Desert Stars

by Joe Vasicek

  Mira walked alone to her older sister’s tent. Before the pilgrimage, she might have considered the long walk a bit of an ordeal; now, it was nothing. She entered without knocking and loosened her headscarf, letting her hair spill out over her shoulders. Mazhar was out on a scouting expedition, so there was no danger of running into him here.

  “Lena?” she called out, taking off her shoes as she stepped over the green-carpeted threshold. Green was a Jabaliyn color—the rug must have come from Mazhar’s family.

  “Mira!” came Lena’s excited voice from the back of the tent. Within seconds she appeared in the hallway, arms outstretched.

  “Welcome, welcome!” she cried, embracing Mira and kissing her nearly half a dozen times on both cheeks. “How are you? How is your health? It’s so good to see you, my darling sister!”

  “Very well, praise Allah, and to you as well,” said Mira, returning the warm welcome in kind. As she leaned forward to kiss Lena’s cheek, however, she was careful not to bump into her swollen stomach. Lena was only a few months pregnant, but it had already started to show.

  “Please, come in!” said Lena, leading her into the front room. In spite of their humble circumstances, a gold-embroidered carpet covered the dusty floor, while an ornate stained glass chandelier cast a dim but sufficient light. Mira took her seat on one of two reclining couches, while Lena hurried out of the room, no doubt to get some refreshments.

  “Would you like coffee or tea?” she called out.

  “Oh, please, I couldn’t—”

  “No, I insist! What will it be?”

  “Perhaps a little tea,” said Mira. “Not too hot, of course.”

  “Of course.”

  Mira glanced around the room while Lena prepared their drinks. She and Mazhar certainly hadn’t lost any time in decorating the place. A stuffed falcon perched on an end table in the corner, its magnificent wings outstretched with its beak open in a silent yet eternal shriek. Silken flags and religious banners draped the walls, while an image of the Temple of a Thousand Suns hung prominently at the head of the room, carved from ivory and inlaid with silver. The image was so realistic that it caught Mira off guard for a moment, giving her flashbacks of the final leg of her journey there with Jalil. She swallowed and tried to keep her memories of the place bottled up, with little success.

  “Here you are,” said Lena, bringing out a tray with two ceramic white cups and a tea kettle, as well as a plate of dry biscuits. She set the tray on the floor and poured the tea, handing Mira the first cup before taking her own.

  “It’s been so long since I last saw you,” Lena said, taking her seat on the other couch. “How have you been?”

  “Well enough, praise Allah,” said Mira, sipping her tea. It was perfect—full of flavor, yet not too thick or too warm.

  “Praise Allah,” Lena concurred. “Do you like the blend?”

  “It’s absolutely delicious.”

  Lena beamed. “Mazhar says it was grown in a place called Aliet Dome,” she said. “I understand you passed through there on your way to the temple.”

  “Yes, we—I did.”

  “What was it like?”

  Mira paused, wondering where to start. For some reason, all she could think about was the night with Jalil on the balcony of Sarah’s house, huddled together for warmth as the light from the dome mingled with that of the stars and satellites.

  “It’s—big,” she said softly. “As big as a world. And the landscape is completely green, like this carpet.”

  Lena laughed. “Green ground? How can that be?”

  “Not the ground, but the plants. They grow so thick, you can’t see the ground except where it’s rocky. And in some places, there’s water—as much water as we can hold in our cistern, and more. The air is so wet and cool, it never feels dry, even with the sun beating down on it all day.”

  “It sounds exotic,” said Lena. “I should like to go there some day.” She smiled and nodded, but from the look on her face, Mira’s words had clearly gone over her head.

  “It’s beautiful,” said Mira, giving up on any further attempt at explanation. She took a biscuit and ate it slowly.

  “Of course,” Lena added, “I wouldn’t want to live there. In that regard, things worked out very well for me, praise Allah—though I wish I could say the same for you.”

  Mira recognized the veiled reference to Jalil. “Yes,” she said, “though things could certainly be worse.”

