Taming Red Riding Hood

by Lidiya Foxglove

  Then he came up behind me; I watched his reflection approach.

  “I know it’s a lot to remember at first,” he said.

  “‘A lot’, aye, to say the bloody least. I’m not sure I can remember all that in a thousand years.”

  “An hour is quite a ways off from a thousand years,” he said. “You have a quick mind. If I can learn this, you can. I was young once.”

  I snorted. “And you’re so old now. You think I’m just a kid because I can’t read?”

  “I am an aging bachelor, at this point, and so I shall remain. You are…a young woman and I’m sure you will have many proper suitors,” he said.

  Well. That was a protest if I ever heard one. A tutor with wolvenfolk probably wasn’t supposed to be good enough for Douglas Rafferty’s daughter, no matter her own personal circumstances.

  “Mr. Arrowen, I bet right now you’re not really thinking about the alphabet.”

  He didn’t take the bait. “If you need a break, take a short walk and return. I’ll prepare a mathematics lesson,” he said.

  What was wrong with him? Wolves didn’t court and get married. Wolves acted on their instincts of attraction, and if he and I had met as wolves, we wouldn’t be dancing around.

  I rolled my eyes at the window, but I was quick to leave. I wrapped my cloak around me and walked the garden, glancing occasionally at the window to see if he was watching me.

  He wasn’t.

  The horrible lessons went on until lunch, at which time I met my other tutors for the music and dance lessons. Dance was the best of them. I wasn’t great at following instructions, but at least I could move my feet. The music was just as strange to me as letters or arithmetic, but it was also so beautiful that I kept forgetting to breathe.

  If I wasn’t getting my head stuffed with lessons, I was expected to learn how to be a proper girl by example. Sometimes Katherine had callers and sometimes she went calling herself, and either way, she wanted to introduce me and make me a part of town life. These strange ladies talked of town events, weather, distant wars, what the ships had brought in, and countless other things, often while knitting or embroidering. They treated me with kind, polite curiosity.

  I wanted to be free. All those years in the work house, I dreamed of being free. I still couldn’t have that. Father said I couldn’t go out without a chaperone, except in the garden, which was too small to do more than pace like a captive.

  Just like I used to do on the bare work house lawn.

  Patrick stopped by one afternoon to ask if I would like to take a walk. Apparently, that was how it went. Ladies waited for men to air them out.

  But he was handsome, and less complicated than Mr. Arrowen, I must say. He was less a wolf, more of a friendly hunting dog. He apologized for being sweaty. “I was practicing my archery,” he said. “I know, even in the snow.”

  “I don’t think it’s strange. I like being outside. I’m heartier than I look in these clothes,” I said.

  “Is it strange for you, getting used to town life?” he asked.

  “Aye, to say the least! The clothes are so impractical, but the food is very good and that makes up for a lot.”

  “It does. Have people been welcoming?”

  “Yes… I mean, mostly. Everyone’s been calling me ‘Little Red Hood’ or some variation. I think they don’t like my name. It’s a wolf name.”

  He bristled, one hand curling into a loose fist. “Who’s insulting you?”

  “Not insulting me.” I lightly touched his arm, grinning. Aye, that was the proper attitude for a man. “No need to beat anyone up on my behalf. They aren’t cruel. I’m actually surprised. I thought a girl of my kind would face more judgment.”

  “I think it’s cute,” he said. “Little Red Hood.”

  “Aye, but still…” I trailed off. No, it was no use complaining. “Never mind.”

  “You can talk to me,” he said.

  “Well…I shouldn’t say anything. I just feel like…an outsider. Katherine says something every time I make a misstep. ‘Fersa, dear…’ Sometimes I actually wish someone would take a real shot at me so I could fight back. Oh, that sounds ridiculous.”

  “Not at all. You’re a fighter, aren’t you?”

  “Mm…”

  “Fighters like the fight, don’t they? That’s how you get it all out of your head, in the end.”

  “That’s it. That’s exactly it.”

