by Amira Rain
I was totally not prepared to be asked this question, even though I probably should have been. Stalling for time to think, I took a long drink of my iced tea, having no earthly clue what to say.
CHAPTER TEN
Ashley was not only my sister, she was my best friend, and I wanted to tell her everything. In fact, I couldn't remember a time when she'd been so in the dark about some pretty major happenings and dilemmas in my life. However, I knew I obviously couldn't tell her about my government-assigned task with Cameron and Elliot, and therefore, I couldn't tell her about my difficulty in making any progress in determining which one of them was working with the Angels, if either of them truly was. Cynthia had made it pretty clear that I wasn't to tell anyone anything.
At the same time, she hadn't said anything at all in regards to me having to keep it a secret from anyone that I was sleeping with Cameron and Elliot both. Despite this, I wasn't sure that I wanted to tell Ashley. I supposed just out of fear that she might somehow think differently of me, or just plain be stunned into silence, embarrassing me.
However, before I could respond to her question, before I could even think of what I was going to respond, Ashley spoke again. "Really, I should ask you if there's anything romantic going on with either of the men you're living with...or both. Whichever."
I was actually stunned into silence now. I hadn't said anything, at any time, to indicate that I was sleeping with both men, so I had no idea why or how Ashley had possibly guessed that I might be.
After a moment spent studying my face with her honey-brown eyes twinkling, Ashley laughed briefly. "Oh, come on...don't look so shocked that I think it's a possibility that you might be romantically involved with both men. After all, unusual things sometimes happen when a woman is living in a house with two attractive men, and from what I've heard around town here, the two Haverwood alphas are very attractive. I also know that it's been a while since you've had any kind of a romantic life, so I wouldn't blame you for getting back into things with both feet.
"Also...I've heard a few things around town here lately about non-traditional romantic-type relationships actually being kind of a big thing in Haverwood...which, honestly, I'd been wondering about, considering how the shifters far outnumber you Gifteds." With her eyes twinkling again, Ashley paused. "At the grocery store yesterday, Mary ran into a young woman from Haverwood who said she was buying picnic supplies for an outing with her boyfriends. Boyfriends, plural."
Ashley had been kind of leaning over the table with her arms folded, and now she straightened up and sat back in her chair. "I hope you remember that we are sisters, Jayme, and I'm pretty hard to shock. And you know I've always had a 'live and let live' attitude when it comes to what kind of relationships other adults want to have." She fell silent, and I knew I had to tell her the truth, even though my face was flaming, despite the reassuring things she'd said.
"Yes...I'm 'romantically involved' with the two alphas I'm living with, Cameron and Elliot. Although...." I paused, struggling to maintain eye contact with Ashley. "Maybe just plain 'sexually involved' might be a truer way to put things, to be perfectly honest."
Ashley gave me a little smile. "Hey...nothing wrong with that if you're enjoying yourself. It had been a really long time for you. But do you want things to turn a little more romantic...maybe eventually?"
Now we were really getting into tricky territory. The answer to her question was possibly yes, though only once I learned which of the two men was the traitor. But of course, I couldn't tell Ashley that.
So, I just shrugged. "Maybe someday I'll want things to move in a direction that isn't just physical...but I guess right now I'm just enjoying it all. I'm sort of...well, I guess I'm maybe trying to guard my heart in a way, until I know where I stand with both men."
Ashley moved her head in a fraction of a nod. "I see. So, maybe you want one or both of them to start moving things in a more romantic, committed direction first, so that way, you know you won't get hurt."
Uncomfortable because of not being able to tell her everything, I really wanted this conversation to end.
I responded to what she'd said with my gaze on the table. "Something like that."
Just then, Kenna came tearing in through the sliding glass doors adjacent to the kitchen, shrieking something about how Sunny was "leaping up as high as butterflies" and she wanted us to see it.
Ashley and I weren't alone again for the rest of the visit, which I guiltily felt glad about, so that I wouldn't have to answer any more uncomfortable questions.
On the way back to Haverwood, Dana seemed kind lost in thought, just driving quietly with a possibly-tense look on her face. After a little while, I asked her if anything was wrong, and she sighed.
"Oh, it's probably nothing. I guess I'm just a little annoyed and confused."
"Why? What's going on?"
"Well...before we left the house, I got a text from Jason saying that he's not going to be able to make it home for a special dinner I planned for him and Brent tonight...says he probably won't be home until very late, because he has 'some things to do.'"
"And he didn't elaborate about what those 'things' are, specifically?"
"No...and this isn't the first time recently he's blown me off because of having 'some things to do.' Honestly, I've barely seen him at all this past week. It's like he's consciously trying to pull away from me, but I don't know why."
"Well, do you think it's possible that he might just have some extra surveillance or patrol work to do for Cameron and Elliot or something? They have been asking a lot of their elite pack members lately."
"Well, yeah, but that's the thing. Brent is one of their most trusted elite pack members, too, and he hasn't been blowing me off. Just Jason has been."
"Well, then...do you think it's possible that he's become unhappy with the arrangement of sharing you with Brent? Like maybe he now wants you all to himself or something, and he hasn't wanted to spend a lot of time with you lately because it's just frustrating to him or something?"
