Colleen poked her head around the door. Dillon was sitting on a blanket holding Toby in front of him. Toby was studying his daddy very solemnly with those big blue eyes.
“No? Not that sound? Okay, about this one?” He leaned forward and very gently made a raspberry noise against Toby’s tiny tummy. The baby’s eyes got big and round and then he squealed and grabbed a handful of Dillon’s hair.
“You little squirt,” Dillon said, disentangling himself and smiling at his son. “You are going to be trouble when you grow up, you know that? And I’m going to love you no matter what.”
Toby blew a bubble. He smiled.
It was a beautiful thing to see, this big man and this tiny baby enjoying each other’s company. Then she realized that she was snooping. She hadn’t even announced her presence.
“You’re going to get a stiff neck sticking your head around corners that way,” Dillon said, making her jump and squeal almost as loud as Toby had.
She came all the way into the room. “I didn’t mean to keep my presence a secret and I wasn’t spying,” she protested. “Well, maybe just a little.”
“Uh-oh, Toby. I wonder how much of our conversation she heard. She probably knows our secrets now. We may have to tie her up and hold her prisoner.”
Toby’s eyes followed every movement of his father’s head and mouth. He made a very small grunt.
“Toby says we must show lenience to the princess who has sheltered us and given us asylum.” Dillon put his hand in front of his face to block his mouth and spoke to Colleen in an aside. “My son has a heart of gold, it seems, but I was kind of looking forward to having you as my prisoner,” he teased.
“Toby, pay no attention to your daddy’s antics. He’s crazy.” She leaned closer and smiled at the baby, who gifted her with one of his most beatific smiles.
“You’re an angel, sweetie,” she told him, “but it looks as if you’re wearing part of your dinner.” Milk had dribbled down his neck.
“A slight incident with the bottle,” Dillon told her. “I was just going to give him a bath. We were just waiting.”
“For what?”
“A how-to session,” he said. “It occurred to me that reading your instructions on how to give a baby a bath while in the midst of actually carrying out those instructions might be tricky, given all the water and soap and slippery baby and instruction sheets. What if I smudge the paper and can’t figure out what to do next?” His smile was huge, his teasing tone was seductive.
She reached out and placed her hand on his jaw. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”
This time he didn’t smile and he turned into her hand slightly, his beard scratching a bit. She loved the sensation. Her heart did a flip. “Don’t have to what?” he asked. “Give the baby a bath?” His voice echoed through her body right down to her toes.
She shook her head slowly. “You don’t have to be careful with me. You don’t have to make me laugh, although I like laughing with you. You don’t have to shy away from the difficult topics. I can’t have a baby. You know it. I know it. We’ve said it out loud, and that’s not a problem. I’m not made of glass. Okay?”
“Not glass. Flesh and bone and…I’m sorry. I just can’t ignore the fact that you’ve been hurt, Colleen.”
“You can’t change it, either. I know that all too well. It was a freak riding accident where I ended up cut up. When the doctors told me that I’d never have children, it stunned me at first, that riding—something I love so much—could take the thing I most wanted. I got angry, and I hated the fact that I was broken when I’d never let anything break me before. So, I got back on my horse and spent a lot of time riding the range and screaming at the sky that first year. I channeled my anger into my racing, but finally I realized that I could fight and yell all my life and it wouldn’t change a thing. So, I put it behind me—mostly—and I need you to put it out of your mind, too. I would hate it if you pitied me or were careful with me because of this. So, Dillon…don’t be careful.”
For several seconds, tension filled the air as he stared at her, studied her.
“Dillon, I mean it.”
He muttered a curse and looked to one side.
“Dillon?”
He swung his head around, his eyes dark and fierce. “All right.”
She frowned. “That could mean a lot of things.”
“In this case,” he said quietly, “it means I won’t be…careful.”
