by Tina Martin
Her tears, though happy ones, touched him – made him realize the seriousness of his actions and the depths of her love. He cleared his throat in an attempt to avoid becoming overly emotional.
“Yes, Romulus. I will marry you. I already love you so much.”
“I love you, too, girl.” He slid the ring on her finger, before taking a long, deep kiss, sealing their engagement.
Siderra looked down at her finger again and said, “I can’t believe this is happening.” She sniffled, while still eyeing the ring.
“It’s happening.” He stood up tall, kissed her forehead and wiped tears from her face before he sat down.
“Are we going to tell the family?”
“I’ll leave that up to you,” he replied.
“Then I’m calling your mother right now.”
He smiled as Siderra took her phone from her purse, dialed up his mother and told her the good news. She went into detail and told her how he had proposed as more tears came to her eyes.
Romulus looked at her and felt a deep sense of satisfaction knowing she was his forever. All he had to do now was apply the principles he’d learned in therapy. He was ready for this. He had to be. He couldn’t lose her.
Chapter 21
Siderra
Two weeks later, we’re standing in a banquet hall at The Ballantyne Hotel, minutes away from exchanging vows. I’m wearing a white, sleeveless gown with sequins and a train longer than the Amtrak. Romulus has on a black tuxedo with a red bow tie. His brothers are all dressed in black suits. They have bow ties, too.
I couldn’t pick a maid of honor so I made Felicity, Gianna and Gemma all maids of honor and bridesmaids – a chore they gladly accepted and shared.
The minister is speaking. Romulus and I are holding hands. He’s staring into my eyes and I’m gazing back into his, still in awe. Nervous and anxious. This handsome man, my best friend who’s becoming my husband is literally taking my breath away.
“I have something to say,” Romulus tells the minister. He looks at me and says, “Sometimes, when you’re too close to something or someone, you can’t see what’s right in front of you. That was the case with me. I’ve had you in my life for a decade. You’ve always been there for me. You’ve proven how much you love me time and time again. I’m so elated that now, you’re mine. I love you, Siderra. I love you with all of my heart.”
“I love you too, Romulus,” I say in full tears, feeling like I’m having an out-of-body experience. I’m marrying my best friend. I have to keep saying it over and over in my head to believe it’s real.
The minister announces us as husband and wife. The family applauds as we kiss. Romulus couldn’t give me a standard kiss – a safe public one – in front of our friends and family. He had to go all in. My oxygen was already in short supply, but he took that, too. Afterward, he speaks softly so only I hear him and says, “You’re my forever.”
After our first dance, we’re taking a champagne break. I’ve changed out of my silver, four-inch heels and opted for a pair of socks instead. My dress is so long, you can’t see my feet anyway and since I know we’re going to do more dancing, socks are my best option at the moment.
Bernadette and Mason are the only ones remaining on the dance floor. My mother is not one for parties and such. She’s sitting alone sipping champagne, ready to go home. She hasn’t been the same since dad passed.
Royal and Gemma are posted up at a corner table smooching like they’re remembering their wedding day and on the verge of recreating their honeymoon.
All the other guests are eating or drinking.
I break away from Romulus to take a trip to the ladies room, summoning one of my bridesmaids – Felicity – to help me with my dress. I don’t like the trend of changing out of the wedding gown to a different gown for the reception. I’ve earned this white gown and I intend on wearing it until the entire celebration is over.
When we come out, we run into Ramsey.
“You did it, now, girl,” Ramsey says.
I immediately look to see where Romulus is. He’s talking to Regal, standing near one of the bar stations.
“Yes, I guess I did, huh?”
Ramsey smirks. “Look, I’m sure you know how my brother is after ten years, but I’m still going to give you some advice.”
“Okay. What’cha got for me?”
“Be patient with him, Derra. He’s a work in progress.”
“Your mother told me the exact same thing.”
“That’s how you know it’s some good, sound advice,” he says. “It’s going to take time for him to adjust to being a husband.”
“Did it take you a long time to adjust?”
“No, but the circumstances were different. He’ll get used to it. Just be patient.”
“Okay. Thanks, Ramsey.”
“You’re welcome. Oh, and welcome to the family, officially.”
“Thanks.” I give him a brief hug.
“You’re welcome. Now, we’re just waiting for you to come onboard,” Ramsey says, looking at Felicity.
“You’re—you’re talking to me?” she asks Ramsey.
“I am.”
I witness Felicity’s face contorts into something awful. “I don’t know what you mean by that, but—”
He grins. “Oh, you know exactly what I mean.”
“Bye, Ramsey,” she says and quickly walks away.
Regal winks at her as he walks by. He’s heading in my direction with a smirk on his face. “You finally got him, huh?”
I smile. “More like he finally got me,” I say.
Regal nods. “Congrats, sis.”
“Thank you.”
He glances over at Romulus then looks at me. “You love him?”
A smile grows on my face. “Yes. Very much.”
“Good. Remember that conviction in your voice during the hard times.”
“Is that your advice to me, Regal?”
