To Have and Hold (The Club #19)

by Isobelle Cate

  Adam and Brock took me back to The Club. They seemed to know that it was my safe space. Dennis would follow after getting a few of my things. The Club hadn’t opened yet, but Adam had called on our way there, talking to Beebee and explaining the situation. Beebee told them to bring me there. She must have a lot of clout to be able to make that blanket decision because we were all ushered to the second floor and given a room.

  “I’m afraid the only available room at the moment is the Black Mariah,” she said as she opened the door to the room. In my fragile state, my mind only registered the huge bed in the centre of a stage and the spotlights in the four corners of the room.

  “This will do.” Adam looked at Brock, who nodded.

  “Why do I have to be here?” I asked.

  “Babe, I have to leave, and Brock needs to oversee several construction sites.” Adam’s hand circled my nape, before kissing me. “I don’t want to go, not after this.”

  “You must.” I whispered as I held his wrist. “There’s someone else waiting for you to save their life.” I looked up at his conflicted blue eyes. “Just as you are saving mine. Go. I’ll be waiting.”

  “Jordan, I’m holding you to keep our woman safe.” Adam looked at Brock.

  Brock snorted. “You don’t have to tell me to do that.” He extended his hand. “Good luck, mate. Come back soon.”

  Adam nodded curtly. With one last hard kiss, he was gone.

  And so was a part of me.

  “I’ll leave you two,” Beebee said smiling. I liked her friendliness, and if I was going to stay here, I’d needed someone to talk to.

  “Bee, I don’t mean to impose —” Brock started.

  “Don’t worry, I don’t mind babysitting.” Beebee winked at us and squeezed my arm in a gesture of solidarity. “Besides, I think Bettina could use some food.”

  “Thanks, but I’m not hungry.”

  “I say you need it after what you’ve been through.” Beebee’s tone was a gentle command I had no choice but to comply. Geez, was she a Domme? With her svelte figure encased in latex and her black hair tied tightly in a ponytail that looked like a nine o’ tails? She could definitely rock it.

  A huge man in a suit strode along the corridor, stopping when he spied Beebee. And I mean a muscled man sporting a crew cut and a face that could have been hewn from rock.

  “Bettina, this is Austin Pepperdine. He and Preston Stevens take care of security. When Brock needs to leave, and since Adam is en route to London, he will be your shadow.”

  I don’t know about shadow because the man was huge.

  “Hi Bettina,” Austin grinned. “You won’t even know I’m there.”

  “I’m not so sure,” I murmured. Austin only laughed.

  “Does this mean that I have to stay in this room?” I asked looking around once more. There wasn’t even a bathroom.

  “You have free access to any place except the offices,” Beebee said. “It’s all been okayed by the owners.”

  I was cool with that. I didn’t want to go to the offices or anywhere I wasn’t familiar with. At the moment I was a bundle of contradictions. I wanted to be alone and yet be with people at the same time.

  “You’ll be okay here,” Brock took me in his arms, and I held him tight, taking as much as I could of him until I saw him next. “Dennis will be arriving soon.”

  “That’s why I’m here,” Austin interjected. “Mr. Tanner is waiting at the Deuxieme Bar. I didn’t know where Ms. Francis was staying.”

  “Here for the moment,” Beebee replied. “I’ll need to ask a favor from Ms. Fremanis to see if there are any vacant private rooms for Bettina to stay in.”

  “Isn’t this a private room?” I asked. “I was just about to ask for the bathroom.”

  “More like private viewing,” Beebee remarked dryly. “That’s the one-way mirror allowing people in the other room to watch what happens in here.”

  “Oh…” I colored at the thought of someone watching. It was also a huge turn on for me. I shot a look at the mirror that practically dominated the entire wall. People watching fuck action…My pulse raced at the thought. This was the kink that Gavin and his minions had destroyed.

  “Gotta go,” Brock whispered against my head. “I’ll be back in a few hours.” Brock’s kiss was bittersweet. Damn it, I was already missing him.

  “Let’s go,” Beebee nudged me gently once Brock and Austin left.

