by Tina Martin
I literally laugh out loud when she refers to Romulus as a knucklehead. When I stop, I say, “Sorry for laughing. I don’t want you to feel like I’m punishing you guys, Bernadette, but this is between me and Rom and it’s sort of a big deal. I don’t want to put the family in the middle of it.”
“Let me tell you something, Siderra. Avoiding a problem will not make it go away and it won’t make it any better.”
“I know, but I’m not the one doing the avoiding.”
Bernadette chuckled. “Ah, young love. I tell ya…”
“What did you say?” I ask.
“Back in the day when I thought I was Mrs. It, I had a crush on this handsome man named Mason St. Claire. He was good-looking. Carried himself well. All the women wanted Mason. And I wanted him bad, and when I say bad, I mean so bad I could feel it all the way down to my bones. But he wasn’t paying me no mind. I don’t care what I did to get his attention—he never noticed me. Finally, I decided to move on—see what else was out there—you know—test the waters. But no matter who I was with, I could never stop thinking about Mason. Does any of that sound familiar? Go ahead and admit it because I know it does.”
“Yeah, it does,” I say realizing that by telling me her own personal experience, Bernadette knows I’m in love with Romulus. How long has she known this?
“There’s no one better for Romulus,” she says. “I know that. Everybody knows that. Romulus knows it too, believe it or not, but even if he doesn’t want to admit it, how is it fair to us for you to forget about everybody else who loves and cares about you.”
I wave at two ladies walking into the shop and say discreetly, “I don’t want to do that, Bernadette, but I think the dinner is too much right now. This is still fresh. Maybe, somehow, Rom and I will find a way to be friends in the future. I don’t know.”
She sighs. “You know I love you like a daughter.”
She’s laying it on thick now. “Yes, I know. I love you, too.” I exhale a breath. “I tell you what…I’ll try to make it on Sunday, but briefly. After I see everybody, I’ll just take my food to-go.”
“Okay. I can work with that. Thank you, Siderra.”
“You’re welcome, Bernadette.”
I hang up the phone and shake my head. I have no desire to attend this dinner. I wonder how upset she’d be if I don’t show up?
Chapter 18
Romulus
When he heard Siderra would be at the family dinner, he got himself ready to see her face-to-face again. He hadn’t talked to her in a week. Hadn’t said a word since she confessed she was in love with him. He wasn’t one hundred percent prepared to talk to her just yet even after therapy classes but one thing he knew was he missed her.
* * *
At his parent’s home, he pulled up in the driveway where he parked behind Siderra’s car and sat there for a moment to get his thoughts together. Time was of the essence and he was aware that it was now or never. He needed to choose his words carefully. Needed to be sensitive to her emotions. Before, he was all about his feeling. He wasn’t too concerned with hers. That had to change, starting today.
He got out of the car and took a deep breath right before he went inside. “Here goes,” he said under his breath. He expected to see her immediately upon entering but saw everybody but her.
“Hey son,” Mason said. “I started to send the cavalry to find you.”
He chuckled softly. “Hey, Dad.”
Mason pat him on the shoulder.
“Good evening, everybody,” Romulus said, looking at his family sitting around the table.
“What up, Rom?” Regal asked.
“Hey, Rom,” Ramsey said.
Gianna and Gemma spoke as Romulus took a seat at the table, his normal seat, but the seating arrangement had shifted. Gemma was to the left of him. His mother’s seat, to the right. Where was Siderra sitting if she wasn’t sitting next to him?
When Siderra came walking from the direction of the kitchen, it seemed everyone instantly got quiet. Laying eyes on Romulus, she knew why. She held his gaze for a heated moment then quickly looked away as she continued on to her seat – two seats away from him on the same side of the table – her idea. Sitting on the same side would give her peace of mind knowing he wouldn’t be staring at her the whole evening. She already didn’t want to be there. At least she could be comfortable with this new seating arrangement.
Bernadette walked in with a big pot and placed it in the center of the table.
“Smells good Ma,” Regal said. “Ay, Dad I think Mother should live with me for a while so I can eat right.”
Mason chuckled. “I think with as much money as you make, you can afford a personal chef.”
“I could…I’m just not ready to go there just yet.”
“What are you waiting for?” Mason asked.
“You know what he’s waiting for, Dad,” Ramsey said.
“What’s that?”
“He’s waiting for a woman to come up in there and cook.”
Regal nodded. “Yeah, like you got,” he said looking at Gianna. “By the way, where are my personal cupcakes, Gianna?”
Gianna laughed. “I’m sorry, Regal. I’ve been so busy with the baby, I haven’t made any.”
“I see,” he said, his lips pursed. “I’m getting treated like an outcast around here.”
“Ay, you gon’ stop harassing my wife about some cupcakes. The bakery is open. If you want some cupcakes, stop by one day after work. Beth will have some ready for you.”
“I don’t want Beth’s cupcakes. I want Gianna’s cupcakes,” Regal said, sounding juvenile. “Buying cupcakes from Beth would be the equivalent of wearing a knockoff pair of Gucci shoes. Yeah, they may look good, but you better believe they are going to fall to pieces. And guess what? Your boy don’t want no crumbly, fall-to-pieces cupcakes from Beth.”
