Romulus

by Tina Martin

  “Ramsey’s feeding the baby right now.”

  “And where’s Carson?”

  “Carson isn’t here. Ramsey made him take the day off. He’s out enjoying himself.”

  “Oh. I got you.” Romulus continued inside. “How are you doing?”

  “I’m okay. The doctor says I’m recovering well…says I can get out and about as long as I don’t overdo it.”

  “That’s good news…must mean my brother is taking care of you.”

  A smile came to Gianna’s face. “He is. He’s in the family room, by the way, watching the game.”

  “Alright,” Romulus said heading that way.

  “Hey, what’s up, papa?” Romulus asked Ramsey as he sat on the sectional sofa. Ramsey was sitting on the recliner feeding baby Rianne.

  “Rom, what’s going on, bruh?” Ramsey asked.

  “I was just out riding around…figured I’d come over to see my niece.”

  Ramsey smirked. He wondered how true that was. He stood up and said, “Here, you can feed her.” He lowered Rianne into Romulus’ arms.

  Romulus gladly accepted her. “Wow. She’s light as a feather,” he said this being his first time holding her.

  Little Rianne began to squirm for her bottle. Ramsey handed it to Romulus and said, “Here. This is what she wants.”

  Romulus gave her the bottle and observed as she drank the milk.

  Ramsey stretched and yawned. “I’ll be back. I’m going to grab a drink. Do you want something?”

  “Yeah. Bring me a soda.”

  “Okay, man.”

  Romulus admired his niece while waiting for Ramsey to return. She was the prettiest little girl he’d ever seen – made him think about how his children would look and how it would feel to hold his own child. He wanted children – always had, but when you had problems expressing feelings, having a child wasn’t exactly on your priority list.

  Ramsey returned with two bottles of Pepsi. Since Romulus had his hands full, he opened the bottle for him before returning to his comfortable position on the recliner.

  “So this is what the CEO of St. Claire Architects does on the weekends,” Romulus said.

  “Most weekends, yes. That’s why when I’m at work, work is priority. The harder I work, the more time I have to spend with my family.”

  Romulus nodded. “Does Rianne sleep through the night?”

  “For the most part,” he responded after taking a swig of soda. “She’s a good baby…only cries when she’s hungry or needs to be changed.”

  “That’s good.”

  “Yep.” Ramsey looked at the TV for a moment.

  “How are you adjusting to having a baby in the house, changing diapers and all that?”

  “You know I’m always up for a challenge,” Ramsey began. “But truthfully, I love it…love my daughter. She’s an addition I’ve always wanted.”

  Romulus smiled small and nodded.

  “What brings you by my neck of the woods?” Ramsey asked.

  “I was just out.”

  “Just out…” Ramsey drank soda. He knew better. Romulus hardly ever came by for a random visit. Regal was the pop-up brother, not Romulus. Everything Romulus did was purpose driven.

  “Yeah, man. I was out riding around.”

  “I don’t know who you think you’re talking to,” Ramsey said with a smirk on his face. “I know you weren’t just out, riding around and you happened to end up over here in Cornelius. What have you been up to?”

  Romulus gave a lopsided grin. “It’s weird how different you are at home versus when you’re at the office. When we’re at work, it’s almost like we’re not even brothers.”

  Ramsey chuckled a bit. It’s not the first time he’d heard that. Royal had echoed something similar. “Yeah, but that’s only because I think the workplace needs to remain professional at all times. When people think it’s relaxed around there, productivity usually falls off and you know I can’t have that.”

  “Right.” Romulus took a sip of soda.

  “So what’s up with you? Anything new in your life?” Ramsey asked. Whatever was bothering his brother, he’d have to pry it out of him. Romulus wasn’t exactly forthcoming with anything.

  “Nah, nothing new.”

  “Are you seeing anyone?”

  “Nope.”

  “That’s a first. You usually stay linked up with somebody.”

  “Well, not lately. The only thing in my life right now is drama.”

  “Now we’re getting somewhere. What kind of drama?”

  “I don’t know what it is, man, but lately, Siderra has been acting strange. She said something to me last night that has my head messed up.”

  “What’s that?”

  Romulus sighed heavily. “I don’t want to get into it.”

  “Of course you do. That is why you came over here, right? Now go on and get it off your chest. I know that’s not your style, but you may as well since you’re here.”

  Romulus paused. “Siderra’s been trippin’.”

  “How so?”

  “She missed our last family dinner because she went out with some guy, and when I asked her about it, she told me she was thinking about her future. Said if she gets married, she doubts if she’ll be coming to anymore of our family dinners. She told me my family wasn’t her family when, for years, that’s all we’ve been. Family. Mom and dad love her like a daughter and now, it’s like she’s turning her back on them to follow this new direction in her life.”

  “And that bothers you?”

  Romulus released a slow, troubled breath. “It does. You don’t turn your back on family.”

  Ramsey reached for the TV remote on the coffee table then turned the volume down. “In Siderra’s defense, she’s not family. She’s your friend—your best friend. Now granted, you two have been friends for—”

  “Ten years.”

