Stranger in the Mirror [Shades of Heaven] (Soul Change Novel)

by Tina Wainscott

  “Green beans are easy. You just cut the ends off and put them in the steamer.” Helen’s voice broke Marti out of her spell.

  “Hm?”

  “Uh oh, having a hot flash?”

  The warmth of Marti’s cheeks flamed hotter. “H-hot flash?”

  “Pregnant women sometimes have them. Hormones. Your face is all red.”

  Marti waved her hand in front of her face. “It’s the first time it’s ever happened to me. That’s probably what it is.” She flicked a glance to Jesse. Be much safer to believe that.

  Dean stopped by, and after a quick perusal of the surroundings, pushed out his lower lip. “Caty’s not here?”

  “She’s out birthing a cow,” Helen said. “Come on, wash up and I’ll put you to work.”

  They kept everything waiting for Caty until Helen decided the turkey would be dried out if it stayed in the oven any longer.

  When Jesse set the turkey platter on the table, Dean said, “At least we’re not having beef for dinner. Katie’d probably be a little upset after helping that baby cow into the world.”

  Jesse leaned over and whispered in Marti’s ear, “Just ignore him. Everyone else does.”

  Before a single green bean could be dropped onto a plate, they all joined hands for prayer. Jesse’s hand enveloped hers on one side, and Helen took her other one. Billy passed the duty of the “head of the household” onto Jesse, who easily took charge.

  “Dear Jesus, thank you for bringing us here together, our health and sanity intact, Billy notwithstanding. We thank you that Caty is absent from our table only because she’s helping a living thing come into the world.” Marti felt him squeeze her hand as he continued. “We thank you for bringing Marti to us and for giving the tiny baby inside her health as he grows. Amen.”

  Everyone repeated the Amen, and for a moment, four sets of smiling eyes settled upon her. Uncomfortable under their gazes, she reached over to stab a piece of turkey meat.

  CHAPTER 6

  The following Monday was another long struggle of balancing trays. Marti saw a lot of the same people she had seen on Saturday.

  “Don’t these people have anyplace else to eat?” she’d whispered to Caty during the afternoon rush. “The same people keep coming in, day after day, meal after meal.”

  “There’s only two other places in town to eat lunch besides us. At least we offer more variety than Pie in The Sky.”

  “Yeah, well, I guess you can only eat so much pizza.”

  Marti caught Chuck watching her again. Often he seemed to be studying her from his steamy place in the kitchen. Was he just curious about the changes in her work habits? Sometimes she’d look back at him, and he’d grin at her, then resume whatever he’d been doing.

  Jesse was always a welcome visitor, even though he could only order a couple of sandwiches to go today. He sat at the counter and watched her shoulder a tray of meatloaf specials.

  “How’s it going, doll? Any better than your first day?”

  Whenever he called her ‘doll,’ her legs got all jiggly. Which was not good when shouldering a tray of food. Why he could say it so casually and make her go silly boggled her mind. romantic. And you don’t want it that way, do you? Her self didn’t answer, but she was sure she didn’t.

  She tried to remember his question. “Uh, it’s okay. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this kind of work.”

  “Wish I could stay for a while, but it’s busy today at the garage. I’ll see you after work.”

  As he grabbed his white bag, his smile promised more than his words. She was imagining it, of course. That lazy smile, the way he held her hand and called her ‘doll,’ he probably did that to all his women friends. There were no doubt a lot of them, a whole lot of them. She tried to push away the fuzzies dancing in her stomach with reality. And they could have him, because she would be leaving soon.

  Once she and Caty cleaned up everything, they locked up the diner and got into Caty’s compact. She didn’t mind riding with Caty, but Marti resolved to start driving the Accord on her next workday. Jesse’s tinkering with the engine was probably a farce to keep her with someone at all times. A little independence sounded good, and she had the can of tear gas to protect her now, courtesy of Jesse.

  Caty swerved into Harry’s parking lot like a speedster, pulling the compact car up short just before they would hit the building.

  “Do you race cars, too?” Marti asked, prying her fingers off the dash.

