Sicilian Defense

by Andrey Vasilyev

  “But who is she?”

  “The old witch?” De Blassi looked at me in surprise, shocked that I wouldn’t know something that was such common knowledge.

  “No, no, Heliana.”

  “Heliana?” De Blassi went silent for a moment. “Let’s do this, my friend. I don’t have the right to share order secrets with outsiders, even if you are a hero. But I can request permission from the Conclave of Five. If they allow it, I’ll tell you everything there is to know. Stop by tomorrow, and I’ll have an answer for you. And in the meantime, these are yours.”

  You received the Inquisitor Beads.

  You received the Inquisitor Amulet.

  So he hadn’t actually said anything, although… Was that him hinting at a quest series? There was definitely something interesting going on. I was intrigued if it was, like the quest series I’d gotten from other NPC societies which had paid nice dividends. That option, I knew, would also provide excellent cover for a certain other quest series nobody was supposed to find out about.

  Inquisitor Beads

  Reputational item

  Gives you the following bonuses when in your inventory:

  +5 friendship with the Rattermark inquisition

  +3% mental protection

  +2% damage done against undead

  Minimum level for use: 25

  Cannot be stolen, lost, broken, or gifted.

  It wasn’t a bad item at all—I didn’t have to wear it, and it still gave me a little edge.

  Inquisitor Amulet

  Reputational item

  Gives you the following bonuses when in your inventory:

  +9 friendship with the Rattermark inquisition

  +4% mana restoration speed

  -6% damage done to you by undead

  Minimum level for use: 25

  Cannot be stolen, lost, broken, or gifted.

  “Then I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said to de Blassi before logging out of the game.

  At home, the first thing I saw was Vika, who was steaming mad. Regardless of the late hour, she was angrily clattering around in the kitchen.

  “What’s going on?” I asked her cautiously. “Did something happen?”

  “Everything’s fine,” she replied. I decided that was enough and, hearing nothing further from her and figuring that I needed to get at least a few hours of sleep before the morning, turned to head toward the bedroom. “It’s just ridiculous!”

  Oh, damn it. No such luck!

  “What’s just ridiculous, oh rose of my heart?” I asked soulfully. “Who dared hurt you?”

  “Your little Shelestova,” Vika said, her eyes narrowing. “That little bitch pushed me all day long. ‘Vika, did I put this paper away correctly?’ “Vika, does this pencil belong here?’ I have no idea how I didn’t kill her.”

  Her impression was a good one, I had to admit. The intonation, the slow phrases…

  “Vika, don’t dramatize it,” I said, trying to cool her off before clouds of steam started to puff out of her ears. “You’re just bumping heads—you’re both young, beautiful, talented…it happens.”

  Ooph, that was a mistake. I shouldn’t have said “you’re both.” Here we go…and I’m so tired.

  “Who’s young? Who’s beautiful?” Vika yelled. “That mangy cat? You couldn’t throw a stick without hitting someone she’s slept with. And what did you two talk about after I left? Why was she giving you sweet little hugs like that? Is there something I don’t know?”

  “We weren’t talking about anything in particular,” I replied with a shrug. “Just taking care of little things.”

  Ah-ha, so somebody’s already tattling on me—they made their choice, and not in my favor. I had to figure out who they were and hang them out to dry. I made a mental note to find them and…I’ll think of something. I have a good imagination.

  “You know what?” Vika said, her voice suddenly calm. “She’d better be out of the office in a week, or…”

  “Or?” I asked. I’m a huge fan of people giving me ultimatums.

  “Or she’ll be out of the office regardless. Call Zimin, sweetie. If you don’t, I’ll make a call, only I’ll call Eliza.”

  “Hold on right there,” I said, holding out my hands. “Let’s go to bed. We can talk about it in the morning with fresh heads.”

  “Sounds good,” Vika agreed. “Though I hope you heard what I said.”