  “You don’t mind if I walk barefoot?” I asked. “My feet are killing me.”

  “This is a place of refuge, Bettina.” Beebee cupped my cheek. “You can do whatever you like within reason. Taking off your shoes won’t push the beyond reason button.” She grinned. “Just remember that feet are a fetish.”

  I blushed but pulled the shoes off anyway. I was so glad I did. The carpet was so soft and plush underneath my feet, the moan that came out of me rivalled the sounds I made when Adam and Brock were pleasuring me. Beebee smirked before we both tittered. I followed her to the bar where Dennis waited.

  “I’ll leave you two alone,” Beebee said.

  I grasped her wrist, surprising her.

  “Please, I’d like you to stay,” I said. “You have been so kind to me by allowing me to be here even if I’m not a member. The least I can do is tell you why.”

  “Bettina, honestly, there is no need—”

  “But I want to.” I looked at Dennis. “He already knows what happened, but not the entire story. Please.”

  “You okay sweetheart?” Dennis stood as we approached, his face, a mask of concern.

  “I will be after I eat.” Beebee was right. I needed food. At the sight and smell of the juicy steaks and steamed veggies, my mouth watered and my tummy grumbled.

  We ate in silence for a while, the silence pierced by the clink of wine glasses and silver on plates. Soft classical music came from speakers I couldn’t see allowing me to relax and enjoy the food I ate. Ate was probably an understatement when it came to me. I wolfed down the food like I hadn’t eaten in weeks. Not particularly ladylike, but what the hell. Beebee went around to the bar and got us a bottle of Pinot.

  Moments later, Dennis leaned back taking a sip from his wine glass.“I take it the asshole who graced the office was the reason for leaving Houston.”

  I nodded. It had been too raw then to even say his name, as though it would conjure him to appear at my doorstep. He did appear, though not exactly in my home for which I was grateful.

  “His name is Gavin Tresher as you heard.” I looked at Beebee. “He worked for Netmall Properties just as I did after leaving Privee Holdings. Handsome, ambitious, with truckloads of charisma. When someone like that notices you even, though you give him the cold shoulder, you have to admire his persistence.”

  “Why did you leave Privee?” Beebee asked after sipping from her wine.

  I looked at Dennis. “Because he left me.” When Dennis snorted, I grinned.

  Dennis volunteered the answer. “Privee didn’t give us any opportunity to grow. Promises were made by management. Delivering on those promises was a different ball game all together.”

  “When Dennis and I worked there we were inseparable.” I continued where my best friend left off. “We were a great team. We were also into kink which we kept secret.

  “Netmall wasn’t exactly ideal, but the salary they proposed was twice than what I made at Privee. I thought I could also create a niche market.” I sighed. “Gavin propositioned me, told me out of the blue he wanted to fuck me. Shit, I wanted him too. Then he said he was into the same kink I liked. See and be seen.”

  “How did he find out about your kink?” Beebee angled her head in curiosity.

  I flushed. “I told him during one of the many times we went for a drink after work. I was so dumb.”

  I stared blankly at a point on the table, my food forgotten. The sordid details of Houston dredged up from memory.

  “We went to Borderline and that’s when things got out of hand,” I said almost to myself. “I sig
ned a non-disclosure agreement and believed I was safe. Borderline was one of the BDSM clubs that had a reputation for discretion no different from The Club.”

  I reached for my glass to gulp down a fortifying amount, grateful for the alcohol that gently loosened my muscles.

  “Did Gavin sign one?” Dennis crossed his legs, his arms resting against the chair’s back.

  “We were together with some of his friends and we were talking while Gavin looked at the form.” I looked away. “I didn’t see him sign anything.”

  “What happened next?” Bee Bee asked.

  “We fucked.” Could I have said it with more finesse? Not likely because it was just as I said it. We fucked. “Two of his friends took turns with me. There was an audience, and that made me want to get fucked all the more. After that session in Borderline, I thought that was that, that it would also be our secret. So naïve.

