Crave (Forbidden Series Book #1)

by Dani René

  I drag my gaze back to the envelope, which has only my name scrawled on the front and my heart stops. It’s his handwriting. Samael.

  Quickly, I rip it open and find a small silver card with the Wolfe logo on it. I turn it over and find a number. Racing to the phone behind the bar, I lift the receiver, and with shaky fingers I dial the numbers hoping it connects me to him.

  Three rings and the voice on the other end of the line, which is so familiar yet so strange, answers. “Angel.” One word and I’m a sobbing mess on the floor. I can’t bring myself to say his name because I’m sure if I acknowledge he’s real, I’ll wake up and it will be a dream. “Baby, please don’t cry.”

  His tone is laced with anguish. Only I know how much this man is hurting and it’s only from the sound of his voice. “S…a…m?” I manage to get his name out in between sobs, and I hear his intake of breath.

  “It’s me baby, I’m glad that fucker did what I asked. Listen, I can’t come to you now, but soon. I’ve almost got all this shit sorted and I’ll come for you. I swear on my life, I’ll find you, Angel.” Just like that, the line dies and I cry out in the empty bar.

  My body is wracked with pain as the sobs take over and grip my heart in their wretched claws threatening to rip it from my chest. Unexpectedly, I feel strong arms lift me and carry me to the office. “Jesus, Freya. I told him not to do this.” Dax’s voice is deep as he grinds out the words. My eyes meet his and he tries to calm me by offering me a smile. “I want you to go home. You’re not working like this. I’ll have Axe take you home.”

  There’s no way I can refuse because I can’t even form a sentence. So I nod as I curl up on the sofa in his office and cry.

  “I came for you.” Those perfect lips form the words, but I know it’s not real. It never will be.

  Shaking my head, I step back and take him in.

  “Samael.” As soon as I utter his name, he smiles the perfect smile that used to make me blush. “I can’t do this anymore. You’re not here. You left me. I wanted to be with you and you pushed me away.” It’s all true. He told me to leave and when I did, I had to figure out how to live without him. I had to look after myself because he wasn’t there to give me forever. Even though he promised me a life, he didn’t deliver.

  Turning, I take a tentative step away, then another and another. The further I get the more I feel the ache in my chest intensify. The pain of him leaving. Unease settles in my gut like a lead weight. My life is empty.

  “Angel, please, don’t leave me. I’ll come for you. I promise.” I don’t turn because I don’t want to see him. I don’t want to look into his eyes and see the agony that reflects my own. And as I leave, I feel him disappear.

  My body aches as I curl into the warmth of my bed. The banging in my head is enough to rip me from my dreams. Sam’s face haunts me every day. There are times I wonder if I’ll ever be whole again. Will I ever know what happiness is, or am I doomed to stay in this abyss of melancholy and loneliness?

  I roll over and find the room shrouded in darkness. I should be heading out, having fun like most people my age do, but I can’t even bring myself to spend time with the people who’ve helped me leave the house.

  Pushing off the bed, I head into the second bedroom and find everything still quiet, so I pad over to the kitchen and fill a glass with water and pop two painkillers, hoping it will ease the throbbing pain from so many tears.

  Walking over to the terrace, I stare outside, taking in the darkness of the early morning. The stars are still twinkling in the inky sky and the moon is just a sliver shimmering like a beacon. A light in the darkness. It’s starting to get cold and as winter comes, I realize it will soon be a year since I’ve been free. But deep inside, my freedom means nothing because he’s not here.

  I turn away and head back into the bedroom. The silence can be deafening at times and that’s when I miss my old room. The intricate patterns that adorned the ceiling, the soft pillow that I used to rest on after a night with clients, but most of all the soft thrum of his heartbeat when I fell asleep on his chest.

  Sam used to tell me it only started beating when he saw me. Even in the worst situation we had found solace in each other. My eyes flutter closed, but a vibration beside me has them snapping open.