  Mmhmm, somebody’s sharpening their fangs…

  Chapter Ten

  In which the hero spends a lot of time talking.

  I had no idea how Vika slept, agitated as she’d been the previous day, but I slept like a baby. Waking up the next morning was not something I wanted to do, though my gurgling stomach gave me no other choice. It smelled oladyi [6]and burst into the dream I was having.

  Once I’d woken up, I stretched and sniffed again. There it was: the incomparable smell of hot batter and vanilla. Oladyi! It smelled like grandma’s house.

  A quick walk to the kitchen told me that I was right on the money. A large plate was heaped high with a food beloved by all men and vilified as unhealthy and fattening by all women. Small dishes with jelly and honey rounded out the delightful picture.

  “We don’t have any sour cream,” Vika said as she dropped yet another set of oladyi onto the plate. “I didn’t think about it yesterday, so I didn’t buy any. It’s a shame…”

  “Oh, forget the sour cream.” I grabbed the first oladya I saw. “I’ll take them all, sour cream or no sour cream. Okay, so maybe I’ll leave a couple for you.”

  “Hold on a second,” Vika replied, arms akimbo. “You don’t have to take a shower or shave, but you should at least put some pants on.”

  Her demand was a reasonable one, and I was back shoveling in mouthful after delicious mouthful a mere two minutes later. As I dipped the oladyi into the dishes with jam and honey, I realized I’d made the right move not setting Vika straight the day before. In the intervening time, she’d calmed down, thought about it, and drawn some conclusions. Good for her; delicious for me. I did need to make sure the whole thing didn’t happen again though.

  The previous day’s scandal sat across from me as I worked my way through the mountain of breakfast. Well, to be fair, it was already more of a small hill.

  I finally pushed back from the table, looked at the rubble I’d left in my wake, and clasped my hands over my stomach.

  “Thanks, babe. And may Jesus Christ himself bless you with one of the happinesses you desire.”

  “That’s one way of putting it.” Vika shook her head. “Full?”

  I nodded.

  “So you’re in a good mood?” the little fox asked slyly.

  I’d already figured out what she was up to. And thank God—I was starting to think I overestimated her yesterday.

  “I’d say so. And pretty safe, too—I couldn’t even get up if I wanted to, not to mention chase someone down.”

  “Excellent.” Vika looked down and mumbled through the rest of her speech. “Hey, I got a little carried away yesterday. I don’t know what it was—first one thing, then another, and by the end I’d just lost it. That Shelestova with all her smiles, jokes, antics… Anyway, it all got to me, and I took it all out on you. I really wouldn’t have called anyone, I hope you didn’t think that…”

  “Even if you had,” I replied, still breathing heavily after the huge breakfast, “you’d have only made things worse for yourself.”

  “What do you mean?” Vika was already feeling better, and clearly relieved that I didn’t look too mad at her. “Eliza told me…”

  “You know how many people have told me I could call them any time of day or night and they’d do whatever they could for me? Handed me their business cards, shook my hand? Do you think any of them actually followed through with it?”

  “No?” Vika figured that’s where I was going.

  “None of the ones I asked for help. But I only asked three times, back when I was young and stupid, and then I realized there wa
s no point trying any more. It’s pretty much a universal truth that you have to take care of your own problems yourself.”

  “But Eliza said…” Vika didn’t want to give up her idea that there was someone besides me standing behind her—even though Eliza was just a secretary, she still wielded considerable influence. It was a sweet illusion of cover from above and the dream that the All-Powerful would come and reduce her enemies to quivering piles of shock and awe. They’d see the chasm open in front of them, their eyes popping at the inevitability of their fate.

  Sure, it was a shame that she hadn’t actually called Eliza. The bitter taste of rejection would have driven the message home, as I had no doubt Eliza would have just laughed at her. My Vika was still young, the world still untasted and untested for her. She knew how to work—she was running the whole office, after all—but she still needed to learn about human nature. I guess she really did spend her whole time at school studying.

