Dark Guardian (Dark Series - book 9)

by Christine Feehan

  “I have frightened you, honey. I am sorry. I was only teasing you.”

  Her long eyelashes fluttered for a moment before she actually found the courage to look up at him again. Why did he have to have such presence? He exuded power. “Everyone I know can turn into a wolf. That’s what you were doing, wasn’t it? Turning into a wolf?” Her teeth bit down hard on her knuckles.

  He crossed the room with his silent, easy stride. Her heart slammed painfully. She tried to make herself smaller. Lucian simply sank to the floor beside her, his back to the door, his body close to hers. He drew his knees up, every movement slow and deliberate so as not to frighten her any further. “I was showing off.” His hand touched her hair. “Nothing else, nothing sinister, just showing off.”

  Jaxon winced. “Well, don’t do it again. People just can’t do those things, Lucian. They can’t, okay? You really aren’t able to do them, so stop thinking you can. It isn’t possible.”

  His hand found her silky hair again, his fingers gently rubbing the strands together before his palm curved around the nape of her neck. He began a slow, soothing massage to ease some of the tension out of her. “Angel, we talked about this when you spoke with Barry about the wolf. You knew it was me.”

  She shook her head adamantly. “I didn’t think you meant it literally. I thought perhaps that you had a wolf or a dog with you. You can make people think things with optical illusions. I thought you might have made Barry see an illusion, not that you were actually a wolf. That never occurred to me. You can’t turn into a wolf. No one can do that.”

  “I am Carpathian, not human, though you persist in thinking me so. I have many abilities, and I have told you that.” His voice was deliberately soft and soothing.

  “Well, you’re just crazy, that’s all. People like you don’t exist in the world, Lucian, so get over it already.” She rubbed her forehead. “You just can’t do things like that anymore.”

  “You are not breathing, honey. Take a minute and listen to your body,” he advised. He kept his voice soft and persuasive.

  At once she was aware of her heart beating too rapidly, her lungs gasping for air. Immediately she became aware of his heartbeat, slow and steady, the air pushing easily through his lungs. Immediately her body began to tune itself to the rhythm of his. Jaxon flung up her arms to knock his hand from her neck. “See? Right there! You can’t do things like this. No one can synchronize heartbeats exactly the way we do. Stop whatever you’re doing right this minute. You’re making me crazy.”

  His hand had not moved from the nape of her neck, a curiously intimate position she found rather soothing in spite of everything. Jaxon sighed and rested her head against his arm. “You’re making me crazy,” she murmured again tiredly.

  “You think you cannot accept the things I tell you, but eventually your mind will overcome its human limitations.” He said it so gently that her heart turned over.

  The moment she gave in to the inevitable and relaxed against him, her heart and lungs immediately took on the slower, calming rhythm of his. Lucian pulled her into his arms and cradled her like a child so that she felt protected and safe. Jaxon stared up at his face, so still it could have been carved from stone, so beautiful he could have posed for the statues of the Greek gods.

  “I don’t want to feel anything for you.” She traced his perfect mouth with one fingertip. “It would hurt too much to do that.”

  He became shadow in her mind, carefully, so she wouldn’t recognize his touch, stilling the chaos of her thinking. He easily read her terrible fear for him.

  For

  him. Not really so much

  of

  him. “Listen to me, Jaxon, and this time hear what it is I am saying to you. Tyler Drake is human. He is not a vampire. He does not have supernatural powers. Drake has no chance against one such as myself. I have been in your mind, was with you as you examined the sites he chose to spy on this house. Did you think I really left you alone and unprotected? Did you really believe I would not know the moment you chose to leave this house? I will recognize his presence the moment he comes close to our property again. Tyler Drake cannot harm me in any way.”

  “If you knew I was out of the house and looking for Drake, didn’t it worry you that I might run into him?” she challenged. A man like Lucian would have secured her protection, had he really known.