  “Yes, they could,” said Lena. “You’re fortunate that Sathi arranged for you to marry Ibrahim so quickly.” She gave a meaningful look at Mira’s stomach.

  Why does everyone assume that I’m pregnant with Jalil’s child? Mira wondered with some consternation. Why is Tiera the only one who believes me when I say I never slept with him?

  “I don’t know,” Mira said softly. She bit her lip, wondering how to broach the subject.

  “Don’t know? What could possibly be left to wonder about?”

  “Well, Tiera told me—”

  “Oh Tiera, always up to some mischief,” said Lena, rolling her eyes. “She almost ruined my wedding day, you know. Don’t let her ruin yours.”

  “I don’t think she wants to,” said Mira. “She seems to mean well, and—”

  “If she truly meant well, she wouldn’t discourage you from this marriage. Ibrahim may have his flaws, but he’s a wealthy cousin with an honorable reputation. If you turn him down, you may never get another chance like this, especially how—and pardon me for putting it so bluntly—tainted your honor is.”

  “I don’t know,” Mira said.

  Lena gave her a puzzled look. “Are you sure it’s safe to wait? Children grow quickly, Mira—not long, and your belly will look like mine.”

  “No, it won’t,” Mira whispered. “I’m—I’m not pregnant.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.”

  Lena stared at her, but not in disbelief. “Then do you mind me asking you some frank questions, sister to sister?”

  Mira took a deep breath. “No, not at all.”

  Lena glanced in either direction before leaning forward so that her mouth was only a few feet from Mira’s ear.

  “What exactly happened between you and Jalil?” she asked. “Did you share the same bed?”

  “Only once, but—”

  “Once is enough,” she said, patting her swollen stomach. “Believe me.”

  “I know,” said Mira, her cheeks blushing. “But we never, well—”

  “You never made love?”

  “No,” Mira whispered. “We didn’t.”

  Lena nodded. “I see.”

  “You believe me?”

  “Yes.”

  Mira’s heart leaped in her chest. “You do?”

  “Yes.” Lena sank on her couch, sprawling out comfortably on her side. “I never thought Jalil was the kind of man to run away from a girl after shaming her. No, I believe you.”

  “Oh, thank you!” Mira exclaimed.

  “Of course, you should still marry Ibrahim.”

  Mira’s smile fell.

  “What? Why?”

  “Because even if you and I know the truth of what happened, people aren’t going to believe it. After all, when a boy and a girl are alone together, Satan is the third one with them.”

  “But—but that’s not fair!” Mira cried. “Jalil and I never—I’ve still got my honor. I—”

  “Not in the eyes of the camp, you don’t,” said Lena. “Pardon my bluntness, but for all intents and purposes, you’re spoiled goods.”

  Mira’s stomach fell out from under her. She bit her lip, trying to hold back her tears.

  “So you’re saying I won’t get strawberries at my wedding?”

  “I’m afraid not, Mira. I’m sorry.”

  Mira didn’t know what to say to that. They sat in silence together for a few moments.

  “Of course, that’s not the end of the world,” said Lena. “Ibrahim is a good man—he’ll make an excellent husba
nd for you. Tiera doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Of course I’m sure. That girl could look at a carving of pure ivory and find a blemish the width of a hair.”

  “Maybe…” Mira’s voice drifted off.

  “Listen,” said Lena, “it sounds as if your only real problem is that you’re having second thoughts. If that’s the case, I can help you out.”

  “How?”

  Lena leaned forward and grinned mischievously. “By giving you and Ibrahim a chance to find out if you’re compatible.”

  Mira frowned. “Compatible? I don’t—”

  “Oh, don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it. Ibrahim is quite the catch, and I’ve got a couple of private rooms in my tent, far away from any prying eyes…”

  Mira’s eyes widened as she realized what her sister was suggesting.

  “I—I don’t—”

  “Oh, come on,” said Lena. “It’s not that big of a deal. Everyone does it.”

  “Everyone?”

