Love's Grip

by Nika Michelle

  Pistol

  I had been sure to put my cut from the lick in the safe in my bedroom closet. Mike and Dank had kept the coke for themselves. I wasn’t trying to fuck with that shit. Daisha was sitting in front of the television, but I was watching her. Her lips were slightly parted as she snored lightly on the sofa. The beauty that she possessed took ahold of me as I stood there and stared at her.

  It was like she could sense me admiring her, because suddenly her eyes flew open and she self-consciously wiped her mouth.

  “Was I drooling?” she asked.

  My expression was serious as I shook my head. “I don’t know if you were drooling or not, Ma. All I saw was a beautiful woman who was in a peaceful state. You looked so … content.”

  “Thank you.” Her smile was faint as she sat up. “And it’s funny you said that. It hasn’t been that easy for me to sleep lately, so I must be comfortable around you. Of course, the first night the Lortab knocked me out. When I’m asleep, it’s the only time I have any peace, and I thought I needed something to make me sleep. I guess not.”

  “You took something else other than the Lortabs?” I was concerned about her being on something heavy.

  “Yeah. I don’t know what it was, though.” She filled me in on what had happened with her so-called best friend, Kevia, and that nigga Rae.

  That must’ve happened right before I shot G at the cemetery. Damn. So he was trying to find her. It was a good thing she had that gun on her.

  “I flushed the pills, though,” she told me.

  I nodded. “Good. If you’re in pain, I can give you something. It won’t be Lortabs, though.” I smiled. “You took the rest of them wit’ you.”

  “I’m sorry ’bout that.”

  “It’s okay,” I assured her. “You needed them more than me.”

  “Well, the pain isn’t that bad anymore. I’m just a little sore. A blunt would be the shit, though.”

  Letting out a deep chuckle, I left the room to retrieve my smoke stash and a Swisher. Her request was right on time. I was full and buzzing off that Henny, so a blunt full of Kush would be the nightcap we both needed. Well, I could think of a better way to cap off the night, but it wasn’t the time.

  “So, do you think Rae recognized you?” she asked when I returned to the room.

  “I don’t think he did. Just like how I didn’t know where I’d heard his name at first. It took me thinkin’ about it for that shit to click. Them niggas were chillin’ and shit and had no reason to really pay me any mind. Once they found G’s body, I’m sure Rae thought about it and tried to recall what I looked like. Even if he still don’t know who I am, those niggas’ll end up puttin’ two and two together. That’s why we should’ve put some lead in them too. When I didn’t know about Rae, it wasn’t such a pressin’ thing to kill them. Honestly, I think I wanna kill Rae ’cause of what he did to you more than anything. Even if he don’t ever figure out who I am or ever find out that I killed his cousin, I still wanna be the one to make that nigga stop breathin’.”

  It was quiet as I rolled the blunt. I noticed that Daisha appeared to be in deep thought.

  “What you thinkin’ ’bout?” I asked before I lit the end of the blunt and took a pull.

  “About the fact that G was one of the biggest dope dealers in the city and that nigga Rae is supposed to be his top enforcer. With all the money that nigga gets, he still didn’t want to do shit for me. The fucked-up way he treated me makes me question myself. Why the fuck did I stay?” Her voice trembled. “I feel so damn stupid.”

  “Don’t do that to yourself. You made a mistake. You ain’t the first woman to stay wit’ a fucked-up nigga,” I told her. “Shit, to be honest wit’ you, I’m a fucked-up-ass nigga. I ain’t never been one to wanna commit to a chick, but they always catch feelings. Then I move on. Straight up, I ain’t never been in a real relationship before,” I explained and passed her the blunt.

  She took a toke of the potent-smelling weed, with a contemplative look that changed her features. “Hmm. Something tells me that you were always honest wit’ them about that, though.”

  I nodded in agreement. “Yeah. You right ’bout that. I ain’t never been one to play games and shit. I let a bi … chick know what’s up from the jump.”

  “So if a bitch caught feelings, that was on her, then. Shit. In my experience, I’ve always dealt wit’ lyin’-ass niggas who pretended like they wanted more when they really didn’t. I can respect a man who keeps it one hundred from the beginnin’. No games.” She hit the blunt again and then passed it back. “Shit, I wish Rae had warned me that he was a bum-ass nigga. I wouldn’t have ever wasted my time.”