  Caty’s eyes sparkled. “Jesse lets me drive his stock-car sometimes. Well, I gotta get ready for a test tonight in class. See you tomorrow.”

  “Yeah, tomorrow. Thanks for the ride.”

  Marti walked into the open bay, but didn’t see Jesse at first. He was talking, his voice muffled. She approached a red Chevy facing the back wall with the hood up. The engine revved, but no one sat in the driver’s seat. When she walked around the hood, she was taken off guard to find a woman leaning on the car peering down into the engine. A tall, lean woman with short brown hair and dark eyes.

  She turned and said, “Hey, Marti. How are you feeling?”

  Before Marti could answer, she heard a scooting noise, and Jesse rolled out from beneath the car. “Desiree stopped in to see how you were doing.” His subtle way of letting her know the woman’s name. But who was the beauty wearing a black tank top and jeans?

  Marti shrugged. “I’m doing pretty good. Considering.”

  Desiree walked around the car and leaned against the side near Marti. “What an awful thing to happen, especially around here. You grow up feeling safe and secure and then something like this happens to rock your boots. Your voice still sounds hoarse, but you look good.”

  Jesse grinned. “She sounds like Demi Moore. I like it, kinda soft and sexy.”

  Marti turned to look at some tools hanging on the pegboard, hoping to hide her uneasiness. “I want my old voice back.” Hallie’s voice.

  “I agree with Jesse. It probably sounds worse to you.”

  Something about Desiree bothered her, but she couldn’t pinpoint it. Maybe the way she moved, confident, hips swaying as she walked toward the bay door. That’s what it was. Desiree reminded her of Hallie, seductive, with a full mouth and soulful eyes.

  Marti watched Jesse’s reaction around Desiree. For some reason, she was curious about his feelings toward her. Why did it make her feel good that he was busy putting his tools away and not watching Desiree’s exit?

  “See you both later,” Desiree said as she walked toward a shiny black Jeep. Her snakeskin cowboy boots kicked up puffs of dust.

  “Who is she?” The strain in her voice was not jealousy. Couldn’t be. Jesse wasn’t even her type.

  “She’s a friend,” he said, glancing up to see her Jeep pull away. “Let me wash up and I’ll be ready to go.”

  Marti wandered around the shop, kicking at a tire, feeling grungy and small compared to Desiree. A spotty mirror concluded what she didn’t want to know: she was absolutely no match for someone like Desiree, someone like Hallie used to be. The part of her so concerned with appearance still lived inside her. She wished it didn’t. Desiree and Jesse looked good together, both tall, Southern. They both fit in here. She certainly didn’t. It bothered her far too much for her comfort.

  His voice broke her out of her thoughts. “Ready?” He came up behind her, smelling of industrial-grade soap. “What’s wrong? You’ve been quiet since you got here.”

  “Long day. Let’s go.”

  What was wrong? she wondered as they drove home. She had been in a good mood until she’d gotten to the garage. Now she was eager to leave, get her new life started.

  When they pulled into the driveway, Bumpus ran out to greet them, barking happily. Strangely enough, his loud happiness at their arrival seemed comforting in that familiar kind of way. Jesse greeted him by grabbing his snout and growling, riling him up even more. Bumpus ran over to Marti and barked, bowing. Yeah, bowing.

  “That’s dog language for ‘pl
ay with me,’” Jesse said.

  Start with the dog. She picked up a nearby rubber bone and tossed it for Bumpus to fetch. She was getting too comfortable here, so much so that Desiree’s presence threatened her on a deep, territorial level. She didn’t even have a territory. No, she had to do something about this comfort level.

  “Jesse, I want to leave in one month.”

  He stopped trying to tug the bone out of Bumpus’s mouth. “What are you talking about?” He looked surprised.

  “You knew I wasn’t going to stay.”

  “Yeah, but I thought you’d stay until you had the baby.”

  “That’s seven months away. Here, I have to play the part of Marti. It’s hard to fit into someone else’s life. I’ll come back before the due date.”

