Whirlwind Bride

by Debra Cowan

  Riley had dallied on purpose, staying to talk to Davis Lee about nothing because he wasn’t ready to go home. Seeing Susannah deathly pale in the grass yesterday, with no sign of Button, he’d been scared spitless.

  He knew he had come down too hard on Susannah last night and he owed her an apology.

  Three hours after he left for town, he walked into the house, peeling off his gloves. An eerie quiet surrounded him. “Susannah?”

  The slate floor of the foyer was spotless; his heavy coat hung where it should on the coat tree behind the door. Nothing seemed out of place in the sitting room or the dining room. He went upstairs, hit with a sense of desolation.

  Upon walking into their bedroom, he knew immediately that she was gone. The armoire stood open, emptied of her clothes and shoes. Her brush and mirror were missing from the dresser. No cotton wrapper was draped across the rocking chair he’d moved up here for the baby’s midnight feedings.

  He saw the letter and grabbed it, walking across the hall. Button’s cradle was empty, her blanket and tiny clothes gone.

  What the hell was going on? He opened the letter, reading quickly, hardly able to take in the words.

  Dear Riley,

  I’ve gone to St. Louis for good. I married you for the wrong reasons. After what happened yesterday, I see now that you’ll never believe I belong in Whirlwind. I know you love Lorelai, and you’re welcome to see her anytime you wish. I was wrong when I thought all she needed was a mother and father who loved her. What she really needs are two parents who love each other. Pru and your wagon will be at Cora’s. I’m so sorry. Thank you for all you’ve done.

  Love, Susannah.

  The words merged in a haze of red, pain gouging deep. How could she do this? He hadn’t taken their vows so lightly.

  Fury and hurt tangled. Well, she’d finally gone back to the city, as he’d urged her to a dozen times. His fist closed over the letter, crumpling it. Why had he ever taught her to drive that damn wagon?

  He’d known not to fall in love with another city girl.

  St. Louis. That’s where she belonged.

  His anger carried him through that day and night, but when he woke the next morning, he knew he had to go after her. She belonged here with him.

  It wasn’t just sleeping alone that made him realize how much he needed her. She meant more to him than he’d allowed himself to think. To feel, even.

  He slid out of bed, standing naked in the center of the room as images melted away the last of his anger. He missed watching her brush her thick curls. Missed the sound of her padding softly across the floor to check on Button.

  On the trail with Davis Lee, Riley had ached for the feel of her beside him, the gentle scent of her early in the morning, her silky hair tickling his chest when she snuggled into his shoulder. Her smart-aleck remarks when he least expected them. Her laugh. That determined look in her blue eyes.

  He’d known his feelings for her were changing, but he had forgotten all that when he’d seen her lying in the grass yesterday. The realization that he could have lost her as easily, as swiftly as he’d lost Maddie had slammed into him. It was pure-dee fear that had spurred him to tell her she was foolish, accuse her of not thinking about the baby’s well-being.

  He was an idiot. He loved her and he’d driven her away.

  When had his admiration, his lust for her changed to something else? He loved Button, but he had never examined what he felt for Susannah. Had refused, in fact.

  During his marriage to Maddie, he’d been set upon to prove things. Those were the years he’d worked his fingers to the bone to establish his reputation for prime horseflesh and quality beef. Providing for a wife had been a priority and he’d wondered over the years if he had really been such a good husband. Then there were the times he’d held it against Maddie for being a city girl, for dying and leaving him. He was ashamed.

  Something about Susannah forced him to look deep into himself, come to terms with things and put them to rest.

  He’d told himself he couldn’t get close to another woman, couldn’t risk such a loss again. But he had gotten close to her. And now he’d lost her.

  Without ever telling her that he loved her.

  She thought he didn’t want her in Whirlwind, that she didn’t belong. That had been true, once. But she’d made a life for herself here, for them. How many times had she proved him wrong? Shown him a deep core of strength beneath that soft exterior?

