Drift

by Victoria Patterson

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Table of Contents

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Epigraph

  Remoras

  Holloway’s: Part Two

  Castaways

  Tijuana Burro Man

  John Wayne

  Henry’s House

  John Wayne Loves Grandma Dot

  Holloway’s: Part One

  The First and Second Time

  Winter Formal: A Night of Magic

  The Locket

  Joe/Christina

  The Morning After

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Copyright © 2009 by Victoria Patterson

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

  For information about permission to reproduce selections from this book, write to Permissions, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 215 Park Avenue South, New York, New York 10003.

  www.hmhco.com

  The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:

  Patterson, Victoria.

  Drift : stories / Victoria Patterson.

  p. cm.

  ISBN 978-0-547-05494-0

  1. Newport Beach (Calif.)—Fiction. I. Title.

  ps3616.A886D75 2009

  813'.6—dc22 2008036768

  eISBN 978-0-547-39435-0

  v2.0714

  The following stories have been previously published in slightly different form: “The First and Second Time” in Freight Stories, Spring 2009; “Winter Formal: A Night of Magic” (originally titled “Winter Formal”) in the Southern Review, Winter 2009; “Joe/Christina” in Snake Nation Review, issue 22, 2007. “The Locket” won the Abraham Polonsky Award in Fiction.

  for Chris

  To be out of harmony with one’s surroundings is of course a misfortune, but it is not always a misfortune to be avoided at all costs. Where the environment is stupid or prejudiced or cruel it is a sign of merit to be out of harmony with it.

  —Bertrand Russell

  In 1870, Captain S. S. Dunnells guided a ship called the Vaquero into an unnamed harbor. Captain Dunnells, feeling distinctly uncreative, decided to call the harbor “Newport.”

  —From the 2005 Wikipedia listing, since revised for historical accuracy

  Remoras

  I MET ANNETTE when Jim hired us to work at Shark Island. The sun was setting and a golden light engulfed the restaurant, making everything look soft. I sat in the waiting area, an extended plush red bench near the front wood doors, with four other applicants—three women and one man. The women had a manufactured attractiveness: blond hair, blue eyes, tanned and toned bodies. The advertisement from the Orange County Register was crumpled in my pocket: “Hostess and Server wanted for fine dining establishment with excellent reputation—in Newport Beach. Experience a must. Ask for Jim.”

  My chances of getting the server position were good: I was better looking than the other man; he saw it and was slumped over, sighing. We were quiet but the restaurant was bustling, including a table of businessmen talking loudly, trying to impress the surrounding customers. A woman with the savage face of a plastic surgery client chattered piercingly into her cell phone.

  Separated only by an archway from the bar was the Shark Island Emporium, selling resort sportswear, cashmere sweaters, watches, leather jackets, belts, sunglasses, scented candles, even a cologne and a perfume; the polo shirts were embossed above the left breast with a half-inch-sized sleek black shark. All the merchandise had the logo planted somewhere: it announced membership in an exclusive club that, upon further consideration, wasn’t that select—most everyone in Newport Beach adorned themselves with Shark Island paraphernalia.

  Jim sat in a darkly lit booth near the back of the restaurant, making us wait. Behind his booth, a large tank posed as a wall, casting multiple wavy shadows over Jim, small sharks gliding through the water like black darts. Our résumés were stacked on his table, and every now and then, with an odd mocking smile, he looked at us from across the restaurant. I toyed with the idea of leaving: Fuck the interview; fuck Shark Island; and a final fuck you, Jim, for making me wait.

  Two men in light blue jumpsuits made last touches on an elaborate flower arrangement near the front doors—plucking a flower here, reinserting one there—and another man swept up debris, causing particles of dust to hang in the air like flecks of gold. Annette came through the wood doors and the dust looked like confetti celebrating her entrance. She glanced around nervously before she made an attempt to find Jim. I asked her if she needed help.