“It is. Look, Derra—everybody knows Rom is a lil’ different from the rest of us St. Claire’s. He’s smart as a whip—well, we’re all talented in that area—but more so, him.”
“Right, but he isn’t all that different from you guys. If you ask me, y’all are a lot alike. Rom is just—”
“Reserved,” he says. “A straight shooter in some ways. No one in the family is as reserved as him, though. It takes a lot to get to know who he really is and how he really feels about something.”
“You’re right about that,” I say.
“I’m right about everything I just said. I am proud he chose you though. There’s no one better.”
“Thanks, Regal.”
“Yes. Now, if you would excuse me, I have a bridesmaid to find,” he says. I have no doubt in my mind that he’s looking for Felicity.
Romulus grabs me from behind, cinches my waist and says with his face pressed to mine, “This is the happiest day of my life.”
“Mine, too,” I say, feeling his face beside mine. It truly is a happy day – the day I married my best friend.
* * *
Three days later, I’m fully moved into his house, his large, three-bedroom brick house with black shutters and white trim. There’s a two-car garage and an extra wide driveway. The landscape, impeccable. I used to joke about how clean and neat his place was for a guy. And he didn’t hire anyone to do the cleaning. He did it all himself, with a little help from me every now and again. There are hardwood floors throughout the bottom level. Dark brown ones. The kitchen is fancy enough to be the backdrop for a cable cooking show. Romulus has exquisite tastes in home décor from the light gray color on the spindles of the stair railing to the scones that grace the wall on the way up the staircase.
He has his own office – one that he rarely uses because he’s hardly ever home. Whenever he’s not at work, he’s usually at a restaurant or my apartment. Now that I no longer have an apartment, maybe the home office will see some use.
The two extra bedrooms are decorated to their own color scheme that
matches the bed covers and curtains, but no room is like his bedroom. His room is a romantic haven – has a fireplace encased in arraying tones of brown stone. There’s a thick, gray and white brick pattern rug that extends from underneath the bed. The room is all earth-tone colors. The wall is a dark, coffee brown. The king-size bed that’s in competition with the fireplace as the room’s feature boasts a caramel-colored headboard that stretches to the ceiling – a ceiling that boasts recessed lighting which adds to the romantic feel in the bedroom. There’s a big bungalow chair filled with pillows near the fireplace. I helped him pick out those pillows. The large bathroom is decorated in the same masculine color scheme.
I’ve been here before. Many times. These last few days, I’m not a visitor. It’s my home now.
My apartment is empty. I notified the landlord it’s available, a weird feeling since I’m so used to living above the store. Now, someone else will occupy that space.
Speaking of the store, it’s been closed while I settle into my new life and new role as Romulus’ wife. And he’s been off work, too, with the exception of today. He went in for some important company business—some land disputes he told me without going into too much detail – and since he’s occupied today, I decided to spend some time with Gianna.
“Hey, Mrs. Newlywed,” Gianna says. She answers the door holding a wide-awake Rianne. I instantly turn to mush and reach to hold her, then follow Gianna to the kitchen where there’s a spread of food on the island.
“What’s all this?” I ask. “Are you having a party?”
“No. I told Carson you were coming over so he offered to make lunch. He says it’s a midday Mexican Fiesta.”
“It smells good. Thanks, Carson. You know it’s just me and Gianna, right?”
“I do, madam, but I make the best for my family.”
“Carson’s the best,” Gianna says. She reaches for Rianne. “Here…let me put her in the crib so you can eat.”
“Okay,” I say, even though I’m not ready to let the baby go, but I need to. This food smells good and I have something important to talk to Gianna about.
I make a plate of food while waiting for her to return. I try an enchilada and a chicken chimichanga with salsa and guacamole.
“Good?” Carson asks me.
“Yes,” I say grabbing a napkin. “This salsa is some of the best I’ve ever had.”
“I told Carson he should open his own restaurant,” Gianna says, grabbing a plate as she returns.
Carson smiles. “I’ll give you ladies some privacy now. Call me if you need anything, madam.”
“Will do. Thanks, Carson.” Gianna tried the guacamole with a plain chip. “How are you settling in at your new home?”
“Surprisingly, it’s been an easy transition. I thought I would be pulling my hair out, but Rom is very accommodating and understanding, but—” I stop. I need to talk about this, but I don’t want to.
“But what? What’s wrong?”
I release frustration and worry in the form of a sigh and say, “It’s probably nothing, but Romulus hasn’t touched me since we’ve been married.”
“And by touch you, you mean—”
“He hasn’t made love to me. He’ll kiss me, caress me, but as for anything else—nope.”
Gianna’s eyes grow big. “That’s not normal.”
“Tell me about it. At first, I thought he was waiting for me to get settled in, but I’m settled and—”
“And still nothing?” Gianna asks.
“Nothing,” I confirm. “It’s like he’s still in friend mode when we should be in husband and wife mode.”
“Maybe he’s not ready to cross that line.”
“Was Ramsey like that with you?”
