The Christmas Wedding Ring (Hqn)

by Susan Mallery

  Molly had come to him because she needed him, but she didn’t need him anymore.

  He put the bike in gear and started down the street. The last image he had of her was Grant ushering her into the building.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Molly stood still until the last sound of the motorcycle had faded, then she shrugged off Grant’s arm. She was so confused, and there was no way she wanted to have this conversation with Grant. Unfortunately, she couldn’t think of a reason to send him away. Maybe it would be better this way. They could just get it over with.

  “I came by last night, but you were gone,” Grant said. His tone was light, but she heard the annoyance in his voice.

  “I told you. I was out of town.”

  As they approached the front door of her condo, he handed her the box of roses and pulled out his keychain. “Allow me,” he said, and smiled.

  She grimaced. She’d forgotten that she’d given him a key to her place. Not that he’d used it very much. Grant rarely spent the night and his hours at the law firm meant that she was home long before he ever showed up. Maybe it had been one of those symbolic gestures, designed to make them feel connected. At the time it had probably worked, but right now she was tired and annoyed.

  They walked into her condo. The living room was exactly as she’d left it just two weeks earlier. A neighbor had picked up her mail and put it on the kitchen table. She could see the pile from where she was standing.

  Grant moved to face her, placed his hands on her shoulders and kissed her. He’d probably been going for her mouth, but she turned her head and his lips brushed against her cheek. She closed her eyes and tried to find something familiar and pleasurable about the contact, but all she could think about was how much it hurt to breathe. Dylan was really gone.

  “So,” Grant said, placing his keys on the counter dividing the eating area from the living room and taking the box of roses. “You were gone for a few days.”

  She watched him search for a vase. He found one on the top shelf of the pantry, then opened the box and began arranging the roses. They were beautiful. Dark red and fragrant.

  “Yes. I needed some time to think. There’s been a lot on my mind.” She motioned to the flowers. “They’re very beautiful. Thank you.”

  He continued to fuss with the roses. Her gaze drifted to his keys. Without thinking, she dropped the duffel, picked up the keys and began separating her house key from the rest. It only took a second to slide the metal off the ring and slip it into her pocket. He never even noticed.

  When he was done, he brought the display into the living room and set it on the coffee table. Then he settled on the sofa and patted the cushion next to him.

  Molly walked over and sat at the opposite end of the couch. Grant didn’t take the hint. He slid over and took both her hands in his.

  His eyes were medium brown—nondescript. Neither attractive nor unattractive. She told herself it was wrong to keep comparing him with Dylan. Grant was a corporate lawyer, Dylan a maverick entrepreneur. They were nothing alike. Odd that they had both had an impact on her life.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” he said.

  “I doubt that.”

  He peered at her with what she’d always called his “owl” look. As if he were trying too hard to appear wise. “You’re thinking that I’m going to be upset about your motorcycle-riding friend. I’ll admit that it looked pretty bad, but I trust you, Molly. I’ve always trusted you. You are such a great woman and I can’t believe how stupid I was.”

  She tried to pull back, but he only tightened his hold on her hands. “It’s like this,” he continued. “There was that big case I was working on. My job has a lot of pressure. I know you understand. Added to that, you and I had settled into a rut.”

  She opened her mouth to protest but didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t be right. He couldn’t possibly be trying to blame his actions on her, could he?

  “A rut?” she managed at last.

  “Yes. We were doing the same things all the time. It’s no one’s fault. It happens. Between that and the long hours, well, I...”

  She stared at him, waiting to hear this excuse. When he was silent she said, “You ran off with your secretary. We were supposed to be engaged and you went away with another woman. That’s more than a rut, Grant. That’s the entire Grand Canyon.”

  He shifted on the seat. “I can see this upsets you.”

  “You bet it does. You took off without warning. You called me from the hotel to tell me what you’d done. You even called collect. You were a cold-hearted, selfish bastard and we both know it.”

  “All right.” He rose to his feet and stared down at her. “You’re going to be emotional about this. Fine. I can be logical for both of us. I’ll admit my behavior was inappropriate. I shouldn’t have run off with her. I won’t take all the blame, though. She’s very young and pretty. She was making a play for me and one day I stopped resisting. That was an error.”

  He was so calm. Molly didn’t know whether to laugh or start throwing furniture in his general direction. “Spare me the details,” she said.

  He went on to explain how the trip to Mexico had been an impulse. When he started describing the white sandy beaches, she tuned him out. This wasn’t getting them anywhere.

  “What’s your point, Grant?” she asked, cutting him off in midsentence.

  He blinked, then motioned to the flowers. “I would have thought that was obvious. We need to reestablish our emotional connection. The intimacy and trust have been battered.”

  He’d run off with his twenty-two-year-old secretary and he considered their relationship battered. What would it take to seriously cripple it?

  She watched him move around the room. He was treating the area like a courtroom. He was the counsel for the defense and she was—actually, she wasn’t sure of her role in the whole charade. He was reasonably attractive, but she couldn’t imagine loving him. Not anymore. Not ever, maybe. What had it been? A convenience? Another way of settling, of not expecting too much so if she lost she wouldn’t hurt too much?