  The phone on my nightstand vibrates again and I reach for it, sliding my finger over the screen I voice with confidence, “I know it’s you.” The soft sigh on the other end tells me I’m right in my assumption. “Please, talk to me,” I beg. He always wanted me to beg, and here I am obeying his wishes without him having to order me.

  “I shouldn’t be doing this.” Regret is thick in his voice and I realize he’s putting me in danger. Most of all, he’s putting himself at risk of being caught.

  “I know,” I answer honestly and another sigh comes through the phone. “Are you okay?” I murmur my question.

  “No, Angel. I can never be okay without you in my life. You should know that.” He’s frustrated and it’s rolling off of his words, causing me to tremble. “When I’m not with you it feels as if my soul has been ripped out. I told you that night, Angel, when you walked out that door, you took my heart along with you, and I won’t have it back until you’re in my arms again.”

  My breathing hitches in the dark and my body reacts in the only way it can. The throb between my thighs aches and everything below my belly button tightens. “Sam.” His name whispered in the dark, swirls around me, and I hear him groan.

  “Jesus, Angel, hearing you moan my name like that… It does things to me. It makes me want to do filthy, dirty things to you.” The dark promise sends another jolt to my clit, my nipples harden, and I settle on the bed. Lying back, I listen to his deep breaths.

  “Tell me, Sam… please?” Squeezing my thighs together to ease the ache, I wait.

  “Slide your hand down your stomach, slowly. Feel your fingers tease their way down. Imagine it’s my hand, my thick fingers slipping inside those tiny panties and finding your sweet, wet cunt,” he growls, and I obey. My hand taunts me as it moves meticulously down my body to where I need it the most. When I finally slip my hand into the panties I’m wearing, I let out a soft moan.

  I am more than wet. I’m drenched.

  “Now, I want you to flick that tiny clit. Imagine it’s my tongue. Tweak it, tug it, baby. Imagine you’re sitting on my face because I commanded you to. I’ve got your nipples clamped and your collar tightened around that beautiful, slender neck.” A rumble comes through the line, I hear his belt buckle clink and I realize he’s taking his cock out. The one thing I need inside me.

  A moan escapes my lips as he continues to tease me with his words. That elusive orgasm I’ve chased for so many lonely nights is about to hit me full force, and I’m not sure I can handle it.

  “Sir, I need you.”

  Another deep groan from him and he continues with his filthy promises. “Fuck, Angel, I’m so hard. You don’t know what you do to me, little one,” he growls. “I’m dying to bend you over and drive into that hot little cunt. Mine. Do you hear me? You are mine. Every inch of your gorgeous body and that incredible mind. I swear to you, when I lay my hands on you again I’m going to fuck you so hard, so deep, so fucking dirty you’re going to be molded for only my cock. Those tight slick walls of your body will crave me, like I crave you. I’m going to fucking own you, Angel. I’m going to come to you, claim you, and I’m going to ruin you.” Those final few words send me over and I’m spiraling. My toes curl into the sheet as my fingers fly over my clit, dipping into my core, drenched in my release as I whimper and moan into the phone.

  “Fuck.” The word comes out as a low hiss. My high slowly dissipates and I hear him growl as he comes moments later. It’s been so long that we both found our release too quickly and sadness washes over me when I realize we’ll have to say goodbye and I don’t know when I’ll get the chance to talk to him again.

  “Good girl. Now go to sleep.” And with that he hangs up leaving me sated, yet in ag
onizing pain. Rolling over, I clutch the phone like a lifeline hoping it will bring him to me.

  Even though I know this is for the best, it doesn’t ease the throbbing in my chest and it doesn’t heal my wounded heart. So I close my eyes as the tears slowly ease their way from my eyes and make their way down my cheeks. As sleep overtakes me, my body still quivering for the man I love, I know deep down he’s fighting for me. For us.

  It’s been two days since I came all over my stomach listening to her over the phone. Forty-eight fucking torturous hours of imagining how beautiful she looked coming apart. Her body unraveling at only my words.

  I need to fast forward this whole thing because it’s killing me not being near her. Today’s meeting with my father needs to yield results. My bedroom door flies open and Kandi comes stalking in.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” I growl out, but she ignores me and drops to her knees. “I asked you a fucking question.” Her gaze lifts and tears shimmer in her eyes.