Which sounded so much more dangerous than he probably meant it to, Colleen was sure. She nodded and managed a shaky smile. “So, okay, yes,” she said, determined to change the subject and the mood. “I’ll show you how to give a baby a bath. It’s not difficult. You just have to make sure to put everything out that you need ahead of time, because you can never leave him alone in the tub. I’ll show you how to make sure the temperature of the water is right. And I just know you’re going to be a whiz at this. Because you like to talk and tease. And Toby likes to listen to people talk and tease while he takes a bath.”
“Ah, another one of those teacher-type pats on the back,” he said, allowing her to move beyond the “Colleen can’t have babies” topic. “I’m starting to like those.”
And because she was starting to like a lot of things about Dillon, far too much, Colleen made herself get right to the task. Dillon talked to his son the whole time he was cleaning him up, but the excitement of having his two favorite people to himself at the same time was clearly too much. His arms flailed more than usual, and by the time they were through, both Colleen and Dillon had generous splashes of water dotting their clothes. Toby, of course, was adorable and dry in his little towel with the hood.
“Thank you for the lesson. I think I’ve got the hang of it now, but you’d better go put on something dry.”
“Oh, I’m okay,” she said. “I can handle a little water.”
“Maybe so, but I’m not sure that I can, or that I can be trusted,” Dillon said, looking pointedly at her shirt where, she realized as she looked down, the outline of her bra was visible through the damp cloth.
Her eyes opened wide. She crossed her arms over her chest. “You,” she said to Toby, “need to learn to bathe with more decorum and less splashing. You’ve embarrassed your daddy.” And she leaned forward and kissed the baby’s forehead. “Excuse me. I’ll just take your advice and go put on something dry, change the scenery,” she told Dillon.
He smiled and leaned forward and kissed her right beneath the ear. “The scenery is beautiful. It’s the observer who isn’t sure he won’t reach out and grab, given the chance. Not that I’m saying I would have gotten the chance or anything, mind you.”
“You’ll never know now, will you?” she teased as she left the room.
“That thing she told you about not splashing?” she heard Dillon say to Toby. “Don’t listen. Splashing is fun, although that may be totally a guy thing. That’s us, buddy. You and me. We’re guys. Colleen, now, she’s a woman. A beautiful woman,” he clarified. “Especially beautiful after bathtime.”
Colleen blushed all the way to her room. And in the middle of the night, she woke up, remembered Dillon’s comment and blushed some more. She definitely needed to start pulling away or at least to work harder about not getting too close.
Think of staying away from Dillon as just another ranch chore, a goal, she told herself. Something you just need to do. But when she closed her eyes, she felt his mouth on hers, and her goals…she couldn’t even remember what they were.
CHAPTER EIGHT
FIVE days later, the tension climbed a little higher, but this was nothing like the tension caused by her reactions to Dillon, Colleen thought as she hung up the phone and reviewed the conversation that had just transpired.
She had been meaning to call Lisa back ever since that first day when her phone had rung. Despite her anger at Lisa leaving Toby, a part of her had hoped that the woman had had some sort of valid reason. But what kind of valid reason could there be for abandoning
your child and leaving no forwarding address…or not telling your husband or even your ex-husband that you were expecting his child until you had already delivered the baby?
So, despite the fact that the number had been on her phone’s call log, she had put off contacting Lisa. Given the order of things, Lisa had probably simply been trying to reach Dillon, anyway. And she had already done so. At least that was what Colleen had told herself…until the phone call from Lisa this morning.
“I hear that Dillon is staying at your ranch,” Lisa had said.
Colleen took a deep breath and considered her words carefully. She knew that Dillon hadn’t mentioned that fact in his phone call with Lisa. “I assume you’ve spoken to someone in town.”
“I still have a few contacts there, yes. They don’t know everything, though. So, why is he there?”
For some reason Colleen didn’t want to tell Lisa that Dillon was taking lessons in parenting. If he wanted her to know that, he’d tell her. Besides, Colleen was afraid to tell her. Lisa was Toby’s mother. She had rights, and one of those rights was to come ask for her baby back. There was no law stopping her. If someone else had something she no longer had, if Toby’s value increased because Dillon wanted him, she might decide she wanted Toby, too.
