Living With Doubt (The Regret Series Book 2)

by Riann C. Miller

  “Come on, you can’t tell me you haven’t pictured the two of us going at it like rabbits since we first met.”

  I laugh, pretending what he said is ridiculous when it’s anything but. “You’re not my type, Jake. Sorry.”

  “I’m every woman’s type. You’re just afraid to give me the chance to prove that to you.”

  “How is it possible that you and your self-esteem managed to fit through the doorway?”

  Jake tilts his head back and laughs. “I like you, Lacey. You’re definitely a breath of fresh air.”

  I do my best to give him a rude look, but either my bitchy powers are failing me completely, or he’s already immune to them. “Well, that’s a relief. I’ll sleep much better tonight knowing I have the seal of approval from the Jake Girard.”

  Jake’s smile grows with my comment. “I know you don’t hate all men, so is it just football players you dislike?”

  I shrug. “I’ve only met two, but I have to say, I’m not impressed.”

  The corner of his mouth turns up as he fights a smirk. “What exactly does impress you?”

  “People who can recite the alphabet backward and Niagara Falls.”

  Jake arches a brow. “I guess I’m out of luck then.”

  “So it seems.”

  I turn back to my drink as my phone lights up with a text.

  Morgan: Don’t wait up for me

  “As if,” I mumble.

  “Problems?”

  “No actually, just the opposite. My sister, who happens to be crashing at my place, just informed me she won’t be back for a while.”

  “Good.” Jake rubs his hands together. “This way we can get down and dirty and fuck in any room we want without being interrupted.”

  My heart speeds up at the thought of Jake in my apartment and naked no less, but I have to shut down my wandering imagination because he’s the very last person I should sleep with.

  4

  Jake

  I knew before I flew across the country that I was desperate for a night with Lacey. Pretending I only made the trip to ensure my best friend’s relationship was still intact was nothing more than a lie I told myself to feel better about it. Flat out, the woman intrigues me, and I’m not about to deny the challenge she has set in front of me, but now that I’m here, it feels like something more, something I can’t put my finger on.

  Her blue eyes are remarkable. They’re somewhere between the color of the ocean and a beautiful summer sky. I’m sure she’s more than used to men complimenting them, but for the first time in years, it feels like everything about this particular woman stands out. From her soft, pink lips, to the dip in her neck, it appears there’s nothing about her that doesn’t turn me on.

  I’ve been called a womanizer on more than one occasion, and depending on your definition, maybe I am, but I always make sure a woman knows the deal before we get naked. I’m not looking for a relationship, a fuck buddy, or even a repeat. If a woman can agree to that, then I’m down with having a good time. What I don’t do—or should I say, I haven’t until now—is chase a woman.

  “Jake, you’re crazy if you think I’m sleeping with you.”

  “I might be crazy, but that’s not the reason, and this is going to happen.”

  “I have to say your arrogance is almost impressive.”

  “Wow, I got an almost. I’m already seeing improvement.”

  Her phone lights up again, and she quickly pops off another text before setting it back down and looking out toward the dance floor. While she’s not looking, I quickly grab it and dial my number. Once I feel my phone buzz in my pocket, I replace her phone before she notices what I’ve done.

  “No need to keep looking. You have a willing victim right here.”

  Lacey turns on her bar stool. “I was looking for my sister.”

  I lean down, placing my mouth next to her ear. “Why deny yourself what your body desperately wants? One night. No one has to know.”

  Lacey shivers as her flowery clean scent invades my nose. “You’re so full of yourself, Girard.”

  She’s not about to make this easy. “That’s probably true, but you’re interested in what I’m suggesting.”

  She blows out a frustrated breath before looking me straight in the eyes. The fire I’ve seen the few times I’ve been around her is burning like normal. “You love a challenge. I’m just an East Coast girl who doesn’t know the first thing about football, nor do I care how many zeros you have in your bank account. If that wasn’t the case, you’d be off this barstool and out there scouting a ready and willing woman.”