  “I feel you, but part of it, too, is that it ain’t been one chick who got my attention to bypass the pussy.”

  “That’s ’cause you go for the wrong type of woman. Just like how I go for the wrong type of man. Maybe if we try something different, we’ll get different results.”

  “Real shit you talkin’, baby girl. Real shit.” I had just been thinking the same thing.

  We puffed some more, but before the blunt was gone, she was snoring lightly again. I couldn’t help but smile as I carefully lifted her from the sofa and carried her to my bedroom. After taking off her shoes, I put the comforter over her and left the room. Something told me that she had felt me pick her up but had acted like she was still asleep. I had seen the slight smile that spread across her pretty face. All she wanted was to be taken care of, for once. For some odd reason, which I couldn’t quite put my finger on, I wanted to be the one to do that.

  *

  “I can’t stay here forever, Pistol,” I heard Daisha say behind me as I sat on the sofa.

  It was a little after eight in the morning, and she just ran up on me with that shit all of a sudden.

  My head whipped around so I could look at her. “Uh, I wasn’t expectin’ that, Ma. I’m just tryin’a help you. I know that you ain’t got nowhere else to go and—”

  “But I do have somewhere else to go. I could’ve stayed where I was!” she snapped.

  “Damn. What’s up wit’ the attitude? You were cool last night.”

  All of a sudden she burst into tears, and I didn’t know what to do.

  “Okay.” I stood up and made my way over to her slowly. “What’s goin’ on?”

  “What do you think? I know you ain’t helpin’ me just ’cause you want to. You don’t wanna kill Rae for me! That’s bullshit! You probably just plan to fuck me, find out where Rae is, and kill him before he and his niggas can kill you! What do you plan to do wit’ me after that? Huh? I’m just your way of gettin’ to him! Ain’t I? You have an agenda, Pistol! I know it! No man has ever done shit for me without wanting something in return… .”

  I grabbed her arms and pulled her to my body as she sobbed. “You’re wrong, Daisha. I don’t want shit from you. All I want is to know that you’re gonna be okay. You ain’t never gotta give me no ass. You ain’t never gotta give me shit.”

  Her body was stiff, and she tried to pull away from me, but I held on to her. “I know that you’re goin’ through a lot right now. I get it. I do,” I said. “You might think I’m helpin’ you for all the wrong reasons, but I ain’t. Believe me, if I wanna get to that nigga Rae, I can do it without you. I just figured I’d keep you safe and find out about his whereabouts at the same time. All I was tryin’a do is kill two birds wit’ one stone. I’ll admit that when I first saw you, I wanted to get wit’ you. Now that shit’s deeper than that. Your safety means the world to me. It’s like I feel some kind of connection to you, and there ain’t shit you can do about it. I’m gon’ make sure that nigga’s outta the way so you can go on wit’ your life. Even if it’s without me in it. You ain’t gotta stay here forever, but stay long enough for your bruises to heal and for me to ensure your safety. Okay?”

  Her body suddenly relaxed in my grip, and I could feel her tremble as she continued to sob. “Okay,” she whispered, finally letting her guard down again. “I’m sor
ry.”

  “Don’t be sorry.” I released her from my embrace to stare into her eyes. “You got a lot goin’ on and shit…. I understand why you’re so emotional.”

  She wiped her eyes. “You probably think I’m crazy.”

  “Nah.” I chuckled as I grabbed a ringlet of her curly hair and stretched it out. “I love your hair. It’s real, right?”

  She laughed and shook her head. “Yes, it’s real.”

  “I do wanna get to know you better, though, Daisha, and that’s a first for me.”

  When she sat down on the sofa, I plopped down beside her, hoping that her crying fit was over.

  “Okay, but I need coffee and breakfast so I can think straight,” she replied.

  I gave her a knowing glance. “Go get dressed. I know the perfect spot.”

  *

  When we got back to my spot after breakfast, I noticed a familiar-looking car parked in front of the building. Suddenly, my heart leaped against my rib cage. It was adrenaline stemming more from vigilance than from fear. The shit was about to hit the fan.

  “Fuck,” I said under my breath.

  “What?” Daisha looked over at me, wearing an alarmed expression.

