Wings of the Morning

by Beryl Matthews

  ‘This wasn’t a good idea!’ He turned and walked out of the room.

  Annie’s mind was racing – what had she done? She’d never seen him so disturbed; he was such a quiet, controlled man. She ran after him and caught him up just as he stepped out into the fresh air. ‘Jack?’

  ‘I’ll take you back to camp,’ was all he said.

  Now she was getting cross. ‘Not until you’ve explained!’

  ‘I’m sorry. I thought we could just be friends,’ he grimaced, ‘but I was wrong. Being close to you and not being able to make love to you is agony.’

  Annie saw his jaw clench in frustration and understood, for she felt the same, but this relationship couldn’t be anything but a friendship. And if that was all she could have from him then she didn’t want to let it go. ‘We won’t come dancing again but we can still see each other, can’t we? Still go for walks?’

  ‘Do you think that’s a good idea?’ He looked angry. ‘If I can’t control what I feel for you, will you sleep with me?’

  ‘Oh, Jack.’ She was dismayed by this conversation; how she wished she could say yes. ‘If you were free … but you’re married, Jack.’

  ‘Exactly! And you’re not the kind of girl who could ignore that.’ He ran the back of his hand down her cheek in a gentle gesture. ‘I really am sorry.’

  She caught hold of his hand and held on firmly. The thought of losing him was upsetting, and she wondered how on earth she’d become so attached to a man after only meeting him about three times. ‘Let’s try and be friends, please.’

  Jack sighed and gazed into space for a moment with a deep frown on his face, and then he looked back with a smile. ‘OK, Annie, we’ll see how it goes, shall we?’

  Over the next couple of weeks they spent every spare moment together, and he behaved like the perfect gentleman. It was as if the incident at the dance had never happened; he was back in complete control of himself again. Yet Annie’s feelings were in turmoil. The more time she spent with Jack the more she liked him – or was it love? He was a quietly spoken man, but there was a strength about him that was obvious to her. They had much in common, the same music, a love of the countryside whatever the season, and their outlook on life seemed to dovetail without any seams showing. He had every quality she loved in a man, and at the end of each outing she couldn’t wait to see him again. The attraction between them was very strong and if this was love then she didn’t allow herself to admit it; he was a married man and she would never let herself be the cause of a breakdown in anyone’s marriage.

  One day they were returning from another walk and were a short distance from the camp when Jack led her towards a large oak tree. He turned her to face him. There was an expression on his face Annie had never seen before and it took her breath away. This was not the warm, affectionate Jack Graham she had come to know; it was as if he’d switched something off inside himself. But one thing she was sure of, he was about to tell her something she didn’t want to hear.

  ‘Annie, I won’t be able to see you again, I’m going away.’

  ‘Oh.’ Dismay ran through her. She didn’t want to lose him, even if they did have to keep a tight rein on their feelings for each other. It wasn’t easy, of course … If only he wasn’t married! ‘Are you being posted somewhere else?’

  He nodded.

  ‘Then we can keep in touch,’ she suggested.

  ‘I’m sorry but I won’t be able to do that.’

  She looked away from his face, sad that he was ending their time together like this. They got on so well and she would never have made any demands on him.

  He kissed her gently on the lips. ‘I would stay here for ever with you if I could but I have to go away. I shall be leaving tonight. I’ll write if I can, but I can’t promise anything.’

  ‘I’m going to miss you, Jack.’ It was difficult to keep her voice steady; this had come as a shock. He hadn’t given the slightest hint that he was being moved and she was upset that he hadn’t mentioned it before. ‘Will you be coming back here after this posting?’

  ‘Not before you’ve been sent somewhere else.’ He brought her fingers up to his lips and kissed each one in turn. ‘Thank you for this lovely couple of weeks; it has meant a great deal to me.’

  She hugged him and knew that he was saying goodbye. That realization hurt very much, but she wasn’t going to make a fuss, even if she couldn’t understand why this sounded so final. When she was moved to another post he would still be able to contact her, surely? But from the shuttered expression on his face she knew he was cutting her out of his life.