  “I need your help. I’d never come to you if it wasn’t important.” My gaze hardens into a stare and I nod for her to continue. “Your father…he’s got my son.” Her words settle on my heart and hatred sparks every nerve in my body. This has gone far enough.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll sort it out. Did he say why? Is there a reason he’s done this?” She shakes her head but the tears streaming down her cheeks tell me she’s hiding something. “Jesus, K, you need to talk to me. I can’t help you if you’re going to hide shit from me.” Suddenly, she tumbles onto the bed and burrows herself into a little ball in my arms.

  “What the hell is going on here?” I glance up to find Dax glaring at me.

  “My father has her son, but I don’t know why.”

  He narrows his eyes as he takes in my shirtless torso. “And she decided that your bed is the best place to be?” The retort has my blood boiling.

  “Don’t fucking go there, you know I love Angel.” The woman in my arms lifts her head and stares at me. Emotion dances across her face and I know she’s hiding something. “Kandi, what the fuck are you not telling me?” That’s when I see it, the answer swimming in her eyes. She fucked him. Gripping her neck, I squeeze, cutting off her air supply.

  “Sam, fuck man, Samael, let her loose.” My arm is ripped from her, and she falls to the ground sucking in air. “What the fuck is wrong with you, man?” His deep voice booms through my bedroom.

  “Tell me, Kandi? Did you want to climb the ranks? You want to be a fucking whore, too?” I spit the words at the woman I’ve been with on numerous occasions and she never once told me.

  “I… He made me… I just—”

  “Get the fuck out.”

  “Please, Sam, I need help. It’s my son!” she cries out, but I’m done listening to her shit. I push off the bed and stalk toward her scrambling figure.

  “And it’s my fucking brother isn’t it?!” I roar back at her. With that, I lift her by the arm and drag her to the door. Once she’s outside, I slam it behind me and turn to regard Dax. “She was fucking my father. Did you know?” He shakes his head. There’s no more explanation needed so I head to the bathroom and turn on the shower. “I have a meeting with him in an hour. I’ll call you after,” I tell him through the open door.

  “I’ll be waiting,” comes his reply, and then I’m left alone with my thoughts of what just happened. I have a half brother. Stepping into the warm spray, I steady myself by placing my hands on the tiles. As I drop my head, my eyes close. My muscles are taut with exhaustion and stress. If only I can get into my father’s safe, I can get all the evidence needed to finally put him away. Once it’s done, I can finally go to Angel and make her mine.

  I don’t know how long I stand in the shower, but when the water runs cold, I turn off the taps and step out, toweling myself off. I take in my appearance. There are dark circles under my eyes, but the blue is as bright as ever. One day I want a baby with Angel, with blue eyes and her blonde hair. A perfect child.

  I’ve never wanted a family. Not wanting to bring offspring into the world with the Wolfe name, but deep down an innate and primal need begs me to do it, to see her pregnant with my child. For her body to accept my seed and watch her belly grow.

  Shaking my head, I head into the bedroom and pull out a shirt and slacks. Inhaling a deep breath, I get dressed, ready to face the head of the household.

  Moments later, I’m heading toward my father’s office. As soon as I enter, I find it dimly lit, reminding me of the darkness that surrounds this house, the club and everyone in it, including me. He lifts his head to regard me as I close the door and I make my way further into the cavernous room, settling into a chair opposite his large mahogany desk.

  “Samael, what can I do for you, son?” he questions, the word son on his lips making me sick. I don’t want to be his son. Not now, not ever.

  “I think I should be made manager,” I speak confidently, “since I’m running the club, surely I’ll need access to the records?” I question him in earnest, hoping he doesn’t see through my shit. I need to gather as much evidence as I can, but I can only do that if he gives me access to the safe where all the records of clients and financial documents are kept.

  He meets my eyes and I wonder how I was ever born into this family. Yes, I’m not a hearts and roses kind of guy. Sure, I enjoy inflicting pain, but since I found Angel, my outlook on life has changed. I’m in love for the first time and I want to own her. Only her, forever.