  Jesse strode back to the truck and pulled a manila folder from beneath the seat. “Let’s go inside and talk.”

  She steeled herself to defend her reasons for leaving.

  Jesse sat down at the table. He looked business-like, sifting through papers with a somber expression. She joined him at the table.

  He pulled out a piece of paper, unfolding it carefully. “I talked to the doctor’s office and the insurance company. If the pregnancy is normal, no complications, this is what our bill will be. My bill. The loan officer at the bank said I could qualify for this much money. That leaves a balance of $8,752. I’ll give you the rest if you stay.”

  “You’re buying me off. That’s ridiculous.”

  “What are you going to do, drive that piece of junk of a car out to California with a couple hundred bucks in your pocket? You’ve never lived on your own, have you? I mean really on your own.”

  “No, but I can take care of myself.”

  “That’s not the point. By the time you get there, you’re going to be broke. Where are you going to live, in a homeless shelter? You’re not going to have any money to get your new life started. No money for food, rent, or doctor visits. What if you go into labor early? You want to get out of here so bad, you’re not being realistic.”

  He was right, of course. She hated thinking about reality. In her mind, she was going to make it, no matter what. But she had to deal with reality now. He was being fair. After all, she needed money to get a new start, and that was more than she’d ever be able to save working at the diner, or even seven months.

  “But you’ll be in debt,” she said.

  “That’s my problem. What do you say?”

  She looked at the list of numbers, the calculations on that folded piece of paper. “As soon as I’m released from the hospital, the money’s mine, and I’m free to go?”

  Jesse’s expression hardened. “You can leave and never look back.”

  “You won’t try to convince me to stay and play mommy?”

  He leaned back in the chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “Nope.”

  “Promise me you won’t put a guilt trip on me for leaving. Because this baby wasn’t my decision. I didn’t ask for this.”

  “I promise.”

  Then she had a heart-clenching thought: maybe he didn’t want her in his or the baby’s lives. Gawd, you’re insane.

  She put her hand on her stomach, the baby’s presence still unnoticeable. “Okay, I’ll stay.”

  Marti breathed in deeply. “I love the smell of clothing stores. Seems like forever since I’ve been shopping.”

  Caty eyed her. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone get so excited about shopping. You buy clothes, you wear them. Sometimes you even have to try them on.” She wrinkled her nose at that.

  “I’ve never met a woman who didn’t love shopping. It’s an experience. The excitement of finding a dress that fits perfectly, spotting something outrageously cool that nobody else has. Even better if it’s marked down. It’s absolutely excellent!”

  Marti had talked Caty into going to the Ft. Myers mall that evening. She needed decent clothes. Lugging twenty bags of clothing and merchandise finally satiated her need. She glanced at Caty, who was carrying some of the bags over her shoulder, and grinned. Caty was the first woman friend she’d ever had who hadn’t made her feel competitive. Caty was just as attractive as she was, more so. Yet she wasn’t concerned with one-upping her or pretending to be something she wasn’t. It was a new experience, a true friend.

  Without thinking, she leaned over and gave Caty a sideways hug. “Thanks for keeping me company. Shopping alone isn’t the same.”

  Caty smiled wearily. “No problem. It was different. I’m not sure I’m going to get used to that hair, though.”

  Marti touched the blonde curls, her most impulsive purchase. The hair stylist had done wonders with the straight brown hair using dye that wouldn’t harm the baby. “I thought it would make me feel more like my old self.”

  “Does it?”

  She shook her head. “Not really. But I like it. You don’t though.”

  Caty forced a smile. “Ah, it’s okay. It’s a pretty color.”

  That was another thing; Caty meant what she said. There wasn’t the second-guessing Marti had with Joya.

  Feeling warm and thankful, Marti spotted a shirt she thought would look great on Jesse. “What do you think about this for your brother?” she asked, holding up the purple, teal, and maroon shirt with the swirly design.

  Caty cocked her head. “Hm, I don’t know. It’s not him.”

