Shit. “Any idea why?”
Levi looked down then, shoving at the rocks with the toe of his boot. “Strong emotions make it happen.”
That pretty much confirmed what he’d thought about Jackson. “About what?” He’d been trying to get a rise out of Levi for months, since Brooke came along, with little success. What could affect him so much now? The way Levi had said it, made it sound like it had been happening before today.
Smoldering eyes lifted to his. “Your ass not being here, for one. As for the rest…” His eyes flared with that sulfur orange. “I didn’t get in your business, so don’t get in mine, unless you want to piss me off bad enough that I torch your ass.”
He turned away, and Ajax didn’t really want to get torched today, so he let it go. He needed to call Walker anyway.
What was that saying, from the frying pan into the fire?
Only in his case, he was going from the fire to the flood.
He dialed Walker, holding his breath. Walker’s voice was already curt when he answered. Ajax cut to the chase and told him about the running Chaolt who somehow disappeared. The whole time, in the back of his head, he was wondering how and why his lie had turned out to be true.
They weren’t supposed to be here.
“No, Walker, there’s nothing here,” Ajax told him. “No reason that Levi or I could find for them to be here. No reason for them to just disappear like that.”
It had to somehow be related to Jackson, right? The Chaolt were too close, it was too coincidental. But he couldn’t say anything. Not without blowing a hole right through his secret.
“Well, shit,” Walker said.
Yeah, that about summed it up.
Walker was going to keep the plan the same, the rotations the same. But they would be different if Walker had all the information he had. Dread iced Ajax’s skin, and not just because of what he was about to tell him.
“Was there any kind of warning, any signs before Levi showed up?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
Ajax took a deep breath. “I wasn’t here. I showed up just as Levi began pursuit.”
The momentary silence washed over him like a physical, choking thing, even through the phone.
“What do you mean, you weren’t there?” Walker’s voice was calm, but Ajax knew better.
He pushed his hand through his hair, gripped it tightly. He didn’t know what to say.
“There’s a woman I met at the bar recently, she lives near here—”
“Are you serious? You missed your shift for a piece of ass?” The true strength of Walker’s anger only came out on the last word.
Ajax stayed silent, but the gears started spinning. Walker assumed he wasn’t here because he was visiting one of his many flings and getting some tail. That was bad. Embarrassing, even. And it would put him in some deep shit.
But it was still better, safer, than the truth.
“Yes,” he ground out.
“Do you think I have time to deal with this? We’re fighting a war, Ajax. I hope she was worth it, because you get one warning, and this is it. This. Is. It. We clear?”
“We’re clear. Sir.” Clear that if he wasn’t careful, he’d end up off rotation and possibly sent back to Elementium, secret baby or not.
The line went dead without any kind of sign off from Walker, and Ajax tossed his phone on the seat next to him. He wanted to ask Walker if he’d ever experienced disappearing Chaolt in his long career before, but he wasn’t about to call him back. If Walker needed him, he’d let him know.
Ajax started his truck and drove back towards Emory’s house, a list forming in his head of things he needed to do.
He wasn’t a father, he wasn’t a boyfriend, he was a Warrior. This was his job. And it was damn time he started doing it.
He was supposed to protect humans, protect Erratics, from the Chaolt. Out of all of them, he had to protect these two.
As strong as his desire for Emory was, now there were new urges, just as strong. The urge to protect her, to make up for not believing her at first. The urge to protect the tiny baby with his eyes and powers. What kind of Warrior would he be if he didn’t do that?
But he couldn’t do that if he was exiled far away from Earth and Emory.
He get to every his shift change now to keep any scrutiny off of him. And quit putting off asking Walker if Jackson could be drained.
Shame, guilt, and wonder washed through him in alternating beats.
I hope she was worth it, Ajax.
He took a deep breath, his heart hammering. Because he was starting to suspect she was.
“Everything okay?” Emory met Ajax at the door as he stepped through, pushing a hand through his hair. He looked at her, lips pressed together tightly.
“Ajax?” she asked, fidgeting.
“There were Chaolt at the patrol point. About three miles north.”
Emory took a deep breath, heart pounding. The Chaolt threat was always in the back of her mind, but everything had been peaceful and calm and she’d been distracted by having Ajax in their lives, in their home.
“It’s okay, they’re gone. You and Jackson aren’t in any immediate danger, but I can’t put off asking my commander about draining Jackson any longer.”
“You haven’t asked yet?”
“No.” Ajax paced away, hands on his hips. “This situation, it’s unique. It’s delicate. It’s a necessity that I keep Jackson’s birth a secret, for reasons you may not entirely understand.”
“That would be bad? If the others knew about us?”
“Bad is a bit of an understatement.” He turned back to her, hands spread like an apology. “Jackson shouldn’t exist, Emory. He shouldn’t have happened, it shouldn’t have been possible for me to conceive a child. As a Warrior, I’m supposed to be sterile. They only let sterile Elementals come to this world now just because making more Erratics that we have to protect from the Chaolt works directly against our goals here. It is completely forbidden to breed with humans. There would be consequences if my commander found out, if those that sent his orders found out.”