  A faint smile took the edge of cruelty from his mouth. “I would have destroyed him from a distance. I am in your mind, honey. I can ‘see’ through your eyes. Anything I can see, I can destroy. If I connect with a person, and he hears my voice, I can destroy him. As I’ve said, I have certain abilities.”

  She lay in his arms quietly, trying to take in what he was telling her. “Lucian, how can any of this be? How can someone like you exist all this time and not one single person know about you?”

  “There are some who have found us out. We originated in the Carpathian Mountains, and we refer to ourselves as Carpathian. There are humans who hunt us, who seek to murder us, There are scientists who would take us apart in a laboratory. They fear we are vampire, and, although we are few, they fear our powers.”

  “You scare me to death.”

  “No, I do not. The differences are difficult for your mind to accept. Do not confuse that with fear of me. You know I would never harm you. I am incapable of harming you. You are my heart and soul. The air I breathe. You bring light to the terrible darkness in my soul.” He captured her hand and brought it to the warmth of his mouth. “There are moments when I feel you can collect all the missing pieces of my soul and put them back into place and make me whole once again.”

  “Is that how you really see me, Lucian?” Jaxon’s large eyes looked into the dark, empty depths of his.

  “It is who you are, Jaxon,” he said softly. “I need you. The rest of the world does not need you the way I do. To live. To breathe. You are my laughter and, I suspect, my tears. You are my very life.”

  “You can’t feel that way about me when you’ve just met me. You don’t know me at all.”

  “I have been in your mind many times, Jaxon. How could I not know you? You have already captured my heart. I am the one who must find a way to make you love me in spite of all my sins.”

  “Do you have so very many?” she asked softly. He was turning her inside out with what he was admitting. He seemed so self-sufficient, how could he ever need anyone, least of all someone with all her problems?

  “My soul is stained so black, my love, there is no real way to ever redeem it. I am a dark angel of death. I have carried out my duties for centuries and know no other way of life.”

  “There’s that word again.

  Centuries

  .” A faint smile chased the shadows from her face. “If you’re such a dark, terrible person, why don’t I sense evil when I’m around you? I know I don’t have your”—she floundered for a moment, unable to think of the right word—”gifts, but I have a built-in radar system for anything evil. I feel the presence of it immediately. You can’t possibly have a black soul, Lucian.”

  He moved then, a mere casual ripple of muscles, but he was standing without any effort, Jaxon in his arms. “You must eat, little one. You are wasting away right in front of me.”

  “You pick me up so much, I thought you’d appreciate the fact that I’m not carrying extra pounds.”

  Lucian plopped her down on the counter. “You are not going to try to tell me you do not eat because you worry I will not be able to pick you up.”

  She crossed her legs and arched one eyebrow. “I was more worried you’d strain your back.” She tried not to watch the way the muscles rippled suggestively beneath the thin white silk of his shirt.

  He laughed softly at her outrageous suggestion as he began to put together a base for a soup. “You will not disobey me again, Jaxon, not when it comes to matters of safety.”

  “‘Disobey’? Interesting word. I don’t think I really fully understand the meaning of the word, being a grown wo
man and all.”

  “Grown woman. Is that what you call it? You think you are as grown as you are going to get? A frightening thought.”

  “I hope you don’t really think I’m going to obey you,” Jaxon said softly, meaning it. She leaned over to get his attention. “You don’t, do you?”

  He shrugged with that casual grace, the movement that always took her breath away. “I have never had to ask more than once.”

  She sat back with a quick frown. “What does that mean? You wouldn’t dare to use that threatening voice of yours on me.”

  He looked up from his task, his black gaze holding hers. “You would never know if I were, would you?” His voice was very, very soft.

  Jaxon jumped to the floor, barely restraining herself from kicking him in the shins. “I’ve had enough of this. You know, it isn’t as if you’re asking me to accept some weird aunt in your family or something. You’re not exactly the everyday, average fiancй. I’m not changing who I am for you. I worked my way up in the department because I’m good at what I do. I’m very good. Have a little respect.”