  ‘I hope we meet again.’ Annie struggled to keep her tone bright.

  He didn’t comment on that. ‘You take care of yourself, Annie Webster. You are a very special person.’

  Then he turned and strode away, walking out of her life, she was sure.

  6

  August 1940

  The need to refuel and rearm was urgent. Reid had already stayed up longer than he should have done, but the fight had been desperate so he’d left it to the very last minute before breaking off. Now he had to get down, and quickly. He cast an anxious glance at his gauges and put the Spitfire into a steep dive. He was close to Biggin Hill and headed for that, determined to make the airfield. He didn’t want to land in some farmer’s field as that would put his plane out of the fight and every single aircraft was badly needed.

  He made it and the plane spluttered her way towards the hangars. ‘Can you refuel and rearm her?’ he asked, as he hauled himself out of the cockpit.

  The ground crew sprang into action just as a truck skidded to a halt beside him.

  ‘Hop in, sir. I’ll take you to the mess so you can get a cuppa.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Reid got in and the driver hurtled towards a group of buildings at great speed. ‘My brother’s stationed here,’ he told the sergeant, hanging on grimly and wondering if this was a frustrated would-be fighter pilot. ‘I’m hoping I’ll be able to see him.’

  ‘Ah, well, they’re all up, sir. It’s a busy day.’ He cast a quick sideways glance towards Reid, ‘Not that I need to tell you that. It’s turning out to be a bugger of an August, isn’t it?’

  ‘It certainly is.’ He couldn’t argue with that! By nightfall each day he was surprised to be still alive.

  ‘Here you are, sir.’ The airman disgorged his passenger and sped off in a cloud of dust.

  Reid got himself a mug of tea, then wandered outside where there was an assortment of chairs. He sat down, closed his eyes and turned his face to the warm summer sun. Over the last few weeks he had learned to grab any quiet moment for a catnap, but any call to scramble and he was instantly awake and alert. He’d always been good at athletics during his days at university but he was sure his sprinting speed had improved lately.

  The sound of aircraft had him on his feet and scanning the sky. Hurricanes and Spitfires were returning, and he watched each pilot as he jumped out of the plane. Then he saw Paul and, smiling, went to meet him.

  ‘Reid!’ He greeted his brother with enthusiasm.’ What are you doing here?’

  ‘Ran out of fuel and ammo.’

  ‘Well, we’ve chased them off for a while; so let me report in and then we’ll get something to eat. I’m starving.’

  Reid laughed. ‘You always are. I’ll wait inside for you.’

  Fifteen minutes later they were both tucking into a large plate of sausage and mash. The wartime sausages had more bread in them than anything else, and just for a moment Reid remembered the succulent bangers his mother used to cook for them, but immediately dismissed the mouth-watering thought.

  The brothers were ravenous after their time in the air and finished their meal in silence.

  ‘Have you managed to get that girl of yours to agree to marry you?’ Reid asked as they enjoyed a cup of tea after their meal.

  Paul stirred another spoon of sugar into his tea and then smiled at his brother. ‘No, she’s busy training as a wireless operator and we are forever c
hasing the Luftwaffe, but I talk to her on the phone now and again.’

  Reid studied his brother intently. Paul seemed to have a strange relationship with this girl and he hadn’t been able to work it out yet. ‘Have you changed your mind?’

  ‘No, I’ll never do that. I love her very much, but she’s a very kind person, Reid, and I could probably persuade her to marry me, given the circumstances we find ourselves in, but it wouldn’t be right to put that kind of pressure on her.’ He sat back and sighed. ‘And anyway, I wouldn’t like to make her a widow so young.’

  Reid didn’t like to hear his brother voice his fear of leaving Annie a widow if they married, though he knew every pilot wondered if they were going to survive this fight. Of course they all believed it wouldn’t happen to them but reality had a knack of creeping under your mental guard now and again.

  ‘She’s always been honest with me, and I know she doesn’t love me the way I do her, but I can’t seem to let her go.’ Paul grimaced.’ I keep hoping she will change her mind but I know it’s a forlorn hope.’

