Forth into Light

by Gordon Merrick

  He had come close to breaking through to Mike. He was sure of it. When he found another Mike, he would be sure enough of himself to play his part more skillfully. Above all, he would avoid threesomes. The bursts of laughter and cries of passion were continuing. He wanted to leave, but his clothes were in the other room.

  He was suddenly conscious of silence. It seemed to go on a long time while he remained propped against the basin, his head bowed waiting. Mike had probably forgotten he existed.

  There were sounds of movement finally and, in another moment, Mike entered the bathroom. Jeff expected him to be altered, shaken in some way by what had sounded like a tumultuous and ecstatic encounter, but he looked just the same, the same detached, slightly amused expression on his face. It was the final blow to Jeff’s hopes of holding his interest. Nobody could touch Mike.

  “That’s quite a——” he began, but Jeff ducked past him and hurried out, closing his ears to whatever he was saying.

  He made for his clothes, irrationally determined to go with Mike or, if Mike stayed, to go alone and wait for him outside. Dimitri was standing by the bed, doing something with a towel. He dropped it onto the floor and glided toward Jeff, swaying his narrow hips, smiling with complicity. They had been had by the same man. He was a note of grace in the squalor they had created in the room, the soiled and rumpled sheets, the discarded towels, the lubricant open on the bedside table. So much for dreams; at least this was really happening.

  Dimitri stood in front of him and ran the tip of a forefinger down the middle of his body, from chest to navel to quiescent sex. “There is still this for me,” he said, running the tip of his finger up and down on it. “I think it will not stay like this for long.”

  Jeff hesitated, seeing Dimitri’s modest but shapely sex stir into life. Mike would come in at any moment. He didn’t want to be found still climbing in and out of bed. Why not? Mike didn’t care. Mike had had him. There was the consolation of Dimitri’s beauty and his conscienceless but comradely eyes. Jeff was already so accustomed to their promiscuous nakedness that he felt no self-consciousness, not even at being seen in an unexcited state. What difference did it make if he didn’t get an erection? The torments Dimitri had caused him seemed very remote. He remembered with a jolt the important talk he must have with him. He couldn’t leave with Mike. He put an arm around the lovely torso and let a hand stray over the smooth tanned skin of the chest as they returned to the bed and stretched out together.

  Dimitri held him and played with his hair. “So. Now we have shared our first lover,” he said contentedly. “He’s a fine man, his cock not so big as some but very exciting. You think so?”

  “Sure. I don’t know why I haven’t tried it before.” Jeff still wondered about the preoccupation with size. He had always dreamed in colossal terms, but he would gladly be taken by Dimitri no matter how obvious it might be that it would be more exciting in the mind than in fact. He could wish even Mike, who had felt enormous in him, had been able to drive still deeper into him to make his conquest more immense. There was no end to it. “I guess we’re a lot alike. I’ve always been fascinated by cocks. I haven’t seen as many as I pretended. Yours is beautiful.”

  “Ah? You are my sister now?” Dimitri burst into his cheerful mindless laughter. “We’ll share other lovers, perhaps. Even sisters can have much pleasure together.”

  Jeff supposed he should resent being referred to in the feminine gender, but he didn’t. There was a sort of truth in it. Peter would doubtless disapprove, but Peter and Charlie represented an ideal, remote and perhaps unattainable. He couldn’t blame Dimitri for offering himself to every man who came along. It was a manifestation of the gift they shared. “It’s wonderful being with you like this after chasing you so long.”

  “Even if my sister is not so much in love with me any more?” Dimitri laughed again and pulled Jeff’s head down and opened his mouth to be kissed. He did exciting things with his tongue while his hands strayed teasingly over Jeff’s body. In a moment Jeff’s sex was standing upright against him. Dimitri felt for it and purred and wriggled down and knelt between his legs and crouched over it and took it in his mouth.

  Mike reentered the room. Jeff made a quick movement of his hand to pull Dimitri’s head away, but reconsidered and dropped it caressingly on the crisp curls. Mike had been quick enough to dispose of Dimitri at the beginning. Perhaps seeing them like this would impel him to take charge of him again. Nothing else had worked. He looked at Mike and waited for their eyes to meet, his heart suddenly beating rapidly. Mike surveyed the activity on the bed and then lifted his eyes to Jeff’s with a look of slightly scornful amusement. For an instant, Jeff saw deep in the look a summons that almost brought him leaping from the bed. It was gone so quickly that Jeff almost believed he had imagined it.