  “Sure.”

  “I don’t think—”

  Lena laughed. “Oh, don’t pretend like you don’t know. Amina’s a year younger than you, and she’s already slept with half a dozen men. Surayya—”

  Mira’s jaw dropped. “She has?”

  “Yes. Didn’t you know?”

  “No!” Half a dozen men? Lord of Earth!

  “Well, it’s true. Surayya’s had a couple of secret boyfriends, now—she’s hoping to get one of them to marry her soon. And as for me and Mazhar—”

  “You and Mazhar?” Mira said incredulously. “You slept with Mazhar before you were married?”

  Lena nodded. “Of course we did! What’s wrong with that?”

  “But—where do you find all these men?”

  Lena threw back her head and laughed. “Oh, Mira—where have you been? Men aren’t hard to find; the desert isn’t completely empty. Most of them live less than a hundred miles away. We arranged all our meetings by radio or planetnet; the most exciting part was sneaking out to see them. Of course, I think Mother always knew, but Father…”

  You had strawberries at your wedding, even though you slept with Mazhar long before your wedding night, Mira thought to herself. I never actually slept with Jalil, but because everyone thinks I have, I’ll never have that honor.

  “But—but isn’t that wrong?”

  Lena rolled her eyes. “Wrong? Let me tell you something, Mira: everybody acts as if fornication is a horrible, dishonorable thing, but nobody actually believes it. It’s just a rule we follow for society’s sake, so if people tell little white lies about it, it’s no big deal.”

  It was to Jalil, Mira wanted to say.

  Lena put a hand on her shoulder, as if to console her. “I know you’re nervous,” she said, “but trust me, there’s nothing to worry about. I’ll take care of everything.”

  “I don’t know—”

  “You and your second thoughts—will you give it a rest already? You’ve been a virgin for far too long, Mira; you don’t know what you’re missing.”

  Mira opened her mouth, but found herself at a complete loss for words. So many thoughts and emotions were running through her, she felt completely paralyzed.

  “Trust me—it’ll be fine,” Lena said again. “I’ll call for you when everything’s ready. Is that all right?”

  No!

  “I, I—”

  “Excellent! I’ll see you soon, then.”

  Before Mira knew what was happening, Lena was escorting her to the door. A moment later, she stood outside under the hot desert sun, as lost and confused as ever.

  * * * * *

  Jalil walked lightly down the main corridor and stopped at the door at the end, hesitating for a moment before stepping through.

  The bridge was unusually quiet; only the hum of the ventilation system broke the silence. The lights were off, but the stars outside were easily bright enough to illuminate the room with their soft glow. Indicator lights along the walls and ceiling blinked on and off, their yellow and orange hues mingling with the milky blue glow of the starfield.

  From the pilot’s seat in front of him, Nash glanced over his shoulder and nodded. “Hello there.”

  “Hello,” said Jalil. He walked over and sat down in the astrogator’s chair.

  “Bored?”

  “A little,” Jalil admitted. “I’m afraid I’m not very useful.”

  “Don’t worry about it. While we’re in the starlane, there’s not much for any of us to do.”

  Jalil nodded, turning to gaze out the window at the stars. Next to him, Nash resumed his work.

  “What makes the stars so bright?”

  “Distance,” said Nash. “We’re in deep space now, so there isn’t anything bright enough to drown them out.”

  “It’s amazing,” said Jalil. “I’ve never seen so many at once.”

  Nash glanced up at the window. “I hardly notice them anymore. Places change you the longer you live in them, I guess. This ship feels as familiar to me as my parents’ home.”

  Jalil nodded. “Why did you decide to join the crew?”

  Nash shrugged. “I suppose I wanted to get away, see the rest of the universe. I never had much of a plan, but this feels right, being a merchanter. If I can, I’d like to get my own ship and make a living this way.”

  Just like my parents, Jalil realized.

  “How does a merchanter settle down and have a family?” he asked.