  “Vika, babe, yesterday you made two mistakes. What were they?”

  Vika thought for a second.

  “I have a bunch of ideas, but I’ll only say one—the rest are just nonsense.”

  She got the go-ahead wave from me.

  “I tried to squeeze you and solve my problems that way. I can’t do that, because we shouldn’t mix work with what we have here.”

  “Nicely done. You thought of that during the night, and then you memorized it—it was good, vivid, repentant. Just like in kindergarten, though that’s not such a bad thing,” I replied with a nod. “But you’re not quite right, and that wasn’t the whole problem, though you did pick up on the main idea. We won’t be able to avoid mixing work and our private lives, whether we want it or not, since the two are inextricably linked. Nobody’d believe that we’re just sleeping together, regardless, even if that were true. Everyone knows you’re my lover–”

  Vika grimaced.

  “What are you wrinkling your nose for?” I asked sharply. “It’s the truth, isn’t it? And I don’t think there’s anything shameful about that word—break it down and tell me what it’s about at the root. Anyway. Everyone already knows, even the new ones, since our guys told them the minute they asked what the boss was like. Yesterday, you got pushed around and provoked—you and me both, actually. She nipped at me a couple times, too. She tried, at least. The only difference was that I saw what was going on and didn’t take the bait; you went for it. I’m just glad you blew up at home, and not at work.”

  Vika looked down.

  “Ah, you let her have it at work, too?” I grunted understandingly. “Well, congratulations—you’re going to feel like an idiot today.”

  “I can take it—I deserve it,” Vika admitted. “But Shelestova is still a bitch.”

  “Nobody’s going to disagree with you there,” I replied. “But she’s smart, and she’s a slick operator. She wasn’t just trying to get you upset; she probably wanted to see if you could push me. How did she respond when you went off on her?”

  Vika’s forehead scrunched up as she thought, and then she stared at me.

  “She said something like, ‘you can’t do anything yourself.’ It was a joke—she wasn’t really yelling.”

  “Exactly. And what did you do?”

  “I came home…” Vika faltered.

  “And started telling yourself how you were going to show her, and how dare she,” I prompted her. “Then you got mad at me—time was ticking, I was in the game, and Shelestova was getting off scot-free. So you let me have it…”

  Vika flushed.

  “And I was there for the rest. So your first mistake was underestimating your opponent,” I continued, wrapping things up. “You handed her the initiative, and she used that to manipulate you. She was right on the money, too—it was a great play. Have you figured out what she was going for yet?”

  She smacked herself in the forehead.

  “If you’d been in a bad mood yesterday, you’d have…”

  I nodded my assent, a kind smile on my face.

  “Exactly. She would have been able to take out the current assistant using only your impulsiveness.”

  “What was my second mistake?” Vika’s eyes glistened—she was completely in the moment.

  “You were in a hurry.” I took a sip of tea. “This couldn’t be more cliché, but revenge is a dish best served cold. You flared up, exploded, puffed up your tail, and ran off to make a call, just about upsetting the apple cart as you did. Well, not even ‘just about’; you did upset it, though, thank heavens, it isn’t too bad. Never be in a hurry. Enjoy your revenge, plan for your revenge, wait for the right moment. She thinks you’re going to try to get back at her—you just smile. She’s going to push and prod you—you just smile. A day, two days, a month, six months will go by. Keep that smile on your face for as long as you have to until she lets down her guard. Then, when she loses focus, plant that knife in her back. Metaphorically, of course.”

  “But how?” Vika’s mind was starting to turn.

  “Hey now, that’s up to you. You need to discredit her in my eyes; not the other way around. If I have good reason for it, I’ll fire her. If I don’t have good reason, I won’t. So give your imagination a workout, read the classics, and talk to the girls from the public relations department—they’re masters at this. Quite a few of their bosses have gotten churned up in the engine. Work, think, plan, and go for it. Just don’t forget to keep that smile on your face. You’ll see—she’ll blink first.”

