The Big Book of Rogues and Villains

by Otto Penzler

  He was seized with a fit of trembling, and he impatiently tried to break away.

  “You have a reputation for being a square shooter, Jenkins, and for always getting the man who tries to double-cross you.”

  I nodded.

  There in the marble lobby of that trust company, with people all around us, with a special officer walking slowly back and forth, I handed it to this little shyster.

  “All right. You’ve just tried to double-cross me. If you value your life hand me that envelope.”

  He shivered again.

  “W-w-w-what envelope?”

  I gave him no answer, just kept my eyes boring into his, kept his trembling arm in my iron clutch, and kept my face thrust close to his.

  He weakened fast. I could see his sallow skin whiten.

  “Jenkins, I’m sorry. I told her we couldn’t get away with it. It was her idea, not mine.”

  I still said nothing, but kept my eyes on his.

  He reached in his pocket and took out the other envelope. My guess had been right. I knew his type. The rat-like cunning of the idea had unquestionably been his, but he didn’t have the necessary nerve to bluff it through. He had prepared two envelopes. One of them had been signed and sealed before my eyes, but in signing and sealing it he had followed the mental pattern of another envelope which had already been signed and sealed and left in his pocket, an envelope which contained nothing but blank sheets of paper. When he put the envelope with the signed confession into his coat pocket he had placed it back of the dummy envelope. The dummy envelope he had withdrawn and deposited in his “perpetual escrow.”

  I took the envelope from him, broke the seals, and examined the documents. They were intact, the signed, acknowledged confessions.

  I turned back to the shyster.

  “Listen, Atmore. There is a big fee in this for you, a fee from the woman, perhaps from someone else. Go back and tell them that you have blundered, that I have obtained possession of the papers and they will expose you, fire you for a blunderer, make you the laughing stock of every criminal rendezvous in the city. If you keep quiet about this no one will ever know the difference. Speak and you ruin your reputation.”

  I could see a look of relief flood his face, and I knew he would lie to the cat-woman about those papers.

  “Tell Miss Hare I’ll be at the house at nine forty-five on the dot,” I said. “There’s no need of my seeing her again until then.”

  With that I climbed into my roadster, drove to the beach and looked over the house the cat-woman had selected for me. She had given me the address as well as the key at our evening interview, just before I said good night. Of course, she expected me to look the place over.

  It was a small bungalow, the garage opening on to the sidewalk beneath the first floor. I didn’t go in. Inquiry at a gasoline station showed that the neighbors believed Compton was a traveling salesman, away on a trip, but due to return. The blonde had established herself in the community. So much I found out, and so much the cat-woman had expected me to find out.

  Then I started on a line she hadn’t anticipated.

  First I rented a furnished apartment, taking the precaution first to slip on a disguise which had always worked well with me, a disguise which made me appear twenty years older.

  Second, I went to the county clerk’s office, looked over the register of actions, and found a dozen in which the oil magnate had been a party. There were damage suits, quiet title actions, actions on oil leases, and on options. In all of these actions he had been represented by Morton, Huntley, & Morton. I got the address of the lawyers from the records, put up a good stall with their telephone girl, and found myself closeted with old H. F. Morton, senior member of the firm.

  He was a shaggy, grizzled, gray-eyed old campaigner and he had a habit of drumming his fingers on the desk in front of him.

  “What was it you wanted, Mr. Jenkins?”

  I’d removed my disguise and given him my right name. He may or may not have known my original record. He didn’t mention it.

  I shot it to him right between the eyes.

  “If I were the lawyer representing Arthur C. Holton I wouldn’t let him marry Miss Hattie Hare.”

  He never batted an eyelash. His face was as calm as a baby’s. His eyes didn’t even narrow, but there came a change in the tempo of his drumming on the desk.

  “Why?” he asked.

  His tone was mild, casual, but his fingers were going rummy-tum-tum; rummy-tum-tum; rummy-tum-tummy-tum-tummy-tum-tum.