  “I am looking for a job,” she said softly. She had an accent that we later found out was Armenian. “It is so beautiful here, maybe I do not belong.”

  I mumbled something about how it was only an interview and not to worry. I told her that we were waiting for Jim and offered her my seat. Jim looked up from his paperwork, and he beckoned with his hand—you two, now.

  “The rest of you can leave,” he called out. “You’re not hired.” A few customers laughed, and the cell phone woman said, “Oh Jim, you’re so bad!” The wood doors creaked as the three women and the man exited.

  Jim watched us approach his booth and it was as if he was planning something. He was handsome, with wavy dark hair, but he reminded me of a ferret, like no matter how well he dressed or groomed himself, at any given second he might scurry under the table. Annette looked like she’d never seen the inside of a gym and that was fine by me. Her hair was silky and black and her dark eyes looked sad. I touched her elbow to direct her. She had this way of walking—both timid and seductive—her hips shifting, as if off balance, and it made me want to protect her. She wore a modest dress, fringed with lace, but her figure wanted to announce itself: here are my breasts, here are my hips, look at my legs; this is what a woman should look like.

  She smelled good. Jim liked her fragrance as well, asking what kind of perfume she was wearing.

  “Alleu,” she said.

  “What?”

  “Alleu,” she repeated.

  “Like hallelujah?” he asked.

  “No, alleu.” This went on until he had her write it down.

  “She’s trying to say Allure,” he said, smiling. “It’s Chanel.”

  Right then—because Jim knew the brand—I decided that he was gay and began to wonder if that was the cause of my hostility. I was used to battling other people’s assumptions that I was gay. Past girlfriends respected my sensitivity, sex went well enough, but while I valued a beautiful woman, I also appreciated a good-looking man. In my efforts to mollify suspicions, I’d manufactured an interest in sports for the better part of my life: tennis, baseball, basketball, and water polo. In my deepest, secret, most hidden self, I believed I was a little bit gay. The closest I’d come to testing my theory was in my fantasy life, and in my sex dreams, there was no stopping the vast ocean of my subconscious from tossing in man, woman, tree, animal, and on one particularly distressing occasion, albeit during the peak of puberty, my grandmother. My zealous attraction to Annette might have been overcompensation, but as usual, when it came to my sexuality, I couldn’t quite work it out.

  “You’re hired,” Jim said, before Annette had a chance to sit. “In fact, you’re both hired.”

  Annette looked at me quizzically, wanting to believe him. She sat in the booth next to Jim and her body relaxed. “But what do I do?” she asked.

  “What you’re already doing,” Jim said, touching her hair. “Look beautiful and innocent and be our hostess.”

  “Don’t confuse her,” I said.

  Jim set his hands in the air in mock horror.

  “No,” she said, “I understand.”

  Jim spread his arms along the back of the booth and turned his gaze toward the front of the resta
urant. A man carrying a bucket and a long pole was walking toward us with an air of importance.

  “Oh good,” Jim said, scooting over from the booth and standing. “Here comes Dale to fix my poor shark.”

  Dale had a weathered tan, and his severe facial features made him appear serious, even when he smiled for our introductions.

  “See,” Jim said, peering into the tank. He pointed—“There, there!”

  Dale stood back and we watched the shark; a long fish was attached to its underbelly, the space around where it was attached a dark, painful pink.

  “What’s happened,” Dale said, sober with authority, “is that your beautiful white-spotted bamboo shark is trying to scrape the remora off by rubbing”—he nodded to a bar extending across the tank for support—“against that steel rod. The remora swims under the rod and reattaches itself in the same position, and your bamboo shark is rubbing itself raw.”

  “I bought the remora to clean the tank,” Jim said, “not to kill my shark.”

  “Why does it stick to the fish?” Annette asked, a hand at her cheek.

