by Tina Martin
Siderra couldn’t help but join the rest of the family in laughter. When she could focus again, she said, “We just talked, Mrs. Bernadette.”
“Actually, it was more than that.” Romulus took a napkin, wiped his mouth and said, “I told Siderra I was in love with her.”
“Thank you, Jesus,” Bernadette said. “Finally.”
“Well, that’s all right,” Mason said.
Ramsey cracked a smile.
“Aw,” Gemma said with a hand over her heart. “That’s so sweet.”
“So, when is the wedding?” Regal asked, teasing. “I got money on this.”
“Won’t be long,” Romulus replied. “We just have a few kinks to iron out.”
And the room went quiet.
Siderra had just gone to her mouth with a spoonful of soup when she started coughing and choking.
She patted herself on the chest and took a sip of water to clear her passages.
“Something wrong, Derra?” Romulus asked, leaning forward to see her.
When her ability to speak came back, she said, “We just, um—you just told me—”
Romulus stood up and said, “We’re going to cut dinner short this evening, Mother. Me and Derra got some talking and reacquainting to do.”
“I bet you do,” Regal said.
Siderra stood up and said, “Goodnight everybody.”
“Goodnight,” the family said back.
Romulus escorted Siderra to the door and on the walk to her car, he asked, “Can we go to your place and talk?”
“Sure,” she said.
“Alright. I’ll be right behind you.”
“Okay, Rom.”
He opened her door, saw her safely inside, then walked to his car and backed out of the driveway.
Chapter 19
Siderra
As soon as we enter my apartment, I find myself pinned to the wall with a mouthful of tongue as I try with all my might to breathe through my nose. Romulus is glued to me, kissing me harder than he did at dinner – kissing me like he’s sharing my air supply and if he breaks away from me, he’ll die.
I relish the feel of his lips again. I feel myself becoming intoxicated already. This kiss says you belong to me. It says things he was reluctant to admit before. Says I’m his and he wants me to know it.
He pulls his lips away from mine the same way he did at dinner, and gives me this look like he can’t believe we shared yet another kiss.
I can’t believe it either.
“Rom,” I say, taking him out of his trance, my breaths still heavy.
“Yes.”
“Are you okay?”
“I am. I’m just standing here trying to figure out why I waited so long to do this.”
I smile, blush, still in awe that he actually wants me. Loves me. I look into his deep, black eyes and see my future. I see our children. I see our happiness. Everything I ever wanted is standing in front of me.
“Should we sit down?” I ask. He still has my arms nailed to the wall, keeping me captive. His heart is drumming so loud, the beats rumble through me like a passing quake.
“Romulus?”
“Yes, we should sit down,” he finally answers.
He lowers my arms. I wiggle my shoulders to readjust muscles I never use. I’ve never been pinned to a wall before. As long as the person doing the pinning is Romulus, I look forward to being his prisoner again.
I follow him to the sofa, one we’ve shared so many times before watching movies and playing games. Eating popcorn. Cuddling. Chilling. This time, he’s different. I’m different. This time, he’s mine. Like, all mine. (I think.)
“I don’t know where to begin,” he says. Looking at my lips. He smiles.
Good lawd, he’s beautiful. Smile and all…
He takes my hand, caresses it and asks, “When did you fall in love with me, Derra?”
“I told you…it’s been years…like a long time ago,” I answer truthfully.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because I knew you didn’t like me in that way and I didn’t want to lose you as a friend.”
“But you were willing to lose me now?” he asks.
“No.”
“So, why tell me how you feel now and not back then?”
“Back then, I could handle pretending not to be in love with you, but recently, I realized I couldn’t do it anymore.”
He nods, making sense of what I’m telling him. “I could detect the change in your personality, and when I was sure you were into me, I stopped dating.”
“You stopped dating because of me?” I ask. That revelation surprises me.
“Yes. I needed to prepare my heart for you. Learn who I was as a man—discover the kind of man I could be to one, phenomenal woman.”
I nudge him. “Stop playing with me.”
“I’m not,” he says. “You are a phenomenal woman, Siderra, and one of my very smart brothers warned me that I’d be a fool to let you walk out of my life.”
“Do you believe him?”
“Most definitely. You’re one in a million.”
“Rom,” I say quietly, my heart melting. “Okay, wait,” I say still processing and digesting. “If you stopped dating because of me, why didn’t you tell me?”
“I wasn’t ready for you and I still don’t think I’m prepared enough to be the man you deserve.”
He looks worried, but I’m not sure why. He doesn’t have to change a thing about himself to satisfy me. I’ll take him just the way he is –flaws and all. “What do you think you have to change for me?”
“Who I am.”
“I love who you are, Rom,” I say squeezing his hand. We lock eyes for a moment.
“I know you do, but I’m seriously flawed, Derra. You see the good in me and I’m grateful for that, but I’m not as good of a person as you are. I’ve been trying to work on myself. Still, you far surpass me on so many levels. I—”
He hangs his head and takes his hand away from mine. “I’m going to be brutally honest. I’m not good for you.”
