Seaswept Abandon

by Jo Goodman

  She tried to twist from Shannon's grasp, paying little heed to his words. "Jericho? What do you mean you are a dead man?"

  "Figure it out for yourself, Red," Jericho said wearily, rubbing his abdomen.

  Noah lifted his head sharply, eyeing Jericho narrowly. "Don't call her Red. It makes her sound like a strumpet." He glanced at his sister and took in her pale complexion, as well as her disreputable state of dress. "You have a lot to answer for, Smith. Shannon, cut Rahab's bonds, and Rae, for God's sake, if you don't want Smith tossed overboard at the first sign of Salem's wakening, you'll go below and change into something less revealing."

  She did not doubt the wisdom of Noah's advice, but he was still a stranger to her, and she found herself turning to Jericho for direction. Though he grimaced when she did so, thinking she had surely dug his grave with that look, he nodded quickly, giving his permission. Past her turned head Shannon and Noah exchanged troubled glances. Shrugging, as if he didn't know what to make of Rae's attitude, Shannon sliced her bonds. Rubbing her wrists to restore circulation, she made a quiet thank you, and then hurried below. Just before she shut the cabin door she could hear Noah's cutting demand that all of Jericho's explanations be good ones.

  She dressed quickly, alert all the while to sounds above her that might mean Jericho was suffering again at the hands of Shannon and her brothers. Brothers. It was difficult to accept that Noah and Salem were her kin when they seemed not the least familiar. She smiled faintly when she thought how she had been ready to defend Jericho from her champions. Ready to defend? Lord, she had knocked the big one silly. She hoped Salem was a tolerant sort and loved her dearly, for she had no desire to feel the flat of another man's hand on her backside.

  She tidied the cabin and straightened the bunk, frowning darkly when she saw the drops of blood on the sheets. Had Shannon said they were protecting her virtue? At the moment, only she and Jericho and the Lord knew they were too late for that. What a muddle everything had become, she thought disgustedly as she arranged the blankets over the stain. She could not even think clearly. At this moment she had no idea whether she regretted all that had happened or if it was perhaps the best adventure of her life. Certainly it was the only adventure she remembered, she reminded herself with a sigh.

  Eyes closed, she massaged her temples, trying to recall what she knew about herself from what little Jericho had said. She was the sister Salem despaired of, the one with the broken engagement, the one who kept men at a distance. Well, Jericho Smith had put a period to that. Now Salem really had good reason to despair and would not thank any of them for it. And Ashley? The thought of her sister-in-law caused her shoulders to sag dispiritedly. Here was the woman Jericho, if not loving her, at least cared for deeply. Jericho had told her that Ashley had tried to introduce him to Salem's sister. How odd, to have heard her talked about and not even realized it was she. Keep thinking along those lines, m'girl, and your brain will turn to soup.

  There were a number of footsteps in the passageway that interrupted her from her disjointed thoughts. She sat down on the edge of the bunk, changed her mind when she considered that she might look too comfortable there for her brothers' tastes, and chose the window seat instead. She was steadying the racing of her heart when there was a brisk knock at the door.

  "Are you decent, Rahab?"

  She recognized it was Noah who wanted to know. "Yes. You may come in."

  Jericho was escorted in on the arms of Noah and Salem. Shannon followed, shutting the door behind him and leaning against it. She supposed he was doing it in aid of blocking Jericho's escape, but she doubted Jericho was considering such an action. His shuttered expression made it impossible to tell what his thoughts were, and she could not help but wonder how much he regretted coming to her aid in the first place.

  Noah sat with Jericho on the bunk, while Salem leaned casually against the desk, his hands folded in front of him. She had carefully avoided Salem's eyes since he had entered the room, but now he spoke to her and she could not put off the confrontation a moment longer.

  "Rae, I don't know whether to hug you or beat you," he said. His silvery eyes took in the whole of her and then softened when he saw her confusion. "For the moment, I shall do neither. Jericho says you don't know any of us. Is that true?"