  Dale prepped his pole; there was a metal nooselike device on the end of the pole, and what looked like a trigger to make it cinch around the fish and trap it. “Remoras have sucking disks”—he moved a planter and climbed onto a platform, his gaze steadfast on the shark and remora—“they’re smart; they don’t do much, except latch on to sharks and feed off their scraps.” His pole swept the pink crushed coral at the bottom of the tank and sand danced like specks of glitter.

  As the shark swam over the steel rod, the remora slipped into the noose and Dale pulled the trigger; the metal clasp clanked against the glass as he swung the pole from the water. The remora flicked its slick body and I caught a glimpse of its marble eye, cold and steady.

  “I want it gone,” Jim said, looking like he was about to sneeze.

  Dale released the remora into the bucket of water—a curl of black, its lower jaw projecting beyond the upper, armed with small pointed teeth. The sucking disk was an oval pad on the top of its head with a double row of movable flanges like venetian blinds.

  After Dale left, carrying his bucket and pole, we sat in the booth on either side of Jim. I imagined the remora curled inside the bucket, a skinny alien. Annette’s face had gone pale.

  “So,” Jim said, changing the subject, clapping his hands. “Two years out of USC. Business major. Why would you want to work here?” His fingers drummed along the table—one, two, three, four, one, two, three, four—waiting for my response. Annette looked interested.

  “Service is a noble profession,” I lied. “I’m interested in fine cuisines and wines.”

  “Liar, liar, pants on fire,” Jim said.

  Later, lying in bed, I came up with a more honest response: I could’ve told him the truth. I was being primed to work with my dad (he’d invented a new form of drywall and had made a fortune), but my parents’ recent divorce and its aftermath made me reconsider. I’d a nagging suspicion that my dad’s arrogance and sense of entitlement were morally wrong, and his leaving Mom for his younger secretary congealed my suspicions into a hard and bitter defiance. I lived with Mom, helped her lick her wounds; although she’d been Dad’s business partner, she was shut out, now working as a receptionist in a doctor’s office. Dad tried to buy me a Porsche to pay me off, but I drove an old rusted 1973 Chevy Impala instead. My ex-girlfriend complained that I’d never grow up, that I was afraid of success, and that it was a downright tragedy that a man of my intelligence would squander his days. She married a stockbroker soon after our breakup. Last week, I saw her big with her first baby in the parking lot of the post office, and I hid behind a Land Rover. Mine was a voluntary exile, an angry soul search. I had no real goals.

  In other words: I was all fucked up.

  The following afternoon, Jim was training me, going over wines, when a woman came in who looked familiar. She began walking over to us, even though she didn’t appear to want to. Jim pretended not to notice her, so she stood right in front of him until he had to acknowledge her.

  “Meet your replacement,” he said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

  “Hello, replacement,” the woman said. Her expression hardened back to Jim, but she was very nervous, it was clear.

  “I want my check,” she said.

  “It’s in the mail,” he said, turning his back to her, faking interest in a bottle of wine. He walked away, leaving her. And then it came to me.

  “Rosie,” I said, and she looked at me: if anything, she didn’t seem so nervous anymore. “Rosie. From Newport Beach High School—you were on the tennis team, right? I was a sophomore when you were a senior.”

  She didn’t remember, but she covered, reciting a mindless cheer that the cheerleaders used to chant when we played inland teams, her voice flat: “It’s all right, it’s okay. You’re going to work for us someday.”

  I wasn’t sure what to do, whether to tell her my name, spark a memory. Most likely she wouldn’t have remembered me anyway. She was one of those seniors who was never there, but had mythical weight to people like me, probably for that same reason.

  Finally, I said, “Go Sea Kings,” my voice equally flat, holding her gaze.

  And then she smiled a real smile, even if it was sad. Her eyes lingered on mine, a silent exchange: warning me about Jim. And I thanked her, let her know with my eyes that, yes, Jim was an asshole, but that I’d be okay. When I saw her walking out of the restaurant only a few minutes later, she had an envelope, and I was glad because it appeared that she’d gotten her paycheck. She must have known where to look for it, but I liked to imagine she confronted Jim and demanded it.

