Crave (Forbidden Series Book #1)

by Dani René

  Our Salvation

  I promised you heaven,

  You gave me hell,

  I filled you with light,

  You gave me your darkness,

  In the maelstrom,

  Together we find salvation

  dani rené

  one year later

  “Angel, I need you to trust me. I’ve got a plan, but I need you to go with Kael and Dax tonight. Theia is waiting at a small apartment for you. She’ll help you once you’re there.” Her eyes meet mine, and I see anger, elation, and fear burning a hole into me as she glares at me.

  “What do you mean? You make love to me then push me away?” Shaking my head, I pull her into my arms and savor the fragrance of her sweetness.

  “Baby, I need you to go. Get out of this place. I’ll come for you, but I want you safe when this place goes down.” She stares at me with anger and I know I deserve it. I finally made love to her tonight, I gave her all of me and now I’m telling her to leave without me.

  “But, Sam, I can’t leave you.” I spent the last two hours inside her, tasting her, touching her and now it’s goodbye. I don’t have a choice. It’s easier with her out of the house. When my brother agreed to help, I knew I had to take the step to save her. He will drive her to the apartment where Theia is waiting. Dax told me he’ll be able to get her past the guards, and I agreed without a second thought. Perhaps I did it too late, but I’ve always been a selfish man. I kept her here for too long.

  She’s endured enough. “You have to. There’s no other way,” I implore her, but she shakes her head which frustrates me. I’ve only got a small time frame to get her out of here before my father returns. “Angel, please, look at me?” When she does the agony in her stare tells me all I need to know. She does love me. Like I love her. But I can’t tell her yet or she’ll never go.

  “Samael,” she murmurs, but I shake my head and cup her face in my hands.

  “Angel, you’re mine. Nothing has changed or will ever change. There’s a plan in place and I’d like you safe when it all goes to hell.”

  She smiles then and my heart soars. “I told you I’d walk through hell with you. Beside you.”

  “Oh, my sweet Angel. I’d do anything to keep you beside me. For me, please do this. I need you to go with Dax, and I’ll come for you. I promise that you’ll have the forever you want, but we need to bring all this to an end. I’ve always been selfish with you, since the first time I laid my eyes on you. You hold my heart, take it with you and know that wherever you go I’ll be with you. You’ll never be alone.” Her gaze glistens with unshed tears, and all I want to do is make her smile.

  “So you want me gone?” I didn’t think this could be so hard, but her question guts me. She peers up through dark lashes and her questioning gaze almost has me changing my mind when Dax walks into my office.

  “I’ve prepped everything.” I drag my gaze to him and nod. “The car is waiting.” His eyes dart between me and Angel and he turns on his heel, leaving us to say goodbye.

  “Pet, this is an order. I want you to go now. They’ll keep you safe for me till I can come for you.” Leaning in, I plant a soft kiss on her full lips. Her tongue darts out tracing my lips as if she’s trying to commit me to memory as I am her. Her taste, the feel of her skin and body. That incredible smile, but most of all, her heart.

  When we finally pull away, she offers me a smile. “I’ll wait for you. For as long as you want, I’ll be there, my heart is yours Samael Wolfe.”

  Dax saunters back in and watches us intently. “Come on, sweetheart. Time to go.” And then she’s gone. As silently as she walked into my life, she’s walked out and I’m left with an ache unlike anything I’ve ever felt.

  “Mr. Wolfe.” The voice behind me is tentative and I know why. Pivoting, I meet the dark eyes of my private investigator. “I’ve got news.” The man is almost six feet tall, but when he hands me the envelope, he shrinks back.

  Without answering him, I pull the photos from the manila folder, the top one stills my breathing and stops my heart. The beautiful blonde in the photo is smiling and laughing with my sister and Dax. But that’s not what angers me. It’s the other two people in the photo that have my blood at boiling point.

  Taking her in again, closer this time, I notice her face, her smile.

  She’s smiling.

  The way she used to smile at me.