  He stirred the soup without changing expression. “You think I have no respect for you and the things you have had to cope with in your life? You cannot possibly think that. You are angry for no reason, Jaxon. I cannot change who I am either. It is my sworn duty to care for you. It was imprinted on me before my birth. Do you think that changes because you are mortal?”

  “Oh, God, the mortal thing again. At least someone actually gave birth to you. That’s a relief.” She pushed a hand through her hair. “Look at me, Lucian.”

  At her command, he turned obediently. She examined his face intently, a slow sweep of his sensual features before her gaze rested thoughtfully on his black eyes. “I would know. You would never even attempt to hide such a thing from me. You’d feel guilty.”

  “I would never feel guilty for forcing you to care for your health, angel. Do not make the mistake of giving me too much credit. I would feel guilty for concealing things from you, true. It is not right between lifemates. In any case, you have only to examine my mind.”

  Jaxon found herself laughing at the thought. “I can barely comprehend the things you tell me. I’m certainly not going to go trotting around in a brain that’s several centuries old. That’s just asking for trouble. How is it you can sound modern—sort of—if you’re really so darned ancient?”

  Lucian turned back to his soup. “It is not hard. I study and adapt quickly to new environments. It is necessary when one wishes to fit in. Sit at the table.”

  She tapped her foot. “The smell is not making me sick. That’s you, isn’t it? You’re doing something so I can smell food without feeling sick.”

  “Yes.” He saw no reason to deny it. “It is necessary that you eat. I do not want to make the decision to bring you over because you are unable to take sustenance. That would not be right.”

  Bring you over.

  Jaxon found a chair and sat down in it rather abruptly. Why did that sound like something straight out of a vampire novel? She waved a hand dismayingly in the air at him. “No more of that. Don’t think it, and don’t ever say it again. I’m getting used to the ‘centuries’ thing, but the ‘bring you over’ thing is too much.”

  Lucian placed a bowl of soup in front of her. His mind, connected as it was with hers, assumed the lead. He built the feeling of hunger in her. The idea that the broth smelled delicious and she wanted to eat it. He commanded her body not to reject it and reinforced the order with a “push” so there would be no mistakes. Very gently he rested a hand on her shoulder, needing the physical contact with her.

  Never once had he allowed himself to express what he had felt when he realized she was leaving the house. He examined it now, there in the kitchen, turning the unfamiliar emotion over and over in his mind.

  Fear

  . He had been afraid for her. Not that Drake would find her, but of having to use her to destroy Drake. He would not want her to have to face such a thing.

  Fear

  . Fear that a vampire would discover her away from the protection he had woven for her within the grounds and the house.

  Fear

  . He had never experienced such an emotion. It had been gut-wrenching.

  Lucian tangled his fingers in the wealth of her blond hair. She tipped her head back to look up at him, surprised by the way his fist was clenched in her hair. “What is it? What are you thinking about?” There was no expression on his face, nothing in his eyes to give him away, but Jaxon was beginning to know him. That small telltale sign of tension revealed that his thoughts had not been pleasant. “Tell me.”

  “I feared for you. Earlier, when you were away from the safety of the house.” Lucian did not think to avoid the truth.

  Jaxon responded immediately, wrapping her fingers around the thickness of his wrist. “You said yourself that I was perfectly safe.”

  “From Drake, you were safe,” he admitted, staring down at her hand in wonder. Her fingers didn’t even curl halfway around his wrist, yet she wielded so much power over him. “Drake cannot harm you.”

  “He has power, Lucian. He could get to Barry. I know you think you’re invincible, but a sniper’s bullet can kill from a great distance, and Drake is an excellent marksman. He doesn’t have to face you.” She ducked her head. “That’s how Drake can harm me. That’s how he’s always done it—through someone else, someone who matters to me. That’s why I don’t want to be with you.”

  Above her head he found himself smiling. “You are beginning to have feelings for me.”