  ‘I should leave it until the war’s over; she might feel differently by then. This isn’t the time to make serious commitments, just keep in touch and enjoy the friendship,’ Reid told him.

  ‘Sound advice as usual, Reid, and I do know a very accommodating girl in the village, so I’m not being deprived of comfort.’ He winked at his brother then became serious again. ‘But it’s Annie I want for my wife, and always will.’

  ‘Squadron Leader?’ A WAAF was standing beside their table. ‘Your plane’s ready for you now.’

  Reid hauled himself to his feet. Paul walked out with him, and when they reached his plane Reid clasped his brother to him for a brief moment. How he wished this brother of his hadn’t followed in his footsteps and become a pilot, but there was no point in agonizing over it now. It was done and they had to make the best of things. ‘Take care, and watch your tail, Paul.’

  ‘And you do the same.’

  Reid slid into the cockpit. He was glad he’d landed here, it had given him a chance to see Paul and get some idea of how he was coping, but he clearly hadn’t needed to worry – his brother was handling the situation very well by the look of him.

  ‘Hey!’ Paul called. ‘That’s the first time you haven’t called me “little brother”.’

  ‘Doesn’t apply any more. All I can see is a man.’ With a last wave to his proud-looking brother, Reid took off.

  Annie put the last stitch in the badge and examined it with pride. She was now a fully trained wireless operator. It had been six months of hard and intensive training but she’d come through and was now qualified to start doing some proper work. When Jack had picked her out for this work August had seemed a long way off, but the time had flown by. The thought of Jack Graham caused the usual pain. Where was he now; what was he doing? How she would love to let him see that she hadn’t let him down …

  Dora came in and threw her bag on the floor and admired the badge. ‘Very impressive. You ready? Don’t want to miss our train.’

  Annie grinned at her friend who was having a job to contain her excitement. She had been talking for days about going home with her.

  ‘You sure your family won’t mind me coming?’ Dora looked uncertain.

  ‘Of course they won’t. We’ve got plenty of spare room now the boys are away.’

  They managed to get a lift to the station and were soon on the train heading home. Annie’s sigh was one of contentment. It was heaven to get away for a while and just relax.

  ‘You heard anything from Sir?’ Dora asked when they were settled in their seats.

  ‘Not a word.’

  ‘That’s not very kind. You’d think he could write.’

  Annie shrugged, trying to make light of her disappointment. ‘Well, I don’t suppose I’ll hear from him again. It was just a pleasant interlude for him, I expect.’

  ‘Men!’

  ‘One of these days you’re going to meet a man who will knock you sideways, and you won’t have a cynical thought in your head,’ Annie told her with a grin.

  ‘Huh! That’ll be the day.’

  When they reached the station there was an RAF lorry outside, and with very little persuasion they managed to get a lift to Annie’s house. The vehicle was crowded, and they laughed all the way to Roehampton. The men were discussing William Joyce, or Lord Haw-Haw as he’d been nicknamed. His broadcasts beginning with ‘Germany calling, Germany calling’ were the cause of much hilarity. Although a lot of the information was accurate, much of it was absolute nonsense, and his upper-class British accent made him sound ridiculous.

  After waving goodbye to the truckload of airmen, and knowing where everyone would be, Annie took Dora round the back and into the kitchen.

  ‘Annie,’ her mother said in delight. ‘What a lovely surprise.’

  ‘Hello, Mum, I hope you don’t mind but I’ve brought Dora home with me.’

  Marj smiled at the girl standing uncertainly in the doorway. ‘You’re very welcome, Dora. Come on in, and I’ll make us all a nice cup of tea. Wally’s out with his Home Guard lot, but should be back soon.’

  ‘I’m already here.’ Wally gave Annie a hug. ‘Oh, it’s good to see you, the house seems empty these days.’

  She kissed his cheek. ‘Well, I’ve brought someone with me this time. Dora, this is Wally, my stepfather.’

  ‘And I’m her brother,’ said another voice from behind her.

  Annie spun round and squeaked in delight. ‘Will, I didn’t know you were home.’

  ‘Arrived yesterday. Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?’