  He loved her and he was going after her.

  “Please tell me how long she’s been gone, Cora,” Riley demanded of his friend a few hours later.

  “Since yesterday morning. She took the stage and thought she could catch the afternoon train out of Abilene.” The woman’s lips flattened.

  “I’m going after her.”

  Cora’s hazel gaze considered him, then she said grudgingly, “I had a wire from her last evening. She didn’t make yesterday’s train and plans on leaving this morning. I don’t know why I’m telling you anything, you stubborn, mule-headed man. You never shoulda let her leave. I oughta blister your hind end.”

  “You’re right, I shouldn’t have let her leave.”

  “Humph.”

  “Who drove the stage?”

  “She had plenty of volunteers, I can tell ya.”

  “That figures. Who drove?”

  “I think Pete Carter. He and J. T. Baldwin were coming to terms about it last I saw. They’ve been taking turns driving Ollie’s route since he passed on.”

  “Thanks.” Riley pressed a hasty kiss to her cheek and she pushed him away.

  She slammed the door behind him and he mounted Whip, heading for town. If Susannah was half as mad as Cora, he had a lot of begging to do.

  Reining up in front of the saloon, he hitched his horse and strode past the swinging doors, heading for the post office. And the telegraph machine.

  “Where you going in such a hurry, Holt?” Matt Baldwin stepped out of the saloon.

  “You’re not chasing Miz Susannah, now, are you?” J.T.’s big voice boomed down the street.

  Riley turned, looking at the elder Baldwin. “I guess you didn’t drive her to Abilene.”

  “What did you do to her, Holt?” Russ asked.

  “That’s between me and—nothing!” He pivoted and stalked into the post office. “Tony, I need to send a telegram to Abilene, ask Susannah not to board that train.”

  The rotund man lifted one dark eyebrow. “I don’t think she wants to hear from you.”

  His jaw dropped. Was everyone in Whirlwind mad at him? “Just send the damn wire. Here’s my money.” He slapped a coin down on the counter and leaned over, saying softly, “You best send it.”

  Tony snatched the coin and pounded out the message, his lips flat and disapproving.

  Riley turned, heading out the door. He’d ride like hell to Abilene and see if he could stop her, though he feared it was too late.

  “Well, well, did you come to your senses, little brother?”

  Who had told Davis Lee? Cora, most likely. Riley walked past his brother, who held Whip’s reins, threading them through his fingers.

  “I’m going after her.”

  “It would serve you right if she didn’t hear you out.”

  “Yes, it would.” Riley looked at his brother. “I’m surprised you didn’t hightail it out to the ranch when you learned she’d left.”

  “I thought about coming out there to pound some sense into you, but I reckon y’all need to work this out for yourselves.”

  “I love her, Davis Lee. I’m an idiot for taking so long to realize it, but I do. And I don’t plan on coming home without her.”

  He took the reins from his brother. “There’s no telling how long it’ll take me to convince her, if I can. You might need to check in with Joe and Cody about the ranch.”

  “I will.” Davis Lee pulled the watch from his vest pocket. “That train’s already left Abilene.”

  “You think she really boarded?”
<
br />   “I’m afraid so.”

  “Then I’ll ride to St. Louis. That way, I won’t have to make all the train stops and I might reach St. Louis the same time she does.”

  “Good idea.”

  Riley swung into the saddle.

  Davis Lee stepped into the street and stuck out his hand. “Good luck. You’re gonna need it.”

  “Thanks.”

  Nothing in the room where she’d grown up had changed. The same ice-blue satin covered her walls and her bed. The blue drapes were open to let sunshine stream through the mullioned windows.

  When she’d arrived at the train depot in St. Louis, she’d gone straight to Adam, but when her parents had learned of her return, they had come there also. They’d wanted to talk, and though she dreaded another scene like the one they’d had before she left home, it hadn’t happened. Hurt still lingered in all of them, she knew, but they had made a start.