  “Okay. Ten years, but she has a point, Rom. The problem is, you’re too close to her to understand her perspective, but I see exactly what she’s saying. Siderra’s thinking about settling down and having a life of her own. How can she do that if she’s with you every second of every day?”

  “She’s not with me that often.”

  “Well, you know what I mean. You two are together more often than not. Maybe it’s time you gave her some space. What’s so bad about her dating?”

  “First off, the guy ain’t no good.”

  Ramsey lifted a brow. “And you know that how?”

  “I’ve seen him in action. He tries to holla at every female that passes his shop.”

  “Okay, so in your opinion, he ain’t no good. I’m sure Siderra had all kinds of opinions about the women you’ve been with but did she come to you telling you this woman wasn’t any good or that woman wasn’t right for you?”

  “No.”

  “Right, because it’s really none of her business who you decide to link up with. She doesn’t step in the way when you’re on the chase, so why must you block her chance at happiness?”

  “I’m not blocking. I’m being a friend—at least I thought I was.” Romulus pulled the bottle from Rianne’s mouth. Seemed she was done feasting for now.

  “Hold her up on your shoulder so you can burp her,” Ramsey told him.

  “What do I do?” Romulus asked. “Just pat her on the back?”

  “No. Rub her back gently using circular motions.”

  Romulus did as Ramsey had instructed then continued, “So, if I see that this guy is no good, I should sit back and say nothing? What kind of friend would I be if I did that?”

  “You don’t know the guy, Rom, and it’s really none of your business who Siderra chooses to spend her time with.”

  “It may not be, but Siderra is my business, and I still find it hard to believe she blew me off for a date. That just goes right over my head. I’d never do that to her. I’m always there for her no matter what.”

  Ramsey frowned. He didn’t want to come right out and say what he had suspected
– that Siderra had feelings for Romulus and he seemed oblivious to it. Was he that disconnected from her that he couldn’t pick up on the vibes?

  “Look, man. If I were you, I wouldn’t take it personally. Maybe Siderra is tired of being alone. I’m sure she wants to settle down. Every woman does eventually. Don’t y’all ever talk about stuff like that? Serious things?”

  “Yeah, but she hasn’t mentioned anything about wanting marriage and all that until recently—seems like it started around the same time you and Gianna got married. Now, all of a sudden, she wants to get married.”

  “I don’t see what’s wrong with it. You should be trying to encourage her to pursue her goals in life. If she wants to get married and have children, then support her. But you can’t be mad at her for not showing up for dinner when she’s trying to find the one, settle down and be happy.” Ramsey shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe her sudden desire to settle down does have something to do with me and Gianna, or maybe she’s wanted this all along but was so busy playing the best friend role that she neglected what she wanted.”

  “So I’ve been in her way all this time. That’s what you’re telling me.”

  “I honestly think you should have an open dialogue with her about it. You two usually see eye-to-eye on just about everything, but this particular matter seems to have you both off balance.” Ramsey stood up and scooped his daughter from Romulus’ arms. “Ay, by the way, when are you going to have one of these?”

  “A baby?”

  “Yes,” Ramsey chuckled. “There’s no greater feeling than holding your own creation. A part of me made this beautiful baby. It’s mind-boggling. Nothing short of a miracle.”

  Romulus nodded.

  “Not for you though, huh?” Ramsey asked, sitting in the recliner with his sleeping baby girl in his arms. He leaned down to kiss her soft cheek.

  “I’m not ruling it out. I haven’t been able to think much about the future lately. I’ve been in a slump. I work and go home. That’s pretty much it.”

  “There’s more to life than working and going home.”

  “I know but everybody can’t be you, Ram. You have it all together. You got the house, the cars, the wife, the kid—your life is sweet right now. You’re riding high.”

  “You could have those things, too, Rom. You already have the house and from what I know about cars, your BMW Z5 is classified as a luxury vehicle. The only thing you’re missing is something you claim you never wanted and that’s marriage.”

  Romulus drank more soda.

  “What is it about marriage that turns you off?” Ramsey inquired.

  “It’s not marriage per se. It’s love.”

  “Okay. What about love, then?”

  Instead of being upfront about his lack of feeling when it came to such emotions, he said casually, “People fall in and out of love like it’s second nature. These women I date, they could not care less about love. They just want to ride up in my car, go out to these fancy restaurants. There ain’t no love. Women don’t know how to love.”

  “And what about Siderra? Do you think she knows how to love?”

  His vision slammed with his brothers. “What are you trying to say?”

  “I’m just asking you a question. Do you think Siderra Monroe knows how to love or would she just be another one of these random women you waste time and money on?”

  “Siderra is nothing like the women I date.”

  Thank God for that. Ramsey thought it but didn’t say it. He stuck to the topic at hand and asked, “Do you think Siderra loves you?”

  “We’ve been friends for ten years. I know she loves me.”

  “In that case, how can you generalize and say women don’t know how to love when you can admit to at least one woman who loves you?”

  Romulus shrugged it off.

  “Maybe the women ain’t the problem, Rom. Maybe it’s you.”

  Romulus narrowed his eyes. “I don’t know how to love?”

