BOSS

by Ashley John

  “I can’t believe you’re getting married, Violet,” he sipped the tea she made, “you’ve hardly aged a day.”

  “It’s the lighting,” she tossed her blonde locks over her shoulder, “just don’t get too close and we’ll all be fine.”

  They both laughed as Joshua fiddled with his hands. Levi’s face was buried in his phone as if he was waiting for them to get to the fun part.

  “So? Did you look over that thing I found?” Joshua pushed the conversation in the direction of the new will.

  It had been a couple of days since he’d dropped it off with Tobias’ receptionist so he must have cracked it by now.

  “I did,” he nodded, “it’s almost identical to the original one. There are a couple of sections that had been re-worded but it was almost a carbon copy of the original. There was just one major difference.”

  “What?”

  “Well, two major differences,” Tobias passed a photocopy version of the paper over to Joshua.

  His eyes quickly danced to the yellow highlighted section under Article IV.

  ‘I devise, bequeath, and give 10% of my estate to Ezra Steele.’

  “This doesn’t make any sense,” Joshua passed it back, “explain.”

  “He was going to leave 10% of his money to Ezra,” Violet answered for him, “and he wasn’t going to leave me or my mum anything. What an arsehole.”

  “Tobias?” Joshua shot Violet ‘not now’ daggers.

  “Well,” Tobias sipped the tea before ripping off his glasses to wipe them on his lapel, “from what I can figure out, this will was never official. It was never run through any system, that’s probably why you found it in a safe. It was never meant to be seen.”

  “Why? Why would he write it?”

  “As a back-up?” Tobias shrugged, “As a last resort?”

  Joshua’s head was starting to hurt. He hoped eliminating his relationship with Ezra would make him see clearer but it didn’t. He still had no idea what his father had done or where Ezra fit into it all.

  “How did it go from 10% to 100%?” Joshua stood up and started to pace around the coffee table, “How did he manage to convince him to give him more?”

  “That’s what we need to prove,” Tobias snapped his briefcase shut, “but this is a good start. This was dated four days before the final contract, which means something changed in those four days. You need to find out what changed.”

  “How do I do that?” he cried, “There’s nothing at the tower. Ezra isn’t that stupid. If he’s double crossing me, he’s hiding his tracks really well.”

  “What about the other stuff,” Violet cocked her head to the side and widened her eyes, “you have other ways of finding things out.”

  He shot her a final ‘not now’ dagger to shut her up. She slid off the chair arm and onto the Chesterfield, next to Levi, who was glancing up from his phone at regular intervals.

  “What other ways?” Tobias stood up, “If there’s something I don’t know, it’s better that -,”

  “It’s nothing,” he shut him down, “Violet has her wires crossed.”

  “Right,” Tobias nodded as he looked at his phone, “I need to go. The wife’s cooking dinner and she hates it when I’m late. Thanks for the tea and the wedding invitation Violet. I’ll see if I can find cover, but I’m not promising anything.”

  Violet smiled and nodded. They both knew her loose invitation to the wedding had been a gesture of politeness after he noticed the huge rock on her finger.

  “Keep digging, Joshua,” were Tobias’ final words before he disappeared into the late Saturday afternoon heat, “I have a bad feeling about this Ezra Steele.”

  “Don’t get comfy!” Violet jumped up as Joshua settled back into his seat, “You promised you’d come to the church for my marriage counselling meeting.”

  “I did?”

  He vaguely remembered Violet mentioning something about it last night over dinner but he’d been so tired from spending the entire day avoiding Ezra that he didn’t know what he’d been agreeing to.

  “Don’t back out. You can hold the iPad for Christopher.”

  “I’ll hold it over my face so we can just pretend he’s here. Why not go all the way to crazy town.”

  “Shut it!” she held out a warning finger, “This is the last meeting we have before the wedding and there’s only a week to go so I won’t let you ruin this for me!”

  Not wanting to unleash her inner Bridezilla, he slipped into his shoes.

