A Fox's Maid

by Brandon Varnell

  Then she started chuckling.

  “Ufufufu… how nice. Those two seem to be such good friends.”

  ***

  “Ga… ha… ha…”

  Kevin made for a very pitiful sight, laid out as he was on the ground like something a semi-truck had run over, his mouth gaping and his dry tongue hanging out. Frogger had nothing on him.

  The muscles in his legs ached in ways they never had before. An unusual tiredness seeped into his bones, making them feel frail and brittle. Kevin didn’t think he’d ever felt so exhausted in his life.

  Despite all that, he felt good. Accomplished. He had just managed to prove himself superior to his rival—and for the first time since the track meet last Wednesday (when he’d almost gotten his ass kicked by a trio of goons), it was a truly decisive victory. Finally. Finally Kevin had managed to earn enough consecutive wins over Kasey Chase that he could say, with absolute certainty, that he was the faster runner between them.

  He looked to his right, his lips peeling back into a grin. “Looks like I… like I win… again… Chase…”

  “Heh… heh… shut up…” Chase mumbled through his own heavy breathing. If Kevin looked pathetic, then Chase looked like death warmed over. He, too, was lying on his back on the grassy area of the track field, sucking in oxygen like a vacuum, his tongue lolling out of his gaping maw akin to a panting dog.

  All around them other members of the track team practiced. Some ran down the field, while others stretched. A few were also practicing the high jump, the long jump, and even pole-vaulting.

  Coach Deretaine was busy monitoring the pole-vaulters. It was a dangerous sport, and he would get in trouble if someone accidentally stabbed themselves because they weren’t using the equipment properly, or because they were being stupid and trying to act macho.

  Stranger things had been known to happen, especially dealing with a bunch of hormone-driven teenagers who loved getting into the my-dick-is-bigger-than-yours arguments.

  “Man, you two look like crap.”

  Kevin lifted his head to glare at Eric as the pervy teen approached them, trailed by Alex, Andrew and Justin.

  “Thanks, man. Really, I appreciate you telling me something I already know.”

  “Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, Kevin,” Eric shot back. “You don’t have anywhere near enough bite to be sarcastic. You’re just too nice.”

  “Whatever.” Kevin let his head fall back onto the grass. It was cool and moist and it kind of tickled. He was really beginning to like this grass. He should do this more often. Who knows, maybe he and Lilian could go to the park and…

  Don’t go there, Kevin. He shook his head, dispelling the unwanted thoughts floating through his mind. The last thing he needed was to suffer a nosebleed during track practice.

  Eric ran a hand through his hair. “But, seriously, you two were really going at it. What’s up with you two anyway? I know you’ve always had it out for each other and everything, but don’t you think you’re going a little bit overboard?”

  “Not… in the… least,” Chase wheezed like a man dying from oxygen deprivation.

  Kevin would have nodded in agreement, but he was too tired… and still lying on the ground. That kinda hampered his neck’s range of motion. “There’s no such thing as going overboard, and I needed to show Chase, once and for all, that I’m faster than he is.”

  “… She said…”

  Everyone minus Chase and Kevin who couldn’t lift their heads stared at Justin, who returned blank looks with one of his own. After several seconds of awkward silence, they decided to ignore him and looked back at the two lying on the ground.

  “I don’t really want to agree with Eric, but I do think you guys are taking this rivalry a little too far,” Alex informed them.

  Andrew nodded in agreement. “Definitely too far. You two look like you're about to drop dead any second now. I think I saw a couple of corpses lying somewhere over there that looked more alive than you two.”

  “Don’t care.” Kevin was able to sit up now that he’d gotten his second wind. He still felt pretty drained though, and knew he wouldn’t be doing anymore running today.

  The sound of a whistle blowing pierced the afternoon air. Coach Deretaine’s hearty bellows echoed across the field moments later. “Good practice, everyone! Now get yourselves to that locker room and wash up! You smell like a bunch of unwashed jockstraps!”