  “When I went to work the next week, there were a lot of people looking at me with dismay, malice, or outright disdain. The girls I worked with had this sudden aversion to me like I had some kind of disease. It was only when I cornered one of the girls in the ladies’ room that I found out not only did Gavin and his friends fuck me—they fucked me royally by filming everything we did. My pussy was on all of the guys’ cellphones.”

  “Fuck!” I had never seen Dennis so livid.

  I continued. “That morning, I was told to pack my things and leave.” I flicked my hair from my shoulders, sweating cold at the memory. “Later on my parents found out.” I looked at Beebee. “They refused to have anything to do with me. I sought refuge here.”

  Dennis pushed away from his chair, so violently it upended, startling me and destroying the leg of the chair. Beebee’s eyes narrowed. Austin came rushing in.

  “What’s happened?”

  “Sorry,” Dennis apologized immediately. “Charge me for the chair, Beebee. That tantrum was uncalled for.”

  “It was, but not the violation of the chair who had nothing on you.”

  Dennis looked at the bartender in amazement before he exhaled, a smile ghosting on his lips.

  “We all good?” Beebee asked.

  Dennis nodded slowly, as though he wasn’t sure.

  “Bettina?”

  “Cathartic,” was all I said. I didn’t realize talking about what happened to me would make me feel better. I looked at my best friend. “I’m sorry.”

  “Sweetheart, it wasn’t your fault.” Dennis reached out and squeezed my hand. His eyes were sad. “Borderline should have taken better care.”

  “What a slimeball.” Beebee shook her head in disgust. “I’m going to make sure all of our people become aware of Borderline.”

  “You can do that?” My eyes widened.

  “And more,” she said crisply. “Trust isn’t only between consenting adults. Trust should also be practiced by the establishment. Borderline broke that cardinal rule.”

  I sipped at my wine. “We can never say if people will uphold the agreement once they’re out of the premises.”

  “True,” Beebee conceded. “But they have a responsibility to do so. Those who don’t are called cum faces.”

  I nearly choked on the wine I had just swallowed. Dennis’ eyes crinkled with laughter.

  Geez.

  “Right, I have to go.” Beebee Bee leaned over and bussed me on the cheek. “Thank you for trusting me with your story. Remember, you’re safe here.”

  I turned back to Dennis once Beebee left.

  “I can see the cogs running inside that brain of yours,” I commented. “And VP?”

  Dennis shrugged. “Why not? You’ve brought in so much business in, I’m shitting gold.”

  “Dennis!” But I laughed shaking my head, my problem temporarily forgotten. I saw him sober. “So what are you thinking of?”

  Dennis just hummed. I knew I wasn’t going to get anywhere. Now if I had a full bottle of wine...

  Chapter Eleven

  Brock arrived a couple of hours later and didn’t let me out of his sight. Later that evening, Adam called checking up on me. I’d never felt so protected nor cherished as much as those moments with Brock and Adam. Beebee was able to get me a room at the far end of the second floor, close to the training room. Dennis explained to me this room was to train Doms and subs. I was curious about what went on there but was just too exhausted after the events of the day that I just went to the room and fell asleep immediately.

  In Brock’s arms.

  Brock left me the next morning with a kiss on my lips and a promise to return as soon as he could. It was only then that I surveyed my room at length. I had slept on a four poster bed with a silk damask bedspread that was crumpled at the moment. Having worked with interior designers in my line of work, the furniture in the room from the chaise lounge, the writing table and armoire harked back to a time before the French Revolution. Before Marie Antoinette, King Louis, and the Dauphin lost their heads. The pastel colours of the seat cushions and the drapes suspended above the bed was a little too heavy for me. But beggars couldn’t be choosers. Besides, the air-conditioning helped ease the heaviness of the furnishings.

  I met Dennis once more by the bar after taking a quick shower and changing into a more comfortable loose blouse, skinny jeans, and flats. This time, he brought me loads of work.

  “Why the hell can’t I go to the office?” I scowled.

  “That asshole knows you work there,” Dennis muttered while he took out the laptop from the bag.

  “So? You told him to fuck off.” My hands were on my hips. Seriously, this was getting out of hand.

