Captain Pantoja and the Special Service

by Mario Vargas Llosa

  cc: Command of Region V (Amazon)

  Capt. (Quartermaster) Pantaleón Pantoja, PA, Chief of the Special Service for Garrisons, Frontier and Related Installations (SSGFRI)

  Report of Second Lt. Alberto Santana, PA, to the Command

  of Region V (Amazon) on the pilot operation carried out

  by the SSGFRI in the Horcones Post, under his command

  In accordance with his received instructions, Second Lt. Alberto Santana has the honor of remitting to the Command of Region V (Amazon) the following report on events that have occurred in the post under his command on the Napo River:

  As soon as informed by his superiors that the Horcones Post had been selected as the site for the initial experiment of the Special Service for Garrisons, Frontier and Related Installations, he prepared to put all facilities at the disposal of the operation for its success and radioed Capt. Pantaleón Pantoja to inquire what arrangements should be made in Horcones prior to the pilot project. To which Capt. Pantoja responded by informing him that none was needed because he personally would be transferred to the Napo River to supervise the preparations and the progress of the test.

  In fact, on the day of 12 September at approximately 1030 hours, a green hydroplane with the name Delilah painted in red letters on the fuselage, piloted by an individual nicknamed “Crazy,” landed on the Napo River, carrying as passengers Capt. Pantoja, dressed as a civilian, and a woman named Chuchupe, whom it was necessary to carry off the plane because she had fainted. The reason for her light-headedness was that she had been greatly frightened during the flight from the Itaya River to the Napo River, due to the plane’s shaking in the wind and to the pilot, who, according to the assertion of the aforementioned, had performed continual risky and pointless acrobatics, intending to amuse himself by increasing her terror, which her nerves could not withstand. Once the said woman had recovered, she attempted to assault the pilot with words and crude gestures, and it was necessary for Capt. Pantoja to intervene in order to put an end to the incident.

  With their nerves calmed down after a quick snack, Capt. Pantoja and his collaborator proceeded to put everything in order for accomplishing the experiment, which was to be observed on the following day, Tuesday, 13 September. The preparations were of two sorts: participational and topographical. In regard to the first, Capt. Pantoja, assisted by the undersigned, established a list of users by asking the twenty-two noncommissioned officers and soldiers of the post one by one—the subofficer was excluded—if they wanted to take advantage of the Special Service, explaining to them for the purposes of this questioning the nature of same. The troops’ first reaction was one of incredulity and distrust, and all answered by refusing to participate in the experiment, thinking it had to do with a ruse, as when they are asked for “Volunteers to go to Iquitos” and the ones who step forward are ordered to clean latrines. It was necessary for the aforementioned Chuchupe to appear and speak to the men in gross language so that their suspicion and doubt could be displaced, first by a great hilarity and then by an excitement of such magnitude that it was necessary for the subofficers and the undersigned to act with maximum energy in order to calm them down. Out of twenty-two noncommissioned officers and soldiers, twenty-one registered as candidate-users, the exception being Pvt. Segundo Pachas, who indicated that he was exempting himself because the operation would take place on Tuesday the 13th and that, being superstitious, he was sure it would bring him bad luck if he participated in it. According to the indication of the male nurse of Horcones, Corp. Urondino Chicote was likewise eliminated from the list of candidate-users because he was afflicted with an eruption of mange, capable of being spread via the respective female recruit to the rest of the unit. Which left a definitively established list of twenty users, who, when consulted, agreed that the fixed price should be deducted from their pay check by the SSGFRI as repayment for the service being offered them.