  I wryly smile. “What’s there to complain about? I’ll go home with you, we’ll fuck like crazy, I’ll get you off as many times as your body can handle, then we’ll go our separate ways, never to speak of it again.”

  Her brow slightly arches, almost like she’s considering my offer.

  She huffs and says, “Jake, you’re not my type.” Her earlier comment seems to play on repeat.

  She wants me, and if I had to bet, I’d say she hates the fact that she does.

  “I know you like control. You’re probably used to going home with men who work in insurance or the stock market, and I’d guess they don’t weigh more than a buck fifty, but do us both a favor and make an exception just this once.”

  Her eyes appear to soften. “Jake, I don’t think—”

  “You want this. I know you do. Look me in the eyes and tell me without lying that you don’t feel this same strange…connection.”

  Her eyes flash before she nervously swallows. “You’re wrong,” she finally says.

  “I’m not wrong. It took you too long to answer.”

  “I’m a lawyer, Girard. I’m used to thinking about my answer before I give it.”

  “Bullshit,” I snap. “I’ve seen you in action before, remember?”

  She taps her finger on the bar. “Whatever. Our friends are dating, or at least they were as of this afternoon. I’m sure…” She glances at the time on her phone. “In the last seven hours, Chase has figured out a way to screw Jordan over, but if that hasn’t happened, then we should probably not fuck each other’s brains out.”

  My cock jumps in my pants. “That’s exactly what we should do.”

  Lacey crosses her legs in a subtle way, but I noticed. She’s just as turned on as I am.

  “One night. That’s all I’m asking for. We fuck and we fuck hard. Then we go our separate ways.”

  Her breathing picks up, and the normal, cocky woman I’m used to seeing starts to melt away.

  “Stop overthinking this, Lacey. I’m not asking you to marry me. I’m not even asking you to see me again after tonight.” I brush my thumb down her neck. “I’m just asking for a taste.”

  Lacey picks up her drink and throws the rest back. Afterward, she takes several deep breaths before finally turning to me. “Okay.”

  My eyes widen in shock. This is exactly what I came for, but deep down, no matter how much I want this woman, I wasn’t truly expecting her to agree to sleep with me.

  “But let me make one thing perfectly clear, Girard.”

  I nod with a smile.

  “If you tell a single soul about this, I’ll personally cut off your balls and stuff them down your throat.”

  I do everything I can not to laugh, but unfortunately, I’m not successful. “Yes, ma’am.”

  Lacey sent a text to her friend telling him she left, but she hardly spoke a word the entire ride back to her apartment.

  When we first arrived, I could tell we were most definitely in a different neighborhood compared to where Chase and Jordan live. Stepping inside her apartment only confirmed my suspicions. Her living room and kitchen are practically one confined space. A couch and a small table eat up most of the available living area.

  “I can tell what you’re thinking.” Her voice brings me out of my trance and I raise my eyes in question. “The cost of living in New York is crazy, not to mention, the amount of money I spend on
student loans leaves me practically broke when the month is over.”

  A surge of pride I wasn’t expecting starts to form in the pit of my stomach. I’m here for one night, for one reason. I’m attracted to this woman. I just need one night to get her out of my system, and sleeping with her is a guaranteed way of making that happen. I don’t want the reminder that under that feisty outside layer she shows the world, is a woman who put herself through law school. Who works as a lawyer in New York City, no less, but lives in a crappy apartment because she’s paid her way through life.

  Considering I’m used to women who believe going to a salon and shopping constitutes a full-time job, I realize just how different she is.

  “Maybe this isn’t such a good idea. Shit, what am I saying, I know this is a horrible idea,” Lacey says as she blows out a long breath of air.

  “Relax.” I take a careful step toward her, not wanting to scare her away.

  “That seems to be the only thing anyone says to me these days. Relax, Lacey.” She rubs her temples in frustration.

  “That’s because you act like you’re one bad day away from a heart attack.”