  I had never felt so confused. I wasn’t sure if I hated my new life, or if I was absolutely desperate to shape myself to fit…if I enjoyed taking walks with Patrick Rafferty, or chafed at the fact that I had to wait for him to take me out.

  “Still struggling with the reading?” Father asked at dinner. “You’ll get there. I can only imagine trying to teach your mother to read! She wasn’t patient with such things.”

  “Fersa definitely has some patience,” Katherine said. “You should have seen the little squirrel she embroidered the other day. It was so sweet with its long ears!”

  “I remember those sorts of squirrels,” Father said. “We don’t have them in Pennarick.”

  “I’m glad I have some useful talent. Mr. Benton tried to teach me to sing today,” I said. “But he says I howl.”

  The whole family laughed at that. “Mama, I can howl!” John cried; the youngest boy was definitely the kid who wanted all the attention. “Arooooo!”

  “Not at the table, dear.”

  But these perfectly human moments were nothing compared to the wild desire that haunted me at night. Nearly every morning, I woke up a wolf. I had to start sleeping in the nude so I wouldn’t damage my nightgown. Only the maid ever saw me, but it was only a matter of time before Katherine found out. I wondered what she would say. Maybe nothing, but I was still ashamed that I couldn’t control myself.

  On Friday morning after I had changed back into a girl and put on my nightgown, waiting for Ina to dress me for another tedious day, I heard the boys outside my door.

  “I dare you,” I heard Thomas whisper.

  “Mmm…”

  “You scared?”

  “No…”

  “You scared of wolves? She might turn into a wolf if we scare her.”

  “I’m not scared of wolves! I wouldn’t be scared if Fersa was a wolf!” That was John. “I wish she would turn into one.”

  “She’s just a normal girl,” Francis said. “Boring. She’ll be mad and Father will punish us for bothering her.”

  I paused at washing my face. Normal? Boring? I couldn’t stand that.

  I rushed to the door and flung it open, hunching down to their level. “Raaawr!”

  All three of them screamed and jumped back. Then they started laughing.

  “Did you hear us?” Thomas asked, clearly concerned.

  “Just a bit. Just that I’m boring. I’m not boring. This world is boring, did you ever think of that? How did you escape this morning?”

  Thomas laughed. “We got dressed quickly this morning so we could play.”

  “Play, huh?” I turned a cartwheel down the hall. This seemed like one moment where I could be myself, entertaining little boys before the daily schedule began.

  “Teach me to do that!” John gasped. “Can you turn into a wolf?”

  “That’s not proper!” Francis hissed. “She can’t do that!”

  I laughed. “Now that you’ve asked, I don’t know if I can help it. You just have to promise me one thing.”

  “What?” John asked, his eyes growing wide and excited. I hadn’t seen the boys light up like this all week. Usually they were neatly handling silverware and being reprimanded for being too boisterous. They only got to be really noisy in the afternoon when they got home from school and their nurse took them outside for a little while. That was usually during my music lesson and it always made me want to run outside with them.

  “One, that you won’t tell anyone. It’a a secret, all right?”

  They all nodded eagerly. “Yes, yes.”

  �
��And two, that when I go back into my room in wolf form, you’ll shut the door behind me so I can change into a girl again and get dressed.”

  They giggled. “Okay.”

  I dropped down, letting myself fall into an easy shift. It was the first time I’d changed on purpose, and it felt wonderful to allow my body to do what it wanted to do. I tried my best to shift out of my clothes, pulling my arms out of the sleeves just before the transformation overcame me, but I still felt the fabric rip a little around my chest. I backed out of my nightgown, shaking it off of my fur.

  The boys were gasping and clutching each other's hands. I ran a circle around them and licked John’s face, relishing my senses. I could smell and taste them acutely, and it gave me a better sense of them in ways I could not explain in human language. My wolf self had instincts that I could only grasp at as a girl.

  Now, I wanted to make them grin wider and never think of me as boring again. I nipped the collar of John's pajamas and tugged him toward my back.