  In regard to the topographical preparations, they consisted basically of preparing four locations assigned to the specialists of the first convoy of the SSGFRI, and these preparations were carried out under the exclusive direction of the so-called Chuchupe. She pointed out that since rain was possible, the sites should have roofs and preferably not be contiguous, in order to avoid auditory interference or emulation, a request that, unfortunately, could not be fully satisfied. Having inspected the roofed installations of the post, which, as the command knows, are few, the provisions storehouse, the radio post and the infirmary were selected as the most suitable locations. Due to its size, the provisions storehouse could be divided into two compartments, using boxes of foodstuffs as a dividing wall. The aforementioned Chuchupe then requested that a bed with its own straw or rubber mattress be placed in each location; or, in its absence, a hammock, with a waterproof oilcloth in order to avoid seepage and the deterioration of the material. They immediately proceeded to transfer four beds (chosen at random) along with their mattresses from the troops’ barracks to said locations, but because it was not possible to obtain the requested sheets of oilcloth, tarpaulins used to cover machinery and armaments when it rains were substituted. At the same time, once the mattresses were covered with tarpaulins, mosquito netting was installed so that the insects so abundant at this time of year would not interfere with the utilization activities. It being impossible to provide each location with the chamber pot that Corps Leader Chuchupe requested—since the post did not have even one of said artifacts at its disposal—four feed buckets were provided. There was no difficulty in installing in each location washbasins with their respective buckets of water, nor in providing each site with a chair, a chest or bench on which to place clothes, and two rolls of toilet paper. Seeing how wasteful our female recruits are with this last item—there not being in such an isolated area anything like newspaper or wrapping paper to substitute for it—and how there are case histories of hives and skin irritations among the troops because they have used leaves from trees, the undersigned begs his superiors to be kind enough to order headquarters to replace said items as quickly as possible. The so-called Chuchupe specified at the same time that it was indispensable to hang curtains in the locations that, without leaving them in total darkness, would soften the sunlight and create a certain dimness, which, in her experience, is the most suitable atmosphere for rendering service. The impossibility of obtaining the flowered curtains that Corps Leader Chuchupe suggested was no impediment: First Sgt. Esteban Sandora ingeniously devised a series of curtains from the troops’ blankets and greatcoats, which served the purpose rather well, leaving the locations in the necessary half light. Also, in the event that night should fall before the operation was completed, Corps Leader Chuchupe had the light bulbs in the locations covered with pieces of red cloth, because she insisted that the red glow was the most suitable for servicing. Finally, the aforementioned Corps Leader, maintaining that the sites should have a certain feminine touch, proceeded on her own to make little bouquets of flowers, leaves and wild stalks, which she gathered with the aid of two recruits and placed artistically on the headboards of the beds in each location. With which the preparations were concluded and all that remained was to wait for the convoy’s arrival.

  On the following day, Tuesday, 13 September, at 1415 hours, the first convoy of the SSGFRI anchored broadside on the dock of the Horcones Post. When the transport ship—recently painted green with its name, Eve, inscribed in large red letters on the prow—was barely visible, the troops halted their daily tasks, broke out in shouts of enthusiasm and tossed their hats into the air as a sign of welcome. Following Capt. Pantoja’s instructions, a guard patrol was immediately set up to prevent any civilian element from approaching the post during the pilot experiment—really a quite unlikely danger if you keep in mind that the closest town to Horcones is a Quechua Indian village two days upstream on the Napo River. Thanks to the determined collaboration of the female recruits, the disembarking took place with complete regularity. The transport ship Eve was commanded by Carlos Rodríguez Sar
avia (Subofficer in the Marines, camouflaged as a civilian), with a crew of four men, who, under Capt. Pantoja’s orders, remained on board during the entire stay of the Eve in Horcones. Two of Capt. Pantoja’s civilian collaborators presided over the convoy: Porfirio Wong and an individual with the nickname of Freckle. In regard to the four female recruits, whose appearance on the gang-plank was greeted with rounds of applause from the troops, they answered to the following names (the four refused to divulge their surnames): Lalita, Iris, Knockers and Sandra. The four were immediately gathered together by the so-called Freckle and Chuchupe in the provisions storehouse in order to rest and receive instruction, while the aforementioned Porfirio Wong stood guard at the door. Keeping in mind the restlessness that their presence provoked in the men of the post, it turned out to be useful to keep the women quartered until the hour fixed for the start of the operation (1700 hours), but it caused a little difficulty within the SSGFRI. Because, after having spent some time recuperating from the fatigue of the journey, the female recruits named above tried to leave the location, alleging that they wanted to get to know the surroundings and stroll around the post. Not being permitted to do so by those in command, they protested loudly with shouts and obscenities and they even attempted to force their way out. In order to keep them secluded, it was necessary for Capt. Pantoja to enter into the provisions storehouse. By way of anecdote, it can be mentioned that soon after the convoy’s arrival, Pvt. Segundo Pachas requested to be included among the users, indicating that he was prepared to challenge his bad luck, but he was refused because the list had been drawn up definitively.

