Out From Under

by Selene Chardou

  Miraculously, the paparazzi actually parted and allowed them to walk to their limo, but it didn’t stop them from taking photos along the way.

  As soon as they got into the limo, the driver sped away and Trista stared at him with a wry smile on her face. “Well, so much for surprising Talia with the news.”

  “Turn your cell phone off. It’s what I did. I don’t want to talk to anyone.”

  “How did they find out so fast anyway?”

  Trinity cleared her throat. “Travis isn’t dumb. He probably heard me on the phone with Kelly and looking for a quick payday, he probably went trolling. He knows this scumbag who gives money for celebrity tips. I should have known better than to talk inside.”

  The more Linx heard about this Travis guy, the more angry he became. He couldn’t stand the thought of a man treating his sister like common trash.

  “Trinity, we’re leaving on Sunday. Can you get Kiki, a few sentimental pieces of jewelry or clothing and get the hell out of here?”

  Trinity glanced at her brother before she looked away “What about my job? I work for one of the best tattoo parlors here in Vegas—”

  “Nil and Loire own The Black Rose. They’ll take you on in a heartbeat as long as you aren’t into anything…heavy. They are both recovering addicts so they don’t like drugs around the place—”

  “Kelly and I smoke the occasional joint but that’s about it. I haven’t fucked Travis in six months because he has fallen into meth, Linx. I know what drugs do…I don’t do ‘em. I drink, of course, but never falling down style, plus…most of the time when I drink, I stay over at Kelly’s. A new law just went into effect that even if you’re only buzzed when you drive, you will be arrested, your license gets suspended and you’ll go to jail. I can’t afford for that to happen in my profession.”

  “You’ve got two days to get your shit together. I would suggest you take Kelly with you. Grab your stuff and stay at her house until we leave on Sunday. Tell Travis it’s a family emergency, but I’m not leaving you here with some meth addict.”

  His sister finally nodded. “Okay.”

  The limo pulled up to the hotel and again, a news crew plus various paparazzi were there, stopped at a certain point by hotel security. Linx and Trista got out and were able to stroll safely, and untouched, into the hotel. This time, he didn’t bother answering questions. His only concern was getting his bride upstairs and into their bed.

  LINX CRACKED OPEN a bottle of Cristal champagne, courtesy of the hotel, and poured them each a glass of the sparkling bubbly.

  He carried the bottle under his arm into the bedroom, the two glasses held in each hand. Trista sat on the bed looking down at her phone. When she looked up at him, her blue eyes were wide, but unreadable.

  Linx’s eyebrows furrowed. “What’s the matter, babe? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  “My brother.” She rolled her eyes. “Apparently we made some entertainment show and they talked about how we got married. They spoke of you as if you were a pedophile for marrying a ‘barely-legal’ young woman, their words, not mine. I’ve dated a fucking gang member and all the sudden, I’m some innocent due to my age? The fucking press—I swear to God they never get anything right.”

  “Well since I have seen you down alcohol like it was going out of style, here you go, my barely-legal, mail-order bride,” Linx joked as he handed her one of the fluted champagne glasses.

  She accepted it and downed it before he could manage a swig on his.

  “Pretty good. What is it? Cristal?”

  “Yeah, how’d you know?”

  “Trey bought me a bottle as a graduation present from high school last spring. I think I finished it on my own and had several chasers of whiskey afterwards. I ended up puking in the back of the clubhouse while Clooney was trying to cop a feel.” She rolled her eyes at the thought. “It was all so very romantic…not!”

  “Well, I certainly don’t want you puking. We haven’t eaten anything in ages and the booze is gonna go straight to your head.”

  “That’s the best part,” she whispered, as she stood and stepped toward him. “Didn’t you say something about peeling this dress off of me when we got back to our suite?”

  “Yeah, I did,” Linx murmured in a soft voice.

  “Good because I need you in the worst way and we’re married so your honor to me is legal…Now get to it! I’m waiting, big boy.”