  “Do you love me?” she asked.

  “Molly, how can you ask that?”

  “Because I want to know. Do you love me?”

  “You’re the woman I want to spent the rest of my life with. We’d talked about having children together.”

  “That’s not an answer. Why aren’t you with your secretary right now? What happened in paradise?”

  Grant had the good grace to flush. “She’s very young.”

  “And?”

  He cleared his throat, then shoved his hands into his slacks pockets. She realized he was in a suit and that it was the middle of the day. He’d actually taken off work to come talk to her. Amazing. Then she glanced at the clock and realized he was here on his lunch hour.

  “We didn’t have that much to talk about,” he admitted.

  “I see.”

  “You should really be happy,” he said. “I’ve gotten all of this nonsense out of my system. Before we were married and there was a chance to do harm.”

  So he thought no harm had been done. Oddly enough, he was right.

  “How did you know I wasn’t at work?” she asked. After all, he’d been gone and she hadn’t had the chance to tell him about being let go.

  “I went by the office Friday. Your boss told me you’d taken a couple of days off. He also mentioned you’d been given a promotion and a big raise. Congratulations.”

  “Oh, thanks.”

  “Actually, that dovetails nicely with our plans.”

  She didn’t remember much about their plans. “In what way?”

  “Now, after we’re married and we sell your condo, we can go house hunting. I can tell you now I was a little concerned about living here for too long. The address is
n’t that prestigious. Certainly that’s important in my line of work.”

  He didn’t like her condo. Of course he didn’t. She saw that now. She wondered if he’d liked anything about her. Maybe she’d been a convenience, too. Maybe he’d settled. If so, what was Grant hiding from?

  She looked at him, at his bland face and the way he rocked back on his heels. There was no point in prolonging this, she thought, and rose to her feet. “I’ll be right back,” she told him.

  Once alone in her bedroom, she crossed to the small jewelry box sitting on her dresser and pulled open the bottom drawer. A large ruby ring sat there. It was the engagement ring Grant had given her. He hadn’t bought her a diamond because one of the senior partners’ wives had told him she thought they were common. Molly remembered her disappointment because she’d always imagined wearing a pretty, sparkling diamond engagement ring. But she’d never told Grant.

  She curled her fingers around the ring and returned to the living room. Grant still stood in the center of the room.

  She walked back to the sofa and leaned forward until she could rest her forearms on the cushioned top.

  “I had a bad few days,” she said. “That week you ran off with your secretary was probably the worst time of my life.”

  “I’ve told you I’m sorry,” he said.

  “I know and I accept your apology. But that wasn’t all of it. You see, you called me on Tuesday, but first, on Monday, I was let go.”

  “You were fired?” He sounded incredulous. “But I spoke to your boss yesterday. He didn’t say anything.”

  “They want me back.”

  “Good. So what’s the problem?”

  What, indeed? “You weren’t here when that happened, Grant. I was alone. I tried to call you that night, but you weren’t home. I realize now that you’d already left for Mexico. The very next day you phoned to tell me you’d run off with your secretary.”

  His shoulders hunched forward slightly. “I can’t change what happened, Molly. What do you want me to say?”

  “I want you to listen. I don’t think you understand the impact all this had on me.”

  “I see. You’re using this as an excuse to explain your behavior. Something did happen with that guy on the motorcycle.”

  “I’m not trying to justify anything, because I don’t have to. You ran out on me, not the other way around.” She shook her head. “You’re not listening, Grant. Please. Hear me out. The day after you left, Wednesday—the day before Thanksgiving—I found a lump in my breast. I was doing a self-exam in the shower and I—”

  “Oh, my God! You have cancer.”

  Molly looked up in time to see him take a step backward. His expression tightened, as did his body language. He looked as if he were trying not to breathe in too deeply.

  The last drop of compassion or duty or whatever she wanted to call it dried up. This man was nothing to her. She was having trouble figuring out what she’d ever seen in him in the first place. She wasn’t sorry it was over—better to have learned it now than after they were married.

  The real sadness, though, was the contrast between his reaction and Dylan’s. Dylan, who was only a friend, had been comforting and compassionate. Grant acted as if he’d just come in contact with a contagious disease.

  “I don’t have cancer,” she said quietly as she straightened. “They removed the lump and checked it out. I’m fine.”

  “You must be relieved.” He still looked shell-shocked.

  “I am. But it’s been weeks of complete hell. I didn’t know whether I was going to live or die. You were supposed to care about me. You were supposed to be at my side, no matter what. Yet I was forced to go through this without you. I can’t trust you and I know I don’t love you anymore. I don’t think I ever loved you.”

  She walked forward and held out the ring.

  Grant stared at her. “You can’t mean that. I won’t let you break our engagement.” He frowned. “They’re sure about the lump? It couldn’t possibly be something, you know, fatal.”

  “The doctor got two opinions. They’re sure and so am I.” She walked to the door and held it open. “Goodbye, Grant.”