“Dillon’s a guest,” Colleen said noncommittally.
“The Applegate never was a guest ranch.”
Colleen could have told Lisa that it still wasn’t, but that would only call up more questions. “I’m always adding new sidelines to the Applegate. Horses are expensive to keep.”
“But Dillon is your only guest. If there had been others, Bill would have told me.”
Colleen frowned. So Bill Winters was the one spilling his guts to Lisa. Not a surprise, since he’d always wanted to date her.
“How long do you think he’s going to stay there?”
Probably not long, but…
“I have no idea,” Colleen said, but she was wondering why Lisa hadn’t asked one question about Toby.
“How’s the baby?” Lisa asked, as if she’d read Colleen’s mind.
Perfect. Adorable. A total love. How could you leave him that way? Colleen thought. “He’s doing well,” she said.
“I can’t come get him just yet,” Lisa said. “Maybe when my situation changes.” Which made Colleen’s blood turn cold. If Dillon’s contacts were right, Lisa was partying hard in Europe, not worrying about her baby. But, when she wanted something—if she should ever decide she wanted Toby—Colleen had no question that Lisa could “change her situation” at will, play the part of remorseful mother and play it convincingly enough to fool a judge who was in charge of determining the terms of custody.
“Let me offer a friendly word of warning,” Lisa suddenly said. “Dillon’s an attractive man and a wealthy one, but he’s also used to calling the shots. He isn’t easy to handle, even for someone who’s experienced and knows how to handle men. I know you don’t have that kind of experience, Colleen. I know a lot. I would be careful around Dillon if I were you.”
Colleen felt as if bands of fear and indignation were squeezing her heart. “It’s nice of you to worry about me, Lisa.”
At that moment, Dillon walked in the door. Those bands closed tighter. And on the other end of the line, Lisa was laughing. It sounded like light laughter, but Colleen thought she heard a hard edge to it. Or maybe that was just her imagination because she was afraid Lisa would someday try to reclaim Toby on one of those whims she and Dillon had discussed.
Lisa, Colleen mouthed to Dillon.
“Of course I worry about you, Colleen,” Lisa said. “No one knows better than I do that I took advantage of your kindness, but I’d hate to see you hurt by Dillon. And you will get hurt if you start thinking of him romantically. But then, you’ve never really been the romantic sort, have you?”
“No, I’m not romantic. You don’t have to worry about me falling in love with Dillon,” Colleen said, and she knew that her words were as much to reassure herself and Dillon as they were to stop Lisa from any more warnings.
“Good. I was really concerned for you when Bill told me that. Since you’re taking care of Toby, I feel kind of protective toward you, and if I thought you were in danger of getting your heart broken by Dillon, I’d feel responsible. After all, he would never even be there if not for me. Maybe I should have left Toby with someone older, but you seemed like the right person at the time.”
Colleen felt anger rising in her. She felt threatened, and she wanted nothing more than to tell Lisa off, but there was Toby and there was Dillon. Both of them would suffer if Lisa decided to…act like Lisa. Colleen couldn’t do anything that would incite her to get angry and take action.
“Well, I really appreciate that, Lisa. I do,” Colleen lied. “And, thank you again. But I really have to go now. A ranch takes a lot of time and effort and I have a foal that desperately needs tending to. I’m sure we can talk more later.”
She hung up without letting Lisa even say goodbye.
If Dillon hadn’t been standing there, Colleen would have pressed her hands against her heart. She would have leaned over, put her hands on her knees and taken deep breaths to keep from getting dizzy. She had hung up on Lisa Farraday, who had the power to harm Dillon and Toby.
“What did she want?” Dillon asked.
What could she say? He had been there when she made that declaration about not falling in love with him.
Colleen turned to him. “I think she wanted to make sure I wasn’t poaching what she still thinks of as hers. I think I just became Esme Hawkins and you’re the pretty dress.”