  He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him. She was so soft and fragile. Why was he suddenly scared he would hurt her? She talked a good game but behind those eyes, there was so much pain.

  “Thank you.”

  Her lips, still painted red, parted as she asked, “For what?”

  Linx gave her a long stare, trying to show her with his eyes everything he felt before he spoke two words. “Saving me.”

  “From what or shall I say who?”

  “Myself,” he replied as he kissed her lips and she melted in his arms, a small moan grazing past those perfect lips.

  Chapter Seventeen

  THE TWO WORDS that Linx had uttered before he kissed me kept repeating itself like a broken record in my head.

  Didn’t he know he was the one who had saved me?

  I realized what we felt for each other was way past the lust stage; otherwise, we would have jumped each other’s bones within a week of meeting. He couldn’t casually sleep with me, but he hadn’t told me he loved me.

  I hadn’t said it either because that wasn’t me. I wasn’t sure if I was even capable of feeling love for another person after losing my family, but obviously I could feel something because the man who held me in his arms also owned my heart at that moment.

  It couldn’t have been possible, could it? I didn’t believe in insta-love and no way did two people fall in love within two months of knowing each other, right? It had been less than two months, but I didn’t just like him either.

  Linx didn’t act like the average rock star; he wasn’t some asshat douchebag who had to fuck the hottest woman on two legs. I’d never seen him look at another woman when we were together. Was he truly that into me?

  I hoped so—I was too close to the flame and I was burning. It hurt so much that my heart did flip flops in my chest along with my stomach. I didn’t want to feel anything for him; it was easier that way, because he was my ticket out of the life I hated. If I fell in love then he could hurt me. I’d sworn no one would ever hurt me again, not after what I’d been through.

  Clooney’s break up was a pin prick in comparison to my family’s demise. I couldn’t go through with that again. I refused to feel so much for someone that my heart could be crushed like that a second time. I had barely survived the first one and no way could I experience it again; I would self-destruct. I knew it. Trey knew it. Talia knew it too.

  It was a Lennon tradition after all.

  “Where are you, baby?” Linx wondered out loud. “You’re right in front of me, but a million miles away. You sure as fuck aren’t here in this room with me.”

  “Tell me you don’t love me,” I begged, as the tears began to flow down my cheeks. “Tell me you married me because you just wanted to get rid of that bitch ex-wife of yours. Tell me this is all a scam and you just wanted to fuck me. Please, convince me that none of this is real.”

  “What?” Linx backed away from me, his blue eyes blazing. “Why would I do this for any of those reasons? I do love you…I don’t know when it happened…maybe it was that first night when I held your hands while you were getting your first tattoo. I take marriage very fucking seriously. I wanted you to be mine and now you are. But I’m also yours too. It works both ways, Trista. Are you saying you feel nothing for me?”

  I collapsed on the floor, my tears falling staining the fabric of my dress. “I feel too much for you, Linx, and it’s killing me. I couldn’t take it if one day you decided to leave. Or what if you were murdered the way my parents were and…if it was my fault? Without you, I can’t breathe, I can’t function
. I just…I need you in my life. If this isn’t real then maybe I can put everything in perspective. I have to be separate from people to be able to live because no one is around forever…no one.”

  He walked over and sank to the floor in front of me, lifting my head, forcing me to face him. “I’m not going anywhere, babe. I will be here for you and I promise I won’t ever leave you and I will do my very best never to break your heart. You don’t have to worry about anyone hurting you by hurting me. I want you to be happy. I genuinely want to see a smile on your face and know that you are alive, that you aren’t doped up on Xanax and Macallan. That’s no way to live, baby. Your parents wouldn’t want that…Talia hates it…and I sure as hell don’t want it either.”