  “You’re not leaving me here again, are you?” Levi whined as his head rolled back on the sofa, “I’ve barely seen you since we got here!”

  “Wank yourself blind,” Joshua shrugged.

  “No need. Found this app called Tinder. It’s like a catalogue for pussy,” he turned his phone around to flash Joshua a screen of a busty brunette at a dangerous angle.

  It didn’t excite him at all, no matter how hard he stared.

  “Just make sure you put a towel down,” Joshua called as he headed out into the hall, “you know what Violet is like.”

  “What am I like?” she scrunched up her face as she ran down the stairs clipping in an earring.

  “Full of sunshine and rainbows,” he winked, “C’mon. When Jesus calls, you don’t keep him waiting.”

  “When you get back,” Levi shouted from the living room as they headed through the front door, “we’re looking at flights. I can’t stay in this place for another second longer.”

  Pretending he didn’t hear him, Joshua headed straight for Violet’s car.

  “You’re going to have to face reality eventually,” she finally spoke as they headed out of Hammersmith and towards the A roads, “Ezra, Levi, London – it’s all going to implode if you don’t come up with a plan.”

  “I have a plan,” turning to look out of the window he watched the world buzz by.

  “Liar.”

  His plan was to get a plan sometime soon. He knew it was stupid but it was all he had. No matter how ruthless he was being to Ezra’s face it didn’t stop the guilt. He’d laugh at himself to dismiss the feeling but it only made him feel worse.

  Unfortunately Joshua, you’re not as cold as your old dad.

  “What if Ezra hasn’t done anything wrong?”

  It was as if she’d just plucked that thought straight from Joshua’s head. It was always in the back of his mind, screaming to him. Was it his gut, or was it just his conscience?

  “And what if he has?” Joshua shot back rather childishly, “I need to know.”

  “So you can pull the rug from under Ezra’s feet?”

  “Exactly.”

  Violet sped up to forcefully overtake an old man in a Clio. She kept looking to Joshua but he was pretending not to notice.

  “I don’t know why you’re pretending to be the tough guy,” she pursed her lips, “you’re not him.”

  “Who?”

  He already knew the answer.

  “You’re not your dad. You don’t need to try so hard. You’re a good guy.”

  “Whatever,” he shrugged off her accusations, “good guys finish last.”

  She let out a harsh laugh devoid of humour and it turned Joshua’s skin cold.

  “You’re just trying to hide how much you want to have sex with Ezra by being Billy Big Bollocks.”

  For once, Violet, I don’t want your mirror of shame held up in front of my fucking face.

  “Where are we even going?” Joshua looked around as they drove past Paddington Station.

  “Hackney,” she rolled her eyes, “don’t ask. Christopher grew up there and his family was quite, persuasive.”

  “You’re getting married in Hackney?” he couldn’t help but laugh, “You kept that quiet. I know you said he was a Hackney boy, but actually getting married there? That’s a step down for you.”

  “Hackney boy turned investment banker, thank you,” she stiffened her spine along with her upper lip, “besides, where’s your Ezra from? An accent like that is a little
rough.”

  “He’s not my Ezra.”

  He is from Hackney though.

  “If you like him,” she sighed, “don’t let all of this legal crap get in the way, yeah? I know Tobias thinks you’re onto something and maybe you are but what are you going to lose to win?”

  “I’ve already lost everything. That’s the whole point.”

  “You’ve lost something that was never yours,” he could hear how frustrated she was getting with him, “imagine if your dad didn’t die now. He was only fifty-nine. He could have lived for another forty years if he was luckier. Would you be acting like this if he did this when you were sixty?”

  “That’s not the -,”

  “Yes or no.”

  “But -,”

  “Just answer the question!”

  No.

  “Yes.”

  “Liar.”

  “Whatever,” he puffed out his chest, “this conversation is boring me.”

  “Only because you know I’m right,” she jabbed him in the arm, “you should always listen to me because I’m rarely ever wrong about these things.”

