Under My Rules

by Rhonda Bowen

Kristoffe patted his thick middle. “It’s those Rochester genes. Even Khai’s packing on a bit.”

  “I am not,” Khai followed Mandy to where everyone else was. But when she glanced back at him and stopped, he knew his claim was about to get refuted.

  “You do look a little bigger there, Khai,” she raised an eyebrow. “Who’s feeding you in New York?”

  Khai sputtered. “What?”

  His brother laughed. “Oh, someone’s blushing. Who is she?”

  “I thought we were supposed to be having dinner.” He motioned to his nephews. “Squirt and Squid, get in here.”

  By the time the family settled around the table and Khai’s brother said the grace for dinner, it seemed like everyone had forgotten about the source of Khai’s healthier physique.

  The dinner was loud and noisy with Khai, his brother and sister-in-law, his nephews, and his sister-in-law’s cousins and their kids who were also in town for the holiday. They could barely hear each other over the clink of plates and forks, the yell of kids and the sound of laughter. It was absolute chaos, and Khai loved it. He loved his big noisy family and he wouldn’t have had Thanksgiving any other way. Well...maybe one other way.

  “What are you smiling about?”

  Khai looked up and found Mandy watching him suspiciously. The kids were in the living room watching TV with Mandy’s cousin watching them, while Kristoffe and the other men washed dishes. It was just he and Mandy left sitting at the table, and she was eyeing him like a mystery.

  “Nothing.” Khai tried to wipe the smile off his face.

  “Uh-Uh, I know that smile,” Mandy grinned. “Who is she?”

  “Why do you guys think there’s a she?”

  Mandy smirked. “I’m a woman. I know these things.”

  “There’s no one.”

  Mandy gave him a look that told him she didn’t believe him. “Okay.”

  They sat in silence for a couple moments before Khai turned to look at her.

  “So is it true that Christians can’t date unbelievers?”

  Mandy burst into laughter. “So that’s what’s going on.”

  Khai rolled his eyes. “Well, are you gonna laugh at me all night or answer me?”

  Mandy shifted in her chair to face him. “Yes, it’s true.”

  Khai frowned. “What’s the big deal?”

  “Well, when someone makes the decision to follow Christ, they decide to walk this life with Him. It’s kinda hard to do that while walking with someone who doesn’t believe in Christ also. It would feel like being constantly pulled in two different directions.”

  Khai nodded. “Okay. So her rejecting me was not about her not liking me?”

  Mandy shook her head. “No, it was probably just about her choosing to put Christ first.”

  Khai sighed. “What does that even mean anyway? Choosing Christ. Is that choosing to believe in God? I believe there’s a God. Isn’t that enough?”

  Mandy smiled. “It’s more than just believing there is a God. The Bible tells us demons believe and tremble. It’s not about knowledge. It’s about relationship. God doesn’t want you to just know who He is. He isn’t a politician looking for votes. He wants to have a relationship with you. He wants to be a part of your life and for you to be the one to invite Him in. He made you, He has the blueprint for how life is supposed to play out for you to give you the best out of it, but only while in relationship with Him does He get to share that with you.”

  He wrinkled his nose. “You sound like Portia.”

  “Portia, eh?” Mandy grinned. “That’s her name?”

  Khai smiled ruefully. “You know she has an eight o’clock rule? Can’t be at her house after that.”

  Mandy nodded. “Sounds like my kind of girl. Kristoffe and I had an after-dark rule.”

  Khai laughed. “Yeah, he told me about that. No dates indoors alone after dark, right?”

  Mandy nodded. “Helped make our engagement a really short one.”

  Khai leaned his head back and closed his eyes. It seemed like every way he turned he was running into people who were talking to him about God. If he was a gambling man, he would bet it meant something. But he didn’t want to think about that right now. Not when he had things he needed to finish. Maybe in a few years.

  “I’m surprised you were even attracted to a Christian woman,” Mandy said.