  Lacey chews on her lower lip, and it appears she’s fighting a smile. “Maybe I am. I knew achieving my dreams wouldn’t be easy, but I underestimated the stress I was placing in my life.” She drops down onto her couch.

  “I’ve always been told nothing worth having in life is easy,” I playfully say.

  She nods but doesn’t look in my direction.

  “You’re a fighter; whatever you do, don’t give up now.”

  I take a seat next to her, and when my leg brushes hers, my cock twitches.

  A moment passes before she turns her head to face me, and those confident blue eyes of hers cause another swell of respect to form.

  “I’m usually more upbeat than this. Sorry, but it seems you picked a night when my seductive skills have decided to take a hike,” she casually says.

  “Look, Lacey, if you’ve changed your mind, then I’m going to tell you it’s okay. I’ll get up and leave. We can both pretend tonight never happened, but I’m not going to lie and tell you the urge to rid you of your panties and explore what our bodies could do together isn’t consuming my mind, because it is. I want you.”

  Her eyes darken like she’s giving my words graphic visuals in her head. “Why?”

  My stare never leaves hers while I answer. “Because I’ve wanted you since the moment I opened Chase’s door.”

  “Do you always get what you want?”

  “No, but if I want something bad enough, then I’m going to do everything in my power to make it happen. Honestly, if you stop and think about it, we’re a lot alike in that respect.”

  “Why would you say that?” With her head tilted to the side, she watches me with a puzzled expression marring her beautiful face.

  “I’m not going to pretend I know you, but obviously at some point, you decided you wanted to go to law school. You did, and now you’re a lawyer making your own way through life. I decided as a kid I wanted to be a football player. I gave it my all, and now that’s exactly what I do for a living. I’ve met a lot of people over the years, and it shocks me how many think the world owes them something.”

  She clears her throat. “I thought this was supposed to be a one-night stand. Not confessions of the heart?”

  I laugh, more than ready to get back to the reason I came here. “I’m still game if you are.”

  Lacey licks her lips before she slowly climbs into my lap. Our eyes lock as my dick grows painfully hard, knowing it’s only inches away from its goal.

  “One night. And whatever happens stays between us,” she confirms.

  My heart begins to race, something it hasn’t done for a woman in years. I’m not nervous. I’m excited. “Agreed.”

  Her eyes search mine for something seconds before she covers my lips. The wanting, the waiting, the uncertainty disappears the moment our mouths move as one. Kissing has always been a means to an end, but right now, it feels like the start of something I can’t begin to imagine. But when Lacey moans with desire, I know I’m done giving up control. I flip her over onto her back, lying down on top of her, never once breaking our connection. My hand moves down her flat stomach where I quickly unbutton her jeans before sliding them down her legs.

  The second my thumb finds her swollen clit, all the lust and desire I’ve held in for this woman boils to the surface.

  “Oh fuck, you’re so wet,” I breathe against her mouth with a sense of desperation.

  “I need you to fuck me. I need it now,” she begs, panting with need. Instead of caving to her demands and giving us both what we passionately need, I continue to stroke her clit.

  “Goddammit.” She moans as she thrust her hips upward.

  I slide a finger inside her. “Come on my hand, then you can come on my dick.”

  Her breathing picks up as she moves her shirt up and her bra down. My cock jumps when her hands move to her breasts.

  “Oh, hell yeah. Grab your tits,” I order as my voice floods with desire.

  She grasps her chest, rolling the skin beneath her fingers before she pinches her rosy nipples to a hardened pebble.

  “I’m coming. I’m coming,” she chants as she tightens around my finger. “Oh God.”

  I want to say something cocky, but I’m afraid it will cause her to send me out the door before my raging hard-on is given the privilege of feeling her seemingly tight pussy.

  “Holy shit,” she huffs as she slowly returns to herself.

  “Watching you come has me so fucking hard.” I’m beyond eager for her to touch me, to reward me with the same pleasure her body just received. She stares at me with a lustful smile before she reaches for the button on my jeans. I stand up long enough to speed up the process. When I sit back down next to her, she reaches out and wraps her hand around my cock. She dampens her lips before locking them around my cock. My breaths becoming ragged, and I grow lost in the visual of her taking me deep into the back of her throat.

