A Beach Wish

by Shelley Noble

“Possibly.”

  “It sounds stupid, but it was more of a reaction not to what they might do, but what Hannah would do. You heard her.”

  “Ah. We’ve been dealing with Hannah Gordon since before you were born. We lost her somewhere along the way. But we all live our lives in our own way.”

  “That would be fine if she just wasn’t so intent on destroying yours. And mine and Eli’s. And now she’s talking about trying to buy Kelly’s place just to get back at you. Because it isn’t just the land she wants, is it? Why does Hannah hate you so much? I vaguely remember her and Eve living at the commune when we first came. Eve used to babysit me and Andy. Hannah wasn’t so awful then, was she? Then one day they left, no one ever said why. I’m asking now. I never felt like it was my business before, but now I do, if Eli’s going to be caught in the middle.”

  Henry drew on his beer, then sat up to face David. “We don’t know. And that’s the honest truth. I’m not sure even Hannah knows why she is like she is. The reason got lost in history, years ago, but she just can’t seem to stop. She’s attached her own disappointments to Lee’s, and they’re so muddled up in it that it just grows and grows whether they nurture it or not. Slaves to their own disappointment. Sad, but not for us to change. And not for you to worry about.”

  “She’s vicious.”

  “David, you can’t stop Hannah Gordon from being herself. It’s a futile occupation.” Henry smiled and leaned back in the chaise. “Do you remember when you first came here?”

  “Yes, sort of. I remember being here. I don’t remember before then.”

  “You were just a tyke. Just turned four, and Andy was six. Your parents had had some rough times. They needed a refuge. They found it here. And they went on to do good things. Some people are like that.”

  “And some people aren’t,” David said.

  “And so the world goes. If you’re worried, you should go tell him so.”

  “I’m not worried. Not exactly.”

  “It’s best that truth come to light. . .”

  “Oh hell, don’t quote Shakespeare at me. I’m going.” David pushed himself out of the chair.

  Henry gave him a thumbs-up and took a swig of his beer.

  David didn’t normally hesitate talking to his nephew. They got along pretty well. But lately, everything around them seemed so volatile. They’d already had a couple of run-ins about Mel. David had nothing against the girl. He just didn’t want them doing something stupid just to prove they were in love.

  That thought stopped him halfway up the stairs.

  Maybe Eli’s silence was due to worry over the outcome of the exam, or disappointment because he hadn’t done as well as he’d wanted. He hadn’t come straight home to tell them. He’d parked David’s old station wagon in the yard and gone straight out. Probably to meet Mel.

  Had they met at Old Beach? Did they know he had tossed their “love nest.” Love nest? Hell, he was beginning to sound like Henry and Floret.

  Eli’s door was open. He was sitting at his desk in the dusky room, his desk lamp shining on his bent head.

  He was so engrossed in whatever he was studying that he didn’t hear David coming to the door.

  And David just stood in the doorway watching him, remembering.

  Eli reached for a soda at the edge of the desk, which put his face in profile, and David’s heart clenched a little.

  He was looking more and more like his father every day.

  David had always looked up to his big brother. Strong, confident, compassionate, adventurous. He traveled the world taking risks, reveled in it. Then one day he fell in love, settled down to have a family. Play it safe in the suburbs, he’d say a little ruefully. Then lost his life on the way home from the movies, some drunk driver . . .

  That it was ironic made it even harder to accept. David had thought he’d never get over his grief or the panic of suddenly finding himself guardian of a ten-year-old boy.

  Henry and Floret had taken them in, soothed them, given them time, kept them safe. Henry introduced the confused, angry young boy to the thing he loved most beside Floret. Science. And Eli had blossomed. David had learned to cope. Though even now he still had jolting-awake dreams, when the sheer weight of his responsibility sent his heart pounding.

  He needed his time away from that, not to shirk his responsibilities but to remind himself of the internal efficiency of nature.