  That same afternoon, Jim took Annette shopping and picked out her clothes, paying for everything, explaining, “You’re my investment.” She wore skirts and heels, the skirts so tight I could make out her panty line. After a few weeks, I was able to interpret her body language and signals: she’d roll her shoulder back if a customer was a jerk; she’d tap her finger against the hostess podium if the customer tipped well, giving me a heads-up. Video cameras watched us, their glass eyes tucked in the corners. Jim said their purpose was to identify thieves. At the side entrance, there was no video camera, and Jim had a secret meeting place within the restaurant. That first week, on a Friday night after we’d closed, Jim took off his jacket, loosened his tie, and climbed through a partition of fake foliage. Annette and I followed, along with two dishwashers—a straight shot between the tables, between the cameras, where no one could see. You could light a fire, no one would know.

  Jim uncorked two bottles of wine, slipped one of his CDs into the CD player, and asked Alfredo to show us some salsa moves. Because Alfredo was a dishwasher, my usual interaction was with the back of his head, but Annette danced with him, whipping her hips this way and that, and my heart beat fast. We were Jim’s favorites, and we got to drink the best wines in Newport Beach. Jim had taken a shine to me even though I’d assured him that I was neither gay nor interested in experimentation. He said he was a patient man and he could wait. He said that it was nice to have someone around who could compete with him intellectually.

  We’d known Annette about a month when she told us she was a virgin. We’d climbed through the artificial foliage—a regular Friday night occurrence—and sat enjoying a Merlot while listening to Jim’s Julio Iglesias CD. Annette wore a skirt with a long slit up the front, sitting with one leg crossed over the other, making the skirt fall open. She’d taken her heels off and her toenails were painted a dark red. Her smoky eye shadow and black eyeliner made her look exotic and experienced.

  “I’m waiting for my wedding night,” she said, and she sighed, looking toward the floor, her eyelashes long and curled.

  “You’ve got to be kidding,” Jim said, and Annette looked up, her face serious. She appeared a little bit hurt but I could tell she was also amused.

  “How will you know if you’re sexually compatible?” Jim asked, resting his feet on the chair. Ann
ette’s sexy black sweater was unbuttoned enough so that I could see a beauty mark on her breast, close to where her breasts squeezed together in a kiss.

  “What do you mean?” she asked. “What do you mean by this ‘sexually compastible?’”

  Jim shook his head.

  She smiled.

  “Honey, honey, honey,” he said, and he delicately fingered her hair. “Honey, don’t you see it? They’ve got you right where they want you. Don’t let them do that to you.”

  “It’s our customs,” she said. “It’s my family.”

  “Yeah, they’ve got you right where they want you. That’s what religion does.” He swung his feet from the chair and set his hands on his knees.

  “I’m not religious,” she said, fiddling with the material of her sweater. “What’s the biggy deal? Does it really hurt?”

  “The only advice I have for you, baby,” he said, “is that men can, you know, come really quickly. You make sure Bill takes his time with you. You say to him, ‘Bill, don’t come until I’m ready.’”

  Annette was engaged to Bill, an Armenian who worked in a men’s retail store that his uncle owned in Fashion Island. She said Bill was part owner, but I was suspicious. Bill’s real name was too difficult for customers to pronounce, some Armenian name, so everyone called him Bill.

  Jim poured more wine into her glass and asked, “What do you and Bill do? I mean, do you give him head?”

  “What does this mean, to ‘give head’?” she asked, wide-eyed.

  “It means,” he said, with enthusiastic exasperation, lifting his wineglass so that the wine sloshed, “do you go down on him? Do you put his dick in your mouth? Do you give him something, at least?”

  “Do women like that? Do you like that?” she asked, her face pinched.

  “Of course,” he said, shrugging. He took a sip of his wine and contemplated. “Sometimes, I really like it. What I like even more though, I’ll tell you, is when a man goes down on me.”