  There was no disguising Ginny’s and Edward’s immediate love for Lorelai. They had actually argued over which of them should hold the baby first. Susannah knew that seeing their granddaughter had gone a long way toward softening the animosity between herself and her parents. They had begged her to reconsider staying at their house and, once Adam promised to rescue her at the first sign the truce might break, she had finally agreed.

  Things were a bit awkward among the three of them, with everyone trying to be careful of each other’s feelings, but Susannah appreciated the effort put forth by her mother and father.

  Even after five days, she still didn’t know what she would do about Riley and her marriage. She instinctively knew he wouldn’t give her a divorce. Her heart ached. She missed him, and she missed their home. She missed the rugged plains around Whirlwind and the small town she’d come to love. She’d never before noticed how close together the houses were on her parents’ street. Never noticed how people seemed to press in on top of her. In Texas, she’d been able to breathe, and now felt constricted.

  She tried to stay cheery for Lorelai’s sake, but the baby sensed her unhappiness. And probably missed the only man she’d known as a father, Susannah acknowledged. It was five days since Lorelai had heard Riley’s voice or felt his touch. Didn’t that have to affect her? It certainly affected Susannah.

  The baby slept fitfully in a lovely crib next to her bed, but it wasn’t the cradle Riley had repaired. She had left that one at his house, having no room for it on the stage or the train.

  The sound of voices drifted upstairs to her room. She peered into the mirror, glad her shoulder had healed enough that she could go without the sling for short periods of time. It was still tender, so she smoothed her hair using her right hand, then walked out to greet her brother and sister-in-law for dinner. No amount of pinching put any color into her pale cheeks, and the strain of the last few days drew tight lines around her mouth.

  On her first night away from Riley, she’d cried herself to sleep. But she knew he would never love her as she loved him. Somehow she’d gotten through hour after hour, then an entire day. She was grateful for Adam and the efforts he’d made on her behalf with their parents, but she didn’t know if she would ever forgive him for pushing her at Riley Holt.

  She started down the broad sweeping staircase, freezing halfway down at the sound of a familiar male voice. It didn’t belong to Adam or her father.

  She saw him then, standing in her parents’ foyer. Holding his hat in his hand, dressed in dusty Levi’s and boots and a grimy white shirt, he appeared to be arguing with her father. Adam, standing quietly to the side, looked up at her.

  She spun.

  “Susannah?”

  Her hand closed tight on the gleaming wood rail. She closed her eyes at the pain his husky voice brought, a voice she hadn’t expected to ever hear again.

  “Please hear me out, darlin’.”

  Darlin’! She looked at him sharply, tears of hurt and anger stinging her eyes. She caught her skirts in both hands and ran up the stairs.

  Footsteps pounded behind her.

  “Young man!” Edward Phelps bellowed.

  “Let him go, Father,” Adam said.

  Why had Riley come here?

  “Susannah, please?” At the top of the stairs, he closed his hand over her arm.

  How had he climbed those steps so quickly? She tried to shake him off and he tightened his grip, turning her to face him as he backed her into the wall.

  Anger and hurt burned in his eyes. “I know you don’t want to see me, but I came here to say my piece. I’m not leaving without saying it.”

  “Say it to Adam.” She opened her bedroom door and marched inside, attempting to slam it shut.

  Riley slapped a hand against the wood and pushed his way in.

  She gasped. “You are not invited!”

  “You’re still my wife. I don’t have to be.”

  Staring into the blue eyes she loved so, she nearly broke. He smelled of horses and man. Whiskers shadowed his jaw, giving him a rugged, dangerous look.

  Concern darkened his eyes. “Your shoulder isn’t bound.”

  “It’s doing better.”

  “Still sore?”

  She didn’t want his compassion; it made her want so much more. “Did you come to see the baby?”

  “You didn’t let me tell her goodbye.”