  Vika rubbed her hands, a crooked grin spreading across her face.

  “Don’t flatter yourself,” I warned her. “Shelestova is a smart cookie. Yesterday’s trick was just an improvisation, in case you haven’t figured that out. It wasn’t something she’d cooked up; she was just trying something on the run. And I’ve got to hand it to her, she did a great job.”

  “But if she’s such a smart cookie…” Vika was about to say something, though she stopped when she saw my smile. “Understood. Really, I get it.”

  “Well done, if you do. You picked up quickly. By the way, when you’re talking with her, add a little concern to your voice. You know, the way adults do when they’re talking with kids. That should work.”

  Vika clearly didn’t know why I recommended that trick, though she nodded obediently and headed toward the bedroom.

  I went for a smoke while she was getting ready for work, reflecting on how my little kingdom had been invaded by a devil in a skirt who also turned out to be quite the strategist. It had taken just a quick snap of her fingers to get Vika all tied up in knots, though I certainly didn’t tell her that. Her self-esteem had taken enough of a hit as it was. I wasn’t really upset with Vika, either—she was young, it was her first time playing office games, and her vanity had skyrocketed over the previous few months. And that was my fault, really. In the space of just those few months she’d gone from being a graduate without any special prospects to working as my assistant. She had a great salary and access to the bosses. Really, she was in charge of a weekly paper, and she was doing an excellent job. Why wouldn’t she have felt like the queen of the realm? If anything, I should have been thanking Shelestova for bringing Vika down to earth and correcting my mistake in the process. But why had she done it? She certainly didn’t need Vika’s job—someone who had turned down an offer from the White Sign wouldn’t have any need for an assistant position in a small weekly. Certainly not to the point of whipping up her intrigues, at least. I didn’t give any thought to the idea that she might be interested in me personally. My shabby figure wasn’t exactly the stuff of dreams for a femme fatale like her. Raidion? That was a possibility, though it was an awfully circuitous way of going about it…

  But she has to have something in mind. She can’t be doing all this for the fun of it, can she?

  “I’m headed out,” Vika said, walking out onto the balcony. “Ooh, it’s cold out here. Why aren’t you dressed? You’ll freeze in a t-shirt and sweatpants like that—the summer’s over. At least, put on a rob
e when you smoke. Or smoke in the stairwell when it’s cold out.”

  That wasn’t such a bad idea. It really was cold out…

  “Tomorrow we’re supposed to have that party at the office—is it still on?” I asked. “It isn’t canceled, is it?”

  “Yep. Yushkov would kill us if we tried to cancel it.” Vika looked at me closely. “Are you planning on coming?”

  “Of course, even if I don’t really want to,” I assured her. “And tell everyone today that I’ll definitely be there.”

  “Well, considering how the last party ended…” Vika shook her head.

  I grinned, nodded toward the bedroom, and shot back innocently.

  “What’s there not to like? I thought it ended very well.”

  Embarrassed, she gave me a kiss on the cheek and left.

  We’ll see about tomorrow. I need to be smart about how I play this.

  I was about to jump into the capsule when I clapped my forehead, headed into the kitchen, and grabbed the packet I’d left there in my drunken stupor. Nobody had found the energy to do anything with it so far.

  Opening it, I dumped a pile of cards, booklets, pamphlets, and other nonsense onto the table. Digging through everything revealed that I had medical insurance for an excellent medical center, complete with hospitalization and rehab; legal assistance; free access to a number of gyms; pools, and even tanning salons; and a bunch of other things I really didn’t need. I checked to see if there was a card for the Russian State Library and a permanent trolley pass, though I was out of luck there. Ah well.

  I scooped it all into a desk drawer and crawled into the capsule. Time was a’ticking.

  The sky above the mining village was gray once again. The climate certainly wasn’t great, possibly because the mountains were so close by. I figured the developers wanted to underline how dark and unwelcoming the area was.