Reverse Cowgirl

by Chance Carter

  The play ended to thunderous applause, and within minutes her dressing room was filled with cast members handing her their costumes. She had to make sure everything was organized and ready for the next performance, and was too absorbed in her task to notice who was coming or going. The room eventually thinned out and she was left alone to sort through the piles of costumes on the floor. She didn’t notice when Devon came in and was surprised to find him crouched on the floor in front of her. She was certain that she must have looked a mess, but he didn’t seem to notice. He asked her if he could drive her home.

  From that moment on they were inseparable. It turned out that he had been waiting for just the right opportunity to make his move with her. He liked that she was smart, and so different from the other girls. She made him work to get her attention. Apparently he had been trying to catch her eye for weeks and she had been oblivious. That had always been the way with her, and continued to be a theme in her life.

  It had been relatively easy to spend time together while school was in session. Nora just told her parents she was busy with the play and other school activities. It never dawned on them to question her because she never gave them any reason to doubt that she was telling the truth. Her sister knew what was going on, and was a good ally, often covering for her. Unfortunately, once school let out for the summer, it became more challenging to spend time with Devon. She hated lying to them, but they never would have understood. She did her best to cover up their relationship, but it soon became obvious to her parents that there was something going on.

  Initially, her father put his foot down, and they fought and fought. He was determined that his daughters wouldn’t date until they were finished with high school. Nora was not deterred. She just became a more creative liar, and they continued to sneak around. As the summer went on they fell more and more in love.

  That was the summer she lost her virginity.

  Devon had planned the whole thing out, and while she couldn’t describe the event as romantic, it was certainly a good effort for an inexperienced young man. She knew that they had been building up to it. Months of heavy foreplay had made them both hot and bothered, but being the good Catholic girl, Nora had reservations about going all the way. With the summer coming to a close and her senior year just around the corner, she knew the time had come. He wanted to be with her badly and told her so almost every day. She loved him and knew that he was committed to her, so she finally agreed.

  He rented a campsite for the weekend, just outside of town, and pitched a tent he borrowed from his friend. He told his parents he was on a summers-end camping trip with his buddies, and she told her parents she was staying overnight at a friend’s house. Devon took care of everything. He cooked them a dinner of hotdogs and beans over the campfire, and opened a bottle of homemade wine he stole from his parent’s wine cellar. After they had cleaned the dishes, he invited her to join him in the tent. He had two sleeping bags zipped together and had covered them with rose petals. It was a sweet gesture that touched Nora’s heart.

  His desperate touch made her forget her nervousness, and he could heat her up quickly, mainly because she was so into him. His breath on her neck, those deep, wet kisses that went on for forever, his hands exploring every curve of her body. By the time he was ready to fuck her, she was soaking wet. He had been so hard and anxious that she barely got her panties off before he climbed on top of her and slipped his cock inside. She had anticipated it would hurt, and in some ways it had, but it also satisfied a deep, primal yearning. The pain was like a rite of passage she needed to experience in order to pass through the gate from childhood to adulthood. Her innocence slipped away as the pain prepared her for life as a woman, teaching her to expect a little pain with the pleasure, a little shame with the desire to explore her sexuality, and that it’s the woman that carries the burdens of intimacy.

  Devon had been gentle and caring with her and when they made love the next morning, it wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable. She actually enjoyed feeling him so close to her, his hardness deep inside her, their souls entwined together. She loved watching him cum as he pumped his cock into her, his body stiffening, his eyes riveted to hers. She felt, in that moment, like he was possessing her and claiming her as his own. Yes, these were the thoughts of a naive young girl, but she wanted to be his forever. It didn’t matter that he didn’t make her orgasm, the truth was that she had been too insecure to let herself climax anyway, even if he had tried.

  Their senior year was not without challenges. Nora had always been a dedicated student, and her high marks typically came easily. However, because her relationship with Devon was so time consuming, she let her grades slip. Her parents were not happy with her, especially during such a vital year. Understandably, they were concerned for her and constantly pressured her to stay focused. They knocked heads on many occasions, but their interference only made Nora dig her heels in further. She was tired of them trying to run her life. Devon was her soul mate and her parents were trying to keep them apart. Nora worried constantly that he would grow tired of the drama they caused and leave her for someone that was a lot less trouble.

  Looking back on the situation, she came to realize that it was the combination of the irrational insecurities of a teenage girl, her need to break away from her parents suffocating control, and a deep desire for independence that had created the perfect storm leading to the poor judgement and blunders that followed.

  According to her parents, she had done so poorly in that first term that they forbid her to see Devon anymore. In reality, her grades hadn’t slipped that much, but they had high standards and expected their daughters to achieve nothing below the eighties. So they watched her like a hawk, holding her accountable for every moment of her time. She was only permitted to leave home for school and her part-time job, and her father insisted on picking her up after work and bringing her straight home. On the nights when they allowed her to go out, they were adamant she be home by ten. This was all for her own good, they said, justifying their rules. They said they wanted her to focus on school, earning scholarships, and being able to choose any university she wanted.