  “I think she’s letting you have a ride!” Francis said.

  I stood still and let the smallest boy climb onto me, clutching my fur. I snorted. Hang on if you know what’s good for you. I ran down the hall. John let out a squeal of pure excitement, his arms tight around my neck. He started slipping off when I turned to run back. I tried to slow down but he fell off into a laughing mess of rumpled hair and clothes.

  “Can I? Am I too big?” Francis asked.

  Thomas was probably too big. I thought I could handle Francis. I let him clamber on, and I loped by John and clamped my teeth on the hem of his shirt, nudging him up.

  Wolves were never too old to play. Good for the soul, Mother said. Chasing and good-natured scuffling kept our instincts keen. My wolf self had almost forgotten where I was, and that role of polite, well-dressed girl I had been forced to play.

  That is, until I heard male voices approach quickly down the hall and my father’s voice call sharply, “Fersa!”

  I looked up. He was walking with Mr. Arrowen. He looked stunned. I froze in complete horror.

  Father ran toward us. “None of you are hurt, are you?”

  The spell had been broken. I rushed into my bedroom. No one closed the door, so I scurried under the bed and changed back there where no one could see me. “Close the door!” I barked. “Of course none of them are hurt! I was just playing!”

  Father shut the door.

  I was there among a few dust motes, breathing hard until I sneezed. My cheeks were burning. I was ashamed at being caught, annoyed that he would think I might hurt anyone, and—devastated. I should have known better. I had broken the rules.

  “Fersa,” Father said, tapping on the door now. “I know you wouldn’t hurt them on purpose. Wolves can get a little rough, that’s all.”

  I crawled out, my limbs a bit shaky, and struggled to stuff my head and arms in the right holes of the nightgown. I opened the door. “We were having fun,” I said. “It’s early. I thought it would be all right. Why is Mr. Arrowen here?”

  “I told him he could borrow some books,” Father said. “I have so many, but not much time for reading. He’s an interesting fellow. We just got to chatting a bit.” He shrugged and then put a heavy hand on my shoulder. “Boys, I think it’s past time you get to breakfast. Mr. Arrowen, you can wait in the library.”

  The boys were hesitant as they headed off down the hall. I think they were worried they’d gotten me into trouble. As well they should be… They sure had yelled enough. But in the end, it was my fault. I tried to smile at them before they were gone.

  Mr. Arrowen tipped his hat, but his eyes briefly bored into me before he walked away.

  “You see,” Father said, “I truly do understand—as well as a human can, I suppose—what you’re going through now. That’s what we were just talking about, actually, the vast difference between living with a wolf clan and living in a town like this. I’m not sure how I can make it easier for you. I could let you take things more slowly but what would that accomplish? I can’t return you to the woods, to your clan. I can’t bring your mother back… I would make it harder for you to be a part of things. I want to give you a home but I also have to make sure that the home I can offer will accept you as a part of it. I don’t have control over that.”

  “I don’t know the answer either. And this is so much better than the work house. I don’t want to seem an ungrateful wretch. It’s just, I’m not sure my brain’s made for letters and sums and sheets of music… Mr. Arrowen seems to think I’m talking myself into failure. Maybe. I did have to sit and behave at the work house, but I didn’t have to think.”

  Father smiled. “Maybe I’m trying too hard to protect you from ‘talk’. Nevertheless…do try. I’ve already had to clean up after myself. Still, I guess there’s no harm in letting you play with the boys.”

  “They thought I was boring.”

  “We don’t want that, do we?”

  “No.” I returned his smile, and I thought everything was all right. But at breakfast, Katherine was a little tense. Before I started my lessons, she said, “I heard what happened. I hope everything’s all right.”

  I never knew what to say. What did that even mean? I couldn’t read her. Humans said one thing when they meant another. “‘Course it is,” I said. “The boys wanted to see it, that’s all.”

  “Mm. I’m not sure we should encourage them to act like animals any more than they do… And your tutor saw you!”