With her gaze on the stretch of road ahead, Dana sighed with clear sadness in her pale blue eyes. "Maybe. It seems like he'd just come right out and tell me that, though. It seems more likely that maybe he's just done with me, which breaks my heart, because I truly love him. Sometimes I feel like I love him more than Brent...and really, I shouldn't say sometimes, because honestly, I feel that way often. I feel like if I had to pick just one of my boyfriends to spend the rest of my life with, I'd definitely want it to be Jason. It's becoming really clear, though, that he probably doesn't want to spend the rest of his life with me."
Sad for her, I really didn't know what to say, and she suddenly turned the radio on anyway.
"Let's listen to some music. I'm just winding myself up with anxiety, and maybe for nothing. Maybe Jason's simply working on some secret surveillance project against the Angels, and he just doesn't want to explain to me yet or something."
I agreed that that might be possible, though I didn't really think it was probable. I was, however, beginning to think that something else might be probable. I was having thoughts that Jason might be the one working with the Angels. Or at the very least, with all his secret absences, maybe he was working with the alpha that was. The only problem with that theory was that neither Cameron nor Elliot had had any unexplained or unexpected absences lately; in fact, I'd been wanting them to so that I could talk to one without the other around. I didn't know it, but I was soon to get my wish.
Late that evening, after Cameron, Elliot, and I had enjoyed a marathon session in the bedroom, Cameron showered, emerged from my bathroom in a towel, and crouched down beside the bed before speaking to me in a low voice. "I'm going to go grab some clothes in my room and then head out. I have some things to do. Have a good night."
He pressed a quick kiss against my mouth, already beginning to stand, but I grabbed his arm to stop him.
"Wait. What do you mean you have 'some things to do'?"
It wasn't l
ost on me that that was the exact same line that Jason had been giving Dana.
With his expression barely visible to me in the dimly lit room, which was illuminated only with light coming in from the hallway, Cameron frowned. "I just have to check on our northern guard...have to make sure they have enough men in place."
"Well, didn't you and Elliot make sure of that before you came home for dinner?"
Elliot obviously wasn't concerned about the northern guard. He was asleep on the other side of the bed, quietly snoring.
Gently, Cameron removed my hand from his arm. "I have a lot more on my plate than you might think, Jayme. I just have some things to do. Have a good night."
With that, he rose and left the bedroom, leaving me to stew in suspicion, thinking that maybe he and Jason were both working with the Angels. I didn't want to believe it, though. Although I'd been trying to keep my heart guarded, allowing myself to only feel affection for Cameron and Elliot and not outright love, I couldn't deny that I'd maybe begun to feel just a fraction more affection for Cameron than Elliot, despite the fact that Cameron said about one word to me for Elliot's every ten. Cameron had his flashes of warmth for me, sure, and occasionally we even got to teasing each other, the way we had the first night we'd met. But on the whole, he seemed to be somehow keeping himself closed off from me in a way that I didn't feel like Elliot was.
In my darkened bedroom, I remained awake after hearing Cameron's footsteps going down the hall after he'd dressed. Though I'd been tired before he'd spoken to me, now I felt so anxious and wired I wasn't sure how I was ever going to get to sleep. I almost felt like I had enough information to call Cynthia with and tell her my suspicions about Cameron and Jason, but I just didn't want to yet. I felt in my gut that I still needed to give things more time. Maybe Jason and Jason alone was the traitor, and maybe the government had just mistakenly thought it was one of the alphas. And maybe Cameron somehow knew this and was out doing surveillance on Jason or something.
I could hope. I really didn't want Cameron to be the traitor. I didn't want Elliot to be, either. Also, for Dana's sake, I didn't want it to be Jason. I wished that somehow, it would all just turn out to be a huge mistake on the government's part.
When I'd been silently staring at the darkened wall opposite me for a few minutes, Elliot began stirring behind me, then got up, went into the bathroom for a minute, and returned to bed.
Probably having seen my open eyes glinting in the dim light, he put an arm around me and pulled me close.
"You still awake, Jayme? And why do I feel like we have a lot more room than usual in this bed? Where's Cameron?"
I rolled over to face Elliot, not sure how much I should say. Cynthia had made it clear that I wasn't to share my suspicions with either Cameron or Elliot, even if I felt like I was becoming sure which of them was the traitor. "Cameron went to go check on a few things...said he wanted to make sure there are enough northern guard wolves posted or something."
Elliot didn't respond right away. "Something's up with him lately. Him and Jason both, and a few others."
I chose my next words carefully, not wanting Elliot to suspect that I also had suspicions that something was up. "Well, what do you mean by that?"
Again, Elliot didn't respond right away. "I don't know. I probably shouldn't have even said that. Our northern guard has been stretched thin lately, what with us having to also post additional guards to the west of the village after the most recent attack...I'm sure Cam's just trying to make sure all our bases are covered. Maybe I should take a lesson from him."
I said nothing, now conflicted in my suspicion about Cameron, because of what Elliot had said about the northern guard being stretched thin, meaning that maybe Cameron was really justified in making a trip out there to check on them. I hadn't known that some of the wolves who usually were posted to the north had had to be moved to the west.