So that was why he hadn’t asked yet. “What kind of consequences?”
Ajax walked closer and began rubbing her upper arms softly, soothingly, stroking the skin there with his fingertips. “Nothing for you to worry about, okay? I’ll handle it if it comes to that.”
Little bumps raised on her skin at his touch, and he kept it up until a shiver went through her.
“So when are you going to ask him about draining Jackson?”
“I can’t seek him out to ask about it without raising his suspicions.” He leaned down to make her look into his eyes. “But I swear to you, the next time I talk to him, I will ask him.”
Emory hated that he had already waited so long, but she had to trust him if he said it would be bad if the others found out about Jackson. This didn’t need to be any harder.
“Okay. So what did you tell your commander about where you were instead?”
Ajax crossed his arms and met her gaze head on. “He knows I was with someone. But he thinks I was just here for…”
Her cheeks heated. “Sex?”
“Yeah. Sex.”
Emory took a step back, her cheeks heating more. “Oh.”
“I let him believe it so he wouldn’t find out about you two.”
Ajax’s commander thought nothing of him being at some woman’s house for sex. How many times had he done it before? Emory strangled a dish towel in her hands, trying to focus on the more important issues than her pride or Ajax’s sexual history.
But god, she was so good at blocking out her first impression of him; the playboy womanizer who was too cocky for his own good. When he was with her, he made her forget by making her feel like the only woman in the world. But did that really make her special? Maybe he made every woman he was with feel that way.
“I’m not just here for sex, Emory.” His pointed stare said her thoughts h
ad been all over her face. “We’re not having any, remember? Although I’d be willing to change that at any time.”
Emory took a deep breath, ignoring his quip and his smirk. “No, it’s responsibility. I know that.”
His brow wrinkled, and he caught her arm as she turned away.
“It’s not just responsibility, either.”
She turned back to him, biting her lip to keep from asking.
“It’s more than that.”
She waited, breath held, heart in her throat, to hear what else was keeping him here. He let go of her arm, put his hands in his pockets.
And stood there wordless, looking gorgeous and clueless.
But why shouldn’t he? She’d told him she only wanted him to focus on Jackson. She’d just been hoping that there was something more. Something more than sex, or responsibility, or Jackson… She’d hoped that part of the reason he was staying was her. But if that was true, he hadn’t said it.
And because he hadn’t, because he wasn’t now, she couldn’t tell him how she was feeling.
That even with the danger of the Chaolt and Jackson’s crazy powers, she wouldn’t take that night back. That if he drained Jackson and left, she would cry over him again. That she still had a dream in her heart of them being a family, somehow, some way.
She was looking at his shoes as he stepped closer.
“There’s more to it. And I don’t know what it is or how to label it, but there is more than responsibility.”
She met his eyes and nodded. It wasn’t quite what she wanted to hear, but it was enough for now.
CHAPTER TEN
Ajax eyed Emory as she played with Jackson on the blanket on the floor.
There had been no sign of the Chaolt since they’d disappeared up the mountain, which left the two—three—of them lots of time. Emory had helped him move her desk out of her office and given the room to him. Now he had a place for his clothes, and a place to practice with his blades. He was barely spending any time at all at the base lately, and he was doing awesome at keeping his hands off Emory. His thoughts were another matter entirely, but she couldn’t see those, thankfully. She’d been relaxing around him, getting more comfortable. Giving him casual little touches that made his blood sing. The only thing that stopped him from trying to turn those touches into more was that every time he resisted, she got closer. The less pressure he put on her, the more she wanted to be near him.
There was just one problem. Emory was unhappy. Not that she’d been super happy before, with the Chaolt and everything, but it seemed to be getting worse, not better. Her mouth bowed down every time she looked out the barricaded window.
Not one to pussyfoot around, he came up behind her.
“What’s wrong?”
Her laugh was more like a scoff. “You mean besides the fact that Chaolt are after my baby and we’re under house arrest?”
Her green eyes flashed to his, and the tiniest hint of a real smile teased the corner of her mouth. “Our baby.”
But then she sighed, eyes going to the boarded window again.
He stepped around in front of her, blocking her view of it, forcing her to look at him instead. But she looked away.
“I don’t regret having Jackson with you, I just… I regret that his life is going to be like this. All I want to do is give him a happy, normal life, you know?” Now her eyes met his, a deep wrinkle on her brow. “I want to do normal things. I want to take my son on walks, take him to the park, the zoo. Is that even possible anymore? Is it even possible for us to be happy?”
Ajax stepped closer to Emory, the pain in her eyes tugging at him. He wanted to take away her sadness and fix everything, but he couldn’t. Jackson would never have a normal life the way she defined it.
He had no experience caring for other’s happiness more than his own. It was a new feeling, a twist under his ribcage. But if doing normal things would make her feel better now, he could help with that.
“You want to take Jackson to the park?” He reached out and fingered a strand of red hair laying on her shoulder, feeling it slip and slide between his fingers. She was wearing her hair down today, and he’d been dying to push his fingers into it, fill his hands with it while he held her mouth still for him to kiss.
