by Dani René
“Aye. Ah wull ca’ him.” *Yes, I will call him.*
I nodded and stood to the side as the enormous looming gates opened. One of the army trucks pulled out and drove off. I took a few deep breaths and thought about seeing my best friend again. I spent a lot of time in London since my family moved here. My father transferred here through the company he landed a job with after the terrible incident with his partner.
They dealt with high end insurance for international corporations. When they branched out to the UK, and offered my dad a job he agreed. After losing everything, he needed to do something for him and my mom. His parents grew up in England and for him to be here was like coming home. My parents owned a house not far from here. I made friends with most of the locals that frequented the pub that Emm and I visited. That’s when I met Lee, he was the sweetest boy I knew. We were close until he got a girl pregnant and she decided that him having a female friend wasn’t appropriate.
I reached down and wrapped my arms around my knees, stretching my hamstrings when I heard a familiar voice. “Thare is a fucking bonny sight.” *There is a fucking beautiful sight.*
I straightened and came face to face with sparkling green eyes. The naughty smirk on his face was so familiar I almost burst into tears. If it wasn’t for him, I am not sure I would have gotten through what happened to me. I ran up to him, throwing my arms around his neck. Nuzzling my face in his clean, soapy scent. My best friend.
“Ye a'richt bonny?” *You alright beautiful?*
I nodded into his jacket and giggled when he spun me around.
“Can you cut the Scottish now?” He flashed me a smile and his eyes creased.
“Aye, darlin’. Do you wanna grab a coffee?”
“Please. I just popped by to see how you’re doing with fatherhood.” I glanced at him and his jaw tightened.
“Not good. She’s taken off home. Didnae like London. Back in bonny Scotland.” My heart hurt for him. His girlfriend could be a tyrant when she wanted to be. “And ye? What ye doin’ back?”
“I am on tour with the band. They’re playing Wembley tonight.”
“Shite. That’s fucking brilliant.”
“Aye, but, I need advice.” We walked into Costa coffee and Lee ordered. Paying with the notes he pulled from his combat cargo pants. He handed me my cup and we found a seat.
“Ye askin’ me fer advice? Shite, it must be bad.” He chuckled and I swatted him.
“I’m in love Lee. I've fallen and I don't know what to do. He’s wonderful. My insecurities got the better of me and jealousy seeing him with his ex had me bolting for the nearest door. Nothing happened between them, but I feel so inadequate. I mean I am no famous person. Just a girl.” Sipping the hot liquid, I peer up at green eyes. He’s staring at me with a smirk on his face.
“Ye no more average than any supermodel in a magazine, Tay. You’re worthy of someone who can love ye unconditionally. Dinnae let him go. If ye love him, dinnae walk away.” He took my hand and gave it a squeeze. I felt better about my decision. Last night I realized running away is what I have been doing all my life. If Callum chooses me, then I will give us a chance.
“Thank you, soldier.” I mock salute him, which caused him to chuckle. We sat for a few more minutes. Lee gave me the rundown on what was happening with the army. He wanted to leave soon. Another year and he would be out. We rose and stepped out of the shop. Back on the sidewalk, we headed towards the barracks.
“C'moan darlin’ a'm oan guard in an oor. A'm needin' tae git back. 'twas guid seeing ye. Tak' care ae' yersel'.” *Come on darlin’ I am on guard in an hour. I need to get back. It was good seeing you. Take care of yourself.*
I shook my head at the thick Scottish he spoke and giggled. He leaned in and gave me a hug. “Bye, soldier. Give the queen a wave from me.” When he disappeared across the road, I headed back to the hotel. With my ear buds in, I weaved through people heading to work. It was getting lighter now, and I realized I needed to hurry.
When I reached The Arch, I slipped into Kierra’s room before she woke up. I grabbed my jeans and tank top, clean underwear and my toiletries. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. As soon as I step under the spray, my aching muscles relax. Calming me. I shut my eyes and think about how I will approach Callum. What will I say? Do I tell him I love him? Honesty is the only way to fix this.