  Zoe Bascombe had asked why there were no people in his photos. He’d taken plenty of Eli growing up, of their life with Henry and Floret at the commune. But that was recording family history for Eli when he was older, for the next generation of his family, for Henry and Floret and their life at the commune, the good times, when the remembered times grew fuzzy in their minds—and his.

  His professional photos were for his sanity, where he could lose himself in the consistency of it all—where even the irregularities made a pattern. Even when he couldn’t see it himself, he knew it was there. It might disrupt, disperse, disappear, even, but it merely became part of another pattern and continued on.

  He’d come back renewed, grounded, his mind clear. A kind of Zen cleansing of his existence. There were days, sometimes weeks when he hardly saw or spoke to another person.

  He didn’t really miss people, until he came back and realized he’d forgotten how to incorporate them into his life. He had the day-to-day stuff down pretty well, the guys at the diner, at the bar where the locals hung out, with Henry and Floret, with Eli.

  It had taken a long time for him to accept his role of caretaker of his nephew; he had no experience, no understanding. Eventually he’d learned to enjoy and love Eli, for himself, for both their selves, Eli’s and David’s.

  With Henry and Floret’s help of course. He couldn’t have done it without them. But it had left his own—what?—personal life? This was his personal life. His private life? Photography was his private life.

  His love life. He had none. He went on dates sometimes. Not often. It just seemed senseless. A good time, maybe sex, then what? He couldn’t commit to a relationship. Between work and Eli and keeping the commune afloat, he had his hands full.

  Now Eli would be leaving soon. He’d thought he was prepared. It was weird. He’d gone from clueless and frightened at suddenly having a kid to be responsible for, to trying to be a father while trying desperately not to replace Eli’s father. Now he was feeling like a father must, wanting to send Eli equipped into the world, and yet wanting to keep him close.

  With Eli gone, he really wouldn’t have a reason for sticking around. Henry and Floret could manage without him. They hardly seemed to notice when he was gone. Always welcomed him back like he’d just popped out to the grocery store.

  As for David, he didn’t think he could settle down to this life without the other. Hoped that when his time came, it would be out in the wild and not at the hands of a drunk driver as he was coming home from the movies.

  He intended to face life—and death—head-to-head.

  He knocked on the doorframe. “Busy?”

  “Just studying. What’s up?”

  David came into the bedroom. A teenager’s room. Dirty socks on the floor, a Nerf basketball hoop suctioned to the closet door. Magazines, books, an iPad lay on the lightweight quilt on Eli’s twin bed. It could be a bedroom anywhere in the country.

  “We didn’t get much of a chance to talk about your day at the exam.”

  Eli glanced over his shoulder. “Yeah, we did. It was fine.” He swiveled his chair around. “I met some cool people. The exam seemed fair. I think I did okay. We’ll just have to wait and see.”

  So it wasn’t that.

  “How’s Mel? I haven’t seen her much lately.”

  Eli shrugged. “You know.”

  No, he didn’t know.

  Eli turned back to his desk. It was a cue that he was finished with the conversation, but David wasn’t. If nothing else, he needed to confess his tossing of their stuff on the beach and why.

  “Li
sten. I was down at the beach, Old Beach. I’m tearing down the stairs, they’re rotten and dangerous. I found a bunch of stuff and threw it out. I mean . . .”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Hey, talk to me.”

  “About what?”

  “Whatever’s going on.”

  “I’m studying. I realized that I’m behind in several areas so I have to bone up to not look like a total jerkwad when, if, I get into the program. Henry got me into the Stanford library online.”

  “Good thinking. Everything else okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay. I’ll yell when dinner’s ready.”

  “Okay.”

  David got to the door.

  “Uncle David?”

  “What is it?”

  Eli shrugged.

  David came back into the room and sat on the bed. Eli sat down next to him.

  There was a long, drawn-out silence while David held still and waited for the worst.

  “Don’t get mad.”

  “I won’t.”

  “Mel’s grandfather caught us down on the beach Saturday night.”

  “What was he doing down there?” A stupid question—the kid was having a crisis and David was worried about some old man trespassing on the commune’s property.