  “Well, how was I supposed to know he’d come early? And I don’t think the boys act like animals. They seem more like angels to me.” I refrained from saying, far too much like angels.

  “As long as you’re in control.”

  Now I was starting to think she suspected what was happening to me in the mornings. Servants probably weren’t that good at keeping secrets. “I am,” I said. “You see me often enough. I’m in control all day long!” That was true. I was in control during the day. I could hardly help what happened as I dreamed.

  “Well, Mr. Arrowen did say you’ve been making progress with your reading and writing. He’s giving you an astronomy lesson this evening.”

  “Astronomy?”

  She paused. “I thought it was an unusual request. If he ever behaves inappropriately around you, tell me straightaway. He is your tutor, but nothing more.”

  My brow furrowed. “To tell you the truth, he’s quite a stick.”

  Katherine’s lips quirked. “Good. He should be.”

  Chapter Five

  Agnar

  A man—or a wolf who wants to live as a man does—has to make a living somehow. I should never have agreed to tutor a girl with sharp teeth and wild eyes, but I could hardly refuse the wage.

  I knew how to teach letters and numbers. But teaching a wolfkin girl how to be human was the last thing I should have been teaching. I knew how hard a thing it was to learn—and that, when I had wanted it. As far as I could tell, she didn’t want it much.

  Every day, she could hardly make it through an hour of instruction without fidgeting. She would abruptly get up and spring to the window if she saw a bird or falling snow. And when I tried to call her attention back to me and my lessons, I knew it was a losing battle. She would give me a withering look.

  “Come on, we need to stretch our legs, don’t we?”

  I had to clench my nails against my palm not to lose my mind. Watching her fluid movements, I could just imagine running in the forest, the wild smell of it—and her. My imagination ran to the same places hers did. I could see it in her eyes, a briefly shared dream. And with every day, that dream was growing more inappropriate.

  The dream was far too dangerous for me to pursue. And I could practically feel my intelligence bleeding out of my head. My cock didn’t care about letters. It throbbed in my trousers when she moved the right way, and I caught a good look at her breasts, or when she wet her lips with her tongue. It was bad enough to be around human girls, but they didn’t do this to me. The urge to mate, t
o have kits with this lovely young wolfkin girl, was crumbling away at the resolve I had built up over fifteen years.

  Quit. Quit now before you lose everything, the voice of sense prodded me.

  But I wasn’t going to quit. I already knew that. The moment I asked for more money, I had doomed myself, hadn’t I?

  “Sit down,” I said, trying to sound cool and commanding.

  “Oof. You’re impossible.” She finally slumped back into her seat but her eyes were still pointed toward the window.

  “Just a little more, Miss Fersa. You can manage this much.”

  “I’m falling asleeeeep.” She flopped her head onto the table and then straightened up again. “Ouch. These clothes pinch me when I slump!”

  “I think that’s the idea.”

  “Damnable torture chamber,” she muttered.

  “The lessons will be more interesting when you can read. We can move on to other subjects. Have you seen your father’s library? It’s a wealth of riches.”

  “I’ll never be able to read! It all looks like gibberish. I don’t even want to read. I’ve never needed it before and I’m fine. Plenty of people can’t read.”

  “People who can’t afford an education can’t read. Do you know what a gift it is, to be able to have an education?”

  She rolled her eyes. “No, but you’re going to tell me, I have a feeling.”

  I tapped a pencil against the table. I’d had hardheaded students before. Usually the younger children. Never…

  My eyes drifted to the perfect, round breasts that her dress so helpfully emphasized, partially shrouded by a thin scrap of cloth. One flick of my finger would tear that cloth away. I could only imagine the soft curves of the body underneath.

  I shut my eyes and kneaded the bridge of my nose, mentally naming the planets.

  I heard Fersa writing something now. The barest tip of her tongue poked out of her teeth as she carefully wrote C…A…

  “That’s better,” I said. “Very nice.”

  D, she wrote, with a little flourish.

  “Did I get it right? C-A-D, cad?”

  “Are you trying to send me a message?”