  He shrugged. “She’s not just any woman. And it’s not just attraction. She’s an amazing person. She’s been through so much, but she has so much grace. And even though she has all these crazy rules, I respect her for it. And I respect the way she cares about me even though we can’t date, even though I don’t believe like she does.”

  “You know what that is, Khai?”

  He looked over at his sister-in-law.

  “That’s the love of Christ in her, reaching out to you. That’s God working in her life. When you have Christ walking with you, you can weather any situation because through His power you can overcome it.”

  Khai nodded. “I can see that in her. In you and my brother. How you made it through...everything.”

  Mandy nodded even though her eyes fell to her lap briefly. He knew she was thinking about the loss of her and Kristoffe’s first child, who died in the hospital days after being born. It had been a hard time for both of them, but they made it through and were stronger together now than before. Khai knew their faith had been a big part of that. He had seen the prayers by the bedside when they were hoping that baby Gracie would make it. He had seen the prayers for strength when she hadn’t and he had seen the peace that developed in them afterward as they prayed for God to keep them through it.

  “I admire all of you, your strength,” Khai said.

  Mandy shook her head. “Not our strength. God in us. He is our strength.”

  She reached over and touched his hand. “He can be yours too.”

  Khai felt the restlessness. It was like the jitters he got whenever he was high up somewhere he shouldn’t be and made the mistake of looking down. But he couldn’t look down now. It would be a long free fall down to that place Mandy was hinting at, and he wasn’t sure he was ready to let go yet.

  He stood and leaned over, kissing his sister-in-law on the cheek. “Maybe one day.”

  One day.

  Just not any day soon.

  Chapter 11

  “Too small.”

  “What about this one? It’s—”

  “Too sparse.”

  “Okay, over there, the one by the corner of the—”

  “Khai, I live in a Brooklyn duplex, not the White House. That’s way too big.”

  Khai dropped his hands to the side and stopped walking. “Okay, PJ. You want to tell me what’s wrong?”

  She stopped where she was ten feet ahead and turned around to look at him. “Nothing’s wrong.”

  He folded his arms partially to spare himself from the cold, partially to show he didn’t believe her.

  “You’ve been marching around this lot for twenty minutes, barely stopping to give any tree a good examination, barking out everything that’s wrong with them.” He frowned. “You’re being a lot more ana—”

  She glared at him and he stopped short.

  “Particular. A lot more particular than usual,” he corrected. “Which for you, means there’s something wrong. So tell me what it is, so I can fix it, so we can actually buy a tree today.”

  “Thanks, but I already have a shrink, Dr. --” She folded her arms and squinted at him. “What is your last name anyway?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You know my brother, my business, the contents of my bathroom cabinet—”

  His eyebrows shot up. “I never looked.”

  “Everyone looks,” she said dryly. “The point is, you know everything about me. I don’t even know your last name. How is this fair?”

  He threw his arms up. “I thought we were here to buy a Christmas tree?”

  “What’s your last name, Khai?”

  She w
atched his jaw clench as he drew in a deep breath.

  “I don’t tell people my last name.”

  Her neck took on a swing of its own, as her hands found her hips. “Oh, so I’m ‘people’ now?”

  “No! I didn’t say...PJ, wait.”

  Portia had already turned on her heel, marching back towards the parking lot where Khai’s vehicle was parked. This week it was a Chevy Tahoe. When he’d pulled up to her driveway in the monstrosity she couldn’t help but scoff. Men and their obsession with size.

  By the time he caught up with her, she was standing by the passenger door of the vehicle. She knew she was pouting. She knew it was childish. She didn’t care. He glanced at her, shook his head then opened her door so she could get in. She was still pouting when he got in the driver’s side and turned the car on. The heat kicked in. Instead of driving, he turned to look at her.

  “That little distraction tactic might work with everyone else in your life, but it won’t with me. This isn’t about my last name - you and I both know that.”