He still wanted to, but damn, now he wanted to take her and Jackson to the park more. What the hell was happening to him?
“Yes.” Her eyes were deep, dark. Sad. “I don’t want us to be stuck in the house all the time—”
Ajax gestured with his head. “Then let’s go.”
“Is that a good idea? What about his powers? What about the Chaolt?”
It was the best idea, and he was kicking himself for not thinking about it before.
“If he throws a tantrum, no one will think twice about a strong gust of wind at the park. And if the Chaolt are watching Jackson, they’ll be watching your house, not another location.”
The Chaolt would eventually find them wherever they went if they were there long enough, so he couldn’t whisk them away to a hotel to stay. Out here on the edge of town was better than the population center if he would have to fight any Chaolt. But for an afternoon, for some peace, for some of that normalcy Emory craved for their son…he could take them to the park.
“Really?” The word ended on a smile. The green had come back into her eyes along with the hope.
You candy-ass old softie—
“Yeah.” He couldn’t have said no even if he wanted to.
In silence, they walked along the paths of the park. Candy-ass or not, this had been a good idea. Emory was more relaxed here, her smile easier, her shoulders less tense. The air was cool in the shade, warm in the sunshine. Other than a jogger and a dog-walker, they had the whole park to themselves, and Ajax found his shoulders relaxing too.
There was no sign of the Chaolt, none of the infernal buzzing. All his senses were quiet, and quickly turned to focus on her. The way she smelled, the smile in her voice when she talked to Jackson. The rub of her shoulder against his as they walked close together under the blooming spring trees.
All the threats, all the other people, the rest of the world, melted away in the sunshine. It was just her and him, walking side by side, with their son. He swallowed hard, his breaths coming shallow, a feeling blooming in his chest as he looked at Jackson and Emory.
For some reason, at that moment, he thought of Levi and Brooke. How he’d been jealous, their happiness grating on him because he wanted his share. All the women, all the one-night stands. He’d thought he was just entertaining himself, but he’d really been searching for this.
Searching for Emory.
Maybe they couldn’t have it all. He’d never be able to tell his fellow soldiers about them. Eventually, he would have to move on from guarding her house all the time to other assignments. He’d have to do the best he could to assure their safety, maybe even move them to another location. He’d always be trying to balance his duties with being with them. But it wasn’t impossible, right?
This was his second chance with Emory. Maybe he should take it, despite all the difficulties. He knew what she needed from him now, what was missing. She needed to know his attention wouldn’t wander from her to someone else.
And considering he’d tried to keep his attention off of her, tried to forget all about her ever since their night together, and couldn’t do it, he was pretty sure he could give her that.
A few sparse petals floated down, and Emory watched them glide on the breeze as if they were the first snowflakes of winter. She turned her face up to the petals and closed her eyes, a gentle smile on lips the same pale pink as the petals.
When she opened her eyes, she caught him staring. She smiled, blushing, and looked away.
That was the happiest he’d seen her face since… well, since the night they met.
“This all has taken a toll on you, hasn’t it?” he murmured.
She glanced at him, her smile dissolving, and shrugged. “It’s always hard to b
e a single parent. It’s also hard to have a…special child,” she added, glancing around, “But, yeah. It’s been hard to handle both at times.” Her shoulders rose and fell with the depth of her sigh.
He could only imagine what it had been like for her, though he’d had a little taste with Jackson earlier. On top of the hardship of caring for and providing for a child by herself, her child was a powerful Erratic in a tiny body, with out-of-control emotions and powers. And she was constantly worried about being the kind of careless parent hers had been.
A spike of anger sent his power prickling down his spine, and the wind picked up, blowing petals sideways. He took a deep breath, calming both.
It was why she resisted him now that Jackson was in the picture. She was afraid of being like her parents. Making her son feel like she had felt. Not that she ever could, she cared too much, but…
It was a wonder she wasn’t crushed under the weight of it all. He’d meant what he’d said. He was glad it was her and not any other woman that had had his child.
“I want you to know, I admire you.” And damn it, he did. “You’ve handled everything so well. I’m impressed.”
“Thank you.” Her cheeks pinked again, but her smile only fluttered across her face before fading. He wanted to see her smile again. She deserved to smile again.
“So, tell me more about you,” Emory said into the silence. “I realized that I’ve been so focused on this thing with Jackson that I don’t really know a lot about you or the other Warriors. Are you guys all friends?”
Ajax glanced askance at her, raising his brows. “No.”
“No?” She raised an eyebrow at him. “Why? You guys have a shared mission, a shared origin. I would think that would create a bond in an unfamiliar world.”
“You would think,” he said dryly. Ajax shrugged. “Actually, I’m actually kind of an asshole.” He smiled at her surprised laugh, her incredulous expression. “It’s true. I like to needle people, the others, to cause a reaction. To be able to see that I have an effect on the world.” He shrugged. “And if I’m honest, because it’s entertaining.” Which was really more of the truth.
Rise (Elemental Hearts Book 2) Page 10