  She’s happy.

  “What the fuck is Axel Knight doing with her?” I bite out the question, grinding my molars together angrily. Even though I don’t want to know, I glance at the man who’s brought me the worst news he ever could have. Beady eyes flit between me and the pages I’m holding, but he doesn’t answer.

  Dropping the pages, I stalk toward him angrily and pin him against the door. “Sir, Mr. Wolfe—”

  “I asked you a fucking question. What about the baby?”

  “I couldn’t get more information, but I think he’s only living with them. There’s no marriage license, so they can’t be married, but my guess is that they’re dating.” I recall the night a year ago when I was with her and Axel was there in the dead of night. He was there because he’s living with her? Anger barrels through me like a storm. My sister and Dax didn’t tell me about this and I’m about to lose my shit with my little sister. They sure as hell didn’t tell me about a child.

  She moved on and had a fucking baby with Axel? How the hell did I not see this happening? We were together only a year ago. Since then, my father had been watching me so closely, I couldn’t get away again, I haven’t even been able to call her.

  “I don’t fucking pay you to guess! I pay you to find out what the fuck is going on since my sister decided to withhold information from me and if you can’t do that then perhaps I should dispose of you.” My growl vibrates through me and my blood boils to the point of agony. She’s happy. The words ring through me, shattering every ounce of restraint I have. Rearing my fist, I plow it into the wall beside the head of the man who looks like he’s just pissed himself.

  “Mr. Wolfe, I assure you, I’ll find out more information. You need to give me a chance. I’ve been on the case for two days.” His pleading dissipates the crimson behind my eyes, and I nod. Releasing his neck, I step back and swipe my hands over my face in frustration.

  This is a fuck up, I’ve left it for too long and she’s moved on. “Find out what you can by seven tomorrow evening. Once you’ve given me your information, I’ll transfer your fee.” I turn my back on him and I hear the relieved sigh from behind me.

  “Thank you, Sir.” The door clicks and I’m alone, detached from everything around me.

  Heading back to my desk, I lift the photo of her, taking in every pixel, every tiny box of color that allows me to see the woman I love. Her curves are sensual, the body of a woman who’s had a baby. With another man.

  The sting of my knuckles from punching the wall doesn’t match the ache in my chest.

  This is ridiculous.

  I promised her I’d be back, that I’d be the man she spends her life with. Did the night I risked everything mean nothing to her? I thought she understood why I was doing this.

  Guilt, shame, anger, they’re all swirling through me like a brewing storm. The hurricane of emotions that send me into turmoil. Angrily I swipe my arm across the desk, shoving everything to the floor with a resounding crash.

  “Fuck!” The word hangs in the air, taunting me.

  Suddenly, my door flies open and my sister glares at me in frustration.

  “What the hell is going on?” Her eyes that match mine flit across the desk, my bloodied hand, and then back to my face. “Sam?” I watch her silently stalk toward me, when she stops beside me, I hand her the photo and hear the gasp from her lips.

  “Is she with Axe?” I question, my rage is at an all time high and my fist connects with the desk. “Jesus, Theia, what the fuck are you hiding from me?”

  “No.” She confesses. Theia drops the photo in front of me and points at t
he baby who can’t be more than a few months old. “This little girl…” Her red fingernail prods at the child. “Is yours.” Whipping my head toward her, I regard her with furrowed brows.

  “What?”

  “Look.” She grabs the other photos from the floor and lays them beside each other. Each image shows different angles of the tiny, fair haired child and I take her in. My mind is suddenly racing with questions.

  It can’t be mine.

  “Freya told me about the night you spent with her. When you were meant to be out on an errand for dad. She said you found her in Axel’s arms and lost your shit.” She whispers like I’m a child who doesn’t understand. I nod. “You didn’t want to know about her personal life. I tried to tell you, but you pushed me away. Sammy, this is your daughter.”