  At 1655 hours Capt. Pantoja ordered the women to occupy their respective positions, which had been chosen by lot thusly: provisions storehouse, Lalita and Knockers; radio post, Sandra; infirmary, Iris. As supervisors, Capt. Pantoja himself was placed at the door of the provisions storehouse, the undersigned in front of the radio post and Subofficer Marcos Maravilla Ramos in front of the infirmary, each with his own stopwatch. At exactly 1700 hours, that is to say, when the troops had hardly finished their duties and chores (with the exception of guard duty), the twenty users were ordered into formation and asked to indicate the woman of their choice, thus engendering the first serious difficulty, due to the fact that eighteen of the twenty resolutely indicated their preference for the so-called Knockers and the remaining two for Iris, which left the other two women without candidate-users. In consulting on what decision to take, Capt. Pantoja suggested and the undersigned put into operation the following solution: the five men with the best conduct record for the month, according to service files, were directed to the location of the requested Knockers and the five with the highest number of punishments and reprimands to that of the one named Sandra because she has the most disfigured appearance of the four women (abundant smallpox scars). The others were divided into two groups and directed, by drawing lots, to the respective positions of Iris and Lalita. Once the four groups of five men were formed, it was briefly explained to them that they would not be able to exceed a maximum stay of twenty-five minutes in the location—top time for a normal service according to the regulations of the SSGFRI—and those who waited were ordered to maintain maximum silence and composure in order not to bother their companions in action. The second serious difficulty arose at that moment, since every man fought to be at the head of his respective group in order to be the first to obtain each specialist’s services, and this led to shoving and verbal altercations. Once again, it was necessary to impose order and resort to the system of drawing lots to arrange a pecking order in the lines, all of which meant a delay of some fifteen minutes.

  At 1715 hours the command to begin was given. It is fitting to state beforehand that, as a whole, the pilot operation was carried out with complete success, more or less within the predicted time periods and with a minimum of mishaps. In regard to the visiting time with a specialist permitted to each user (which Capt. Pantoja had feared would be too short for a satisfactory and complete servicing), it turned out to be excessive. For example, these are the times employed by the five users of Sandra’s group, which the undersigned timed: the first, 8 minutes; the second, 12; the third, 16; the fourth, 10; and the fifth, who set the record, 3 minutes. The men in the other groups registered similar times. In any case, Capt. Pantoja noted that these scores were only relatively valid as a general indication since, due to the isolation of Horcones and to the men’s having been quartered here for such long periods (six months for some), they tend to be abnormally fast in being serviced. Taking into account that between one servicing and the next there was a waiting period of some minutes, so that the aforementioned Freckle and Chuchupe could change the water in the containers at each location, it can be concluded that the operation lasted less than two hours from start to finish. Certain incidents arose in the course of the pilot project, but none of a serious nature, some even being amusing and useful in somewhat relaxing the nervous tension of the men who were waiting on line. Thus, for example, due to the carelessness of the post’s radio operator, who tunes in daily to Radio Amazon of Iquitos to listen to the program The Voice of Sinchi, which we play over the loudspeaker at 1800 hours, the speaker’s voice tempestuously broke out over Horcones because the transmitter was on automatic, provoking boisterous laughter and cheerfulness from the men, most of all when they saw the specialist Sandra and First Sgt. Esteban Sandora appear in their underwear, having been very alarmed when the noise broke forth since she was servicing him in the radio post. Another brief incident arose when, making the most of the fact that Knockers and Lalita were operating in neighboring rooms of the provisions storehouse, Pvt. Amelio Sifuentes, in the latter’s line of users, maliciously attempted to enter the location of the so-called Knockers, who, as the command will have perceived, was the one who conquered the most affection among the men of Horcones. Capt. Pantoja caught Sifuentes off guard in his rash attempt and severely reprimanded him. In the same provisions storehouse another mishap occurred, which was only discovered by the undersigned after the SSGFRI convoy had departed. During the time devoted to the servicing—or sometime before it—while the women were gathered there, someone took advantage of the situation to open a case of food and take out seven cans of tuna, four boxes of water biscuits and two sodas, without our yet having been able to identify the guilty party or parties. To summarize: with only the exception of these minor incidents, the operation had ended by 1900 hours with complete success and there reigned in the post a feeling of great satisfaction, peace and happiness among the noncommissioned officers and soldiers. The undersigned neglected to indicate that after being serviced, various users inquired whether it was possible to line up again (in the same or in a different line) to receive a second service. The request was refused by Capt. Pantoja, who explained that the possibility of authorizing a repeat service would be studied when the SSGFRI has reached maximum operational volume.

