Souljacker

by Kodilynn Calhoun

  Still, that taste floods through me like a drug and I feel a little stronger. If I could just touch one more person…

  “Heya, Lucy!” I startle as a hand claps down on my shoulder. Caddie bounces on her heels, lunch tray in hand, and grins at me. “Guess who’s going to the salon today.” Her grin is too white in the dim lighting of the cafeteria. “You’re coming with, right?”

  “Uh…” The idea of being stuck after school with Caddie, who just oozes with energy, makes me ache. I don’t want to give up this friendship. I refuse to take from her. That’s not how friends work.

  “C’mon. It’ll be fun. Besides, I’m a little nervous. Haven’t you ever had girl time before?”

  “Sure.” I shrug, taking a lunch tray off the counter. The hot meal of hotdogs and mac and cheese sounds disgusting. “It’s just…it’s been awhile. Not since I moved here.”

  She stops me, her fingers curling around my arm. “Dude, why not?” Her eyes are wide and shiny with unanswered questions.

  Because I’m a freak? I want to growl back at her, but I keep my jaw clamped shut. She doesn’t let go, so I sigh. “Doesn’t matter, really. I’m just not very social, that’s all.” My heart skips in my chest. I don’t want to talk about the past, about Sophia, about…anything. I turn away from her.

  I head to the salad bar, making a tiny salad with chicken and ranch dressing. She seems to give up the line of questioning and we sit down together at an empty table, Caddie chattering my ear off as I crunch into my meal. It tastes like something a horse would eat, but I force it down anyway. She munches on a hotdog and tries to decide what color she’s gonna change her hair to.

  Crisis averted.

  The salon we end up going to is one of the more expensive ones; I’m surprised that Caddie’s parents agreed to this shenanigan. Caddie proudly announces what she wants done to her hair and the stylist looks bored, but agrees.

  I sit in the waiting area, giving her a hopefully-reassuring grin as she bounces over to the chair and sits down. I watch as the stylist performs magic: She turns Caddie’s frizzy, out of control blonde hair into a straight, sleek mane of platinum with a chunk of fire red.

  Once finished, Caddie squeals at her reflection. “Holy hell, I look sexy!” She tugs on her hair, which got a layered trim, and does a little dance. She narrows her eyes on me, waggling one eyebrow. “Think Jale’ll notice me now?”

  “Definitely,” I say. She does look good. The white-blonde of her hair makes her dark eyes seem even darker, and the streak of crimson brings out a fiery sparkle in them.

  But God, all it would take is to put my hand on her arm as I crow over her haircut. I can taste it, she’s so close. I close my hands into fists. “I’ve really gotta get home.”

  She bobs. “Oh, yeah. Me too! Mom’s gonna faint. I told her I was changing my hair, but haha, this is totally epic. See ya, Luce!” After paying the stylist, we go our separate ways. Before I realize what I’m doing, I’m passing the alley Freak always hangs out in. My breath catches in my throat and I glance down the aisle.

  Iofiel.

  He’s not here, but then again, did I really expect him to be after that cyberhound attacked him? He’s probably in deep trouble because of me. Still, it makes my heart ache and I’m not even sure why. It’s just a stupid boy. I sigh and hook my fingers in my belt loops, heading home.

  Mrs. Rockwell’s asleep in bed, snoring softly, a motorboat purr. I lay my hand on her icy forehead and take just a little more. Just a little will get me through tomorrow, to where I can fill up on Jale.

  “Aely?” she murmurs and I slip out before she can wake, guilt lapping at my throat. I collapse on my bed, curling up on my side and hugging my pillow to my chest. Sync is even quiet for once, perched on the corner of my dresser. Maybe she’s still thinking about Iofiel being one of Fae’s minions as well.

  I try and tell myself it doesn’t matter, I didn’t have a chance with him anyway. Not the way I am. Not with my emptiness never getting filled. I would only hurt him. I press my face deeper into my pillow and just breathe.

  ***

  “Oh God, Jale’s here today.”