  She wished that it weren't. Surely she hadn't mistaken the fondness in Salem's expression as his eyes swept over her. She wanted to wrap herself in that warmth, but worried that it would be unseemly for her to act on her feelings. She bit her lip and maintained shy contact. "I know who you are—now—but I don't remember any of you. I don't know myself, and that is a sad fact, although I'm sorry about clobbering you. I didn't know what to think when I came on deck and saw you holding Jericho."

  Salem rubbed the back of his head and grinned ruefully. "It's no more than I taught you to do. I suppose it was inevitable that someday you should demonstrate your skill on my noggin." His smile faded. "Except for the memory loss, Rae, are you feeling well?"

  "Yes, I'm fine. I gather you think Jericho treated me shabbily, but you are in the wrong of it there." She ignored the startled lift of Jericho's head. "He thought I was a spy, with orders to betray him, so he had no choice but to keep me at his side."

  "Why would you think that, Smith?" Noah demanded.

  "Because she could read," Jericho said.

  "Of course she can read, you simple son of—" Shannon cut himself off and looked at Rae apologetically. "Sorry, Rae. I forgot myself."

  She brushed aside his concern airly. "Don't fret. Jericho's heard worse than that from my own lips." She blushed when she recalled his threat to turn her over his knee again. She broke away from Salem's speculative gaze by putting forth her own questions. "I'm very much afraid I understand virtually nothing of what has happened to me. Indeed, I cannot recollect a thing of my personal life prior to waking on this schooner. How did I come to be in Wolfe's? Were we so badly in need of the ready that you sent me to work in that flesh market?" It was difficult to say who was most distressed by her last statement, though Jericho choked the loudest. "It is hard to credit, because Jericho thought so highly of you, and he didn't like the idea at all that I was a lightskirt. He was going to arrange for me to work for you, providing you didn't mind a harlot in your employ. But then, I am your sister, so it is doubtful whether you would have wanted to hire me at all, since you could scarce afford it. It's all rather confusing, don't you think?"

  Shannon's face was ruddy with embarrassment, Noah looked as if his eyes would fall out of his head, Jericho appeared to wish the schooner would sink, and Salem glanced overhead, seeking a higher guidance.

  She looked from man to man and feigned a cough, hiding her satisfied smile behind the back of her hand. Her dizzy speech had not been without its rewards. Her champions looked less as though they wished to stretch Jericho's neck and more as though they pitied him for having spent several days in the sole company of a cork-brained female.

  Salem lowered his eyes, and after a shrewd glance at Rahab, spoke to Jericho. "I'm certain you can appreciate that as much as I'd like to shake her, Rae's still my sister and deserving of my protection. Perhaps you would care to explain why she thinks she is a lightskirt."

  Jericho knew Salem too well not to understand that the invitation he issued was no less than a command. Jericho had used the same tone on any number of occasions, but in this cabin their roles had been reversed. He was answerable to his friend now, and though he wished to give a good account of himself and preserve the friendship, he would not permit himself to deny what had happened with Rahab. She seemed bent on covering the things he had done to her, but Jericho had never hid behind a woman's skirts and he refused to begin now. Neither was he going to allow Rae to be cast as blameless merely because she was a McClellan. It smacked of noblesse oblige, and that he would not tolerate.

  "What other construction would you put on a serving wench in Wolfe's who answered to 'Red' and played the crowd as if she were trodding the boards?" he
asked simply.

  Shannon looked as if he might smash the faint smile hovering about Jericho's lips, but Salem stayed him with a wave of his hand. "You were serving drinks, Rae? Why?"

  She found it odd to be addressed as Rae. She did not doubt that it was her name, but she still felt disconnected from it. "I don't have any idea. I thought you would supply the answer."

  Noah spoke up. "I think questioning her is useless, Salem. She's nearly as blank as a babe. Now, don't go huffy on me, Rae. You know it's true."

  "Noah is one for the truth," Jericho explained to Rae. "When he's not a soldier, your brother is a barrister."

  "Oh." She looked at Noah curiously, wondering why she hadn't known without being told. Out of patience with herself, her eyes dropped to her folded hands. She felt all adrift. She wished she were not sitting alone on the bench with so much space on either side of her. There was nothing to grip, nothing for support, and she seemed to float aimlessly, waiting to attach herself with the tenaciousness of a barnacle to any outstretched hand or a fragment of conversation she could recall and understand.