  With the pilot project scarcely finished, the four specialists and their civilian collaborators, Freckle, Chuchupe and Porfirio Wong, embarked on the Eve to return to the logistics center on the Itaya River, while Capt. Pantoja left on the Delilah. No matter how much the pilot assured the so-called Chuchupe that he would fly the apparatus the way it should be flown and that the incidents of the previous day would not be repeated, she refused to return by plane. Before leaving Horcones, amidst the clapping and the grateful gestures of the noncommissioned officers and soldiers, Capt. Pantoja thanked the undersigned for the facilities put at the disposal of the SSGFRI and for his contribution to its success. Capt. Pantoja indicated to him that this very profitable experience had allowed him to perfect and to outline in complete detail the system of work, control and transfer of the Special Service.

  Along with this report, which hopefully will be useful, it only remains to submit for the consideration of the command the request signed by the four lower officers of the Horcones Post that the intermediate command be allowed to be users of the SSGFRI. Due to the good psychological an
d physical effect that the experience is proving to have had on the noncommissioned officers and soldiers, this petition carries the favorable recommendation of the undersigned.

  God bless you.

  [Signed]

  SECOND LT. ALBERTO SANTANA, PA

  Chief, Horcones Post (Napo River)

  16 September 1956

  Department of Administration,

  Supply and Logistics of the Army

  Accounting and Finance Section

  Confidential Ruling No. 069

  The chief officers of the Quartermaster Unit or the subordinate officers placed in charge of said function in the districts, encampments and posts of Military Region V (Amazon) are authorized as of today, 14 September 1956, to deduct from the payrolls of the soldiers’ allowances and the noncommissioned officers’ wages the remuneration corresponding to the services rendered them by the Special Service for Garrisons, Frontier and Related Installations (SSGFRI). Said deductions must strictly adhere to the following regulations:

  1. The rates per service, fixed by the SSGFRI with the approval of its commanding officers, will be of only two types, in all cases and circumstances, namely:

  Soldiers: twenty (20) soles per service

  Noncommissioned officers (beginning with first sergeant): thirty (30) soles per service

  2. The maximum number of permissible monthly services will be eight (8), with no minimum number indicated.

  3. The deducted sum will be directed by the commanding officer or the subordinate officer in charge to the SSGFRI, the organization that will remunerate the specialists on a monthly basis in accordance with the number of services they will have performed.

  4. For the verification and control of the system, the following procedure will be followed: The commanding officer or the subordinate officer in charge will receive with this Ruling an appropriate number of cardboard coupons of two types, each in one of the symbolic colors of the SSGFRI and with no written markings. Those in red are designated for the soldiers and consequently each will be worth twenty (20) soles, and those in green for the noncommissioned officers and therefore each will represent thirty (30) soles. On the first day of each month there will be distributed to each noncommissioned officer and soldier of the unit the number of coupons equal to the maximum number of services to which he is entitled, which is to say eight (8). A coupon will be given to the specialist by the user each time he has benefit of service. On the last day of the month the noncommissioned officer or soldier will return the unused coupons to the command, which will at that time make the deduction corresponding to the number of coupons not returned (in case of misplacement or loss of coupons, damages will be indemnified by the specialist, not by the SSGFRI.)