  I shook my head. “I can’t tell you all of it, but she’s in touch with a shyster lawyer planning to cause trouble of some kind.”

  “Ah, yes, Mr.-er-Jenkins. You are a friend of Mr. Holton?”

  I nodded. “He doesn’t know it though.”

  “Ah, yes,” rummy-tum-tum; rummy-tum-tum; “what is it I can do for you in the matter?”

  “Help me prevent the marriage.”

  Rummy-tum-tum; rummy-tum-tum.

  “How?”

  “Give me a little information as a starter. Mr. Holton has a great deal of property?”

  At this his eyes did narrow. The drumming stopped.

  “This is a law office. Not an information bureau.”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “Miss Hare will have her own personal attorney. If the marriage should go through and anything should happen to Mr. Holton another attorney would be in charge of the estate.”

  He squirmed at that, and then recommenced his drumming.

  “Nevertheless, I cannot divulge the confidential affairs of my client. This much is common knowledge. It is street talk, information available to anyone who will take the trouble to look for it. Mr. Holton is a man of great wealth. He owns much property, controls oil producing fields, business property, stocks, bonds. He was married and lost his wife when his child was born. The child was a boy and lived but a few minutes. Mr. Holton created a trust for that child, a trust which terminated with the premature death of the infant. Miss Hare has been connected with him as his secretary and general household executive for several years. Mr. Holton is a man of many enemies, strong character, and few friends. He is hated by the working class, and is hated unjustly, yet he cares nothing for public opinion. He is noted as a collector of jewels and paintings. Of late he has been influenced in many respects by Miss Hare, and has grown very fond of her.

  “How do you propose to prevent his marriage, and what do you know of Miss Hare?”

  I shook my head.

  “I won’t tell you a thing unless you promise to give me all the information I want, and keep me posted.”

  His face darkened. “Such a proposition is unthinkable. It is an insult to a reputable attorney.”

  I knew it, but I made the stall to keep him from finding out that I had all the information I wanted. I only wanted a general slant on Holton’s affairs, and, most of all, I wanted a chance to size up his attorney, to get acquainted with him so he would know me later.

  “Stick an ad in the personal columns of the morning papers if you want to see me about anything,” I said as I made for the door.

  He watched me meditatively. Until I had left the long, book-lined corridor, and emerged from the expensive suite of offices, I could still hear his fingers on the desk.

  Rummy-tum-tum; rummy-tum-tum; rummy-tum-tummy-tum-tummy-tum-tum.

  I went to a hotel, got a room and went to sleep. I was finished with my regular apartment. That was for the police.

  At nine-forty-five I sneaked into the back door of Holton’s house, found one of the extra servants waiting for me, and was shown into a closet near the room where the banquet was taking place. The servant was a crook, but one I couldn’t place. I filed his map away for future reference, and he filed mine.

  Ten minutes passed. I heard something that might or might not have been a muffled scream, shuffling footsteps going down the hall. Silence, the ringing of a bell.

  I stepped to the door of the banquet room, and flung it wide. Standi
ng there on the threshold I took in the scene of hectic gaiety. Holton and the cat-woman sat at the head of the table. Couples in various stages of intoxication were sprinkled about. Servants stood here and there, obsequious, attentive. A man sat slightly apart, a man who had his eyes riveted on the door of an ante-room. He was the detective from the insurance company.

  For a minute I stood there, undiscovered.

  The room was a clatter of conversation. The detective half arose, his eyes on the door of the ante-room. Holton saw me, stopped in the middle of a sentence, and looked me over.

  “Who are you, and what do you want?”

  I handed it out in bunches. “I’m Ed Jenkins, the phantom crook. I’ve got a part of what I want. I’ll come back later for the rest.”

  The detective reached for his hip, and I slammed the door and raced down the corridor. Taking the front steps in a flying leap I jumped into the seat of the powerful speedster, noticed the roomy luggage compartment, the running engine, the low, speedy lines, slammed in the gear, slipped in the clutch, and skidded out of the drive as the detective started firing from the window.