  “But—”

  “Samael,” when she uses my real name I know she’s angry or frustrated with me. “Listen to me. After that night, you told me to watch over her so you could focus on getting the FBI onto dad’s case. All these months Dax told you to go to her, he told you that she needed you but you pushed him and me away. I’m your sister and you told me to leave you alone while you deal with this, so I did. Sam, Angel fell pregnant that night and you’ve got a daughter.” Her confession sends me reeling. Too much. This is too fucking much.

  “You didn’t tell me.” I retort angrily. I realize it’s not her fault because I asked her not to. Because I couldn’t bring myself to look at the woman I let go. Even though it was better that way.

  “Sam. Go to her.” Dragging my gaze to her, I regard my little sister with apprehension. Fear guts me deeply, but most of all, guilt squeezes my chest making it hard to breathe.

  I fall back into my chair and weep. This can’t be happening. I have a child. A little girl.

  “What if she doesn’t want me?” I murmur through my sorrow. The question hangs in the silence between us, and I glance up, waiting for her to give me good news. To tell me that the woman who’s held my heart since the first time I saw her still loves me.

  “There’s only one way to find out, Sammy. And you’re going to have to do it on your own.”

  xxx

  My father called a meeting in my office this evening. I’m not sure why, but I have a feeling it’s not going to go well. Our plan is at the end. I’ve collected everything I need. The FBI have requested me to hand in all documentation tomorrow, after that, I’ll go to Angel, I’ll claim her and my daughter.

  The hallways are quiet this early in the morning, but as soon as I step inside my office, I know something is off. Dax is sitting in the chair opposite my desk and my father is standing behind it. “Ah, here he is.”

  “What’s going on?” I question, but when the man I’ve put all my trust in turns to look at me it feels as if my heart is about to beat it’s way out of my chest.

  “I’ve found her.” Three fucking words and I’m beside him in a second. This wasn’t part of the plan. What the fuck is he doing?

  “What?”

  “Well, son, it seems you’ve fucked up this time.” The deep rumble of my father’s voice echoes through my body. It feels as if I’m standing on a ledge and I’m about to jump.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Don’t fucking lie to me!” he bellows. “You’ve been fucking hiding her. Dax here was kind enough to inform me of the pretty little house you’ve set up for her.” Ice fills my veins and I’m about to choke the life out of the man who I allowed into my life when my father continues. “He told me how you got her out of the country. I’ll have her brought back tonight.”

  What he’s telling me doesn’t make sense. I didn’t take Angel out of the country. She’s only an hour away from here, that way I could keep an eye on her. My gaze falls on Dax and then the screen of his laptop.

  The message, clear as day, screams at me.

  Play along.

  So I do.

  “Father, you can’t be serious. She was just a whore.” I glance back at the old man and his vile sneer is enough to make me want to throttle him.

  “She was. Especially when I used her.” My grip on the chair tightens and breathing becomes difficult. The proud grin he gives me is enough to boil my blood. I recall him summoning her, but she never told me he hurt her. I saw her after that night and she was fine, there wasn’t a mark on her, which at the time I thought was strange, but I didn’t question it. I was just relieved he didn’t hurt her.

  “What?” The word is out of my mouth before I can stop myself.

  “Oh yes, she was lovely. Come here, son, let me show you.” He flops into my office chair and turns on the iMac, which sits on my desk. The large screen comes to life, and I stalk around to join him. He clicks the video file, which I notice is on a memory stick, and the video plays full screen.

  As soon as Angel appears, my anger skyrockets, sending me into a frenzy. My emotions are like a cup overflowing, but I can’t let him see. There’s too fucking much. The images on screen are worse than I can ever bring myself to imagine.

  Her cries echo through the room and I watch her blood spill. Her body used. Her face contorted in more pain than any of the things I’ve done to her or the girls in my care.

  “She was so talented with that little mouth. Her sweet cunt—” Before he can say anything more my hands instinctively go to his throat and rage propels me. Anger darkens my vision, it swirls around me like a tornado and I realize I’m fucked. I squeeze his throat and even as his hands claw at mine to release him, I don’t. I can’t. He needs to die. I don’t know where the strength comes from, but adrenaline surges through me and I choke the breath from my father.