  ‘Sorry. Dora, this is my brother Will.’

  ‘I’m pleased to meet you, Dora. Are you girls staying long?’

  ‘Three days,’ Annie told him.

  ‘Good. Don’t arrange anything for tomorrow night, we can all go dancing in Richmond.’

  When they were settled down with cups of Marj’s famous tea in front of them, Annie studied her brother. He really was a very attractive man, and he looked smashing in his navy uniform. She also noticed Dora gazing at him with a very interested expression on her face.

  After spending some time swapping stories about their service experiences, Will glanced at his watch and stood up. ‘I’ve got to go, I’m meeting some mates at four.’

  When he’d gone, Marj said, ‘Dora can share your room. I keep the beds made up in case any of you turn up unexpectedly.’

  ‘Thanks, Mum. Come on, Dora, we can stow our gear later. I’ll take you to meet Rose.’

  Annie opened the kitchen door of Rose’s house and found her in a tussle with her daughter. It wasn’t unusual, as Kate had a stubborn streak and mother and daughter often clashed.

  ‘You’ll do as you’re told, my girl.’

  ‘Won’t go!’

  Rose sighed and looked up. ‘Come in, Annie.’

  ‘This is Dora,’ she introduced.

  ‘Hello, Dora, welcome to bedlam.’

  ‘What’s all this about?’ Annie asked her sister.

  ‘I want Kate and James to go and stay with Dad in Wales. James is happy enough, but this little miss refuses to leave home.’

  ‘Why?’ Annie asked the little girl. ‘You like Grandpa George, don’t you?’

  Kate nodded and a large tear trickled down her chin. ‘I can’t go. What if Daddy comes home and I’m not here? I’ll never see him!’

  ‘I’ve told you umpteen times that we’ll come to Wales.’ Rose was clearly exasperated.

  ‘No, you won’t.’ Kate hiccuped and wailed in earnest. ‘Daddy’s gone away. I don’t want him gone away. He don’t love me any more.’

  ‘Oh, that isn’t true.’ Dora was on her knees in front of the distraught child. ‘How could he not love a beautiful daughter like you?’

  Kate hiccuped again and stared at her with interest. ‘Why’s he gone away, then?’

  ‘There’s a nasty man who wants to come and take over our country,’ Dora ex
plained, wiping Kate’s tears with her own hanky. ‘Your daddy’s gone to stop him.’

  Kate thought about this for a while, and then gave a watery smile. ‘He’ll do it.’

  ‘Of course he will.’

  ‘Can’t go away, though.’ Kate obviously wasn’t going to give way on this important point and her mouth settled in a determined line.

  ‘Why not, sweetheart?’ George Gresham strolled in and tossed his bag down. ‘I’ve just come back from Wales and the house is all ready now. I’ve had to have a lot done to it because it’s old, but everything’s cosy now.’

  Rose stood with her hands on her hips and sighed again. ‘Thank goodness you’re here, Dad, try and talk some sense into her, will you?’

  George sat down and pulled Kate on to his knees. ‘It’s a pretty house and there’s a farm next door with lots of animals. It’s near a place called Pontypool and we won’t get any bombs there.’

  Kate looked unimpressed. ‘No bombs here.’

  ‘Not yet, but they’re getting terribly close, my precious, and London is bound to be attacked soon.’

  ‘We’ve got a shelter in the garden. Daddy dug it,’ the girl pointed out.

  Rose was about to say something but George silenced her with a look.

  ‘You and James will be much safer with me. One of the farm dogs has just had puppies. You can choose one for your own.’

  This caused a spark of interest, and although the little girl was fighting it, the mention of animals was too much for her. ‘How many puppies?’

  ‘Six, and they’ve got two donkeys as well. The farmer’s very nice and he said you can help to look after them if you want to.’

  Kate shoved her thumb into her mouth and sucked on it thoughtfully.

  Annie and Dora walked over to Rose, who was shaking her head in disbelief.

  ‘My God, look at her; she’s weighing the whole thing up. That girl will never make a hasty decision in her life.’

  The three of them watched the scene being played out, with the little girl firmly in charge.