  With a heavy sigh that belied how tired he felt, Kevin pushed himself to his feet. His legs were a little shaky and frail, like they were made of brittle twigs, but otherwise he was fine. Chase actually needed help standing, such was his exhaustion. Hanging between Alex and Andrew, his feet dragging along the ground, Chase looked about as intimidating as a wet kitten.

  “Don’t think you’ve beaten me yet, Swift. You might be faster than me now, but I plan on getting much faster. The next track meet we have, I’m gonna whip your ass. I’ll be so fast, the only thing you’ll see as I fly by is my afterimage.”

  “Yeah. Sure. Keep telling yourself that, Chase. Whatever helps you sleep at night,” Kevin retorted. “I’ll beat you anytime, anywhere. You’re never going to catch up to me. I’ll just keep getting faster and faster until you’re not even a speck on my radar.”

  Chase snorted as he was handed off to Coach Deretaine and dragged away.

  “Kevin!”

  Kevin’s lips twitched as Lilian ran across the track field, a bottle of ice cold water in her right hand and a towel in her left.

  Christine glared at the redhead from several yards back, trying to catch up with little success. Gothic lolita clothing and slippers were not made for running.

  When Eric saw the little lolita stomping behind Lilian, he raced toward her, his hands outstretched and making creepy squeezing motions, as if he could already feel Christine’s chest in his hands.

  “My Gothic Hottie! Oh, how I’ve longed to grab those tiny little pebbles of yours! Let me―guoah!”

  Everyone watched in mute silence as Eric’s body made an almost graceful parabolic arc through the air. He flipped end over end like an out of control acrobat, and then crashed to the ground with a loud thud! several feet away.

  “I’m not in the mood to deal with you today, perv!”

  Christine shook her fist menacingly at Eric’s pitifully moaning form, her face a startling blue as steam rose from her head like the chimney of a certain magical scarlet train.

  “Ugh… urk… I regret… nothing…”

  The group stared at the scene for several more seconds, then returned to what they were doing.

  “Lilian,” Kevin greeted, a strange warmth spreading through his chest. He did his best to ignore the butterflies that suddenly started fluttering inside his stomach, but it was very difficult.

  “Here.” The enchanting two-tails cheerfully held out the bottle of water and towel for Kevin.

  “Thank you.” Kevin reached out for the offered item. A jolt traveled through his hands as they came into contact with Lilian’s, traversing his arms and sending delectable shivers in their wake.

  “You did a really good job today.” Lilian smiled at him, and Kevin could swear his heart skipped a beat. “You beat your rival and made it look easy.”

  “NO, HE DIDN’T!” Chase’s familiar shout came from a distance.

  Lilian gritted her teeth and began shouting back. “YES, HE DID! YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS!”

  “AM NOT!”

  “YES, YOU ARE!”

  “NU-UH!”

  “SHUT UP!”

  Lilian’s cheeks puffed out in anger. Everyone present stared at her. When Chase didn’t yell back, she grinned and turned to Kevin.

  “I think this was your best practice yet.”

  “Ah, ahahaha!” Kevin’s embarrassed laugh was accompanied by a red stain spreading across his cheeks. “Y-you think so?”

  “Of course.” Lilian nodded effusively. “You were absolutely amazing, and I can tell you’ve been working really hard.”


  “T-thanks.”

  Kevin’s eyes flickered away from her uncertainly, but soon found their way back. She stared at him, unblinking, her enchanting green eyes gazing into his with a fondness he found hard to ignore. He would have wondered how anyone could look at another with such a loving expression, but forming coherent thoughts had become a chore.

  “Ahem!”

  A loud cough alerted everyone to the last member of their little troupe. Several jaws dropped when they saw the person standing before them. And why wouldn’t they? It wasn’t everyday they met such a pristine beauty, especially one wearing a traditional Japanese kimono.

  Especially one wearing a traditional Japanese kimono while also carrying a sheathed katana at her side.

  They had yet to notice the wakizashi.

  “Kevin-san.” The woman’s voice was so pleasantly lyrical that all the boys in her vicinity shivered, with those few who didn’t having already passed out from an epic nosebleeds. “I understand that you and she are fond of each other, but I must ask that you let go of Lilian-sama’s hands. You might get her pregnant.”