  In retrospect, this was all very reasonable on their part, and looking back, Nora could understand their concern. She was being irrational, distracted by her libido and her obsession to be with Devon all the time. She was young and in love, and very foolish. She hated being smothered, and at the time felt really disrespected. She had always been smart, hard-working, and considerate, and she resented that her parents didn’t trust her. She felt that they were forcing her to choose between them and the love of her life, and no surprise, she chose Devon.

  Only one month after they graduated, they ran off to get married. Her sister Dana was the only person who knew of her plans, and she did her best to try to talk Nora out of it. Nora respected her sister, but the truth was, she couldn’t see any other way to resolve the situation. She and Devon loved each other and like most kids their age, thought they had all the answers. They were eighteen and didn’t need parental consent. They applied for a marriage license and three days later went to the city hall of the next town over to tie the knot. They were blissfully happy and fully expected their parents to disown them, but they didn’t care. They would figure it out and prove everyone wrong.

  Their parents didn’t disown them. Of course, they weren’t happy, but they eventually accepted the situation and even helped them to set up their first apartment. Nora was determined to show her parents that she could still achieve her goals and be a great wife to Devon. She had been accepted to several prestigious schools but registered at the local university, so she didn’t disrupt their lives. Devon got a job working for an auto parts manufacturer and made enough money to support them both. Because Nora got a full scholarship, the plan was for her to go to school first and get her degree, and then Devon would pursue his education afterward.

  That first year things were good. They were just two naive kids playing house. Nora did her best to m
aintain her grades, all the while trying to be the perfect wife. She kept a tidy house and groceries in the fridge. Devon paid the bills and they had sex almost every night, and for a while that was enough for her. They were honeymooners, still high from the newness of it all, driven by their desire for each other.

  Of course, as time went on, reality set in. The monotony of day to day life gradually took its toll. It stopped being fun and the excitement of married life faded. Nora’s life was all about school and in spite of her best efforts, she and Devon started drifting apart. The deeper she immersed herself in her education, the less she had in common with her husband. Devon became restless, and perhaps even resentful.

  The worst part of it all was that they couldn’t communicate with each other. Their relationship seemed unable to evolve, like they hit a certain point, and then just locked it in. They had the same problem with their sex life too, neither of them confident enough to ask for what they truly wanted, and too afraid to share their fantasies or explore their desires. Nora desperately wanted to experience the same kind of pleasure Devon did during sex, but she was always worried about hurting his feelings or alienating him if she told him she needed more.

  Although they were growing up, their relationship was standing still. There was no blame to be placed, it wasn’t his fault, nor was it hers. It was a problem they shared, but not one they could address together.

  Although Devon was never cruel to her, he was often unhappy. They were on such different pages for the most part. Nora knew that they loved each other, but they had no idea how to address or repair the strain in their marriage. Things finally came to a head just before her third year at the university, they were both just twenty one, still kids really. Devon approached her one day and told her he was moving out to California to pursue an acting career. She was welcome to either come or stay behind, but either way he was going. He told her that he felt like his own opportunities were slipping away and that he couldn’t continue to work in a factory anymore. He was losing himself to a life he didn’t want. Nora empathized with him completely. He had done so much for them since they got married, the least she could do was support him.

  So they moved out to California and Nora transferred from the University of Michigan to UCLA. It wasn’t easy leaving her family behind, especially her sister, but UCLA was a great school and had an excellent grad program in Psychology, so the transition would be simple. They could pick up and carry on with their lives, easy-peasy, she thought.

  They moved to a very run-down apartment near campus, but still close enough for Devon to get where he needed to be. He took a temporary job as a waiter, just to pay the bills, but he also pounded the pavement, endlessly looking for acting opportunities. They barely saw one another and it didn’t take long for them to chip away at their savings. The pressure took its toll on them both, and after only six months in California, they decided to split up. Nora suspected Devon of cheating on her but she never confronted him. There were two possible reasons for that.First, she didn’t have the courage to tell him what she saw that day in front of his restaurant, only a few months after they had arrived in LA. The second reason? She had fallen out of love with him.

  So they parted amicably enough, and although they both had regrets, they were also somewhat relieved. They would never have admitted it at the time, but the truth was, they had been too young to get married and they had simply grown apart. Nora came to realize years later that while Devon was a perfect first love, he was never meant to be her last love. They just didn’t have enough in common to sustain an adult relationship. They would have held each other back, no question about it.

  After their split, Nora found a place to live near UCLA and spent the next six years with her head deep in her text books. Her parents agreed to help her out financially, and she was determined to make them proud of her after the pain she caused them. She practically doubled the work load of most post-grads and achieved her Doctorate in record time. People gave her tons of praise and accolades, but the truth was, education was her life. Giving up a social life was penance for her, atoning for the mistakes she had made in the past.

  But that was then, this was now. With all of that behind her, she was finally ready to step out of her comfort zone, and Leo seemed like the perfect guy to have some fun with.