  “He grabbed Mel. And yelled at us. Told me to get off his beach. It’s not his beach. It’s Floret’s and Henry’s.

  “Mel ran away. She’s afraid of him. Then he told me that if Mel got, you know, that nobody would help us. And he was going to tell Hannah all about us. I hate them both.”

  David glanced at the open door. “Yeah, I don’t blame you. I don’t really like them either, but try not to hate them for Henry’s and Floret’s sakes.”

  “Why don’t they stick up for themselves? I’m not going to let the Gordons tell me what to do.”

  David tried to think what Andy would say if he were alive. Even after all these years, David still sometimes felt he was struggling in uncharted waters.

  “What do you want to do?”

  Eli grasped his hands between his knees and looked at the floor. “I don’t know. I told Mel that we should cool it, until things die down.”

  David nodded.

  “You don’t think they’ll hurt her, do you?”

  “Of course not. This is really more about Hannah and her ‘issues’ than you and Mel. Hannah is overly loyal to her kin. She won’t hurt Mel, but she might hurt Henry and Floret.” Though David wasn’t so sure about Lee.

  “You think we should cool it.” Eli shrugged. “I know you do.”

  “I just want you to follow your dream.”

  “Oh God. That’s such a nerdy thing to say.”

  “Yeah, well, that’s me. The all-supreme and magnificent nerd.”

  Eli laughed, then his expression fell. “Mel’s afraid that when we go to college we won’t . . . you know. Stay together. She doesn’t want to go to college. I get it. There’s nothing she’s excited to learn. You know? Like, she’d just be going to get a general education.”

  “That’s how most people start.”

  “I guess, but it’s hard for her.”

  David nodded.

  “I think she wants me to stay here.”

  David sat up. “Instead of going to school?”

  Eli nodded.

  “But you still want to go, right?”

  “Yeah, but I don’t want to leave her here alone.”

  “She’s not exactly alone, and plus, she’s supposed to go to college, too.”

  “But she feels alone. And now with Lee and Hannah threatening Floret and Henry again . . .”

  “I don’t think this latest outburst has anything to do with you and Mel. I think it’s because of Zoe Bascombe.”

  “The lady who says she’s Eve’s sister?”

  “She is Eve’s sister.”

  “They should be glad to have more normal family.”

  “Yeah,” said David. “They should.”

  “What am I going to do?”

  “You’re going to catch up with your studies and leave the Gordons to me.”

  It was nine o’clock the next morning when Zoe’s cell phone rang. She was awake but she hadn’t ventured out of bed. She was pretty sure she was going to have a hangover.

  She and Chris had hit several music bars the night before. She’d never been able to keep up with Chris’s idea of fun. She vaguely remembered sitting in with a couple of the bands. In fact, she had written down e-mail addresses of several musicians on a napkin. She could see the napkin on the table across the room where her phone buzzed away.

  She eased back the covers. Slowly sat up. Blinked. Hmm. Not so bad. She stood up. Definitely a little pounding on the left side of her head. She padded across the room and picked up the phone.

  Chris.

  “Hello?”

  “Oh, man, don’t tell me I woke you up?”

  “No. But what are you doing up?”

  “Things to do, agents to see.”

  Now she knew she must have a hangover, because her stomach flip-flopped.

  “You got an audition?”

  “Maybe, but I got something better than that.”

  “A part?”

  “A callback for our niece.”

  “Huh?”

  “You know, Noelle interviewed last week in the city? Well, they called her back this morning, they want her to come in again.”

  “That’s great,” Zoe said.

  “And I thought, why don’t I drive her down? I can check in with my agent, show her the sights, and drive her back. If I can borrow your car. You aren’t using it, are you?”

  Zoe eased herself down into the closest chair. He was leaving? “My car? No. Sure, you’re welcome to take it. You’re coming back?”

  “Of course I’m coming back. Weren’t you listening? We’ll be back as soon as Noelle knows something.”