  “Get her pregnant?” Alex blinked. “Is this chick for real?”

  “Did you say something?” Kotohime’s eyes turned to Alex, who suddenly went paler than a ghost.

  “N-no.”

  “That’s what I thought.”

  Kotohime turned back to Kevin and watched as slow comprehension dawned in his eyes. He looked at the woman, then stared down at where his hands were still touching Lilian’s. Kevin jerked his hands back as if they’d been burned, dropping the water bottle and towel in the process. While he bent down to pick them up and hide the inflammation in his cheeks, Lilian sent her bodyguard a venomous look. She was really beginning to despise her maid’s interference in their relationship.

  When Kevin stood up, items in hand, it was to see Alex and Andrew surrounding him on both sides.

  “Hey, hey, Kevin.” Andrew cupped a hand to his mouth so he could whisper without being overheard. “Who’s the babe with the katana?”

  “And why is she wearing a kimono?” Alex added, eagerly leaning in.

  “That woman? That’s Kotohime.” Kevin looked at Kotohime. She was smiling placidly at Lilian, who looked like she wanted to tear the older kitsune’s hair out and strangle her with it. “As for the kimono… it probably has something to do with her character concept.”

  A pause.

  “Wait. What did I just say?”

  “Character concept?” The twins looked at each other in confusion. They had no clue what their friend was talking about.

  “Beloved!”

  While none of the humans understood the words coming from Kevin’s mouth, Lilian did, and she bolted toward him with a brilliant gleam in her eyes. She was so excited that she completely forgot about her decision not to call him “Beloved” anymore―

  “What the―wait! Lilian―OOF!”

  ―and that was how Kevin found himself being reintroduced to the wonderful valley that was Lilian’s cleavage. He fell on his rump as Lilian clung to him, liberally shoving his face into her chest. With the recent changes going on in his mind, he might have found this experience pleasant, if not for the fact that he couldn’t breathe.

  “You broke the fourth wall again! Oh, Beloved, I just knew there was a reason I loved you! You’re so amazing!”

  “Get off me,” Kevin tried to say. However, because he was being pressed face-first into Lilian’s cleavage, the words sounded more like, “Fef foff fu.”

  “Tee-hee,” Lilian giggled. In the wake of her mate’s accomplishment, she’d forgotten about her decision to give Kevin some space and earn his love naturally. “That tickles, Beloved.”

  “Is it just me, or are you also feeling insanely jealous of our dear friend?” Andrew twitched as he stared at Kevin.

  “It’s not just you.” Alex was also twitching. “I just want to know how he managed to get a girl like Lilian to fall for him.”

  “You and me both. It’s like the greatest mystery since we learned that Mei Misaki’s left eye was actually fake.”

  “Not only Lilian, but he’s also got that gothic chick after him now, too.”

  “I think her name is Christine.”

  “Right. Her. And now he’s got the babe with the katana.”

  “Kotohime.”

  “Right. Damn it, I wish I had a sexy older woman like her in my life. Oh, the things I would do with those succulent—”

  “You two do know that I can hear everything you’re saying, correct?” Kotohime interrupted, her serene, wondrous smile still in place. Alex and Andrew felt like the Shinigami had just come to claim their souls.

  They gulped.

  “… Blue…”

  The fraternal twins turned to stare at Justin like he’d sprouted a head from his ass, before realizing that their odd friend was actually talking about Kevin.

  “Hey, you’re right. Kevin’s face does look a little blue.” Alex looked at his twin. “Think we should help?”

  Andrew just shrugged. “Naw, he’s got this.”

  Several feet away, Christine had finally gotten over her shock at seeing her love-rival bowl over the boy she had mixed feelings for. When coherent thought finally returned to her, the girl did what any good tsundere in her position would do.

  “W-w-w-what the hell do you think you’re doing?! Get off him this instant!”

  She stormed over to the twin-tailed kitsune, shouting angrily and making demands that were completely unreasonable—to Lilian at least.

