Finally, Jackson’s diaper was changed, the tiny impossible snaps on his shirt buttoned. Jackson smiled at him, kicking. Always kicking.
He picked him up with his hands around his ribs and let him stand on the blanket. Let him wobble on the blanket, his hands supporting Jackson as he kicked one leg.
“Ouch.” Jackson had one fist in his mouth, the other tangled in Ajax’s hair. Every time he got near the kid, he was pulling on it.
He let go with one hand and tried to untangle his hair from Jackson’s fist, but he instantly began tipping over, pulling the hair harder.
Ajax caught him and stood him up, and just resolved to tolerate it until Emory got back. It couldn’t be long now, right?
He groaned, realizing it had been less than ten minutes, and Jackson smiled around his wet fist with a gurgle.
It was…cute. There was something about these young humans. The extra fat that made them soft and round everywhere, the tenacious curiosity in their gaze. The solid, warm weight between his hands and the powdery sweet scent that he couldn’t smell before.
He still wasn’t sure it was worth all the fluids— he wiped off the hand that strings of saliva had dripped on— but he could see the attraction.
There was something about the combination of his eyes and Emory’s hair, the toothless smile, the tiny fingers and toes that seemed to warm the core of him.
He did this. He and Emory made this child, their son. His son.
It wasn’t an altogether bad feeling. It was nice, even. One might feel pride caring for a helpless young, and raising them to be strong and smart and self-sufficient.
Except… shit. That couldn’t be him. Who knew what would happen with draining Jackson, with the war, with his duties. Being a father to Jackson felt so removed from the rest of that.
He held Jackson a little tighter while he blubbered against his shoulder. What would it be like, to raise Jackson? To help him learn to control his powers as he grew, to help him navigate both of the worlds he belonged to? He wanted to be there for his son, with his son, as much as he wanted to be with Emory.
The water shut off in the bathroom, Emory’s humming audible as she got out of the shower.
Jackson wobbled back and forth between his hands, a big wad of hair in his mouth. No pants. Bodysuit buttoned crooked. A pile of shitty wipes on the floor.
Here Ajax was being exactly what he said he wasn’t; domestic. And fucking it all up.
Shit.
Swiftly he stood and put Jackson back in his pen so he could take care of the trash.
He’d just walked back and grabbed the messy, stinky pile, when Jackson started crying in earnest again.
He’d rolled back on his back, legs kicking furiously. And he still didn’t have pants. But Ajax had to throw away the trash before he could put Jackson’s pants on. And he had to get him to stop crying now before Emory came out and saw how inept he was.
Mess in one hand, he tried to get Jackson back to his stomach.
Ajax heard the bathroom door open behind him, and clenched his eyes shut.
Mother. Fucker.
Emory opened the door with a big sigh, the steam funneling out around her. She felt like a new woman. She’d hurried as best she should, but couldn’t help a few extra minutes of just zoning out under the spray, enjoying the heat and silence and peace.
But now Jackson was crying. She squeezed her hair in the towel as she went to him. “Everything okay?”
Ajax turned around with a look she’d never seen on his face before.
Deer, meet headlights.
“He’s mad because he doesn’t want to be on his back. But he…” He held up the huge pile of soiled wipes in his hand. “I was going to throw these away.” He started walking towards the kitchen, but stalled after a step and reached down, picking up Jackson’s pair of mini-blue jeans.
“I didn’t get his pants back on yet. Sorry.”
“That’s okay,” she said, repressing a smile as she walked to Jackson and picked him up.
“Shhh, shh, it’s okay. Mommy’s here now.” He calmed right away.
She looked back to Ajax, baby pants in one hand, soiled baby wipes and diaper in the other, standing frozen in the middle of her living room.
“I’ll take those.” She held her hand out for the pants, and slipped them on Jackson one-handed.
She bounced Jackson, much more relaxed after her wonderful solitary shower.
“I’m sorry, Emory…”
“Sorry?” She looked up at Ajax. “For what?”