“Rom—”
“Let me finish. I’m not good for you. Knowing that, I’m also not willing to let you go so you’ll have to find a way to work with me.”
He sounds conflicted. I don’t understand what he means by not being good enough for me and all that nonsense because he’s the man of my dreams. The fact that he’s my best friend is an added bonus.
“Tell me what’s on your mind,” he says.
“Why do you think you’re not good for me? You’re making me nervous.”
“You know me as a friend, not as a lover. I won’t be the same person as your man.”
I nod and pretend I’m not fazed by the fire in his eyes. “Okay…I think I understand what you mean.”
“Do you?” He smirks in an arrogant way.
“Yes.”
“Tell me this—who’s moving in with who?”
I laugh, but his face is as straight as it can get. “Oh. You’re serious.”
“I am. Yes.”
“Rom, we just admitted to being in love with each other and—”
“And what are we waiting for? You say you think you understand me, right?”
“Yes, but—”
“I like having control of situations in my life—not control of you—of situations. I don’t see a need to delay the inevitable. Are you moving in with me?”
I frown and snap my head back for a moment to see if he’s really serious. “Rom, can you pump the brakes for a minute? Let’s take this one step at a time. So, we each have our own individual lives to consider—”
“No,” he says, interrupting me. “We’re one entity now. Our lives are blended. That’s what you wanted, right?”
“Yes.”
“Then that’s what you got. Are you moving in with me?”
“Is that what you want?” I ask although I’m certain it’s what he wants.
“Yes. That’s what I want,” he responds, staring at my lips.
“Okay,” I say, blowing an even breath. He can be so intense at times.
He gets off of the sofa, lowers himself to his knees in front of me and stares. Without looking to see what he’s doing, he spreads my legs apart, grips my butt then jerks my body forward and asks me, “Am I sleeping on the sofa tonight?”
“Do you—do you want to sleep on the sofa tonight?” I ask, brushing my fingers across his beard.
“I should, but I don’t want to,” he says. He literally takes my legs and secures them around his waist like a belt. He stands straight up. I wrap my arms around his neck so I don’t fall. I’m sure he won’t let me.
“Rom,” I say, feeling my body energize in his arms.
“Yes,” he answers, still walking, holding me like I don’t weigh a thing.
“Where are you taking me?”
“To your bedroom,” he says.
He walks into my room, takes me straight to the bed. My mind becomes fully aware that he’s on top of me. On my bed with me. My breathing is erratic. I’m looking up into his eyes. I see my friend, but I also see the hunger of a beast. A lover.
He attacks my mouth, fills it with his tongue. Stroking it. Sucking my lips. I hear him growl – the same way he did before when he kissed me. He releases my lips and begins nibbling on my neck.
“Rom,” I whisper as he bathes me with kisses.
“Yes, baby.”
Baby. I’m baby now.
“We should slow down,” I say.
Meanwhile, I’m hyperventilating. If I can’t keep up with the kissing and growling, I’m sure I won’t be able to handle much else.
“Then, tell me to sleep on the sofa,” he says.
He’s still in beast mode, his iron-clad body hard against mine.
I smile through heavy breaths and ask, “Why?”
“Because I need to,” he tells me.
“You can’t slow down and stay in here with me?”
“No. Everything in me wants you, but I want to make you my wife before I put it in your life.”
I laugh, still panting for air.
He chuckles, too.
“Okay.” I take more breaths. “Sleep on the sofa.”
He smiles, kisses me. “And lock the door. Goodnight, Derra.”
“Goodnight, Rom.”
He gets up and helps me stand. Then he hugs me close, nearly squeezes the life right out of me.
“Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives,” he says. He leaves a kiss on my lips, then walks away, sofa bound.
I close the door to my bedroom, touch my lips and replay the events of the evening and night. I can’t believe me and Romulus are an item. And he’s all in. All take-charge and in control.
And I love it, just as much as I love him.
Chapter 20
Romulus
Romulus called Ramsey early to let him know he wouldn’t be in the office today. He didn’t have to explain why—just told him he had some personal business to attend to. Ramsey already knew what that personal business entailed.
When he got up this morning, he left Siderra’s apartment around nine to run some important errands. She was still asleep he assumed since her bedroom door was still locked. He knew she was usually up to open her shop by this time but maybe she’d decided to take the day off.
He returned about an hour later to find her sitting at the small kitchen dinette, sipping hot tea.
“Good morning,” he said, toting a paper bag with handles toward the table, placing it there. After one glance at her, he could tell she was exhausted as she usually was on a Monday morning. Her hair was tossed up in a high ponytail. She wore a big, gray T-shirt that hung off of her right shoulder, exposing the smooth, roundness of it that he quickly thought about skimming with his tongue. He had to keep his desires at bay – at least for the moment, anyway. They needed to talk this morning.
Slow things down.
Take it one step at a time.