  Jeff tugged at the head that was bowed over him. Dimitri straightened and registered Mike’s presence and giggled. “We have company,” he said unconcernedly.

  Jeff leaned forward and held him in the kneeling position and drew him toward him, watching the neatly elegant erection bob about with Dimitri’s movements. He knew exactly the picture he wanted to compose. He hunched himself up against the pillows when Dimitri reached him so that his mouth was on a level with the cock. Yes, cock, he thought determinedly, adopting plain words. He put his arm around Dimitri’s hips and held him close and directed the cock with one finger so that it brushed against his open lips. He let his tongue play over it while he darted quick glances at Mike, watching clothes transform the tough, intimately known body into the elegant figure of the famous Michael Cochran. It was insane to suppose he could make this formidable celebrity jealous, but he was going to do his best. He thought he had found the key. Why did Mike keep himself turned slightly sideways to them? He said he liked to watch. Why didn’t he watch?

  Dimitri was cooperating by uttering brief giggles and little purring sounds of pleasure. If it weren’t for Mike, he wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off the exquisite cock. It wasn’t monumental, but it summoned him to worship. He leaned forward and took all of it in his mouth until his lips brushed against soft pubic hair. You couldn’t do that with a monument. He drew back slowly and saw out of the corner of his eye that Mike was turning to them at last. He held the cock in his mouth another instant so that Mike would see and then released it. His breath caught with a gasp as their eyes met. The summons was there, unequivocal, boring into him. Jeff’s eyes widened and he felt as if they were flooded with acquiescence to Mike’s will. He had to struggle to keep himself from springing up to him. Mike would be bored by an easy victory.

  Keeping his eyes on him, his heart racing, Jeff deliberately hoisted himself into a more nearly sitting position and pulled Dimitri down to him so that he held him nestled against his side. He moved Dimitri’s hand to his sex and Dimitri obligingly lifted it away from his belly and began to stroke it.

  Mike had resumed his mask, but Jeff could see that it was far from secure. He joined his hand to Dimitri’s and moved it lazily over himself and challenged Mike with his eyes.

  “Very pretty,” Mike said with sardonic amusement. “I admire your youthful endurance.”

  “I have to——” Jeff blurted out before he could stop himself. He wanted to say that he had to stay and talk to Dimitri, but apologetic explanations wouldn’t do. “I’ll see you later,” he said, between statement and question, and was delighted at how assured he sounded.

  “Later?” Mike repeated. “I have a date at noon. Come by after lunch if you like. Both of you. Now that we all know each other, we might have a delightfully depraved hour together before I go. Ta.” He performed impeccably. He gave Jeff a meaningless wink before he turned and strolled to the door.

  Jeff felt all his muscles gathering to leap up and follow him. He turned quickly to Dimitri and engaged his mouth in a long kiss while he absorbed the shock of letting Mike leave without him. He would rejoin him in a few minutes as soon as he had done his duty. Mike wanted him. Jeff had
found the way to break down his reserve. His imagination made a great leap into the future; if Mike were jealous, anything could happen.

  His thoughts were suspended in the pleasure of the kiss. He was amazed at the warmth generated by physical contact. He had never expected to find comfort and affection with Dimitri. Mike’s watching had intensified the excitement of holding him, but it was sweet holding him now. He was glad to have a sister. If Mike hadn’t come along, they might even have worked out some kind of relationship. He would have to tell Dimitri he wouldn’t share Mike again. He relinquished the soft welcoming mouth with regret.

  Dimitri laughed and squeezed his sex. “It’s very hard, maybe bigger than Mike’s, I think. You were so quick before, but it felt very wonderful in me. You can fuck me for a very long time and we will be happy, just the two of us.”