  I didn’t go direct to the beach house.

  On a dark side-road I stopped the car, went back and opened up the luggage compartment and pulled out the bound and gagged girl. She was one I had never seen before, and she was mad. And she was the real Jean Ellery or else I was dumb.

  I packed her around, parked her on the running board, took a seat beside her, left on the gag and the cords, and began to talk. Patiently, step by step, I went over the history of the whole case, telling her everything. When I had finished I cut the cords and removed the gag.

  “Now either beat it, go ahead and scream, or ask questions, whichever you want,” I told her.

  She gave a deep breath, licked her lips, wiped her face with a corner of her party gown, woefully inspected a runner in the expensive stockings, looked at the marks on her wrists where the ropes had bitten, smoothed out her garments and turned to me.

  “I think you’re a liar,” she remarked casually.

  I grinned.

  That’s the way I like ’em. Here this jane had been grabbed, kidnapped, manhandled, jolted, forced to sit on the running board of a car and listen to her kidnapper talk a lot of stuff she naturally wouldn’t believe, and then was given her freedom. Most girls would have fainted. Nearly all of ’em would have screamed and ran when they got loose. Here was a jane who was as cool as a cucumber, who looked over the damage to her clothes, and then called me a liar.

  She was a thin slip of a thing, twenty or so, big, hazel eyes, chestnut hair, slender figure, rosebud mouth, bobbed hair and as unattainable as a girl on a magazine cover.

  “Read this,” I said, and slipped her the confession of the cat-woman.

  She read it in the light of the dash lamp, puckered her forehead a bit, and then handed it back.

  “So you are Ed Jenkins—Why should auntie have wanted me kidnapped?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “That’s what I want to know. It’s the one point in the case that isn’t clear. Want to stick around while I find out?”

  She thought things over for a minute.

  “Am I free to go?”

  I nodded.

  “Guess I’ll stick around then,” she said as she climbed back into the car, snuggling down next to the driver’s seat. “Let’s go.”

  I got in, started the engine, and we went.

  A block from the beach house I slowed up.

  “The house is ahead. Slip out as we go by this palm tree, hide in the shadows and watch what happens. I have an idea you’ll see some action.”

  I slowed down and turned my face toward her, prepared to argue the thing out, but there was no need for argument. She was gathering her skirts about her. As I slowed down she jumped. I drove on to the house, swung the car so it faced the door of the garage and got out.

  I had to walk in front of the headlights to fit the key to the door of the garage, and I was a bit nervous. There was an angle of this thing I couldn’t get, and it worried me. I thought something was due to happen. If there hadn’t been so much money involved I’d have skipped out. As it was, I was playing my cards trying to find out what was in the hand of the cat-woman.

  I found out.

  As though the swinging of the garage door had been a signal, two men jumped out from behind a rosebush and began firing at the luggage compartment of the car.

  They had shotguns, repeaters, and they were shooting chilled buckshot at deadly range through the back of that car. Five times they shot, and then they vanished, running like mad.

  Windows began to gleam with lights, a woman screamed, a man stuck his head out into the night. Around the corner there came the whine of a starting motor, the purr of an automobile engine, the staccato barks of an exhaust and an automobile whined off into the night.

  I backed the speedster, turned it and went back down the street. At the palm tree where I’d left the flapper I slowed down, doubtfully, hardly expecting to see her again.

  There was a flutter of white, a flash of slim legs, and there she was sitting on the seat beside me, her eyes wide, lips parted. “Did you get hurt?”

  I shook my head and jerked my thumb back in the direction of the luggage compartment.

  “Remember, I wasn’t to stop or open that compartment until I got to the beach house,” I said.

  She looked back. The metal was riddled with holes, parts of the body had even been ripped into great, jagged tears.

  “Your beloved auntie didn’t want you kidnapped. She wanted you murdered. Right now she figures that you’re dead, that I am gazing in shocked surprise at the dead body of a girl I’ve kidnapped, the police on my trail, the neighborhood aroused. Naturally she thinks I’ll have my hands full for a while, and that she won’t be bothered with me any more, either with me or with you.”