  What we do here has sickened me over the past few years and it needs to end.

  As soon as fucking possible.

  “Is there a reason you’re in such a rush?” His question was something I anticipated, but the shrewd look he pins me with wasn’t.

  “No, I just wanted to make sure that I’m in line to take over. Since Kael is gone, I figured it would fall to me to carry on the legacy.” The shit I’m spewing is enough to make me sick, but when his mouth curves into a smirk filled with pride, I realize he’s buying the lie.

  “Of course, Samael. You’ll be a great leader for what we’ve built. This is our family’s business, your grandfather built it up from nothing.” He steeples his fingers and watches me. “You know, I thought that little blonde whore was going to be your downfall.” He chuckles and it takes every ounce of my restraint not to dive over this desk and choke him to death with my bare hands.

  “She was a toy I trained. Nothing more.” The words fall from my mouth, but leave a bitter taste on my tongue.

  “Mmm, since she was nothing to you, I’d like you to find her. I’ve given Dax orders to help you locate her. You’ll work together to find the little slut and bring her back here. I’d like to teach her a lesson on respect,” he grinds out, and I notice the tick in his jaw.

  My hackles raise in shock at this new turn of events. If he finds her he’ll kill her. And it will be slow and painful. My heart feels as if it’s about to break through my chest when I respond. “Why not let her go? I mean she’s replaceable.”

  “Nobody walks away from me. Your brother fucked up once, I’m not letting that happen again.” He likes to remind me of what Kael did. When my brother met the red haired beauty he fell and he fell hard. But that’s not what my father means, he’s talking about letting his son go and not being able to control him. “Unless you’d like to join him?” He cocks his head to the side and watches me with an intense glare.

  “Of course not, father.” The tension radiating through me is enough to fuck up my whole plan, but when he sits back and pulls out the paperwork I’d initially come in here for my heart rate calms.

  “Make sure the new girls are seen to. I want you focused on finding the little blonde. You and Dax will make a formidable team. Can you handle that?” He pins me with a stern glare once more and I nod.

  “You can count on me.” I respond, pushing up from the chair, I turn and head for the door. “I’ll see you later.” Once I’m out of the lion’s den, I head back to my office with tension flowing off me in w
aves.

  I can’t let him find her. Lifting the receiver, I dial Dax’s number, his answer comes within an instant. “What’s up?”

  “Get in my fucking office now.”

  I don’t have to wait long so I know he was on the property.

  As soon as he enters, I bite out the question that was sitting on my tongue like a poison. “You knew he’s looking for her?” Silence greets me like a slap to the face. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” I grind my teeth angrily, rearing back my fist and slamming it into my desk. “Fuck. If our plan is going to work, you need to be honest with me. I can’t walk into shit like that again. It felt like an ambush and I wasn’t ready for it.”

  “I know, I should have told you, but there wasn’t time. I know what we can do.” Twisting my head, I regard him with a fierce glare. “We need to sit down and talk this through.”

  At this point, I’d do anything to get this over with, so I nod. “Talk.”

  We’ve got everything planned to the smallest fucking detail, but the stress it’s putting on me is too much. “Sam.” The voice from behind me is tentative and I know she’s scared of me. Turning to regard her, I take in the woman who’s been fucking me and my father and I feel more disgust for her than I would have if she was a whore.

  “Pour me a Scotch, make it a double.” She no longer has my respect because someone sick and desperate enough to fuck my father and have his child is nothing to me.

  “Please.”

  “If you can’t fucking do your job then leave,” I growl out, and she nods swiftly, turning to grab the whisky and tumbler. Placing it on the bar, she pours a large measure and leaves the bottle beside me.

  “I wish you luck with Angel.”

  The name of the woman I love on her lips sends me spiraling. Gripping her throat, I pull her over the bar and hiss in her face, “Do not fucking say her name.” Once I’ve released her, I pick up my glass and down the shot, savoring the burn in my throat as it works its way into my bloodstream.