I love and hate being on tour. Running up to the main stage, I notice the crew setting up the microphone and the drum kit. How on earth we opened the doors on time I do not know? We were practically two hours late getting into the venue. One of the team called in sick, so I am filling in. Once we arrived at Wembley it all went to hell.
Checking the clipboard that Ki gave me, I realize we’re just about catching up to our allotted times. I read over the new play list, it’s changed for this show. Maybe this song they’ve included is from the forthcoming album. Even though I was supposed to be helping with the keyboard set up, Kierra needed me. So I had someone stand in and assist Ryan. Now I am rushing around like a headless chicken trying to make sure everything is on schedule. We need sound check done and dusted, which is essential. The VIP Meet and Greet is only in an hour. Then we have a backstage tour. Some lucky girl will be chosen to visit the dressing rooms with Callum himself. This should be interesting. There’s always tears and blubbering. I wanted to chat to him before that, but I couldn’t find him this morning. He wasn’t answering his phone and Kierra had no idea where he had disappeared to either.
Being part of a worldwide tour for one of the most famous bands in the world is difficult. Here I am, standing and waiting for the crew to finish and I am missing something. As I peer up to the stage, I notice Liam is ready, so is Ryan. The main ingredient is not here, our lead singer. Where the fuck is Cal? He provokes me and he knows he does it. Being late is what he does best, besides singing and I suppose looking good in everything he wears. Tay, get a hold of yourself. You’re working! This is becoming impossible.
There was so much we needed to talk about and he’s MIA. I don’t know how we ever have anything done when he arrives late. “Petal...” That one word is like oxygen to my lungs. A beat of my heart. And a light in my darkness. We haven’t spoken in days. He hasn’t called me that in roughly a week, hearing it in this moment gives me the hope that all is not lost.
I turn to face with the gorgeous sky-blue I have missed. “I wanted to talk to you before sound check.” With a slow step towards him, I lay a hand on his chest. His breathing hitches and I am too aware of the heat radiating from him. “I need to try. With you.” The grin that cracks on his face is incredible.
“Petal, you’re wonderful. I… I... There’s a lot we should discuss, but don’t run. Please, just never tell me goodbye again.” I nod and smile. Placing a chaste kiss on his cheek. He whispers in my ear. “Happy birthday, beautiful.” The desire is heavy in the air and tears threaten. I clear my throat and step back.
“I was about to come find you and kick your ass, but since you’ve brought me coffee, I will forgive you.” He offers me a cheeky wink. With a glow of amusement, he shrugs. All the strain has vanished to nothing. My heart overflows with love. Yes, love. For the man that has millions of women begging to be with him. The face that girls around the world swoon over. The voice that they hang onto. To be honest, initially, I wasn’t convinced that he wasn't a bad boy. He is handsome, has a string of models in his past and with those cerulean eyes, I was scared. But it’s become difficult to deny my feelings. When he lets that smile loose on me, I am disarmed. My walls crash and he sees my heart, but more than that, he sees my soul. As much as I push, he pulls. And now, I crave to pull.
“You just love getting your hands on me, baby.” His voice a rough growl in my ear. The shiver that runs over my body has me grinning. He rushes up towards the stage and hops up effortlessly. When he faces me again, he calls out. “You can handle me whenever you choose, Petal.”
That’s what touring with them is like. A persistent pain
in the ass, struggling to get Callum to be professional. The band knows we’re together, but the fans don’t. So it’s been a constant problem to tell him to behave. Putting on my serious face, I call out to him, “In your dreams, Hayes!”
Stormy blue pools sear me. “In yours too, Petal!” He retorts with a cheeky wink my way. I shake my head at his over confident demeanor. His nickname for me has my stomach doing flip-flops. He drops his jacket on the stage, he grabs the mic with an air of belonging. He was born to be up there.
I never understood it until the first time I saw him perform live. It’s true, the band are incredible as a whole, but there is something magnetic about Callum Hayes. And that’s why I fell in love with him.