  “Nothing. Just stay in the car.” I got out, and she started to protest.

  “Wait. What the fuck is goin’ on?” Her eyes were full of fear.

  “It’s not that nigga Rae, if that’s what you’re worried about.” My tone was a little bit rougher than I intended it to be.

  She shook her head, and there was a sort of pout on her face. It was only ten something in the morning. It was too damn early for that shit. I made my way up the steps to the entrance to my building and literally jogged to the elevators. When I got to the door of my condo, I noticed that it was slightly open.

  “What the hell?” I pushed the door open wider and walked inside cautiously. My gun was out, and I popped the light on, not expecting the scene that I found in front of me.

  “Hey, baby,” Niya purred. She was sprawled out on my sofa, buck ass naked. “I know you didn’t mean none of that bullshit you said the other night. Shit, last time we fucked, you enjoyed that shit. I could tell.”

  Damn, she was delusional. “How the fuck did you get in here? Put your fuckin’ clothes on, yo.” I put the gun down on the mantel over the fireplace.

  She only grinned up at me as she spread her legs wide open, exposing her bald pussy. The thing was, I didn’t want that ho, and she needed to leave before Daisha saw her. That was only going to make shit worse.

  “Oh, wow. Thirsty bitches are takin’ over,” Daisha declared from the doorway.

  Damn. It was too late. Daisha’s hardheaded ass hadn’t stayed in the car, like I had told her to.

  Niya’s eyes lit up. “So, that’s what it is? You already fuckin’ some other bitch.”

  “Look, you don’t know what’s goin’ on between us, bitch, so don’t assume. You just make an ass of yourself. It’s clear that you’re on some desperate-ass shit. What? You just walked up in his crib?” Daisha shook her head and then glanced at me. “This ho got a key to your crib, and you got me stayin’ over here?”

  I shook my head. “Nah, it ain’t what you think… .”

  “You explainin’ yourself to that bitch? It’s that serious? Wow.” Niya looked at Daisha and then at me.

  Without even a second thought, Daisha ran up on that bitch, but I grabbed her.

  “If you call me one mo’ fuckin’ bitch, I’m gon’ cut your fuckin’ tongue out!” Daisha screamed. Then she glared at me. “Let me go! Who the fuck is that bitch? Your girl?”

  I shook my head again. “Nah, yo. How the fuck you get in here, Niya?”

  Niya stood up, rolled her eyes, and started getting dressed. “I ain’t gotta tell you shit while your ho’s standin’ here. I’ll just holla at you later. You know you the side chick, right?” Her eyes were on Daisha.

  “The side chick?” I sighed and shook my head once more. “She ain’t the side chick, and you ain’t shit to me.” I turned my gaze to Daisha. “Go in the bedroom while I handle her, yo.” I was still holding on to Daisha, in case she tried something.

  “I ain’t goin’ no fuckin’ where!” Daisha snapped defiantly. “If that bitch keeps it cute, I will too.”

  Niya rolled her eyes. “Keep it cute? Bitch, bye! It look like that nigga been whuppin’ your ass. I didn’t know you got down like that, Pistol. Hittin’ on bitches and shit.”

  I shot Niya a confused glance. “Oh, hell nah. I ain’t do that shit.”

  “I don’t give a fuck ’bout none of that. Call me when you get tired of that… .” Niya looked Daisha up and down. “You a stupid-ass nigga. She ain’t got shit on me.” Then she picked her pocketbook up off the sofa and headed for the front door.

  Shaking my head, I walked ahead of Niya quickly in order to block the door. “How the fuck did you get in here?”

  “I got a key made, nigga. What you think?” Niya’s arms were across her chest as she smirked at me.

  “You what?”

  “You deaf now, fool? I got a key made.” She said it like I was slow or something.

  “How … When the fuck did you do that? Give it to me now.”

  Niya laughed sarcastically. “When you was asleep, I took your keys to Lowe’s, and they made a spare of each one. I ain’t givin’ you shit, nigga. You want that shit, take it. I bet you can’t find it.”

  That crazy bitch had made a spare of all my keys? Why the fuck had I fallen asleep around that psycho heifer? What the fuck had I been thinking?

  She grinned slyly at me. “Yeah, nigga. This good pussy knocks a nigga out every time.”