  “I wouldn’t go so far as to say that. I think everyone is capable of love to some degree. However, you’re my brother and there are certain things I know about you and one of those things is, you are detached from your emotions.”

  Romulus shook his head in defiance.

  “You are. You are so far detached, it’s scary.”

  Romulus stretched out his legs before threading his fingers together behind his head. His brother was right to a degree, but he didn’t know all the facts. “I like to keep my life free of drama. If that’s what you called being detached from my emotions, then so be it. I’m detached.”

  “Life is nothing but drama, Rom. People live. People die. People marry. Divorce. Life is messy. But it’s also good because it molds us—teaches us lessons, man.”

  “What has it taught you?” Romulus asked Ramsey.

  “How much time do you have?” Ramsey quipped. “Life has taught me not to give up. To work hard. One of the most important lessons life has taught me is to love hard because you never know when that will be the last time you see that person or the last time they’ll see you. What I meant by you being detached was, you can turn off your feelings because you’re afraid of getting hurt. That’s why you don’t date women who have substance. You date these bubbly airheads and I guess they make you feel good about yourself momentarily, but truth be told they’re doing you more harm than good because with them in your way, blocking your vision, you can’t see what’s right in front of your face.”

  Romulus stood up, stretched and said, “Okay, I’ll take that as my cue to get up out of here. Thanks for the soda.”

  “No need to run off,” Ramsey said amused. “You need to open up and let some things out. Sit down. I wasn’t done.”

  “Nah. I think I’ve heard enough. I’ll catch you at the office on Monday.”

  “Alright, Rom. Be good, bruh.”

  “Yep.”

  Chapter 3

  Siderra

  I spent a good part of my Saturday embroidering kitchen towels to read stay out of my kitchen – a special order for one of my regular customers. She wants eight of them on yellow and white checkered towels. At the moment, I only have four of them done, well I shouldn’t say only because with the detail of a pig holding a frying pan in a threatening manner in addition to the wording, I think I did pretty good to have gotten four completed. The rest will have to wait until I have some downtime tomorrow, or maybe Monday when I open the shop again.

  I lock the front door, take the money from the register and place it in the safe. As usual for a Saturday, my shop was busy with people looking for gifts while some were just shopping for themselves. Most people come by to browse the selection of specialty, handcrafted items (most of which are made by me.) I make earrings, bracelets, crochet items and paperweights, although crocheting and embroidery is my specialty. And, I use my store to sell other artists items on consignment – hand soaps, perfume, scarves, paintings and other miscellaneous items that generate a good stream of passive income for me.

  I’ve had this business for going on five years now – same location and all – after quitting a stressful, demanding corporate job in Ballantyne where Romulus lives. Ballantyne is still considered Charlotte but it’s like a suburb and is a ways away from Center City. People around here think you’re rich if you live in Ballantyne. It’s one of the most affluent areas of the city and is home to the PGA Quail Hollow Championship and major companies like ESPN and Snyder’s-Lance, Inc.

  Anyway, the job I had sucked. It paid the bills, but it was killing me mentally. I still can’t believe I made it there for a year – a job with such strict deadlines. Twenty-four hours to complete quotes. No room for mistakes. Everything had to be on point. And the culture was the same as I imagine it is at all corporate jobs – see who you can step on to get to the top of the ladder. Brown-nosing was encouraged. The managers walked around like kings and queens and expected to be worshipped. And the employees were awful – this person didn’t like that person. Grown women acting like savage
s to see who could get to the top first. Profanity was tossed around like it was common in a supposed professional environment. It sucked.

  It was Romulus who received most of my complaints about the job. He’d even given me a key to his house so, during my sixty-minute lunch break, I could go there and rest, get my head back together and make it another four hours at the office.

  It was also Romulus who told me he thought I had enough drive and talent to get out of that environment and do my own thing. Said every time he saw me, I looked like I was on the brink of having a nervous breakdown. I probably was. When you spend four years in college doing what you need to do so you can make it out here in this world, only to find that the world is waiting to beat you up with crap that don’t fall into your vision for your life, that’s the time to seriously sit back and evaluate some things. And that’s what I did. I took his advice. I got out and made the choice to pursue my passion for making things. For creating. I haven’t looked back.

  Working for myself brings me great fulfillment, but I yearn even more for other things I don’t have. At thirty years of age, there are things I want out of life besides a nice little shop. I want love. A family. A husband. Babies. And I’m tired of waiting. When I held baby Rianne in my arms that day for the first time, it confirmed it all. That’s the life I want.

  That’s why I’m starting to date again. I need to see what’s out there for me. I can’t wait around forever for Romulus to realize I’m into him. And that sucks because in my heart I know there will never be another man who will measure up to Romulus. It’s a fact I’m not proud to admit because I should’ve never given him so much real estate in my heart. Regrettably, I did, and that’s something I have to live with. Something I know I’ll struggle to get over.

  Speaking of Romulus, I can’t say I’m surprised I haven’t heard from him all day. He’s still upset, I’m sure, but I can’t worry about that either. I said what I had to say – what I felt at the moment and what I still feel right now. He has to know that when either of us gets involved in serious relationships, our friendship will change drastically and eventually phase out into nothing but mere hellos in passing.