  The gentleness in his voice tugged at her. When his gloved hand reached out and touched her arm, she felt her emotions unravel. She turned her head towards the window so he wouldn’t see the tears she desperately tried to blink back.

  “PJ...”

  “I don’t think we’re going to find a tree here. Can you...can you just take me home?”

  She could practically hear the questions bouncing around in his head. In the end, he just sighed and shifted the car into reverse.

  “You’re right.” He backed out of their spot. “We won’t find a tree here. But I know somewhere we might.”

  Portia didn’t say anything as he headed out of the lot onto the main road. She had been buying her tree from this very lot for the past three years. Truthfully, she probably would have found a tree if she wasn’t in such a foul mood. Today definitely hadn’t been a good day to go tree shopping.

  She watched the city speed past them as they took I-678 North. But when they passed the Lafayette Ave. exit going even further north, she sat up.

  “Khai...”

  “Don’t worry, we’re not going anywhere near my house.” He smirked. “Glad to see you’re still awake over there, though.”

  She scowled at him. He laughed.

  Her scowl faded however as they left the city far behind and turned onto the local roads in New York State. There were still a few orange and yellow leaves hanging on, but the trees along the roadside were mostly bare, giving her a great view of wide open farmlands and sculpted mountains in the distance. The sky was a crisp clear blue, so bright it almost hurt her eyes. She let out a deep breath, and with it a lot of her anxiety as she took in the picturesque view. She loved the city, but some days...some days she could imagine her life out here, in the clean open air, with nothing but space and nature to frame her world.

  Thirty minutes later, after driving through what looked like New York state back country, they turned through a low stone gateway. Tall stately trees, that Portia guessed to be older than her, lined the long paved drive that welcomed them onto the acreage. If she hadn’t been looking, she would have almost missed the small sign near the entrance that read Wilkins Fir and Fruit farm. She turned to Khai.

  “It’s a tree farm?”

  He nodded. “That it is. And if you can’t find a tree here, then there isn’t a tree in the world for you, Miss Wynters.”

  She leaned forward towards the windshield as she caught sight of rows of hundreds of trees. She didn’t even try to hide the excitement that bubbled up in her chest.

  “Oh, I think I’ll find one.”

  Portia didn’t wait for Khai as he went to the main office to get information. She just followed the trail of people into the forest of Christmas trees. She lost herself in the fresh smell of conifer needles, the crunch under her feet, and the utter and complete feeling of Christmas. Why had she never been to a tree farm before? The trees came in every size and variety. There were large ones almost twice her height that she couldn’t even see around. And shorter, narrower ones that would probably work well in the Solid front office. Ones with distinct layers that she could see through, others with the firs packed so tight, she wouldn’t even have to hang her ornaments. She could just stick them in and they would stand on their own. Khai was right, if she couldn’t find one here she wouldn’t find one anywhere.

  She walked through the lanes between the rows, enjoying the feel of the pine needles against her fingers. Her mom would love a tree from here.

  “Found anything yet?”

  She turned around and grinned at Khai. “I think so.”

  Before he could ask more questions she grabbed his hand and pulled him back through the rows, making a sharp turn at a row of Balsams and stopping in front of a Douglas Fir.

  “This is my tree.”

  She watched him walk around it, rubbing his jaw thoughtfully. “About six and a half feet high I’m guessing, good diameter, shouldn’t totally drown your living room. Nice blue-green pines.” He leaned in. “Smells great too.”

  “Good choice, right?” Portia asked, almost bouncing on the spot.

  “Very good choice.” He lifted an eyebrow at her. “Shall I?”

  At her nod, he lifted the saw he carried and started to work away at the base of the tree. Portia watched him work. He squatted and ducked low to get a good look at what he was doing. She clamped her hands into fists as she fought the urge to reach in and touch the blonde curls even as a strange feeling tugged at her insides.

  “Thank you for doing this for me.”

  He kept sawing without looking up. “No problem. Just hold this thing so it doesn’t fall on me.”