  I rolled my eyes, annoyed. “Your pussy ain’t all that. I was just drunk as hell.”

  “Give him his fuckin’ keys, bitch, before I take ’em from your ass!” I heard Daisha snap, like she was getting tired of our heated exchange.

  “Take ’em, bitch. You bad. Do it! I fuckin’ double dog dare your walkin’-dead-lookin’ ass!” Niya snapped back.

  Niya held up a key ring, and I dived for it just as Daisha grabbed her by the back of her head and started punching her in the face. Damn. I really didn’t want Daisha fighting. Her ribs were already badly bruised, and I was sure that she’d also suffered a concussion during the attack. My arm was around her waist in a flash, and I effortlessly pulled her off Niya.

  Daisha was swinging wildly in the air, and Niya was kicking and screaming.

  “Get your crazy-ass bitch away from me!” Niya yelled as she picked up her pocketbook, which had fallen on the floor during the scuffle, and pulled out a small handgun. “Nigga, you just don’t know a good thing when it’s right in your motherfuckin’ face. I was willin’ to ride for you, and you played me to the left like I ain’t shit.”

  She wasn’t, but I couldn’t say that out loud with a gun in my face. Obviously, her plan had been to seduce me and then kill me.

  “Put the gun down, yo,” I ordered her. “What the hell? Is it that damn serious?” Damn. My gun was on the mantel behind her, and if I tried to get to it, I was sure that I’d be shot.

  Niya nodded. “Oh, it’s so serious. Especially now. I had planned to shoot only you, but it’s a good thing your bitch is here. I can just get her outta the way too.”

  “You already knew what it was when we fucked around. Why you actin’ like I sold you a dream or something? I kept shit all the way real wit’ you, and here you are, wit’ a fuckin’ gun in my face after you literally broke into my spot. You ain’t no killer, Niya. You on some other shit right now. You all in your feelings and shit, but you need to go on and get up outta here, for real.” I had tried to talk her down, but she hadn’t even flinched.

  “Nigga, miss me wit’ that bullshit. You don’t know shit ’bout me and what I’m capable of doin’. If you’d taken the time to get to know me instead of just fuckin’ me, this wouldn’t be happenin’!”

  “You said you was down for just fuckin’! What the hell, yo?” I shouted.
“Why the fuck y’all bitches always claim you down for whatever when you really want more? You didn’t have to deal wit’ me after I let you know that I don’t do that love shit! You set yourself up to just get fucked. Now get that damn gun outta my face!”

  “Shut the fuck up, nigga! I got the upper hand now! You don’t think I’ll really shoot your ass, do you?” She put her finger on the trigger. “Well, I will. Right in your pretty-ass face!”

  Pow! Pow!

  Chapter 9

  Daisha

  I stood right there behind that crazy-ass bitch, taking it all in. While she concentrated on Pistol, she paid no mind to what I was doing behind her. I’d seen the gun sitting on the mantelpiece when I first walked in, but I hadn’t thought she’d pull one out.

  Pistol’s eyes were gauging her movements, and he wasn’t paying me any attention, either. In the heat of the moment, I slowly crept to the mantelpiece and grabbed the gun, hoping that bitch wouldn’t look back. She was so busy trying to scare that nigga with that gun that she saw nothing but him. The thing was, I didn’t know if she was really going to shoot him. If so, she was definitely going to shoot me too.

  Right when she threatened to shoot him in his face, I let off two rounds. One hit her in the back of the head, and the other one hit her in the shoulder. When some of her blood and brain matter splattered across the room and hit Pistol, I knew that I’d killed that bitch.

  “Oh shit!” I gasped as I dropped the gun.

  I’d never killed anybody in my life. That shit was fucking with me hard, and my body shook from the realization of what I’d done.

  “Calm down. Don’t panic,” I heard Pistol say as he closed the distance between us. “Damn. I should’ve put the silencer back on that shit.”

  I was sure that somebody had heard the gunshots. “Oh God. What if … ?”

  “Shhh.” He put his finger to my lips. “I said, ‘Don’t panic.’ The shots were loud, but it’s early. Maybe everybody’s at work or something.”

  That was wishful thinking. Oh shit. I’d gone from fearing for my life to fearing prison time. I didn’t know which was worse.