the cemetery.

  “Okay, I’ve texted everyone. They’ll meet us at the hospital.” She placed her clasped hands on her lap. “I hesitated earlier because it’s the middle of the week, they’ve got jobs, it’s an inconvenience—” She sighed.

  “They won’t mind, Em.” He found that he liked when she dropped her guard and gave him the truth.

  At his reassurance, she smiled and rubbed her belly.

  The nearest hospital was in Ashton, two hours away. He hoped to God he wouldn’t be delivering in the truck. “How are the contractions?” he asked with a casualness he didn’t feel.

  “A few here and there.” She set her hand palm up on the center console. He placed his hand in hers. Always the first to let someone know they were safe. Safe. He liked that word, a lot.

  “You don’t mind the arrangement, right, Mrs. Hazard?” Going between their place and hers.

  Her free hand shot to her mouth. But he’d already seen her shit-eating grin.

  “Drew, that’s the first time you’ve called me that.”

  “It’s true.”

  The day after he had proposed to her, they had jetted to Las Vegas as a couple and returned to Willowbrook, married. His mother had served as their witness. When they had arrived in Willowbrook later that night, the media surrounded them. Emma had handled the attention with a graciousness and sophistication that had him puffing his chest out with pride.

  Later, he’d had a private chat with the reporters. Sure, he’d love to run his mouth off about anything related to his career. However, his private life with Emma was off limits. They could try to overstep the boundaries as often and as hard as they liked. But he would return their personal questions with the same line, “No comment.”

  “No, I don’t mind keeping our place and mine,” she said, answering his question about their arrangement. “Eventually, I’ll sell my place. But with Mom—”

  He squeezed her hand. “Your mom likes to visit your dad, and having someone else live in the house wouldn’t be the greatest idea.”

  “Right.” She smiled. “As long as I know you and the baby, and our
family and friends are in my life, I can live one day at a time. Some things in life aren’t meant to be planned for.”

  Their baby. Their marriage.

  “I love you, Drew.” She glanced sidelong at him. Her eyes twinkled.

  His heart stuttered. A football career would come and go. Emma and their life together . . . well, that was his forever.

  “How are the contractions, babe?”

  “Far apart.”

  “Good.” He pulled off to the side of the road and parked. Turning in his seat, he let go of her hand and clasped her face in his palms. “I love you, Mrs. Hazard. For the rest of my life, I’ll safeguard your heart, and the life of our baby and our future children.”

  “Aw, Drew.” She pressed her forehead to his with tears in her eyes.

  He whispered his words of love again and again over the lusciousness of her parted lips. With the confidence of a woman who’d just crossed the field goal to a winning touchdown, she opened herself to him. He willingly accepted all she was—predictable, safe, courageous, strong. His Emma. His heart.

  Books by Ashlyn Mathews

  If Only (Willowbrook)

  What If (Willowbrook)

  Protector: Prequel to the Extinction Series

  UnMarked (Extinction)

  Luminescence (Extinction) Available November 2014

  Never Forget Always Remember (Universal Law)

  Near Perfect (Dare You)

  Love Actually (Red Meets Blue) (Dare You) Release Date TBD

  Thank you for reading What If. If you enjoy Emma and Drew’s story, please consider leaving a review on the site where you purchased the book. Reviews and word-of-mouth is so important to an author. I would greatly appreciate it! “Red” gets his own story in Love Actually in the Dare You series. If you would like more about my current books and future books, subscribe to my blog or monthly newsletters at www.ashlynmathews.com. Thank you!