  The girl nodded.

  “I didn’t say so before, but I’ve been afraid of Aunt Hattie for a long time. It’s an awful thing to say about one’s own aunt, but she’s absolutely selfish, selfish and unscrupulous.”

  I drove along in silence for a while.

  “What are you going to do?” asked the kid.

  “Ditch this car, get off the street, hide out for a few days, and find out what it’s all about. Your aunt tried to double-cross me on a deal where there’s something or other at stake. I intend to find out what. She and I will have our accounting later.”

  She nodded, her chin on her fist, thinking.

  “What are you going to do?”

  She shrugged her shoulders. “Heaven knows. If I go back I’ll probably be killed. Having gone this far, Aunt Hattie can’t afford to fail. She’ll have me killed if I show up. I guess I’ll have to hide out, too.”

  “Hotel?” I asked.

  I could feel her eyes on my face, sizing me up, watching me like a hawk.

  “I can’t get a room in a hotel at this hour of the night in a party dress.”

  I nodded.

  “Ed Jenkins, are you a gentleman?”

  I shook my head. “Hell’s fire, no. I’m a crook.”

  She looked at me and grinned. I could feel my mouth soften a bit.

  “Ed, this is no time to stand on formalities. You know as well as I do that I’m in danger. My aunt believes me dead. If I can keep under cover, leaving her under that impression, I’ll stand a chance. I can’t hide out by myself. Either my aunt or the police would locate me in no time. You’re an experienced crook, you know all the dodges, and I think I can trust you. I’m coming with you.”

  I turned the wheel of the car.

  “All right,” I said. “It’s your best move, but I wanted you to suggest it. Take off those paste diamonds and leave ’em in the car. I’ve got to get rid of this car first, and then we’ll go to my hideout.”

  An hour later I showed her into the apartment. I had run the car off the end of a pier. The watchman was asleep and the car had gurgled down into deep water as neatly as a du
ck. The watchman had heard the splash, but that’s all the good it did him.

  The girl looked around the place.

  “Neat and cozy,” she said. “I’m trusting you, Ed Jenkins. Good night.”

  I grinned.

  “Good night,” I said.

  I slept late the next morning. I was tired. It was the girl who called me.

  “Breakfast’s ready,” she said.

  I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes.

  “Breakfast?”

  She grinned.

  “Yep. I slipped down to the store, bought some fruit and things, and brought you the morning papers.”

  I laughed outright. Here I had kidnapped a girl and now she was cooking me breakfast. She laughed, too.

  “You see, I’m about broke, and I can’t go around in a party dress. I’ve got to touch you for enough money to buy some clothes, and it’s always easier to get money out of a man when he’s well-fed. Aunt Hattie told me that.”

  “You’ve got to be careful about showing yourself, too,” I warned her. “Some one is likely to recognize you.”

  She nodded and handed me the morning paper.

  All over the front page were smeared our pictures, hers and mine. Holton had offered a reward of twenty thousand dollars for my arrest. The insurance company had added another five.

  Without that, I knew the police would be hot on the trail. Their reputation was at stake. They’d leave no stone unturned. Having the girl with me was my best bet. They’d be looking for me alone, or with a girl who was being held a prisoner. They’d hardly expect to find me in a downtown apartment with the girl cooking me breakfast.

  I handed Jean a five-hundred-dollar bill.

  “Go get yourself some clothes. Get quiet ones, but ones that are in style. I’m disguising myself as your father. You look young and chic, wear ’em short, and paint up a bit. Don’t wait, but get started as soon as we eat.”

  She dropped a curtsey.

  “You’re so good to me, Ed,” she said, but there was a wistful note in her voice, and she blinked her eyes rapidly. “Don’t think I don’t appreciate it, either,” she added. “You don’t have to put up with me, and you’re being a real gentleman….”