  He moved toward the entrance, then paused. She wondered what he would say to try to convince her not to get rid of him. A lawyer’s closing arguments.

  “You’re making a big mistake,” he said. “I’m not going to have any trouble replacing you. Can you say the same?”

  She handed him the ring. After all this time, she didn’t feel a thing for him. All she wanted was him out of her life.

  “I can honestly say I don’t give a damn,” she told him, and shut the door behind him.

  She leaned against the door frame and waited for the crush of emotions to fill her. It had been a difficult day, to say the least. She wasn’t sure where she should go next or what she should do. Maybe for now she wasn’t going to do anything.

  * * *

  “I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Molly said three days later.

  With two days until Christmas, she was at her sister’s house. Janet and Thomas had gone out last night to celebrate their fourteenth anniversary, while Molly stayed home and decorated cookies with her three young nieces. Today, Thomas was back at work, and Molly and Janet were sitting on the couch with their morning coffee, with their feet meeting in the middle of the sofa, a quilt draped over both their legs. The girls were writing a letter to Santa. Well, Autumn was writing letters, taking dictation from the younger two.

  Molly continued. “I’ve settled two out of three issues in my life. That’s worth something.”

  “I don’t want to pressure you—” Janet said.

  “Yes, you do,” Molly interrupted with a smile.

  “Okay.” Janet chuckled. “Maybe just a little pressure. You know, enough to keep you motivated. I’m thrilled that you’re healthy and I agree with your decision to dump Grant. But you have to make a decision about work. They’re not going to hold the job open forever.”

  “I’m not asking them to. I said I would decide by the end of the year. I’m taking Christmas and New Year’s off. Look, Janet, they fired me. I’m not going to jump through hoops just because they’ve changed their mind.”

  “What if they hire someone else in your place?”

  “Then I’ll find another job.” She drew in a deep breath. “When everything was falling apart and I was waiting to hear from the doctor, I promised myself I wouldn’t settle ever again. I want to live my life. I’ve been so afraid and I’ve made the safe choices. I’m done with that. Unfortunately, I don’t know what that information really means to me, so I’m going to have to take the time to find out.”

  “I understand,” Janet said slowly. “Except for one thing.”

  “Which is?”

  “Why didn’t you tell me you’d fallen in love with Dylan?”

  Molly sat up. She supposed she shouldn’t be surprised. Janet had always been able to read her perfectly. “How’d you guess?”

  “When we talked while you were gone, you mentioned him all the time. How nice he was being, how much fun you were having. Then you stopped talking about him. I didn’t think he’d stopped being wonderful, so I made the obvious leap. That something had happened between the two of you.”

  Molly clutched her snowman mug. “It wasn’t what you’re thinking. We...” Her voice trailed off. “Will you be mad?”

  “Oh, Molly. Don’t worry about that. Dylan and I were through with each other years ago. I don’t think about him and I’m sure he doesn’t think about me. I’m very happy in my life.”

  Molly knew all that was true, but it was nice to hear the words as confirmation, and to see the peaceful expression on her sister’s face. This really didn’t bother Janet at all. “I didn’t plan for anything to happen. It just did. He was so good to me
and I’d always had a crush on him. One thing led to another and I realized I loved him.”

  “How does he feel about you?”

  Molly smiled sadly. “He likes me a lot. He thinks I’m special. For reasons I still don’t understand, he thinks I’m very pretty.”

  “That’s because you are very pretty.”

  “Uh-huh, sure. You’re my sister. You have to say nice stuff about me. But Dylan doesn’t, so I guess he’s telling the truth. He’s so good and kind. I don’t know why he agreed to go away with me, but I’ll be grateful for that the rest of my life.”

  “You didn’t tell him, did you?”

  Molly closed her eyes. Here it was—the truth she’d been trying to hide from. She had told Dylan that she loved him. She supposed that in the back of her mind she’d hoped he would come looking for her. That he would ride up on his motorcycle and carry her away.

  But that sort of thing didn’t happen in real life. He wasn’t a commitment kind of man and he was probably happy to have escaped her.

  “I promised myself no regrets,” she said. “So yes, I did tell him. He hasn’t been in touch with me since. I’m okay with that,” she added hastily, then stared out the window at the trees in the courtyard beyond. “He got me through a rough time. I have the memories and the strength. That’s enough.”

  “Is it?” her sister asked.

  “It has to be. So for now, I think about what I want to do. In the next week, I’m going to make some decisions. I might take the job offer or I might find something else. I’ve even been thinking about going back to school and getting my master’s degree.”

  Janet sighed. “You’re right about all of it. You have to decide. I’m sorry I bugged you.”

  “I’m not. It reminds me that you care and I appreciate that.”

  Molly did appreciate her sister’s concern. She wasn’t worried. The answer would come to her soon. She had faith and patience. She also had the satisfaction of knowing there was nothing with Dylan that she could regret. Oh, it would have been nice if he’d wanted to stay around, but she couldn’t control that. She’d done her best. She knew the difference between not giving up without a fight and beating her head against a wall. If he wanted her, he had her number.