After yawning into his shoulder, Elliot pulled me even tighter against his hard chest. "Whatever Cameron's doing, let's just enjoy our time alone together. We don't get nearly enough of it."
"That's true...and whenever the three of us are together, you and Cameron don't seem to want to talk to me about anything personal, like you're not very comfortable with each other or something."
Elliot made a noise between a sigh and a chuckle. "Well...yeah. That's probably accurate. I don't think either one of us is crazy about the arrangement of the two of us sharing power. I don't have anything against Cameron, though...I think he's tried to make the best out of a situation that neither of us wanted, just like I have. We both arrived here in Haverwood as the result of a mistake, each thinking that we'd be alpha, but then soon the government informed us that they thought the new community needed two alphas anyway, so what could we do. Nothing. I resigned to just live with things, because really, I'm not that much of a power-hungry sort of man...that's just not me. I'd prefer to be the only alpha, but things didn't work out that way, did they? So, you just move forward. And I'm sure Cameron feels the same way. Although...."
I waited a second, but it didn't seem like Elliot was going to finish his thought, and I lifted my face to try to look at his own. "'Although' what, Elliot?"
He sighed faintly. "I don't know. I guess I just can't shake some funny, vague feeling that Cameron is up to something, or there's something he's hiding from me. he really is kind of a closed-off man sometimes, isn't he?"
I moved my head in a slight nod, unable to deny it.
Lazily running a hand along my back, Elliot continued. "Anyway...we're supposed to be enjoying our time alone together, and I want to tell you something personal."
Intrigued, I told him to go ahead. "You can tell me anything."
"Well...I guess I just want to tell you that I think I'm falling in love with you. I haven't wanted to say it when Cameron is around, but...it's true. I think you're beautiful, smart, and charming...everything I've ever wanted in a woman...not to mention that the passion we share is nothing short of incredible. It's also deeply touched my heart to see how much you care about your fellow Gifteds...and Sunny, too. You're obviously a woman with a lot of love to give, and I can only hope to be on the receiving end of it someday."
He fell silent, obviously awaiting a response, but I didn't know what to say. I definitely couldn't say that I'd consciously been guarding my heart while trying to determine if he was a traitor, or Cameron was.
However, seeming to sense my hesitation, Elliot spoke again before I could formulate some kind of a response. "You don't have to answer to what I said right now. I know sharing a bed with two men, your emotions are maybe somewhat conflicted, and that's understandable and fine. I just wanted to let you know that I'm falling in love with you, Jayme. That, and that I could see us having some kind of a future together someday. That's all. If you ever grow to feel the same way about me."
Right then, I could see myself growing to feel the same way about him, once I was absolutely certain that it was Cameron, and not him, that was working with the Angels. In fact, I knew that if I just stopped fighting things and let down my guard, I'd be able to tell him that I was falling in love with him, too.
I knew I couldn't, though. Not right then. And not least of all because Elliot's phone had started going off.
Groaning, he released me from his arms and rolled over to get it from the nightstand on his side of the bed. "Sorry, just one second."
Wondering who it could be and what they could be calling about this late, I sat up, joining Elliot, who was doing the same. He answered the call, listened briefly, and then just said okay before ending the call and turning his face to look at me in the dim light. "That was Brent. A group of Angels and wolves broke past the northern guard while Cameron was rearranging everyone to his liking. They're heading straight for the village right now."
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Determined that my newly-strengthened group of Gifteds should be a part of the village's defense, right away I started typing out a text I was going to send to all
Gifteds, telling them what was going on and saying that those of them that were ready to fight should meet in the lane in front of my house. Beside the bed, Elliot threw on his clothes and boots, then the second he was dressed, he gave me a lightning-fast kiss, telling me to be careful, and took off. I finished typing out my text, sent it to all Gifteds, and then leaped out of bed to get dressed myself.
Just a few minutes later, I was standing out in the lane with Dana, Sarah, and a few other Gifteds. Dana said that more were probably still coming, but just hadn't finished throwing on clothes yet. Also, some of the Gifteds who lived further down the lane had a greater distance to run.
Hearing howling in the distance, I said that we may not be able to wait for everyone else. "I think we should head north, beyond the houses, and try to stop the Angels and the red-eyes from entering the village in the first place."
Dana and Sarah agreed, and I quickly sent another mass text to all Gifteds, saying what the plan was, which was that Dana, Sarah, and I were going to head north, and everyone else was to stay behind in the lane, getting into their fighting formations on the chance that the red-eyes did get into the village. At practice, I'd designated different fighting groups that would fight in a tight cluster together, so as to help each other and balance out each other's shortcomings.
Once I'd sent the text, I told Dana and Sarah that we'd better get moving. "Let's run, actually."
We ran north, past the village's "downtown" and all the rest of the houses, and into woodland that began at the end of the lane. And that was when things got a bit difficult. Being that there was only a sliver of a moon, which the trees blocked anyway, it was nearly impossible to see anything. We went from running at a good clip to slow jogging, and then to even slower jogging, picking our way around tall trees and across the partly-grassy, partly-stony ground.