  “Women’s intuition?”

  “Something like that,” she winked, “just don’t lose your heart for the sake of your head.”

  Her words stung like salt in a wound. She didn’t know how conflicted he was because he hoped pretending to her that he was ruthless would make it real. It wasn’t working. He just wanted her to drop the conversation so he could clearly focus on what Tobias had told him.

  “My heart isn’t involved,” the lie was bitter on his tongue.

  “Liar!” she said again, “Lies, lies, lies! Do you remember Katrina Devourt?”

  Katrina Devourt was his teenage crush. She was the hottest girl in their friend group but she was madly in love with Billy Bartle, who naturally became Joshua’s number one enemy, even though they had been best friends growing up. They never made up, even when Katrina dumped him for a girl.

  “This isn’t the same.”

  “It is!” she laughed, “You’re repeating history because you’re a dumb man. You’re like a caveman, just reacting blindly to everything. Somebody challenges you so you beat your chest, grunt, scratch your balls, sniff your fingers and fight the biggest thing you can find even if you don’t stand a chance.”

  “You’ve lost the plot,” he jabbed her back in the arm, “you’re speaking in tongues.”

  “Katrina is your inheritance and Billy is Ezra. You’re lusting over something you shouldn’t have and you’re ignoring what you could have.”

  Her words sounded stupid on the surface, but they hit Joshua so hard in the chest he spent the rest of the journey in silence. He thought back to how devastated he’d been about losing his friend over something as silly as a girl. They had both said dumb things about each other and things escalated into a full-blown war. Was that exactly what he was doing again? Was he sacrificing Ezra for money?

  Did he even have Ezra? It was just a sexual attraction, wasn’t it? There was nothing between them and if his father hadn’t linked them, it would have just been one stupid night at The Dorchester. He would have forgotten all about Ezra and he’d never have thought about him again.

  And yet, he’d spent the days between seeing him at The Dorchester and seeing him at the diner thinking of nothing else. He’d wanted so badly to see him, to talk to him. It was stupid. He knew that. It was immature. He was lusting over him because he was something new and unexplored. You’ve explored, so why can’t you give it up? He wanted more. He needed more.

  “That car,” Violet nodded to the yellow Lamborghini Huracan in the car park outside St. John of Jerusalem Church, “what do you think the chances of two people in London having that car?”

  “Pretty common car, isn’t it?” he gulped, his throat as dry as sand paper.

  “Oh, Joshua,” she sighed as she pulled up beside it, “you’ll tell yourself any lie, won’t you?”

  As they climbed out of the car, he hoped, just hoped that this time, it was a lie worth believing in. Why is he around every corner?

  “Jade?” Ezra kicked her foot, “Jade, get up.”

  She stirred for a second before rolling over to hug her vodka bottle, squashing Ezra’s lilies in the process. They were the only fresh flowers on her grave.

  “Piss off,” she attempted to spit at his feet but it just dribbled along her chin.

  She looked and smelled unwashed. Her brown hair was ratty, her face looked dirty and her clothes looked like they needed burning. Gone was the sweet girl he’d fallen in love with in school. She’d always cared so much about how she looked but the woman at his feet clearly had no fucks to give.

  “Why did you call me?” he planted his hands on his hips, “It’s my first day off all week and you had to fucking call me.”

  “Busy?” she snorted, “Balls deep?”

  It was probably the first day off in a long time that he hadn’t spent like that. Joshua had temporarily turned him off men all together.

  “Up,” he looped his arm under hers, “get up. Help me out here.”

  Using Lily’s grave as a hoist, she stumbled to her feet with the vodka bottle still tightly in her fingers. She stumbled on the spot appearing to have lost function of her knees and ankles but her fingers were working perfectly.

  “It’s getting so close,” she screwed up her face and stroked the stone, “I bet you didn’t even know.”

  It took all of his strength not to leave there and then. Something kept him watching her pathetically hurl insults at him.