“Alright, stop your mess, Regal,” Bernadette said, bringing in sweet rolls and a pitcher of sweet tea. “This is the last of it, everybody.”
“You made chicken and dumplings?” Romulus asked.
“I did.”
“I haven’t had your chicken and dumplings in quite some time,” he said. “You’re trying to put us in a coma this evening, I take it.”
“I figured I’d give everyone a treat tonight with some comfort food. We all can use a little comfort these days.”
“You can say that again,” Regal said. “I need all the comfort I can get. It’s hard out here for a bachelor.”
Ramsey grinned. Regal acted like he was struggling all alone in that big house of his when all he was missing was a wife. If only he would come to that conclusion…
Mason blessed the food and Bernadette passed the bread.
Romulus glanced to his left over at Siderra watching as she took a roll from the basket. He had yet to say anything to her. She hadn’t said a word to him. Whose idea was it for her to sit so far away from him? Probably hers. Could he blame her?
“Oh my God. I’ve been kissed by an angel,” Regal said after dipping the roll in the soup and pretty much inhaling it.
Gianna, Siderra and Gemma laughed. Bernadette giggled too.
“Regal, do you and that roll need some privacy,” Royal asked.
“Nah. I want all y’all to see how a hungry man eats. Maybe then you will have pity on me.”
Midway through dinner, baby Rianne’s little cries could be heard from the living room where she was asleep in her car seat. The chatter and laughter from the dining room woke her up.
Gianna was about to stand up when Bernadette said, “Go ahead and eat, Gianna. I got her,” then rushed off to get her granddaughter.
As good as his mother’s soup was, Romulus forced himself to eat it. The tension between him and Siderra was growing into something massive – something that could’ve easily been squashed if they weren’t avoiding each other. The silence between them was only making matters worse.
Bernadette was back with the baby, walking back and forth near the di
nner table, trying to calm her.
“She probably needs to be changed,” Gianna said.
“Okay. Where’s the diaper bag?” Bernadette asked.
Gianna took the bag from the back of her chair and handed it to Bernadette.
Bernadette took Rianne to another room to change her diaper.
Romulus glanced up at Ramsey. He was busy chatting with Gianna.
Royal was enjoying his dinner with Gemma. They were feeding each other – newlywed style.
Mason and Regal were busy stuffing their mouths like the world’s end was tomorrow.
Then there was him and Siderra…
He leaned forward to see her stirring soup aimlessly, mind probably flooded with thoughts just the same as his. He’d never been in the same room with someone yet so far away in every way imaginable. He had to put an end to it.
Since everyone else were busy talking amongst themselves, he stood up and took a few steps over to where Siderra was sitting. He leaned down and spoke softly into her ear, “Can I have a word with you in the kitchen, please?”
“No,” she said. “Now is not the time or the place.”
“Perhaps we should just talk right here in front of everybody.”
Siderra sighed. She didn’t want to talk to him, but she didn’t want to cause a scene either so she pushed away from the table.
Romulus walked to the kitchen where he leaned up against the counter with his arms crossed.
Siderra stepped into the kitchen reluctantly. The moment she did, she immediately regretted the decision. She didn’t like his stance. His arms were crossed like he dared her not to show up.
And there she was giving in to him yet again, still weak at the knees just by the mere sight of him – standing tall in a pair of jeans and a solid, black tee. She hadn’t spoken to him in a week and all she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and bathe in his scent – one she loved more than the finest cologne. But she couldn’t do that. She had to stand by her word and not cave into the strong pull of his charm and her unfulfilled desire of being loved by him. A week had gone by since she read words straight off of her heart to him. Surely he would’ve had something to say that didn’t require an entire week to put together.
“I’m here,” Siderra said, crossing her arms, keeping her distance from him. She stayed across the room, on the other side of the island.
“I can see that,” he told her, taking in the beauty of her smooth, chocolate face. How had he not noticed how her skin glowed so beautifully before? How her hair shaped her face so well? How her lips looked puckered and kiss-ready?
“I would really like to get back to my dinner, so—”
He narrowed his eyes and stroked his beard. “Why are you standing so far back like you’re afraid to be close to me?”
A frustrated sigh left her lips. “You asked me to come to the kitchen. I’m in the kitchen. What’s the problem?”
“The problem is, I don’t like the distance between us.” He meant that physically and figuratively. He didn’t like the week that separated them just like he didn’t like the island between them now. “Come here.”
Siderra tightened her crossed arms, defiant. “No. I’m fine right here.”
And just like that he was thrown off script of what he’d planned to say. She didn’t want to close the distance between them? Fine. He’d take the liberty of doing it himself.
He took a few easy steps towards her, never taking his eyes off of her as he crossed the floor. He stopped directly in front of her and said, “That’s better.”
“What do you want, Romulus?” she asked, barely looking at him.
“Oh…I’m Romulus now,” he asked. Then he paused, took a second to consider her feelings over his own – something he’d learned in class. It would help to keep the arrogance at bay. Well, some of it. “When did you fall in love with me?” he asked her.