“Um…somewhat, but now girl, I can’t keep him off of me. He has no choice in the matter now though, while my body’s still healing after the C-section so he can’t really do anything, but trust me, he finds other ways. I’m getting hot just thinking about it.” She fans herself.
I smile a little, just enough for her to know I’m listening. “I always had this theory that the reason Romulus never tried to date me was because he wasn’t attracted to me in that way. I would hate to think that’s also the reason he doesn’t want to make love to me.”
“Oh, he’s attracted to you alright. You’re beautiful, girl.”
“So why won’t he touch me? I feel like he took me off the market so another man couldn’t swoop in and take me away.”
“You really think Romulus would do something like that?”
“I don’t know. I just know I’m craving him and he’s not craving me.”
“Maybe an open conversation will do the trick.”
“It would be a start,” I tell her, “But can you imagine how awkward it would be if he brushes me off? That’s what I fear. Romulus is not so forthcoming with how he really feels about certain situations.”
“I know, but that’s not going to work in a marriage. Trust me, I’m talking from experience. Besides, I don’t think he would brush you off. Rom’s a good guy.”
I take what she says into consideration although I’m still uneasy approaching Romulus with the subject. For now, I enjoy her company and indulge in more enchiladas.
Chapter 22
Romulus
“I’m about to head out,” Romulus said to Ramsey. “Hit me up if you need anything.”
“Ay, don’t rush off,” Ramsey said. He pulled his glasses from his face, set them on the desk, then looked at his brother. “How’s married life?”
“It’s an adjustment.”
Ramsey raised a brow. “An adjustment? That’s an unexpected answer.”
“What I mean is, I have to get used to Siderra being in the house.”
Ramsey shook his head. “Don’t give me that nonsense, Rom. You’re already used to Derra being there. So what’s really going on? Give me an open, honest answer.”
Romulus sighed. “It’s not starting off as good as it should be and that’s my fault.”
“Are you still going to those therapy classes?”
“I am, but I have another problem now.”
“Which is?”
“I’m trying to avoid making love to her until I can figure out—”
“Wait. Stop. What?”
“I’m not a make love kinda guy. I don’t even consider myself romantic—none of that.”
“I don’t buy that one bit,” Ramsey said. “Mother told me the story of how you proposed with the ring hidden in a muffin. That was romantic. It would’ve gone down a lot differently if she took a bite, though.”
Romulus smiled a little, remembering. “I was going to make sure that didn’t happen. Look, I really love Siderra. I’ve never been with a woman that I actually loved—only ones I didn’t care about. Had no feelings for. I do have feelings for Siderra. I don’t want sex with her to be like the others.”
“It won’t be because you love her. You should be more concerned about what’s going through her head right now, man. Why not take her somewhere nice for your honeymoon? Stop looking at Derra as your friend. She’s so much more to you than that now, man. Show her.”
* * *
Siderra wasn’t home when he arrived. He immediately called her.
“Hello,” she answered.
“Hey, where are you?” he asked.
“At Gianna’s. I’m getting ready to leave now. Did you need something?”
“No—just wanted to know where you were.”
“Oh. I’ll be there soon.”
“Okay. Drive safe.”
“I will.”
Romulus placed the phone on the counter then glanced around the kitchen. He took off his suit jacket and decided to get started on dinner since it would take her at least forty-five minutes to get home. It was only three o’clock in the afternoon – plenty of time to prepare a real, unrushed meal.
Thinking it would be easy to make a pot roast, he got a big pot and gathered the ingredients. By the time he’d finis
hed tossing the veggies in the pot, he heard Siderra walk in.
“Honey, I’m home,” she sang out.
“I’m in the kitchen, Derra.”
She walked there, saw him at the stove with his sleeves rolled up. She smiled. “What are you doing?”
He turned around, met her eyes. “Cooking dinner, beautiful.”
“In your work clothes?”
“I didn’t want to waste time changing.” He wiped his hands on a kitchen towel, walked up to her and kissed her on the cheek before returning to the stove.
Siderra followed him. She circled her arms around his torso, inhaled his scent and asked, “How long will it take to cook?”
“A little over an hour.”
“Good. That means we have a little over an hour to play,” she said, reaching for his belt buckle.
Romulus grinned uncomfortably. “Derra, we’ll play later, baby,” he said securing her wrists and moving her arms away from him.
“Rom—”
“I need to concentrate right now,” he said with more attitude in his voice than he had intended.
Siderra dropped her head and closed her eyes. “Rom, I don’t understand what’s going on here.”
“What don’t you understand?” he asked, but he knew the answer already.
“You’ve barely touched me since we’ve been married. I’m just going to come out and ask—are you not attracted to me?”
“That’s a silly question and you know it.”
“But you haven’t answered it.”
He looked her in the eyes when he responded, “Yes, I’m attracted to you.”
“Then why don’t you touch me?”
A look of defeat glowed on his face when he looked at her. He opened his mouth to speak. Words didn’t come out.
“You’re not attracted to me, are you?” she asked. “Just tell the truth. That’s why you haven’t planned a honeymoon. Why you don’t even come to bed the same time I do.”