  “Bettina,” Dennis straightened. He was using his Dom voice again. “My priority is not to let you slip back into feeling shame for something that douchebag should suffer for.”

  Dennis and I had our very first argument after that. I knew it was the stress of seeing Gavin again, but there was a very big difference between being protected and being imprisoned.

  “Tanner.” Beebee’s voice cut smoothly into the argument ”Maybe you should get some fresh air.” Her tone begged no disagreement. She pointed to the door. “Go.”

  Yup, I knew it. She was a Domme. One who had a lot of clout with the owners. That was more than enough for Dennis to acquiesce if he didn’t want his membership revoked.

  “I need fresh air too,” I mumbled and went after my best friend. Outside of The Club’s premises, Dennis paced like a caged animal. I walked to him and touched his arm. He sighed.

  “Come here, sweetheart.”

  We held each other for a very long time. No words were needed when we were both sorry.

  “Am I still your Veep?”

  “What a dumbass question.” Dennis snorted.

  That was how Brock found us.

  “Bettina can stay at my place and work there,” Brock suggested after we told him what had happened. “If I have to go to the site, she can then come over here.”

  I threw my arms around Brock, kissing him so deeply that Dennis left us, grumbling about women.

  There was only one time that Brock wasn’t with me, and that was when he and Dennis had a closed door meeting with Jet Mak in the office. Beebee had taken a day off which according to Austin was a very rare occurrence. Austin was a teddy bear compared to the three men in my life. He talked about Dana, the love of his life with such adoration, I felt envious. Dana, who was The Club’s housekeeper, was taking it easy because she was getting heavy with their child. He talked about Lola, Dana’s and Liam’s daughter. Liam was Beebee’s partner.

  And that’s when I realized Beebee was really Tally Fremanis, one of The Club’s owners.

  Sneaky chick. No wonder it was so easy for me to get a room and Beebee looked like she had the run of the premises.

  Brock returned later that afternoon, and we went back to his place. The rest of the week passed with me working in harmony with a guy who went around his own huge condo in just jeans and walking barefoot. Nights were spent cuddling, exchanging soft kisses, and murmured
endearments. I wanted to pleasure him, but Brock refused gently.

  “When I make you come, babe, Adam should be here too.”

  I sighed relenting. I nuzzled his neck as I lay curled to his side. We had watched the sun set through the floor to ceiling glass door in his bedroom. I could see a few stars above the setting sun. This time when day and night wrestled with each other was my favorite. I closed my eyes, content in the arms of one of the men who was beginning to mean a lot to me. Relationships like this were not the norm, and while, at the start, I didn’t delude myself into thinking that there was more to this, I now wished that it could be. There was still so much I wanted to explore with them.

  “You’re deep in thought.” Brock’s deep voice rumbled through me and coated me with a hunger I knew could only be satisfied when Adam came home.

  My fingers traipsed over his pecs, loving the sound of his heartbeat under my cheek, his scent, and the play of muscle under his skin.

  “Brock, what do we all have?” I whispered looking up at his chin. I raised my lips to kiss the stubble, but he turned and kissed me instead. A deep, sweet kiss filled with promise, it made my heart squeeze. He raised his head up to look at me, his green eyes deepening with an emotion I couldn’t decipher. My breath hitched, my eyes caressed his face, memorizing every centimeter of skin, every groove, every stubble. His skin bronzed by the sun left lines at the sides of his eyes. Laugh lines that I now touched reverently.

  “Something special.” His thumb caressed my lips as he cupped my neck. “I know that what I feel for you is nothing like I’ve felt for anyone before. Sounds corny, I know. But this thing? It’s just …different.”

  I angled my head. “A good different? Or a bad different.”

  That’s when he grinned that devastatingly sexy grin.

  “An excellent different.”

  I smiled. My heart was singing. It was true what they said about a silver lining behind every dark cloud. I bent my head to kiss and lick his chest. He chuckled, pushing me gently.

  “It was worth a shot.” I giggled.

  He placed the blanket over us. I turned away from him and embraced me from behind.