He turned away and scrubbed a hand over his scalp.
“For the mess. The pants. Jackson crying—”
Her laughter interrupted him. “Oh, Ajax,” she chuckled. “You did fine.”
His eyebrows crashed down. “It was a disaster.”
She bit her lip to hold back the smile that tingled in her cheeks. “Jackson is fine. He is clean and cared for. Some days, that’s really all you can ask for. No one just automatically knows what to do at first, you know.”
Cheeks puffing out with a long breath, he said, “You make it look easy.”
“I’ve also had four months of constant practice to get that way. You’ll get better,” she said, patting his shoulder. Wondering if he would be here that long. Wondering if he even wanted to get better at caring for Jackson, or if this would scare him off.
With a silent sigh, she gave up on the thought of any more showers alone. Except now, if she wanted one, she could have one after Jackson went to bed.
The realization dissolved any disappointment she’d felt. No more bar. No more waiting for Ajax every night. Her evenings were wide open.
Ajax was right here.
She walked up into his space and looked into his eyes, palm on his chest.
“Thank you for watching Jackson for me so I could take a shower. I haven’t been able to have a relaxing one since…” She mentally counted. “Well, in four months at least. So, thank you.” Her appreciation was sincere. Just being able to close her eyes under the spray for five minutes made it her best shower since Jackson was born.
His shoulders relaxed a touch.
“You must have had a good mother to learn from.”
She snatched her hand back from his chest, and then tried to play it off by going back to Jackson and sitting beside him on the floor, playing with him. She wanted to yell Hell no! but managed a sedate, “Not exactly. My parents were most useful for showing me what not to do, really.” Her lips twitched. It was supposed to be a smile, but the old anger twisted it.
“What do you mean?”
She was just going to brush it off, let it go, but he surprised her by walking over to them, sitting down on the carpet across from her. His gaze was steady, his face interested, focused on her. She found herself continuing even though she’d meant to drop it.
“Let’s just say, my parents never wanted to be saddled with children.”
And that’s just how she’d felt, like a burden, a bother. Left to her own devices most of the time. An afterthought, even if she was right there in front of them. Forgotten completely sometimes, like when her father forgot to pick her up after school. For three hours. The sun had been setting before her parents thought to wonder why she wasn’t there. She’d been nine years old.
“My parents, neither one of them, really paid much attention to me. My dad was usually busy traveling with his business. Occasionally he sent birthday cards and stuff from abroad, but I didn’t really get to spend much time with him. He wasn’t really interested in parenting I guess, and neither was my mother. She… My mother just distracted herself with boyfriend after boyfriend while he was gone. Even T.V. boyfriends.”
She looked away from his eyes then, down to Jackson. Ajax’s big black boots were a strange contrast next to the pastel baby blanket Jackson was playing on.
“T.V. boyfriends?”
She turned to him. “Ever seen Friends?”
He shook his head. She wasn’t surprised. He’d tol
d her that he and the other Warriors watched television to learn how to speak and act naturally, but he probably wouldn’t waste his time on something like that.
“It’s just a stupid sitcom. A lot of people loved it. My mother was one of them, but it’s pretty much been ruined for me. She had a thing for the character, Joey.”
Ajax was quiet, steady. That drew out her words more than any question he could have asked.
“I was bullied a lot as a kid.”
She peeked up at him and gave a short laugh. It was completely flattering, how shocked he looked.
“Red hair, pale skin,” she said, gesturing to them. “Just add on glasses and braces, and yeah,” she said, nodding, “I was an easy target.”
For years, and even more so, after it seemed like her parents didn’t care.
“I came home from school after a particularly bad day. I’d been ganged up on by the bullies at recess, in front of all the other kids.” Her face heated with the memory. She’d been frozen with shock, laying there in the dirt after they pushed her down for way too long before getting up and running away from the laughter.