  I inhaled and exhaled through my mouth before reaching out for his hand. He took it, pulling me to him as he reached out for my body. I finally kissed him and meant it. In that moment, I felt the world around me turn from a dulled out black and white to Technicolor. When his tongue swirled around mine, I wrapped my arms around his neck and he picked me up off the floor as if I weighed nothing.

  We collapsed onto the bed. He did as he promised; he stripped my dress from my body. I wore the tiniest La Perla black thong and matching bra.

  Linx slid the thong off and spread my legs. I stopped him with a hand as I ripped his white silk shirt. Buttons popped as I exposed his chest and sat on my hunches to trace my hands along his roses tattoo. I surprised him with my sudden movements and laid him on the bed before I straddled him.

  He quickly sat up, and matched my movements, flipping us so he was above me. Our lips met briefly before his lips left a trail down my neck and he finally unhooked my bra to expose my breasts. His mouth tackled the left nipple, sucking hard as I fumbled to unzip his expensive pants and caressed his rock hard cock.

  It felt strange to actually have that thick, lengthy male piece of him within my grasp. How long had I waited for this moment to happen between us? Way too fucking long and I couldn’t wait to have every inch of him inside me, moving with me and making me truly belong to him.

  Linx kissed his way down my body before he spread my legs and his tongue flicked over my hardened clit. I gasped loudly as his hot mouth closed over the sensitive nub, suckling so hard that it was almost painful while he inserted his fingers inside me, moving them in and out. He’d found that spongy tissue I’d always heard about but had never experienced an orgasm from.

  His blue eyes never left mine as he continued to caress my G-spot and I was forced to close my eyes, the feeling was pleasure overload. I didn’t know if I was going to scream or cry as he continued to lick and tease my clit, his mouth determined, while his fingers working that spot over and over. Just as the pressure became almost too much, he stopped and rose up onto his knees. He unfastened his pants and I helped to push them off with my legs before I wrapped them around his waist.

  He guided his cock inside me and the first thrust from him brought tears to my eyes. I could feel my muscles stretching to accommodate both his length and girth as he stilled inside of me. We lay there like that, without words or a sound other than our breathing being exchanged between us.

  I didn’t exactly know how to react; I had never been with a man like this, bare-back without a condom, yet there were so many thoughts running through my head. The physical sensation was so powerful it was consuming every inch of my body causing my hips to rock on their own. He began making love to me, his thrusts smooth and gentle inside me, teasing my very core while I held on to his neck for dear life; I couldn’t describe how he made me feel.

  One word kept repeating in my head over and over again: complete.

  Linx flipped us over so that I was on top. I sat up, pushing my hands against his tattooed chest and as I began to buck my hips, he followed my lead, matching his rhythm to meet mine; we quickly found a perfect tandem with one another. He felt so delicious and as he reached between our bodies with his hand, stroking his thumb along my clit in time to our movements, I couldn’t hold back.

  I gave my all, everything I wouldn’t—couldn’t—say in words I told him with my body. I allowed him to own all of me with his body, and as an orgasm seized me, he grabbed a hold of my ass with both hands. He brought me down closer to him until I could feel my vaginal muscles squeezing, pulsating around his hardness and he groaned, his eyes rolling back into his head. I could feel him coming, his grip turning just this side of painful. His dick becoming an instrument of its own as he continued to pump inside me, emptying his load into my depths until there was nothing left but this, us, pressed against one another, panting together with harsh breaths. To be honest, I didn’t want him move, even when I felt him grow soft and he slipped out of me. I felt empty without him inside of me, even as he pulled me into an embrace and we lay back down on the bed.

  I tried to stay in the moment for as long as I could, but worries began to bombard me. I wasn’t on the pill and he hadn’t used anything, not even a spermicide lubricant. What if I became pregnant? I so wasn’t ready for babies. Yes, we were a married couple but I was still too young and I didn’t want to look after anyone but myself.

  Linx already had two kids and although I was a step-mother by proxy, Cassidy had full custody—he only had visitation every other weekend. He gave her enough money to employ a nanny full time and would probably do the same for us if it did happen, but that wasn’t the issue. I didn’t want to be a mother, not yet, not after losing my own so recently.