  Without meaning to, her forlorn expression made Salem's voice unnecessarily sharp. "Do you mean to say, Smith, that Rae never explained herself?"

  "She never had the opportunity. When there was a moment to tender explanations, your sister couldn't remember any. Surely you're aware of the manner in which we left the tavern."

  "I killed a man," she said, tears thick in her throat. "If Jericho had not come to my rescue, I would be hanging by now. It is not right that you treat him with such contempt, not unless you are sorry that he aided me."

  Jericho would have moved to Rae's side, but Salem was quicker. He sat beside her and pulled her into his embrace. She went so naturally, as if by instinct, that Jericho began to understand that a special bond existed between them, one so strong that it could not be erased by Rae's loss of memory. Though nothing showed on his face, Jericho's insides ached as if something had been torn from him. Salem held Rae as surely as the sun held the earth, offering warmth in his arms and light in his tender smile. Jericho looked away, studying the toe of his scuffed boot and praying that his suffering would be short-lived. He had always known he had nothing to offer a decent woman, hadn't he? Hell, he hadn't even been much of a catch when he thought she was a whore.

  Salem's chin was resting on the top of Rae's head and his hand stroked her back while she sobbed quietly into the folds of his linen shirt. His soft voice soothed her, repeating those universal phrases of assurance until she quieted. When she was calm, he turned his attention back to Jericho. "There is still much in the way of explanation for you to offer, Smith, but Rae has reminded me that you did see to her safety when she needed you most. For that I thank you."

  Jericho squirmed. Salem's gratitude was more difficult to accept than his anger. He brushed at a piece of lint on his dark breeches and shrugged indifferently. "I was glad to do it—I think."

  Rae gave him a watery smile. "You're very kind to say so, but I was not a gracious guest, and well you know it." She glanced at Salem. "I was rather ill in the beginning, and Jericho took care of me."

  "God, Rae! Hadn't you and Ashley the sense between you not to behave so foolishly?" His spurt of exasperated anger was lost on Rahab; she was looking at him blankly again. "You don't remember any of it, do you?"

  "What has Ashley to do with this?" Jericho asked. Almost immediately he wished he hadn't put forward the question. Rae's glance was sharp and knowing, and he realized she still misunderstood his feelings for Salem's wife.

  Salem sighed heavily. "Noah, you tell all. You won't make a botch of it." In truth, he hadn't forgiven Ashley for her part in the scheme, and he had no wish to air his personal grievances in front of the others.

  Noah stood and paced the room slowly as he talked, using the persuasive voice he usually reserved for the courtroom. Rae listened attentively, hoping to hear something that would trigger her memory, but the things Noah told them remained unfamiliar, and she was better able to imagine their happening to someone else than to herself.

  She formed a hazy picture of Ashley, harried and anxious, small hands twisting nervously when the crier announced the midnight hour and there was no sign of her. Rae learned that her sister-in-law had not fretted long before she took action. Ashley had sent a trusted servant to Wolfe's, and he had been able to identify Rahab as the barmaid the authorities were searching for. Even at the risk of exposing Salem's Loyalist standing for the sham it was, Ashley had traveled secretly to Washington's camp, hoping to enlist Noah's aid in discovering Rae's whereabouts.

  "Until she met Herr Kroger in the camp, she hadn't a clue about your rescuer," Noah told Rae. "Kroger explained that Smith had offered to take his place at Wolfe's." Here Noah gave Jericho a hard, contemptuous glance. "Of course, we realized she was with you. We were foolish enough to be relieved. Ashley swore you would keep Rae safe until everything calmed." Noah leaned back against the desk, his thumbs hooked in the waistband of his breeches. A self-deriding sneer changed the shape of his full mouth. "More fools we. For the first twenty-four hours we told ourselves it was wise of you to stay away. At thirty-six we wondered that you hadn't seen fit to let us know that she was safe. At forty-eight—"

  "At forty-eight I came home," Salem interjected. His words fell heavily in the room and required no elaboration.