  “Keep telling yourself that,” she told him. “This soup is good. I’m surprised you know how to cook.” She didn’t want to examine too closely or allude in any real way to what he did or didn’t eat. Now wasn’t the time to scare herself to death. She stood up carefully, moving away from him in a feminine little retreat he found secretly amusing.

  Everything she did was like that. It lit him up inside. Filled him with warmth. Made him want to smile. More than that, he

  had

  to smile. He watched as she very carefully, very domestically, washed out the bowl and spoon.

  Jaxon caught him watching her. “What?” She sounded defensive.

  “I like watching you,” he admitted easily. “I like having you in my house.”

  She tried not to let him see how much his words pleased her. Maybe she was just lonely. Maybe she was entirely too susceptible to his beautiful eyes. His voice. Or maybe his mouth. Or maybe it was because he was drop-dead gorgeous. She sighed aloud. “I’m going upstairs to rest for a while. Life with you is way too much excitement for me.”

  Lucian followed her up the stairs, carrying her sniper’s rifle. “This thing weighs almost as much as you do, Jaxon.”

  “You said you knew I was out of the house,” she suddenly mused aloud, completely ignoring his teasing. “Why didn’t I know what you were doing?”

  “You didn’t look.”

  She glanced at him over her shoulder, her large eyes eloquent with censure. “Look? Look at what?”

  “My mind.” He spoke in an even voice without any inflection at all. “I stay a shadow in your mind. Aside from the fact that it is much safer for me to know what you are doing at every moment, it is necessary for us to touch each other to be comfortable.”

  “You know, Lucian, if I had any brains at all, I wouldn’t let you suck me in this way. You throw out these casual statements, and my curiosity always gets the better of me.” She flung her knives and guns onto the dresser, pulled her cap from her pocket, and added that to the growing pile.

  Lucian was watching her through half-closed eyes, a small smile curving his mouth. “Look at you, a walking arsenal.”

  “Well, at least I know how to protect myself. You think you’re so powerful, not even a sniper’s bullet can get you.”

  “We are back to that. Honey, I can command the heavens, move the earth, move my body through time and space. I am much more arm
ed at all times than you will ever be. Do not look at me with your big brown eyes and that little frown on your face. You are in grave danger, for I have a desire to kiss that look right off your face.” Jaxon backed away from him so quickly, she fell backward onto the bed, alarm on her face. “Stay across the room, you fiend.” She held up one hand to ward him off. “No talking, and no looking at me either. You use unfair tactics to get your way.”

  He stalked her right across the room, looming over her small figure like a conqueror of old. “You deserve some kind of punishment for leaving this house after you so sincerely promised me you would stay put.”

  “I assured you I had no intention of going out dancing,” she pointed out virtuously. “I can’t think where you ever got the idea that I intended to sit around waiting for you. I have things to do. Modern-day women do not sit at home while their men go out and play.”

  He touched her face with one fingertip, tracing her soft skin, the delicate line of her high cheekbone. “I told you to stay here.”

  “I was merely out walking. Fresh air is good for a person—didn’t you know that? And walking is the greatest exercise of all. It can be done anywhere, anytime.” She looked absolutely convinced of it. “Walking doesn’t count as going out.”

  Lucian sat on the bed, crowding her. “Walking.” He murmured the word absently, his fingers tangling in her hair. The feel of it against his skin distracted him. “Do not place yourself at risk again, angel. I will take action next time.”

  She shoved at the wall of his chest, more to get some breathing room than for any other reason. He seemed capable of robbing her of her very air. “I hope you don’t think you’re threatening me with something. I’m a police officer, Lucian. Threats are not a great way to win favors.”

  “I do not need favors, and I do not much care for your rather strange choice of occupations. This may not be a good time to bring it up, but you do not seem to understand. I have never had anyone question my decisions. You will not place yourself at risk again.” He never raised his voice; if anything, it was softer, gentler than ever before. He sounded mild, almost absently giving his order to her.