  “White lilies,” he picked them up and tried to rescue the ones she hadn’t squashed, “every year I bring white lilies.”

  “That’s you?” she staggered sideways.

  You know it’s me. I’m the only one who bothers to bring flowers here.

  “I’ll take you home,” it was a reluctant offer, “how long have you been here?”

  He tried to reach out to help her but her uncut nails struck his skin. Blood instantly rose to the surface of his hand in four neat lines.

  “Fuck you,” he wiped it on the back of his jeans, thankful they were black, “I didn’t have to come here. Fuck you, Jade.”

  He turned, ready to leave her to continue spiralling but a soft whimper broke through the grim exterior freezing him to the spot.

  “I – just -,” she choked on her tears as they all tried to come at once.

  Clear streaks ran down her cheeks, clearing away the dirt from sleeping in the grass. He wanted to reach out, to take her in his arms but he stopped himself.

  “C’mon,” he inhaled deeply, “I’ll take you back to mine. You can get cleaned up.”

  She shook her head, rubbing the tears bitterly away with the cuff of her jacket. Her hands ran tightly through her hair, slicking it back to her scalp and for a fleeting moment, she looked like she was semi aware of what was going on around her.

  “No parent should lose a child,” she snarled.

  He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say to that. Was he meant to pretend he hadn’t gone through the same thing she had just so he could extend her five-year pity party? He’d held back for five years. Could he really do it for much longer?

  “She was my daughter too,” he swallowed the dry lump in his throat, “I lost her too.”

  As the tears forced their way forwards, he looked up to the sky to try and force them back in. It was a beautiful day and he could hear birds chirping delightfully as the breeze licked his face.

  “It’s your fault,” she thrashed her fists against his chest, “if you hadn’t -,”

  She broke down, collapsing into his shirt. He didn’t know what to do. It had been so long since he’d hugged her. He wanted to remain his calm and casual self, always in control of what he was doing but he lost control. Pulling her in close, he let her have her moment.

  It didn’t last long before she pushed herself away. After a quick swig of her vodka, she was ready to go back to how she’d been for five y
ears.

  “If you weren’t out fucking that guy, this wouldn’t have happened.”

  He’d been waiting for it. The accusation and blame he’d had to live with. The guilt he got every time he lay with another man in bed. It would always transport him back to that night. What if I could have changed things? What if I could have saved my daughter?

  Clenching his fists behind his back, he was tired of having to take the blame.

  “You were drunk,” he said calmly, “you fell asleep smoking a joint with our daughter in the other room. You started the fire, not me.”

  She spat her venom at his feet again, some of it hitting his shoe.

  “No,” she shook her head, “you should have been there. You could have got her out.”

  “Because you were too wasted to?”

  She shook her head again, clamping her hands over her ears.

  “You should have -,”

  “Jade!” the angry shout left Ezra’s mouth before he knew how to silence it, “Stop! This has gone on for too long.”

  She wasn’t listening. Staggering forwards, she bent down by their daughter’s grave to kiss the picture he’d replaced only a couple of days ago. Didn’t she wonder where the fresh pictures always came from?

  “You slept with men behind my back,” she slurred, “and you paid for it.”

  Another knife twisted in his gut. She’d always known what to say to hit him where it hurt.

  “This wasn’t some act of God, Jade. We both fucked up here. Don’t pretend like you weren’t fucking Brian O’Donney every chance you got.”

  She shot him a look that read ‘how did you know?’ but he was five years too late. They had been high school sweethearts who married far too quickly. Their relationship would have died out long before it did if she hadn’t fallen pregnant.

  “Fuck you,” she mumbled, “Fuck you.”

  “Go home, Jade,” he pinched between his eyes, “this is our daughter’s grave.”

  She stood up and he thought she was going to take his advice. Instead, she launched herself at him. He felt her nails dig into his neck. Hot blood quickly trickled between his skin and shirt as he struggled to restrain her. Picking her up around the waist, he carried her towards his car.