  Nora’s phone chirped, still inside her purse. She retrieved it quickly, assuming it was her sister checking in.

  There were two texts from Leo.

  You are probably getting ready for bed with no one to tuck you in. Can’t say I didn’t offer ;)

  I keep thinking about you. Let me take you out again?

  Nora was grateful that he had reached out so quickly, proof that he’d had a good time too, in spite of the fact that she didn’t go back to his place. She had second guessed her decision all the way home, but something told her that she needed to do something different, something to stand out. It was clear that he was used to women falling at his feet and Nora didn’t want to be just another notch on his headboard. She wanted to get to know him, and for him to know her. Despite the fact that she had been aroused as hell at dinner, she wanted more time to build intimacy with him. That was just her way.

  Besides, it wouldn’t hurt him to court her a little. She was worth the effort, wasn’t she?

  She sat on her bed with her legs crossed, and quickly replied, feeling much more at ease with him.

  I could be persuaded. Take me out where?

  She grinned when she read his response.

  Dancing. I haven’t been in a while but it could be fun. Thursday night, if you don’t mind stepping out on a school night?

  It had been many years since Nora had been out dancing. She had taken lessons off and on, mostly in the off season when she wasn’t playing hockey. Her sister Dana was the dancer in the family, and had pursued it passionately. Nora had nowhere near her talent, and was far more comfortable in a pair of skates, but she wasn’t terrible on the dance floor either. It could be fun, she thought, and told him so.

  Fun! Where should I meet you?

  Leo answered promptly.

  I’ll pick you up at your place… at 8. Sleep tight. xo

  Nora put her phone down on the bedside table and set her glasses beside it. She inhaled deeply, just taking in the moment. This was really happening, ready or not.

  CHAPTER 6

  NORA

  Dana sat across the desk from Nora, containers of take out between them. They tried to have lunch together once or twice a week, but it was proving more challenging as Nora’s practice grew. It was now only possible if Dana showed up at her office with food.

  “So the firefighter... a good date?” Dana pried gently, catching Nora’s eye.

  They were still more like best friends than sisters, so Dana’s curiosity wasn’t unexpected.

  Nora grinned and took a bite of her Pad Thai, slurping the noodles loudly, taking her time and teasing her sister.

  “Come on, stop stalling and spill. I want all the juicy details,” Dana demanded, clapping her hands together.

  Nora deliberately chewed her food slowly, watching in amusement, until Dana tossed a chopstick at her, missing Nora by inches.

  “Come on, Bitch, I am wearing white,” Nora sneered good-naturedly, only partially annoyed. Had it actually hit her, it would have been all out war.

  “Poor baby, now tell me about your damn date, and don’t leave anything out. I mean it,” Dana insisted, rolling her eyes for good measure.

  “It was good, really good actually,” Nora shrugged, unaccustomed to talking to her sister about men.

  Usually it was the other way around. In fact, up until Dana got married last year, her stories had been spicy. Very spicy.

  Dana rarely kept anything to herself, discretion was not her strong suit. People had always assumed that as twins they should be similar, but they were polar opposites. Dana was a free spirit and always had been. She didn’t go to college, she followed her heart instead and pursued dance
training. Her parents tried to encourage her to get an education too, but Dana had other ideas. As soon as she found out that Nora and Devon had split up, she moved out to California so they could room together. Within a few months, she was hired as a back-up dancer on a very popular television show and her career catapulted. She was the yin to Nora’s yang, but that was a good thing. Dana encouraged Nora to cut loose, while Nora kept her sister grounded. It all worked out.

  “Good. What’s he like? Is he hot?” Dana continued, plugging her for more information.

  Nora knew she wouldn’t get away with vague answers when it came to her sister. She might as well lay it all out on the table or she would never get any peace, she thought, mildly amused.

  “He’s good looking, Italian through and through. Very passionate, confident and talkative. I enjoyed him,” Nora explained quietly, a smile playing on her lips as the memory of their date floated through her mind.

  “What does he look like? Is he on Facebook?” Dana asked, reaching for her phone.

  “I don’t know, Dana, you know I don’t do Facebook,” Nora shrugged, taking another bite of noodles.

  “Leo... M-o-r-e-t-t-i,” Dana said out loud, typing his name into her browser. “Yup, here he is. He has a lot of friends. Whoa... he is hot. He looks like Jake Gyllenhaal, only buff. I like the beard.”

  “Let me see,” Nora urged, holding her hand out. Dana held up the phone so her twin could see his picture, but refused to hand it over.

  “Yeah, I guess he does a little, but he doesn’t have that beard anymore,” Nora agreed, smiling at his picture.

  “So did you guys flirt? Were there sparks?” Dana prodded, flipping through his images. “You could say that, yes,” Nora answered, now curious about the other pictures.

  “Did you want to fuck him?” Dana blurted casually. “Did you fuck him?”

  Dana looked up from her cell to see her sister shaking her head with an incredulous look on her face.

  “What?” she said impishly, knowing she had pushed Nora’s buttons.