Dillon looked unconvinced. “You’re forgetting that Lisa was the one who divorced me.”
No, she wasn’t forgetting that. If Lisa hadn’t divorced Dillon, the two of them would still be married. Colleen hadn’t forgotten that. And wouldn’t. But that wasn’t what he was trying to say.
“Lisa may not be married to you anymore, but this is her town and her territory, and she is, as I mentioned, still the queen here. That means no one takes her place. Even if she divorced you, that may have just been the impetuous, scorned woman reacting. She probably didn’t like it that you put your work before her pleasure, so she was punishing you. Knowing Lisa, she probably assumed she could come back and remarry you whenever she wanted, and you’d go along with that the way other men have. She’d have more power over you, because you would have learned your lesson. That’s pure speculation based on her past performance, of course, but no matter what, she wouldn’t want someone from here to waltz in and take what was once hers. And I…I think she may have threatened me. I definitely hung up on her. That’s not good.”
“Are you afraid of her?”
Colleen examined that statement. “Not for me.” Lisa couldn’t take anything from her, Colleen realized, because she didn’t really have anything Lisa wanted. “But for you and Toby—I don’t want to antagonize her. She could make things difficult for you.”
“Regarding custody.”
“Yes.”
“I’ve thought of that. I’m hoping we can reach an amicable arrangement.”
They stared at each other for a long time. “What kind of arrangement do you want?” she asked.
“One where I get him all the time.”
“You don’t want to have to go to court over this.”
“If what you say is true, and I believe it may be, then no. I like situations where I control all the variables. But, in the event that I might have to go to court—and it could come to that—I want to hold as many of the cards as I can.”
“You need to demonstrate that you’re the perfect dad.” In Colleen’s eyes, he was already that. But she wasn’t a judge.
“I don’t want to leave even one stone unturned.”
She nodded. “Then we’d better consider all the possibilities, we’d better make sure you’re as knowledgeable about raising a child as we can make you and we’d better make sure we cover all the bases and get you into the perf
ect setup back in Chicago as soon as possible.”
Dillon suddenly smiled at her, and her heart did a triple somersault. “You are an amazing woman,” he said. “You deserve an award, national recognition, a plaque and a spot on television about women who have made a difference. You’re certainly being a tremendous help to me and Toby.”
How could a woman not fall in love with a man who said things like that? Colleen wondered, then immediately regretted the thought. She couldn’t fall in love with him. For so many reasons, ranging from the fact that Lisa would punish him if she thought that Colleen was showing an interest to the fact that Dillon really would break her heart to the fact that they lived in different worlds and different lifestyles a thousand miles apart. And both of them were committed to those worlds and those lifestyles. Her place was here. She mattered here. What was a woman supposed to do?
“Thank you,” she said, doing the simple thing. “Now, I really should get some work done. I’d call Bill Winters and give him a piece of my mind for reporting on me and you to Lisa but he’d probably just tell her that I threatened him.”
“I wouldn’t worry about the man,” Dillon said.
“Dillon, you can’t do anything that would make you look…I don’t know…violent at a time like this.”
He shook his head. “I wouldn’t do anything that would cause a problem.” Which meant he probably still had some sort of plan.
Colleen looked at him and saw the warrior, the man who dealt in solutions. She could have told him to leave things alone completely, but…
“Who’s worried?” she lied with a smile. “Everything here is just perfect.”
Except for the fact that she kept wanting to kiss Dillon Farraday, everything was just fine.
“I mean it, Colleen,” Dillon said. And just like that, he moved forward, looped his arm around her waist and pulled her so close that their mouths were almost touching. “Leave Bill to me. You’re not to get hurt on my account.”
“I won’t,” she lied.
“And I heard what you said about falling in love with me. We may not be in danger of that, but there’s this,” he said, kissing her so that it was all she could do not to wrap her arms around his neck and hang on. “It’s a problem.”
Rodeo Bride Page 9