I watch as they fit the microphone stand in place for him. There is electricity in the arena as the guitar chords echo through the emptiness. I can’t wait to hear them play Wembley Arena. With sudden ferocity keyboards and drums come to life and fill the massive empty venue, pulling me from my thoughts. Seeing Liam in his element, is like watching a beast attack its prey. They start with my favorite song. Damaged Angel.
Were you always there in the darkness?
Watching and waiting for me?
Do you always fight your demons alone?
Let me in, Angel, let me in,
You’re broken
Shattered in pieces
And I know you’re just a
Damaged Angel
Are you going to let me in?
Will you forgive me?
Now we’re both just
Demented souls
You’re broken
Shattered in pieces
And I know you’re just a
Damaged Angel
Those nights of heat
Take the darkness
Bring me the light
My Damaged Angel
Callum’s words echo through the stadium and goose bumps rise on my skin. The song is haunting with an intense drum solo near the end. When he finishes, the last chorus his eyes meet mine and the butterflies in my stomach come alive. I love you. I love you. I love you. Never did I think he was right for me, but I couldn’t deny my soul its mate. He pins me with a knowing glance. In that moment there isn't anywhere else I would rather be. I am at his mercy. He holds more than just my body. He holds something I kept hidden for far too long. My heart.
Callum
As soon as I step onto the stage, I rule. This is my territory, everybody recognizes that. Since I started performing, roughly a decade ago, my life transformed. I needed to leave the small town where I was born to come into my own. The first few years of my fame took its toll, I did some foolish things. I screwed up big time. When I was with Arina, I fell down a sordid dark hole. I look back and wonder what the fuck I was thinking. Tayla has changed me, I have something to live for. In her I found a connection. A deep and meaningful purpose. If only she could quit being so fucking stubborn.
When I finish the song, my gaze darts up. She’s there. The angel that’s walked into my life. The girl with the chestnut eyes. Tayla is a challenge, and I fucking love it. When we met I told her I will change her mind. She didn’t believe me. Now, the blush that spreads on her cheeks every time I sing the lyrics to her is unmistakable.
The month we’ve spent together, Tay's pushed me away more times than I care to remember. Her stubbornness made me want her more. Her past is filled with anguish, with what that monster did to her. I would love to get my hands on him. How I wish I could. There are moments I see the pain in her eyes and I want to take it away. I have seen her scars. They make her the woman I love. I know why she loves Damaged Angel. That’s what she is. My beautiful damaged angel.
If she would open up to me. I have spent days trying to prove to her she can trust me. Since the first day I saw her, I realized I wanted her. I am persuasive, but she is definitely not a push over, and that made me crave her more. Like I said, I love a challenge and this right here, is why I am staring straight at her as I finish the lyrics of our single Damaged Angel. I turn to my brother; he’s wearing his shit eating grin. As usual, dressed in a cut out tank top. No doubt to show off to the thousands of girls when we do the Meet and Greet later.
“Callum, that sounded great. Are you going to do another song?” Her voice is a fucking melody I want on repeat. The long sleek blonde hair that hangs down the middle of her back shines under the low lighting. It gives her an ethereal glow. Her face though, is far from angelic. Her heated bitchy stare sends a jolt to my crotch. She’s fucking sexy when she’s angry.
“Do we have time, Petal?” Her nickname will make her smile. The expression she offers is priceless. Liam is chuckling behind me, if only he knew how many times this girl has brought me to my knees, literally and figuratively.
She looks at the clipboard she’s holding. I know she has the play list for the show. She’ll see the new song I added this morning. “You have twenty minutes before we do the M&G.” She glances up. My gaze falls on her mouth, then travels south. Dressed in a cut out T-shirt, the collar is low and her cleavage is peeking out. Did I mention I love being on stage? From up here, I can see exactly what I crave. Supple, silky and sweet. Tayla Quinn.