But he wanted to take bigger steps…
“Good morning, Romulus,” she told him. She stood up and left her cup to embrace him. “How did you sleep?”
“Better than I’ve slept in a long time,” he said, looking at her. He leaned down to take a kiss – a small one – one that wouldn’t leave him craving her as much. It didn’t work. He breathed evenly to control his urges. “You haven’t eaten breakfast yet, have you?”
“No. I was just sitting here drinking this tea trying to decide if I wanted to open the shop today. I’m being lazy.”
“Well, you need a break sometimes. You’re always at the shop.”
“I have to be when it’s my only source of income.”
It won’t be your only source of income for long…
“Have a seat,” he said. “I brought us some breakfast. I figured we could eat and discuss some things.”
Siderra sat down and observed him as he worked. She wondered if he really knew how sexy he was or how sexy she thought he was just by simply removing food from a bag.
Romulus set two plates on the table. He took two muffins from the bag, put one on her plate and one on his. “I got some of the homemade jelly you like,” he told her, setting the small, plastic container on her plate. Then came some sausage links and eggs.
“Thank you,” she told him.
“You’re welcome.” He’d done this plenty of times before but this morning it had more meaning behind it. This morning, they weren’t just two friends sharing breakfast. They were on the brink of something deeper.
He sat down across from her and took in the beauty of her bare, morning face. He smiled, then looked down at his plate. He was one lucky man and he knew it.
“What?” she asked.
“I’ve always held you in high regard. Did you know that?”
“No, I didn’t know that. I thought you were nice to me because I was your friend.”
“Well, that too, but I thought you were the sweetest women I’d ever met.”
“Stop lying,” she said, chewing eggs slowly. The longer he stared at her, the more nervous she became.
“It’s true. I did, and I still do.”
Siderra took a sip of tea. “Okay, I have to say something.”
He gestured for her to proceed.
“I don’t want you to want me this way if you’re only doing it because you don’t want to disappoint me. If you don’t want to be with me—”
“I do want to be with you.”
“Then why haven’t you ever come to me and say, hey, Derra. We’ve been friends for a long time. Let’s see if we can turn this thing into something more. You never did that.”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Why not?”
“Were you not listening to anything I said yesterday? I didn’t know you were into me like that. Besides, I wasn’t ready for a woman like you. The women I was into—”
“Had nice bodies and super pretty faces. You always liked the girls who were so stuck on themselves—who didn’t have a care in the world except what shade of lipstick to wear with their skimpy outfits.”
“Come on…that’s what you think of me?”
“That’s who you were into. Don’t deny it.”
“I wasn’t looking for any real relationship, so I went for women who didn’t want anything in return.”
“Oh, they wanted something alright…”
Romulus grinned. “Whatever you’re referring to, it’s yours now.”
Siderra took a bite of a sausage link.
“It’s easy to love me as a friend, Derra, but do you think it’ll be as easy to love me as your husband?”
“Why do you keep talking like that?” she asked through a bright smile. “Just because we both agreed we should be more than friends doesn’t mean we have to automatically go to marriage?”
“Why not?” he asked casually. “People date to see if they’re compatible. To get to know each other. I already know everything there is to know about you. It’s like we’ve been dating this
entire time. I see no need in delaying what we both know is going to happen.”
“Marriage?” Siderra said.
“Yes. Marriage.”
Siderra felt a wave of heat consume her as she popped the small, plastic lid on the homemade jelly container and said, “But I thought you didn’t want to get married.”
“Am I not allowed to change my mind?”
“Of course,” she told him.
Siderra took the top off of her pre-sliced muffin and was about to spread jelly onto it when she saw a diamond ring – a gold one – sparkling on a tanned bed of nooks and crannies. She immediately glanced up at Romulus. “What is this?”
“It’s a four-carat ring that represents my commitment to you. To this. To us. It’s whatever you want it to mean where I’m concerned, but most importantly,” he said, lowering himself to one knee. “It’s a symbol of my love for you. You’re right. I never wanted marriage—that is until I realized you were everything I wanted. Siderra Monroe, will you marry me?”
Her hands trembled. Tears came to her eyes. She couldn’t believe this was happening.
“Derra?”
The tears in her eyes spilled over and ran down her face as she stared back at him in shock.
“Why are you crying?” he asked.
“I can’t believe you’re asking me to marry you,” she said, breathing heavy, nearly hyperventilating. “Am I dreaming? I’m dreaming, aren’t I? You’re not even here right now are you?”
“Derra,” Romulus said, taking the ring from the muffin. “You’re not dreaming. I love you. I want to marry you?”
“Are you sure?”
He chuckled a little. “Yes. I’m sure.”
“But we don’t have to get married so soon.”
“Yes, we do.”
“Why?”
“Because I have resolved in my heart that you are not like the others. Therefore, I’m not going to treat you like the others. You’re not just another woman to me, Siderra. You are the woman—the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. A woman I can’t live without. Will you marry me?”
Siderra wrapped her arms around his neck crying tears of happiness while her entire body trembled.