  “Sam, what the fuck are you doing?” Dax’s face is pure shock, but I don’t care. As the video continues to play, I feel my father’s life slowly slip away.

  I spin the chair around so I can look into his eyes. Shock is present in his expression as I tighten my hold. Slowly his eyes dim, but before they extinguish completely, I make him one final promise. “You are filth. You are not my father. I swear on my life, this place is over. You are over. I will never be like you.” With that, I watch the light fade and then he’s gone.

  “Jesus Christ, Sam.” Thank fuck for Dax because I’m frozen. He turns the video off and pulls out his phone. “Sam’s office. Clean up. Now.”

  And just like that I killed my own father.

  Because he was a monster.

  Because he hurt the one woman I love.

  Because he fucked with the wrong man.

  I promised I’d never be like him, and I won’t, I’ll be worse. I’ll make sure all these filthy fuckers have justice served to them on a golden platter.

  Around me people move, men rush around, my father’s body disappears and all I can do is stare into the night. The darkness I’ve always had inside me finally took a life.

  I killed for her. And if you asked me to do it again, I would. I’d do it every fucking time.

  Slowly guilt, anger, and fury grip me in their claws, dragging me under.

  “Hey man, drink this.” Dax pushes a glass into my hand. Robotically, I down the shot and he refills the glass. “My guys are taking care of it. We’ll get the story out that he died of a heart attack or some shit. We’ve got the medical examiner who’ll be more than happy to assist if we keep his name clean.” He keeps talking but I don’t listen. Nothing stands in my way anymore. I can finally be with her, but I can’t bring myself to go there yet.

  I’m a murderer.

  I’ve killed.

  Even though he deserved it, I’ve taken a life that wasn’t mine to take.

  And guilt sits like a lead weight in my chest.

  “Freya, he knows.” Shock hits me square in the gut and breathing becomes difficult. He can’t know. But I can see in her blue eyes that she’s telling the truth. I drag my gaze away from Theia’s and stare out the window. The sun is coming up on the horizon bathing the room in a soft light, reminding me of what’s to come.

&nb
sp; It’s been a year since that night and I glance at my baby girl in her crib beside my bed. Clueless about how much her world is about to unravel. “Did you tell him?” I question without meeting her gaze.

  “No, he had a PI follow you. He’s beside himself Freya, he thought the child was Axel’s.” She chuckles on that last bit of information and I can’t help but grin because I know that would have been one hell of a conversation starter.

  “Well, he hasn’t called, so I guess he’s not ready to take on the responsibility.” I shrug with anger and sadness gripping me, stealing my breath.

  “He will, I know my brother and even though he’s a stubborn ass, he’s still irrevocably in love with you. There’s never been a doubt in my mind that he would find his way back to you.” She rises and places a soft kiss on my forehead. “I love you, sis, I know we’re not blood, but you’re my sister for all intents and purposes. You’ll always be.”

  “Thank you, sweetheart. I’m just ready to go back to work now.” She nods quietly, and I know what’s coming. She and Dax both want me to stop working at the club, but I can’t take Sam’s money anymore. I’ve put it all in a savings account for Layla to use as a college fund. I want her to live the life I never got to have. Not being able to finish my studies is the one thing I am angry about, but since I’ve been doing part-time classes, I feel as if I can finally have a career.

  I’ve finally moved into the house he bought me because the apartment with a baby became too small. So here I am, waiting.

  “How are the classes going?”

  Shrugging, I glance at my desk which is piled high with textbooks. “It’s okay, I’ve got so much homework to catch up on. Thankfully I’ve been able to do it online as well so now I just need to finish my assignments.”

  “I’m sure you’ll kill it, babe. I’ve got to get to the club to make sure the delivery is handled since Dax is with… Uhm…”