  A half-smile replaced Noah's sneer. "Patience is not a virtue Jerusalem holds in much regard, and I don't think he credited you with as much restraint around Rahab as Ashley did."

  Her face flushed and she dared not look around. Jericho continued to study his boots, unmoved and unaffected. Only the taut planes of his face and a certain grimness about his mouth revealed that Noah's insight stung.

  "Salem remembered the schooner, but when we arrived, it was gone. That did not necessarily ease anyone's mind."

  "I moved it to keep her safe."

  Her. Rae shuddered at Jericho's impersonal reference. She was no longer Red, not even Rae. Merely her. Her insides knotted. If there were ties to be severed, then she would sever them. She interrupted as Noah would have asked Jericho another question and began to detail the events since she had come to the schooner. The version she offered her brothers and Shannon was highly condensed and infinitely amusing. Jericho was portrayed as the complete gentleman, long-suffering and indulgent, as he dealt with the feather-brained strumpet who had some skill with a dagger and a penchant for colorful language.

  "So you see," she finished. "We would have had a rather boring time of it if we had found the message in my skirt at the beginning. Jericho would have understood all and that would have been that. I realize it would have saved much in the way of grief if I had not lost my memory, but Jericho contrived as best he could. I regret that I did not act more wisely when I went to Wolfe's, and certainly I did not want to kill the officer, but I cannot change what has already occurred. Can you forgive me for setting you all to worry?"

  Salem squeezed Rae's shoulders gently. "As long as you have not come to any harm, then all is forgiven." His words encompassed Jericho as well as Rahab, and he felt his sister relax slightly in his embrace. Curious, that. Why was she so determined to protect Jericho Smith? Did gratitude explain it, or perhaps something else, something deeper? "Noah and Shannon have to return to Washington's camp. Smith, the general is expecting you, too. I think you can anticipate a bitter tongue-lashing for not reporting your whereabouts—if he doesn't have you taken out and shot." Salem heard Rae gasp. "I was not serious, Rahab. Smith is highly respected for the work he does. And he has as many lives as a cat. There's no cause to think he can't call on one of them this time."

  "I wasn't worried," she lied. "Will I be returning home with you? What about the authorities?"

  "The British are looking for a barmaid, not my sister. You will be safe at home with Ashley and the children."

  "I gather that means I won't be permitted to carry any more messages."

  Noah laughed. "I always told
Salem you weren't anyone's fool." Some imp made her stick out her tongue at her brother, which caused Noah to smile broadly. "You haven't forgotten all, Rae. You spent most of your childhood pointing that weapon at me."

  "Sure, and it's good to know she's the same colleen she always was," Shannon said heartily.

  Neither Salem nor Noah was certain that was completely true, but they guarded their thoughts. Rae was not up to a brutal confrontation, and Jericho could withstand it. And if they were honest, neither was certain he wanted to hear the truth.

  "I should like to talk to your sister—alone," Jericho said. His tone was a little belligerent, not at all appropriate to a man asking a favor.

  Salem was ready to deny him, but Rahab squeezed his hand and he relented. "A few minutes. I have to get her back soon. Ashley has worried herself sick."

  "I understand." He waited until he and Rae were alone, then he left the bed to sit beside her on the bench. He frowned when she edged away from him. "Why did you do it? Why pretend as if this has all been a lark? You excused my vile behavior and never mentioned what happened here. Your brothers are not stripling lads. They know what happens between a man and a woman."

  "Would you have me tell them that I demanded you lie with me?" she asked sharply. "I will not shame them with the knowledge that their sister is but a whore, after all."

  "I see," he said, sighing. She seemed determined to punish herself. "Then you were not acting on some misguided notion that you were protecting me."

  "Protecting you?" she scoffed. "From what?"

  "Salem and Noah still see you through a brother's eyes. They would not credit your story that you seduced me." Jericho was not certain he believed it himself, nor was he happy that she took all the responsibility for what had happened between them. He had provoked her, treating her like she was a strumpet until she had acted on it. Then, in bed, she had been like no woman he had known, loving him with a completeness that frightened him because it threatened to intrude upon his well-ordered life. "Your brothers would demand that I marry you."