“I was horribly embarrassed, crying, had scraped hands… My mother was watching Friends like she did pretty much every day, and I was trying to tell her about what had happened to me. She just pretended to listen. She sat there laughing at the show, laughing at some comment that Joey had made. Like he was more important.”
She looked down blindly and shrugged, her shoulders curling in. “He was. And so was every other man in her life.” She couldn’t even really remember any other specific instances, just a constant feeling of being put aside, of not being heard. Of not being seen by either parent. “My parents got divorced and my dad moved out the country, and last I heard my mom was on her fourth or fifth husband.”
“That was painful. I’m sorry.”
She looked up to see his eyes soft, but direct. He could see into her, see where it still stung. But he didn’t pity her.
She took a deep breath and rubbed her sweaty hands on her thighs.
“Thank you. She showed me the kind of mother I wanted to be, by showing me the kind of mother I didn’t want to be. So from the time I found out I was pregnant with Jackson, it didn’t matter how it happened, or who it was with, I was all in. Discovering his powers didn’t change that.”
“I’m glad.” Ajax’s eyes darkened. “I’m glad it was you I found out I wasn’t sterile with, and not someone else. Someone who would care for Jackson less.”
She considered her reply for a few seconds before saying it, surprised at its truth. But she loved Jackson with all her heart, would never change things if it meant losing him. And Ajax… Having him in her life was complicated. Necessary. Distracting. But also…kind of great.
“I’m glad too.” She smiled at him. He didn’t smile back, but there was a look in his eyes, a softness that made her warm from head to toe, made her look away with her cheeks warming. She looked back to him with a smile and an invitation on her tongue when his phone rang.
“Ajax here,” he answered. The softness of his gaze was transformed into something else, something harder, colder.
Her stomach dropped.
CHAPTER NINE
“Where are you, Ajax?”
Ajax’s focus sharpened, the warmth of whatever moment they were having replaced by a cold dread.
“I’m at the patrol point,” he lied, a quick look at his watch. Shit. He hadn’t noticed the time and was late. He stood quickly, Emory casting him a questioning look.
“Really? That’s funny, because I’m at the patrol point chasing a mess of Chaolt and I don’t see you.”
Fuuuuuuck. Caught. Now he could hear Levi’s heavy breathing, his quick footfalls as he ran somewhere. “We have a situation here, you and I.”
Ajax grabbed his jacket and shrugged it on. “I’ll be there in three minutes.”
“See that you are, Ajax. I’m heading west, up into the foothills.”
With a click, Levi disconnected the call. He ran past a surprised, curious Emory. “I have to go. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
He cursed all the way there.
Speeding towards the patrol point, his mind churned. He’d lied about that point to Walker. Why were the Chaolt there, instead of near Emory’s house? Was there an even stronger, more volatile Erratic there?
And fuck, what if there was? He’d totally missed it by not even showing up. But he’d had to protect Emory and Jackson.
Guilt pierced him, because that was an excuse. He’d been chasing Emory, playing house, instead of being the damn soldier he was supposed to be.
He skidded to a stop and threw the truck into park. Within seconds, he was running toward the rocky slope. He followed the acrid scent of Chaos until he saw Levi ahead of him, weaving around large boulders behind three Chaolt hauling ass up the mountain.
The Chaolt were winning the race. And Levi wasn’t using his powers, why? He was the only one of them that was any use around the Chaolt. They nulled out every other Warrior’s powers when they got close.
Shit, what could he do?
He turned around the opposite way and ran full tilt until he felt his powers coming back, and then stopped and aimed carefully, trying to predict where a Chaolt would be in the next few seconds.
Then with a spin, he turned and threw his knife with the full extent of his power behind it.
Air pushing it, the blade soared silently over Levi’s head and buried itself to the hilt in one of the enemy’s back. It struggled a few more steps, and then fell to the ground, the other two running past without a backwards glance.
Ajax didn’t see it happen, but he caught the puff of black ash rising into the sky on his wind.
Levi plucked the knife from the ground, flashed a look at Ajax, and kept running after them.