  “Yes, I want to, but first we’ve got to talk,” Jeff said distractedly. It was very difficult to think clearly while they were entwined with each other. He ran a hand down his neck and over a shoulder and down his chest, caressing the small nipples. He could feel beauty. The way spare flesh was laid over the perfect symmetry of the frame was a tactile delight. If Dimitri made a move to take him, he wouldn’t be able to think at all. He took a deep breath and made a determined effort to discharge his duty. “I’ve been worrying all day. We’ve got to get the money back to my father.”

  A petulant look marred the bland mindlessness of Dimitri’s handsome face. “The money? It’s not going to be easy until everything is quiet again. Yes, bigger than Mike’s. Oh, my Jeff. I’ve arranged things with Sid. Maybe he will be able to help. What can I do if the police watch me?”

  “They’ll stop watching you if we stick to what you said. You promised you wouldn’t keep the money for more than twenty-four hours.” He held Dimitri’s arm to stop the insinuating movements of his hand.

  “But my Jeff, what can I do if I cannot do my business? You know all about my money.”

  “Not all. I know you must have a lot put away somewhere.”

  Dimitri’s smile grew complacent and he lowered his eyelids and swayed his head forward languorously and touched one of Jeff’s nipples with his tongue. “What I have put away is not easy to get in my hands. That is why I let you give me your father’s money. You insisted it was all right.”

  “It was, but don’t you understand? It’s important for you, too.” He gripped the curls and pulled Dimitri’s head up to face him. “Unless I fix it so that Dad finds the money in the morning, there’s no telling what the police will do with Costa. They’ve got to let him go. You promised.”

  “But all is different. Don’t worry. A week, maybe two, all is all right again.”

  “A week’s too long,” Jeff protested. Surely, Dimitri must feel his anxiety. Their physical intimacy must have struck some chord in him of concern for each other. He mustn’t let himself get rattled. His emotions had been battered by the secret struggle with Mike. Dimitri couldn’t know how close he was to going to pieces. Hysterical pleas would simply glance off his decorative surface. Jeff made an effort to speak calmly. “I know you could get sixty thousand if you had to. That’s why I wasn’t worried about letting you have it for a day. You know I had no intention of really taking it.”

  “We both know why you let me have it.” Dimitri wriggled his way in closer to Jeff and stretched against him voluptuously. “Maybe Sid will have an idea in the morning. Now you have what you want. Why not enjoy it? Your cock is very ready. Talk about promises. Why don’t you do what you say you do?”

  “Not yet. Please. I want to, but we’ve got to get this settled.”

  “You suck my cock very nicely, if you don’t want the other.”

  “You know how much I’ve wanted you. You’re divine. It’s thrilling to see you naked at last and having you with me like this. Please don’t spoil it by acting as if you don’t care about our agreement.”

  Dimitri smiled mischievously and dropped his head onto his shoulder and ran his tongue around his ear. “You will suck my cock nicely and I will suck yours. I like that very much. We will be sisters again. If you are very good, maybe it will make me think of a way to give your money back.”

  He went into action, laughing, wrestling Jeff’s hips down onto the bed. His cock bobbed enticingly close to Jeff’s mouth. Dimitri’s mouth was on his and then he dropped down beside him and they were joined in mutual worship of each other’s manhood. Perhaps this was the only way to win Dimitri over; threats were empty and might turn him stubborn.

  Jeff thought he heard a sound downstairs and held himself motionless for an instant. Had Mike waited for him? He must hurry. He ran a hand over Dimitri’s buttocks and trailed caressing fingers between them. Dimitri’s hips leaped and he chortled with pleasure and his sex jumped about in Jeff’s mouth. Jeff rolled his tongue around it hungrily, hungry for its essence. Peter wouldn’t have had to tell him to swallow it. He wanted to savor the taste of it and drink it in. He knew all aspects of his craving now. He would learn how to perfect his gift. Dimitri’s expert mouth was making his breath catch and stimulating his appetite for the silken flesh that darted between his lips.

  He heard what sounded like a door opening, but even if it were Mike returning the wonder of knowing a man in this way gripped him too deeply for him to think of stopping.

  “Jeff,” Dimitri cried out and the voracious contact was abruptly broken. He tore himself away and was out of the bed, dragging a sheet with him.

  His mouth still open, Jeff swung his head and, his vision blurred and disbelieving, saw two policemen he knew standing near the door. Dimitri had draped himself in the sheet and was shouting at them shrilly.