  “Babe, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” Linx inquired, his deep voice inches away from my ear.

  I placed my hands on his own where they held me by my waist and took a deep breath in slowly before I exhaled. “I’m not on anything—birth control, I mean. What happens if I get pregnant?”

  “Well, we are married so it would be a perfectly normal issue that might come up.”

  “Seriously, I was supposed to be at Stanford University studying Business. Is this a joke to you? I’m not exactly ready to be changing diapers yet.”

  “Honey, will you relax and live in the moment? Just trust me—it isn’t something you have to worry about. I promise you.”

  I slipped out of his embrace and went to the bathroom where I hoped to God most of his semen was coming out with the emptying of my bladder.

  How could he be so fucking blasé about this? I didn’t want a messed up kid with some awful issue that came along just because I couldn’t deal with my addiction to Xanax at the moment.

  I wiped myself, flushed the toilet and walked to the sink where I studied my reflection in the vanity mirror. Was I really strong enough to admit I had an addiction problem and needed help? I was up to four milligrams of Xanax per day and though my doctor assured me there was nothing wrong with my dosage or usage, I wasn’t taking them because of anxiety attacks anymore. I took them simply because they made me feel numb and I could walk through life not giving a shit and no one was affected.

  Not anymore. Now I had responsibilities, a husband—I couldn’t afford to be that selfish. What was I really going to do? I knew I couldn’t quit cold turkey. Like an idiot, about a month after I started living with Talia, in a rare moment of clarity, I flushed my supply down the toilet and experienced two of the most hellish days of my life.

  Sweating, anxiety attacks rolled over me in waves and I had a headache so bad, my brain felt like it’d been split open. Talia had a supply but she no longer took them since she was pregnant. Even then, her doctor had eased her off them slowly, taking her down to the lowest dosage and when she ran out, she’d felt all right.. She might have been woozy the first couple of days but it was nothing like my reaction.

  She’d made an emergency appointment for me to see her general practitioner and Dr. Berger had given me a six month supply of my usual two milligram tablets and sent me on my way.

  Thinking about the Xanax, I thought about the extra pill bottle I kept in my purse and walked back into the bedroom. Linx’s eyes were closed as I tip-toed to my purse. I reached in for
a two milligram tablet, snapped it in half, and downed the pill with what was left of the Cristal champagne.

  I slipped on my robe and sat in the living room, staring at my phone for a long time. There were missed calls and texts.

  It was inevitable. Those calls and text messages would have to be returned. I had to stop running and face up to my responsibilities, no matter how much the urge to hide from the world comforted me like a warm blanket. That wasn’t me and I would never allow myself to be that person again.

  It was late and I truly wondered if anyone would be up at this time of the night. Before I could actually dial a number, my phone lit up with “Diamonds” by Rihanna, Talia’s personalized ring tone, and I answered with a quick and soft, “Hello?”

  “Listen, I don’t want to get into this over the phone. Dominic just flew Sasha and I out to meet with you two tomorrow. We’re staying over at my girlfriend’s house in Summerlin, so I will text you directions. Be prepared to meet us at one o’clock. Is that clear?”

  “Of course. We’ll meet you there. How is Jerrica and the baby by the way?”

  “They’re both doing well. She gave birth almost three months ago. Jared was a few weeks premature but he’s strong and healthy now. So is she.” Talia paused before she continued, “Listen, neither one of you are in trouble if that’s what you’re thinking. You are both legal and free to make any decisions you want about your personal life. Sasha is here as PR for the group and she merely wants a statement from the two of you she can give to the press, that’s all.”

  I breathed a quiet sigh of relief. “I thought you were mad at me—”

  “—I am! I’m mad as hell that I didn’t get to see my cousin walk down the aisle and probably had to use two tired employees as witnesses to her freakin’ marriage.”