Now, he needed to catch up. He ran toward them. The power drain was beginning, but he used what he could to propel him more quickly across the rocks.
He was only twenty feet behind Levi now. If he would just use his fire… “Burn their asses!” he shouted as he ran.
But either Levi didn’t hear him, or ignored him. Either way, he ran on, chasing them on foot.
“Shit,” he growled and followed them up. Higher and higher. Up, past where the tree-line gave way to craggy scrub brush. Up to where they were using all fours to scrabble over boulders and rocks. Sharp edges of stone cut into his palms, making him bleed as he climbed. He felt them healing over, just in time to get sliced again. Higher and higher until the air was thin and he didn’t have any powers at all to help him breathe this close to them.
Even with the superior strength, endurance, and healing being Warriors gave them, the Chaolt pulled far ahead. He couldn’t even see them anymore, could only feel the signature rattle in his brain leading him forward.
And then it too was gone.
Levi stopped cold for a second in front of him, and then pushed harder up the rocks. They crested a rise and looked around… no one. They were fucking gone, into thin air, even the brain buzz was silent. They hadn’t just got too far ahead, they’d completely disappeared.
“What. The. Fuck,” he wheezed, hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. He cupped the air and pushed it into his hungry lungs with his powers. And Levi’s too, even though he didn’t seem to be having as much trouble.
Levi turned away without a word and started the long, treacherous path back down the mountain. Heat waves rose from his shoulders, the scenery behind him wavering.
Fuck.
He waited until they got to easier ground. “Levi—”
“Where the fuck were you? Why weren’t you here?” Levi interrupted. He was pissed, his jaw tight and eyes glowing with orange light. Levi looked like he wanted to nuke his ass, and fuck, he deserved it if he did.
And Ajax didn’t have an answer, hadn’t thought of one. Couldn’t tell him the truth. He gritted his teeth and held out his hand for his knife. “It won’t happen agai
n.”
“You can have this back in a minute,” Levi said, holding it away from him, “After I tell you a couple of things. Number one. You’re damn right, it won’t happen again.” Levi shoved a finger in his chest.
Ajax held Levi’s gaze even though he wanted to lash out, his hand clenching around his other knife.
“Number two. I’ve been there, where I screwed this up because of something else going on. But whatever the hell else it is, you have a sworn duty, a job to do. This job. You’re a huge pain in my ass, Ajax, but I know you’re a good Warrior.” Levi flexed, settling his jacket more firmly on his shoulders. “So I’m going to let you tell Walker about this instead of him hearing it from me. You hash out whatever your reason was with him, I don’t need to know.”
Ajax took a deep breath and nodded. This was more than he deserved. Walker hearing this from Levi would have been an almost guaranteed ticket back home. But fuck, what was he going to tell Walker?
Levi flipped the knife in his hand and held it out, hilt first. Ajax took it slowly, and put it back in his coat.
Levi took a deep breath, his eyes dimming as his chest expanded, the heat coming off him settling down into a simmer.
“And number three.”
Here we go…
“That was fucking sweet, how you killed that one. I never would have thought about running the other way.” And Levi laughed, head thrown back.
Ajax blew out a breath that turned to a chuckle, despite the situation. “Thanks.”
“Now get out of here. Call Walker, tell him about the Chaolt pulling their disappearing act, and why you weren’t here when you make your report. Don’t make me do it.”
Dismissed, Ajax turned away to his truck. And then… He’d been so focused on his own failure, that he forgot to ask.
“Levi?”
“What.” The snap was still there in the other man’s voice despite his leniency.
“Why didn’t you use your powers to stop the Chaolt from getting away?”
Levi put his hands in his pockets and stared up into the hills, letting out a long sigh.
“It’s happening again. My control, it’s…unpredictable.” He turned his head toward Ajax, the embers glowing in his gaze again. “And I was so pissed about you not being here, I was afraid I would lose it.”
Rise (Elemental Hearts Book 2) Page 9