  “It depends,” said Nash. “A lot of family businesses start out with a single ship, usually bought with borrowed money. The ship becomes your home, since living on board is cheaper than paying for an apartment you hardly ever use. After you pay off your ship, the next thing is to establish a home port and start building a fleet.”

  “How do you find a wife?” asked Jalil. “Do your parents arrange for you to marry?”

  Nash chuckled. “No, not usually. We do things a bit differently than they do in the Gaian desert.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, usually it’s up to a young man to find his own wife. He spends some time courting young women, until he finds a girl he likes who seems willing to take a chance on him. He asks for her hand, and if she says yes, they get married. If not, well, he finds someone else and tries again.”

  Jalil nodded. “And have you chosen someone?”

  “Yes.”

  “Who?”

  Nash paused for a moment. “Can you keep a secret?”

  “My lips are sealed.”

  “It’s Michelle.”

  “I see,” said Jalil. “She is… very spirited.”

  “Yes, and not a bad engineer, either.”

  “I admit, I’ve never seen a woman so good at that. She will make an excellent wife for you.”

  Nash chuckled. “I hope so. I plan to ask her when we get to Kardunash IV in a couple days.”

  “God-willing,” said Jalil. “God-willing, my brother.”

  At that moment, a gentle pinging noise sounded over the ship’s loudspeakers. Jalil braced himself—the sound meant that they were going to make another jump. He clenched his teeth and gripped the nearest handhold as his stomach fell out from underneath him. It wasn’t as bad as the first few times, but it still jarred him something awful. He opened his eyes and took in a deep breath, sweat clinging to his forehead.

  “How many more jumps are we going to make?” he asked, leaning against the wall for support as he rose to his feet.

  “About two dozen,” said Nash. “After a while, you get used to it.”

  God-willing, thought Jalil, doubting he ever would.

  Set against the starry backdrop out the forward window, he saw a giant, spherical object in the distance. It looked almost like a planet, except that it was dark gray, with a squarish platform jutting out of the middle on one side.

  “What’s that?” he asked.

  “What?” Nash said, looking up from his console. “Oh, that.
It’s a jump station—a waypoint along the starlane. Their drives are what propel us from point to point, so that we can travel much faster than our ship could alone.”

  “I see,” said Jalil. “And how far do we have to go?”

  Nash shrugged. “Twenty light-years, perhaps less.”

  “Light-year?”

  “Yes. Karduna is almost eighty light-years from Gaia Nova, which means that if we accelerated our ship to just below the speed of light, it would take over eighty years to get there.”

  Jalil frowned. “Light has a speed?”

  “Of course—that’s why it takes several hours for a signal to travel from one end of a star system to another. The stars are so far apart that the light from them has traveled for years and years, sometimes even centuries, to reach us. When we look out at the starfield, we’re not only looking back across space, but also across time.”

  “What?” exclaimed Jalil. “You’re saying that we can actually look backwards in time, by looking at something from far away?”

  Nash shrugged. “Sure—why not? It would take one hell of a telescope, though.”

  One hell of a telescope, Jalil thought to himself as he stared out at the myriad stars. The thought of looking backwards in time filled his mind with wondrous possibilities. What would he see, if he could look back far enough? Would he see his parents crash land their ship on Gaia Nova? Would he see himself growing up in the desert, driving across the mountains and sand dunes in his tiny little caravaneer? And what about Karduna? Was he staring at an image of the star as it appeared while his parents were still children? Before they were even born? Was it possible, even if only in theory, that he could see himself as a baby, with his real mother watching over him?

  “If it’s possible to look back in time, is it possible to send a message?” he asked aloud, half to himself.

  Nash chuckled. “I don’t think so, but honestly, who knows? It took our forefathers almost a thousand years to invent the jump drive. Until then, they thought that faster-than-light travel was impossible.”

  Jalil nodded, caught up in his own thoughts. If he could send a message back in time, what would he say? Would he tell his parents not to go to Gaia Nova? Would he save them from crashing into the desert, and keep himself from being separated from them?