  Jeff reared up and flung his legs over the side of the bed and started to spring to his feet, but realized he had nothing to cover himself. He fell back and hugged himself to make himself invisible and to control the tremors that had begun to shake him. His cheeks were burning. Had he been committing a criminal act? He didn’t know the Greek law. He would never be able to face his family again. He would be branded for life. He sat huddled up on the edge of the bed and tried to force himself to grasp what was being said behind him while his heart hammered against his ribs and his trembling became uncontrollable.

  The belligerence in Dimitri’s voice was reassuring. The policemen sounded embarrassed but determined. Slowly, Jeff was able to listen coherently. From a jeering remark, it appeared that Dimitri had been intimate with one or perhaps both of them. Jeff’s hopes rose. A few more exchanges revealed that they had accepted Jeff’s invisibility. The beating of his heart slowly subsided. They had come to arrest Dimitri on a drug charge. Dimitri suggested with a sneer that they search the place. Their orders were to seal the bar and take Dimitri to the station house. A thorough search would be made in the morning. The conversation became sporadic and Jeff was aware of Dimitri moving about the room, going to the bathroom and returning. When he came around the end of the bed he was once more superb in tight trousers and sheer shirt. He handed Jeff his clothes.

  “You heard all that?” He shrugged contemptuously but without alarm. “You must leave. They wish to close the place officially for a search. Poor silly men. I will make great trouble when they find I am innocent.”

  Jeff pulled on his clothes without rising. When he was covered he stood and took care of the final tucking and fastening. Dimitri moved in close to him.

  “You know who I said,” he murmured without moving his lips. “The Jew. Go in the morning.”

  Jeff looked at him and nodded. He forced himself to turn and slouched toward the door, his head down. The policemen greeted him as if he had materialized from nowhere. He mumbled a reply, but was unable to look at them. Once on the stairs, he hurtled down them and rushed out into the night. He broke into a trot as he headed for the new hotel. Mike couldn’t turn him away now. He had an excuse for seeking aid and advice.

  A somnolent clerk gave him the room number. He leaped upstairs. The door opened in response to his light kno
ck. Mike stood in it, wearing a short, belted thigh-length linen gown or jacket. He looked briefly astonished and then a number of transformations took place behind the veil of his eyes which Jeff couldn’t interpret, but which he counted to his advantage. Neither boredom nor dismissal had been part of them. He longed to be taken in his arms or at least touched in some way, but Mike only opened the door wider and stood aside to let him in.

  “So soon,” he said, closing the door behind him. “I rather expected you, but not till morning. You looked very agreeably occupied.”

  “You know that didn’t mean anything, but it doesn’t matter. I have to speak to you.” Jeff saw that the bed hadn’t been touched yet. He went to it and dropped down on it and looked up at Mike. Away from the atmosphere of indiscriminate sex in Dimitri’s room, he found it hard to believe that this man had made love to him. The short robe was very becoming. He looked handsome and expensive and far too worldly for an eighteen-year-old boy. “Dimitri’s been arrested.”

  “What an extraordinary place this is. How do you mean?”

  “Just now. The police walked in when we were——They locked up his place and took him away. It’s about dope.”

  “I see. There were a couple of policemen standing outside when I left. Do you use dope?”

  “No.”

  “Are you in trouble too?”

  “No.” He dropped back across the bed and propped himself on his elbows and spread his legs in front of him and looked up at Mike with his chin lifted, willing him to come sit beside him. The brutal interruption with Dimitri had left all his nerves on edge. Mike stayed where he was standing as if he expected this to be a short visit. “Are you really leaving tomorrow?” Jeff asked. “Well, I mean—I guess I mean today.”

  “Yes. I understand there’s an afternoon boat.”

  Jeff heaved a long complicated sigh that caught several times in his chest before it was done. He was suddenly confronting the biggest moment of his life. Just keep it businesslike he warned himself. “Can I go with you? I mean it. No—wait a minute. I’m going to the States in the fall anyway. All you have to do is pay for my trip and let me stay with you until school starts. I’ll have my own money then. We could be lovers. Nobody would think it peculiar for you to have George Leighton’s son with you.”