  “And if you get work?” She cringed, knowing how needy she sounded and not wanting to put pressure on her brother. “I’m just worried about my car.” She laughed, or at least meant to. She’d had every intention of doing this by herself. Had never considered doing it any other way. But she’d never been so glad to see Chris in her life, and now she didn’t want to lose him. She wouldn’t lose him, in spite of whatever happened. Would she?

  “I’m coming back for the ashes thing definitely. Anyway, you never just get a part, you know that. There will be callbacks, etcetera. I may have to do some running back and forth if something looks good. But I haven’t even heard of anything that sounds interesting. Still, it’s good to show your face.”

  He’d only been gone three days. But his show had closed several weeks before, she reminded herself.

  She pulled herself together. “That’s great about Noelle. When are you leaving?”

  “Not until after breakfast, if you can get your slugabed body downstairs in the next few minutes.”

  “I’ll hurry.” She stood, her hangover forgotten. “They won’t seat you until everyone in your party is there.”

  “Sure they will. I have an in with the owner.”

  “I’ll still hurry.” She hung up, jumped in the shower long enough to wet her hair, threw on some clothes, and hurried downstairs.

  Four hours later, Zoe, Eve, and Mel stood outside the inn saying good-bye to Chris and Noelle.

  “I know you’ll ace the interview,” Eve said.

  “Thanks,” Noelle said, and gave Eve a big hug.

  “And be sure to call Joyce Redfern while you’re there,” Zoe said. “She’s expecting you, and she heads a great graphics department and everybody says she’s a love to work for. Even if nothing comes of it, just knowing that someone else is interested in you might put some pressure on them at your interview.”

  “Thanks, I will. Thanks so much.”

  Zoe gave her a quick hug.

  “Drive carefully,” Eve said.

  “I will,” Chris said, and put Noelle’s suitcase in the back
seat of Zoe’s SUV. “Hey, I remembered this.” He dragged out Zoe’s old guitar.

  Zoe made a desperate face at him.

  He just grinned. “You may need this while you’re here.” He pushed it into her hands and kissed her cheek. “So wow them.”

  “I wouldn’t dare,” Zoe hissed back at him.

  “Don’t worry. You’ll do fine. Just enjoy your sister time. We’ll be back before you know it, Silly Dilly. Make sure she practices her chords.” Chris gave Eve a kiss, then said, “Oh what the hell,” and kissed Mel, too.

  He waved when he got into the driver’s side of the car. “Adieu and adieu and adieu.”

  “Me too,” said Noelle, and got in the car.

  Before she closed the door, Mel ran to her, gave her a hug. “Good luck, I know you can do it.”

  Noelle looked taken aback.

  “Ready when you are, CB,” Chris called.

  “I’m ready,” Noelle said, and closed the door.

  “They’ll be great together,” Zoe said.

  “Looks like it,” Eve agreed. “Well, just us girls. What shall we do?”

  “Don’t you have to do hotel things?” Zoe asked.

  “Always, but Tuesday is a slow day compared to the weekend. I can make time for my sister.”

  Eve smiled, but Zoe noticed that Mel didn’t. “What are you up to today?” Zoe asked her.

  Mel shrugged. Looked at her mom.

  “You can hang with Zoe and me, or you can take the day off. I think it’s time we had a little holiday. Who’s on the desk today?”

  “Carly.”

  “Great. We’ll stick close and I’ll keep my cell handy.”

  “I . . . I think I’ll go out for a while.”

  “Fine. Maybe we’ll all have dinner together later.”

  Mel hesitated. “I’ll see what’s going on.”

  “Sure. Let us know.”

  Her gaze slid past Zoe and Eve, and she hurried off.

  “I didn’t think our last summer together would be like this.”

  “Cutting those apron strings,” Zoe said. “I’m not sure I ever did. I think maybe it would have been better, but water under the bridge and all.”

  “I wish you’d tell her that.”

  They walked back into the hotel.

  Zoe lifted her guitar. “Let me get rid of this, before anyone sees me,” said Zoe. “Then maybe you could show me around the hotel. I’ve hardly had a chance to see any of the programs or anything.”