  “Fucking shit, that feels good.”

  She works her mouth up and down my dick like a porn star, but when my balls pull tight, I know she has to stop before I blow my load. The warmth, the feel of her tongue around my shaft, the way she teases the head has me teetering on the edge.

  “Lacey,” I say as I attempt to pull away, but she either doesn’t care or didn’t hear me. “Lacey, stop.” I push her head back as those damn blue eyes look up into mine, filled with an emotion I can’t read. “If you don’t stop I’m going to come, and I’d really like to do that when I’m balls deep inside you.”

  She slowly rises from the floor before licking her lips. “Do you have a condom?” she questions.

  “Yes.” I always have a condom in my wallet, but I keep that last part to myself.

  “Good,” she mumbles as she unclasps her bra and finishes pushing her jeans and panties down her legs. My mouth waters at the sight of her naked body. She’s a lawyer, who—per her own words—works an unbelievable number of hours, but her body looks like a model who consistently works out for a living.

  “Get naked and put the fucking condom on, Girard.”

  My eyes lock with hers again while she watches me with a smirk.

  “Yes, ma’am.” I push to my feet, grab my wallet and toss a condom on the cushion next to us before removing the rest of my clothing.

  Her eyes slowly move down my body and she lies down.

  “I’ve been thinking about this moment for months,” I confess as I grab the condom and slide it on. “I hope like hell you’re ready…because I’m not sure I can wait another second.”

  She nods a split second before I finally sink deep inside the woman who’s captivated my attention far longer than any other female has in years.

  We moan together as a moment that almost feels magical takes over my senses. “Oh damn, baby. You feel unbelievable.”

  I could close my eyes, force myself to get lost in the feel
ing of her body. I could make myself forget who I’m with and just enjoy the moment. But the second her blue eyes glaze over with desire and lock onto mine, I know I don’t want to—I refuse to miss anything she offers me. Watching her as I pump in and out feels more intoxicating than any drink I’ve been served, not to mention, there’s a deep underlying need to watch her—to know it’s my body, my cock that’s delivering her the pleasure she seems to be relishing in.

  “Don’t stop. God, don’t stop,” she begs as her pussy grips me even tighter.

  I pick up my pace, relentless at this point—refusing to stop. Her hands reach for her tits again as she screams, finally surrendering to the pleasure.

  “Fucking beautiful,” I pant as I finally allow myself to go. My thrusts become harder and deeper until finally I pump out my release.

  I slow until I ultimately still, ready to drop down onto her, where if I’m lucky, she’ll gift me the privilege of having her fantastic body again. Typically, it only takes me ten or twenty minutes to convince my dick to get hard again, but my gut tells me it won’t take that long with her.

  “I can’t believe I just had sex with you.” She pushes on my chest and attempts to get up.

  My voice hardens. “Why? Because I’m a football player or because I’m Chase’s friend?”

  She has been upfront about her feelings regarding Chase since I met her. I’m hoping with time, she’ll see what both Jordan and I already know, which is he’s an all-around, stand-up guy.

  “Both.” She blows out a frustrated breath.

  “I don’t understand what you hate about my job? It’s not like I’m a fucking pimp or a drug dealer. I play football for a living, and I happen to make pretty damn good money doing it.”

  “I’m sure you do, it’s just I swore off…arrogant, self-entitled men a long time ago.”

  I toss the condom in the trash. “Self-entitled?” I question as I grab my shirt and pull my jeans up my legs.

  “Oh, don’t pretend like you’re not. The second I met you, you thought I would know who you were by your name alone.” She rolls her eyes in a way I almost…almost find cute. “You probably require some strange ritual before every game. Like an energy drink, a fresh rabbit’s foot, and a topless woman telling you how awesome you are.” She meets my gaze with an evil grin and squinting eyes.