  Marti took it to the counter. “It’ll do him some good to get out of character once in a while. Look what it’s doing for me.”

  “Well, you’re really out of character. Or out of body.”

  Marti blew out a breath. “Ain’t that the truth.”

  Caty gave her a wry grin. “He’s going to have enough of a time getting used to that hair of yours.”

  “You don’t think he’ll like it?” she asked, handing the clerk her new account information.

  “You’ll have to find out for yourself.”

  “I’m staying, you know,” she said, signing the receipt and cramming the bag in with the rest of her bags.

  “You are? Does Jesse know?”

  “Of course. He’s the one who proposed the deal.”

  “‘The deal’?”

  “He’s going to take out a loan to pay the hospital bills and give me the balance.”

  Caty processed the information, and suddenly her opinion was important.

  Marti turned to her, pausing in the middle of the mall. “Am I a terrible person for taking his offer? For not wanting to stay in the first place? Tell me.”

  She shrugged. “I’m not in the habit of judging people. Everyone has their motives and values. I couldn’t begin to imagine what it’s like being in your shoes. I think I would have stayed to have the baby without the bribe.”

  Guilt weighing her down, Marti found a nearby bench and sat down. “But you have a family, people who love you and whom you can depend on. It’s different for me.”

  “I know it is. You asked my opinion, and I gave it to you. As long as you feel it’s the right thing to do, then it is. You have to trust your gut.”

  That was the problem. Her feelings weren’t particularly thrilled about the deal, and buying a silly shirt wasn’t going to allay the guilt for putting him in debt. But I’m staying here, putting my life on hold for seven months for him. He proposed the deal, so he must think it’s okay.

  “We went to the doctor this morning, Jesse and I.” Marti wanted to change the subject.

  Caty’s smile returned. “Jesse went, too?”

  “He insisted.”

  “He’s going to make a great father.”

  “We heard the baby’s heartbeat. It sounded so fast and loud, kind of like panting.” Marti grinned, then leaned closer to Caty. “You should have seen Jesse’s face. He was like a little kid who just found out he’s getting a pony for his birthday.”

  “Aw, that’s sweet. What did the doctor say?”

  “Well, I’m eleven weeks pregnant, due June twenty-second. Everything’s fine. I think he took half
my blood for all these tests. He prescribed prenatal vitamins and recommended vitamin B for nausea.” She put her hand on her stomach. “Caty, I’m scared. This baby is going to go through so many changes. Things could go wrong.”

  Caty patted Marti’s leg. “Everything will be fine, you’ll see. And Jesse will be there with you. We all will.”

  Wow, the thought of having people to depend on. It’s only because of the baby. For Jesse.

  “Dr. Diehl isn’t going to charge us for his services. He said he owed Jesse a lot because he saved his daughter’s life. Desiree’s life.” She’d been dying to know more but hadn’t felt comfortable enough to ask Jesse at the time.

  “Well, that’s more money for you then,” Caty said in a tight voice.

  “I told Jesse to put the amount he allotted for the doctor back on the loan. I don’t want it. What I do want to know is what he did to save her life. And who is she? To Jesse, I mean.”

  Caty leaned back, a contemplative look on her face. “And you want to know because…”

  “Just curious.”

  “Sure.” Caty nodded. “Jesse and Desiree started dating back when he was in high school. I think part of it was the older woman allure. They were pretty hot and heavy. It wasn’t love so much as lust. That part fizzled out, but they remained friends.

  “About six months later, she up and married some guy who’d just moved into town. Desiree’s new husband wasn’t only crazy about her, he was insane. He beat her up. She tried to hide it, but Jesse saw through that and when he couldn’t talk her into leaving him, he did some checking on the guy. Turns out he was wanted in Kansas for nearly killing his last wife. Desiree didn’t even know he was married before. Jesse notified the police, and they arrested the bastard. Jesse made sure the guy knew he’d better never come back.

  “It took a while for Desiree to get back on her feet, esteem-wise, but Jesse stood by her and talked her into getting counseling. He doesn’t think he did anything special, but I believe he saved her life.”