  So that was why he’d come. Trying to keep her face from showing the stark pain his words inflicted, Susannah studied her fingernails. “I didn’t think I’d be able to resist you if I told you in person. Resist your arguments, I mean,” she added when she saw a flare of male satisfaction in his eyes. “I’ll get Lorelai.”

  “Not yet. I came here to talk to you. To talk about…us.”

  Us? She eyed him warily.

  “First, I apologize for what I said to you the day of the accident. Seeing you lying on the ground, and no sign of Button, put the fear of God in me, but I had no right to say those things. I know you would never put Button in jeopardy. And I do know that you can take care of yourself.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “Since when?”

  “Since you put me in my place.” He gave her a crooked smile.

  Not wanting him to see how her nerves jumped at his nearness, she balled her hands into fists. “You didn’t have to come all this way to tell me that.”

  “That isn’t all I want to tell you.”

  She wanted him to hold her once more, and at the same time she wanted to get as far away as she could.

  “You signed the letter ‘Love, Susannah.’” He fished a crumpled piece of paper from the front pocket of his trousers. “Do you? Love me?”

  She turned away.

  He moved in front of her, putting a gentle hand on her right arm. “You said you married me knowing that I didn’t love you, but hoping I’d come to.”

  She closed her eyes, trying to regain some sense of balance. “Why couldn’t you let me get close? You had no problem doing that with Lorelai. Why?”

  “I don’t know. All I know is the way I feel about her doesn’t scare the hell out of me. The way I feel about you does.”

  “Well, that’s promising,” she muttered.

  His hand slipped to her wrist, his thumb stroking the bare skin below her sleeve. “I just mean—listen, I’m no good at this stuff. I was afraid something would happen and I’d lose you.”

  “You mean like you lost Maddie?”

  “Yes.”

  “Don’t you think something bad could happen to the baby?”

  Her question put fear in his eyes and he said tightly, “I never thought of you as cruel, Susannah.”

  “I’m not being cruel or wishing anything bad to happen. None of us ever knows what might happen, good or bad.”

  “Woman, you are confoundin’.” He released her, bracing his hands on his hips. Frustration stamped his features. “The fact is, if something happened to you, I couldn’t survive it.”

  “I feel that sometimes, too,” she said gently, “but I can’t accept less than I’m willing to gi
ve, Riley. I want all of you, all of your heart. I settled once, and I won’t do it again.”

  “Well, why do you think I rode like hellfire to get up here?” He stepped close, this time catching her hand when she tried to step away. “I want all of you, too.”

  “What you feel is for the baby—”

  “Darlin’, let me tell you what I’m feelin’.” He stroked a knuckle down her cheek. “What I’m trying to say is, I love you. I was just too much of a damn fool to realize it before you left.”

  “You love me?”

  “Yes.”

  She stared into his eyes, searching hard for doubts.

  “Your leaving like to ripped my heart out.”

  “You miss the baby.”

  “I miss you, Susannah Holt. My wife. I’d marry you all over again, for the right reasons this time. I never thought I’d want to let someone close again, but you plumb stole my heart. I don’t think I had a chance.”

  His words took her breath. “And what about Lorelai?”

  “I love her, too, Susannah. You know it, but this is about us. You were right when you said the best thing for her is two parents who love each other. That’s what I had with my folks, though I didn’t realize it until you put it into words.” He took her hands, bringing them to his lips. “Please don’t turn me away. Please tell me I’m not too late to change your mind and take you home.”

  “I want to believe you,” she said tremulously. “But it seems too good to be true.”

  “You know I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true.”

  “It’s not that I don’t trust you, but—”

  “Darlin’, do you think I could love Button if I didn’t love you so much?”

  She stilled. “Yes. She’s a child.”

  “She’s your child, Susannah. And yes, I want her to be ours. But more than that, I want you to be my wife. Please believe I love you.”

  Her head and her heart, in perfect accord for once, urged her to believe him.