“One more. Any requests gorgeous?” My stare burns into her and her skin turns a subtle shade of pink. That is the view I have been living for, for months since I met this feisty woman.
“Um… Well, since you’ve asked me. Why don’t you do this… Between Love & Fire?” The confusion on her face has her brows creasing. Perfect. She wants the song I wrote for her. Good.
“You sure?” The grin on my face must give me away because the challenge in her scowl is adorable. Fine, you want it, Petal? You got it.
“Drums.” I nod and Liam picks up his cue. As the keyboard comes in, I latch my eyes on her and I sing the words that came to me the night she said goodbye.
You walked out the door,
The emptiness that your absence leaves behind,
Shattering me in two,
How do you live with yourself?
Between love and fire,
This is what you wanted
Shattered pieces of you and I
You walk away and tear me down
Between goodbye and hello
Take my heart, rip it up
Kneeling at your altar,
Come to me tonight,
Our dirty secrets we will devour
Between love and fire,
This is what you wanted
Shattered pieces of you and I
You walk away and tear me down
Between goodbye and hello
Poison runs through my veins,
Leave me bleeding on the floor,
Slamming doors, haunted minds,
You walk away, but you can never leave,
Woven like fabric,
You’re inside me
As I am inside you
Between love and fire,
This is what you wanted
Shattered pieces of you and I
You walk away and tear me down
Between goodbye and hello
Her eyes are glistening. The shock is evident and I know this song cuts her the way her words cut me that night. When I hit the last note, my voice cracks, and she turns and runs out of the arena. I drop my mic and run after her. This is not how it ends. She will not walk away from me.
“Tayla, for fuck sake, do not fucking run away from me.” This feels like déjà vu, rushing after my girl down the goddamn hallway. We come to a door, and I grasp her wrist, hauling her into the cramped storage room. I am positive we’re not meant to be in here, but I don’t give a shit. She needs to hear me out.
“Callum.” Her eyes latch on mine for the first time since I finished the song and I can see the emotion etched on her exquisite face. Love. My heart thumps against my chest and I realize this is it. I have to confess to her now.
“No. Listen. I am tired of doing this. This back and forth has to stop. I can’t do it anymore. You push, I
pull. It’s exhausting and you feel it too. I want nothing more than to be yours. To have you as mine. But I can’t deal with you leaving me again. Choose what you want. Because God knows—”
“I love you.” Her voice is so low; I assume I imagined it. My tirade stops and I stare at her. Mouth agape. Shocked at her admission. She loves me? She loves me!
“I fucking love you too.” Pulling her against me. Her body molding to mine. I hold onto her as if she's my salvation. My life is a joke most of the time, with the tabloids and paparazzi, but with her beside me, everything has purpose. “Jesus, Tayla. I love you so fucking much. Last night when you walked out, you took my heart and soul with you. Ripping me into two.” I cup her face in my hands and peer into her chestnut eyes. The emotion shining through is breathtaking. Obvious. Free. Beautiful. Between the love she gives me and fire she fights me with I am always left speechless. She’s fed my innate primal hunger. Knowing I am not alone makes me want to shout it to the world.
I lean in, my lips meet hers in a gentle lingering kiss. It’s sweet and passionate, but so damn perfect. She presses her body against mine, her tits against my chest, has me aching for her. Right here and now. “I need you.” With a cheeky wink, she blushes and nods. I don’t need further consent. Unbuttoning my jeans, shoving them down, I watch her slip the pair of shorts she’s wearing off. “Leave your panties on.” Pushing my briefs to my thighs, just enough to get my cock out. I rip the foil packet and sheath myself.
My hands grip her pert little ass, and I hold her against me. Her moan is linked directly to my dick, because I can’t think straight. I am painfully hard.
I spin her around, with her back to me, I bend her over at the waist. She clutches the shelving in front of her. Moving her thong to the side, I slam into her. A punishing thrust and she gasps at the invasion. She needs to be punished for leaving me. For saying goodbye. For crushing my heart.