  “Why should I?” Lilian’s eyes narrowed at the ice maiden, daring the girl to try and take Kevin from her. She unwittingly tightened her arms around him, shoving his face even further into her breasts, further smothering him. “You’re just jealous because you can’t do this, Ms. Tsun-Loli.”

  “T-Tsun-Loli?!” Christine shrieked in outrage. “Stop calling me a loli! My chest is not that flat!” A pause. “And I’m not a tsundere either!” Another pause. “And I am most certainly not j-jealous! W-w-why the hell would I be jealous of some cow-titted skank like you?!”

  “Cow-titted?!” Lilian muttered angrily. “That’s exactly something I’d expect a little girl like you to say. Your constant boob envy is very unbecoming of a young lady.”

  “S-sh-shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up!” Christine stomped angrily on the ground, which began frosting as the careful control she had over her ice powers slipped. “I don’t have any b-b-b-b-boob envy, you stupid, big-breasted freak! You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

  Lilian flashed Christine a fanged grin. “Don’t I? Every time I even get a little bit close to Kevin, you go off like a mutt in heat. Face it, you’re jealous that Kevin likes me more than you. I don’t know why, though. It’s not like you two have a history together or anything. You’re just some random girl that he was nice to at the arcade one day.”

  Christine's face turned blue as steam billowed out her ears. “Be quiet! You don’t know anything!”

  While Christine and Lilian continued to argue, another conversation took place several yards away.

  “Do you think we should tell them that Kevin looks like he’s on death’s door?” Alex stared at his friend with a bit of concern. The young man had long since stopped flailing around, his arms now dangling limply at his sides. What little could be seen of his face was dark blue going on purple.

  “You think he’s on death’s door?” Andrew had to disagree. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already kicked the bucket.”

  “You may have a point there.”

  “… Out…”

  Once again, the twins stared very oddly at their friend. Justin had been acting even more unusual than normal lately. Considering how odd he normally acted, that said a lot.

  “Are you feeling alright, Justin?”

  “Yeah. You’ve been acting even slower than usual.”

  “… Fine… Kevin… not fine…”

  The twins felt sweat trickle down their s
calp.

  “Yeah, we kinda noticed that already.”

  Observing the group from a safe distance, Kotohime remained silent, her face stony. She did not approve of the girl’s choice in mate, for many reasons, and not because she disapproved of the boy himself. There were simply too many similarities between Kevin and someone else she’d known for her to feel comfortable with him.

  “Really, Lilian-sama,” she sighed, “did you have to choose a human for your first mate? Such a decision is bound to cause nothing but pain.” She did not receive an answer, of course, but she had not expected one either.

  While everyone had their attention focused on Kevin’s death-by-boob-asphyxiation, one salacious young man finally came to.

  Eric groaned as his eyes fluttered open. His jaw hurt where he’d received that brutal uppercut; he could feel it beginning to swell. It would probably need to be iced. For such a tiny girl, that Christine sure could pack a punch.

  “Just what I’d expect from my Gothic Hottie.” Eric winced, his jaw flaring as he opened his mouth. Okay, so speaking was a bad idea. He would have to remember that.

  Slowly but surely, he got off the ground. His ears were ringing and something was pounding in the back of his skull. He blinked several times, then looked around.

  The scene before him was one that he’d grown kind of used to. Kevin was on the ground, dead to the world, and straddling his legs was the Tit Maiden. Her arms were wrapped tightly around Kevin’s head as she shoved his face between her breasts, while the Goth Hottie angrily yelled in her face. It wouldn’t be long now before the lolita girl began trying to pull Kevin out of the Tit Maiden’s chest. They’d be physically fighting over him before Eric could say eroge, he was sure.

  It made him angry. Damn that Kevin! He knew one of Eric’s dreams was to die in the boobs of a beautiful woman! That bastard was accomplishing one of his life goals before him!

  After the moment of irrational anger passed, Eric moved on. He’d grown so used to seeing his friend’s fortune that he could simply ignore it… sometimes. Instead of watching Kevin get smothered by those amazing tatas, Eric observed the track field.

  It was mostly empty by now. Many of the track members had already left. The only people still present were his friends―no, wait. There was one other person present, someone he had never seen before.