  “Okay.” Portia held onto the tree even as it began to sway. “I know I was a bit of a drama queen back at the other place. Thanks for not leaving me on the side of the road.”

  She saw his shoulders shake as he laughed.

  “And have Derek hunt me down and kill me? No thanks.”

  The smile slid off her face. “He wouldn’t hunt you down. Not today anyway.”

  His hands stilled a moment. She half expected him to turn around and look at her. But after a beat, he resumed sawing.

  “You guys in the middle of a fight?”

  Portia wrinkled her nose. “Something like that.”

  He kept sawing. “You want to talk about it?”

  The tree tilted and Portia stumbled back as the weight of it threw her off balance. Khai was standing next to her before she could blink, holding the tree.

  “Don’t worry, I’ve got it,” he murmured.

  She caught the scent of mint and realized just how close he was. So close that if she turned to the left...

  She stepped away. “I’ll pull the cart around.”

  Within seconds, the tree was on the cart and they were dragging it towards the front of the farm.

  “Nice pick, PJ. If I ever decide to get a tree, I might have to bring you out here to help me.”

  Portia looked over at him. “You don’t get a tree?”

  He shrugged. “What for? I’m never at home on the holidays.”

  Portia frowned. “You’re at home sometimes. You eat and sleep there after all. Wait, do you sleep there?”

  Khai laughed. “What?”

  “I uh...I actually never asked you.” She cleared her throat. “Are you seeing someone?”

  Khai glanced over at her. “Why do you want to know?”

  “We’re friends. Can’t I be interested in the social well-being of my friend?” She could hear the defensiveness in her own voice. And from the smirk on Khai’s face, he heard it too.

  “Yes, I am seeing someone,” he said finally.

  Portia found herself tripping over a loose twig. She grabbed onto a nearby tree to stop herself from falling. Khai was seeing someone? When? Who? And how come Portia had never met this woman before? And why did the idea of him seeing someone almost make her face plant into the dirt?

  “You okay?” He reach
ed for her arm to steady her.

  Portia moved out of range before he could touch her. “I’m fine.”

  He squinted at her.

  “Really, I’m fine,” she kept walking. “How come I’ve never met this woman? Or heard anything about her? You’re all up in my business with Brady but you’re holding out on this?”

  Khai shrugged and looked ahead, not meeting her gaze. “It’s not a big deal. It’s someone I’ve known for a while. We go out sometimes whenever we’re both in town and available.”

  Portia nodded, ignoring the pool of jello her insides had become. “We should all go out sometimes. You, me, her, Brady.”

  Khai snorted. “I don’t think so.”

  She glanced over at him. “Why?”

  Instead of answering, he hoisted the tree off the cart and took it over to a man in overalls, who was ready to secure the tree to the shaker. Portia opened her mouth to repeat her question, but the noise of the shaker drowned her out. She didn’t bother to try again until they had paid and the tree was tied, with them hauling it to the SUV.

  “So why can’t we all go out now?” Portia asked.

  All she could see was the back of his head when he answered, but she could hear the dryness in his tone.

  “Because when you start introducing a woman to your friends, she starts thinking relationship.”

  “And?”

  He opened the back hatch of the vehicle. “And, since as you so aptly put it, I can’t even commit to a car, I’m not about to make any other long term commitments right now.”

  Portia shoved her end of the tree into the back. “Wow. You, Khai No-last-name, are a prize.”

  He turned around and grinned. “Thank you very much.”

  “Now that you’ve worked me like a slave, can we go back to your place where you can feed me?”

  She stepped forward with a smile, brushing needles off his jacket. “I am so grateful you came with me, Khai.”

  His eyebrows drew together. “You already said that.”

  “You know I couldn’t do this without you,” she continued, gazing up at him. “And I promise I am going to whip up the best meal for you when we get back.”

  He sighed. “But?”

  “But, I just need one more thing.”