“What does that matter? It’s not like you want me. What’s it to you?”
“Just answer my question, Derra,” he said, taking a step forward, crowding her space even more. “When did you fall in love with me?”
She took a step back, her butt touching the island.
He took a step forward.
“Will you back up off of me? I would hate for your family to get the wrong impression.”
Romulus gripped her by the waist, picked her up and placed her on the island’s granite countertop. Standing between her legs, he asked, “What do you think they’ll think now?”
“Rom—”
He tilted her head up with a slight nudge and took her lips hungrily. She tried to push him away again, but he kept on kissing the anger right out of her until he felt her body relax in his arms and heard her release a few moans.
He pulled his mouth away from her and whispered his question against her damp lips. “When did you fall in love with me, Derra?”
“It’s been years.”
“Years?” he questioned, his forehead pressed to hers.
Siderra gasped and closed her eyes. Being this close to him after going a week without any sort of interaction had given her a contact high.
“I miss you, Derra. Do you miss me?”
A mist of tears came to her eyes. “Rom, you can’t keep doing this to me.”
“Hear me out. I’ve taken this week to think about your feelings for me and my feelings for you and—”
She cut him off and said, “And you don’t know why or how I fell in love with you. You don’t understand how I single-handedly screwed up our friendship by having actual feelings. You want things to go back to the way they were.”
“I want us to go back to when we were happy in each other’s presence—to when you were happy. I haven’t seen you genuinely happy for some time now and if that’s because of me, I’m sorry.”
He cupped her face in his palm and moved her head up so she was looking up at him.
Siderra stared into his eyes when he said, “I have a confession to make, Derra—a few of them actually. Seeing you with Jamar angered me. Yes, I was jealous because, in my mind, you belonged to me. In my heart, you belonged to me. In a way, you’ve always been mine, but three months ago when I stopped dating, I was certain you were the woman I wanted, Derra.”
She looked confused. “What?”
“I’m in love with you, too.”
“You are?” she asked frowning, her eyes glistening with tears.
“I am.”
“But why—why have you never said anything?”
“Because I don’t know how to love you and I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered as his hands grazed the sides of her soft face. His nose touched her nose. Lips flirted with her lips. Their mouths welded together with unsettled heat. Tongues came together. Moans from them both filled the space around them and for a moment, he let go of all his worries about how he would connect with her on this level and just…connected. Kissed her. Already he’d determined that kissing her was far better than when he’d kissed any other woman. It meant more. It had real feelings behind it. The only thing close to this feeling was the last time he kissed her.
She licked her lips when he ended the kiss.
He licked his.
Neither of them said a word. They just looked at each other as if to mark this moment in time when their friendship jumped the thin line and matured into a full-fledged relationship.
“We have a lot to talk about,” he said.
“We do,” she agreed.
“For now, let’s go finish dinner with the family, okay?”
“Okay.”
He grabbed her by the waist and helped her off the island. After taking another quick kiss, they walked into the dining room together. He pulled out her chair, made sure she was comfortable before he sat down and served himself a ladle of soup. He could eat now that he was back on good terms with Siderra.
He leaned forward to look at her briefly. Smiled. She was eating, too.
He glanced up at Regal and saw a smirk on his face.
“Okay…ain’t nobody going to comment on what just happened?” Regal asked, glancing around the table.
“What are you talking about, Regal?” Romulus asked hiding a smile.
“I’m talking about the make-out session you and Derra just had in the kitchen.”
Derra’s face flushed with embarrassment when she felt all eyes settle on her.
Bernadette walked back to the dining room with a much happier baby Rianne.
“I’m glad you back, Mother,” Regal said. “Romulus and Derra have been doing something unholy in your kitchen.”
Siderra laughed.
“You sound jealous, Regal,” Romulus said.
“What did I miss?” Bernadette asked.
“Seems Romulus put the moves on Siderra in the kitchen and we were all sitting here betting on how long it would take Romulus to put a ring on it,” Mason said. “Ain’t that’s how y’all say it? Put a ring on it?”
“Nice, Dad,” Regal said.
“They got you in on the shenanigans too, Pops?” Romulus asked, amused.
“I had nothing to do with the bet,” Ramsey said.
“Me either, Rom,” Gianna said.
“Neither did I,” Gemma added.
“Oh, now, everybody wanna play innocent,” Regal said. “Royal, tell everybody how much you bet.”
Royal laughed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, man.”
Bernadette looked at Romulus and asked, “What is your crazy brother talking about?”
“I told you, Mother,” Regal jumped in to say. “Romulus whispered something in Siderra’s ear. They snuck off to the kitchen. Next thing we know, pots and pans are clanking together and a bunch of moaning and lip-smacking was going on.”
Siderra shook her head as a smile tightened her cheeks.
“Don’t listen to Regal, Mrs. Bernadette,” Siderra said, tickled. “Nothing like that happened.”
“What did happen?” Bernadette asked.
“I told you, Ma, but you ain’t hearing me,” Regal said. “Let me put it in a way you’ll understand. You see that precious little baby girl you’re holding? You’re going to be holding another one real soon.”