  Caddie squeaks in my ear, pointing across the hall to where the skinny guy is signing in late at the office. My heart sinks and floats at the exact same time. Here I am, plotting to dine on my friend’s crush. I’m such a horrible person, yet I can’t make myself feel that bad about it. It’s just Jale.

  “Think he’ll notice me?”

  “Go for it.” I smile at her.

  She clasps her hands together, then composes herself and follows Jale Halvers to his locker. He thumbs the finger pad and it swings open. Caddie leans against the opposite locker and says something; I see her lips moving, painted a light red that matches her new hair color, and Jale seems to give her a second glance.

  He’s smiling now. Definitely interested. Go Caddie! I can’t help the flip of my heart as she fishes out a piece of paper from her notebook, scribbles on it, and hands it to him. Then he walks off down the hall and she all but prances back to me.

  “I. Just. Gave. Jale. My. Freaking. Number.” She sounds shell-shocked for a moment, then lets out a high pitched shriek that makes her clap her hands over her mouth and giggle. I grin at her. “Oh my God. That was terrifying. I’m gonna be late to class. Bye, Luce!” She bounces off down the hall like a hyper puppy and I sigh; what I wouldn’t give to be like her.

  The day drags by, minutes ticking slowly, as if the world is going on forever. Finally I’m sitting in English class, my stomach a riot of nerves. Jale sits down beside me, looking at me for a moment like he’s just now seeing me. I look down at my hands. I hear a rip of paper and he slides it onto my desk.

  “Hey.” He gives a man-nod. “Can you give this to your friend? The peppy blonde one?”

  “Sure,” I reply quickly, slipping the sheet of paper into my bag. “No problem.”

  He smiles, that dazzling, I’m-rich-and-I-know-it smile. Then he lays his head down on his arms as the class begins. As usual, Mr. W. doesn’t call on him and within a matter of moments, I hear Jale’s breathing even out. My heart picks up speed. His bare arm is right there, hanging off the desk. All it will take…

  I lean over and press my fingers against his skin. Warmth floods my hands, soaking up my arms like fire and I bite my tongue to keep from moaning at the taste. Yes. Yes… It scores across my nerves like a thousand tiny pinpricks of light, opening up new portals in my soul. I’m filling up, but I still have control. I don’t want to stop, but I can if I had to and--

  “What the hell?” Jale’s on his feet, hand wrapped around the spot where my fingers had left pink marks. His eyes are cold, flashing and wary as he steps away. The class falls silent and I gape up at him, frozen for a moment before scrambling to my feet. “What was that?”

  “What was what?” I blunder, tucking my chin and giving him what I hope is a look of innocence.

  “You just did something. You touched me, I felt…something. You fucking did something.” He steps forwards with a snarl on his face. Mr. W. makes a nervous sound, moving as if to stop us, but Jale’s hands are already gripping the front of my shirt, jerking me towards him. I clench my hands into fists, terror ringing through me. I’m afraid to touch him, afraid my fear will kill him.

  “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to,” I whisper, bitter words on my tongue. “I don’t know…”

  “You’re a Class A freak,” he snaps, tossing me away from him. He rounds on Mr. W. “I’m going to the infirmary.”

  And he storms away, leaving me the victim of twenty pairs of eyes staring holes into my back. I’m trembling, my arms wrapping around myself as if maybe I can protect myself from them. I grab my bag and leave the classroom without a word.

  My heart sinks like lead in my stomach as Jale comes into view. He’s in Caddie’s face, saying something, and she looks worried. She glances over to me, her mouth an ‘o’ of surprise and Jale follows her stare to me. And spits.

  I can’t
help it, I want to cry, I want to scream. I take off, my boots skidding down the hall, and I collapse into the nearest bathroom, locking myself in a stall. I hang my bag up on the hook and curl up on the toilet lid, knees drawn up to my chest.

  I focus on breathing, but my breaths come fast and ragged and terrified. I’m nearly hyperventilating. Sync’s voice is muffled by the bag, but I can’t let her out, my arms are too weak to reach up and unclasp the front.

  Oh God, what did I do?

  I’m going to have to move again, start all over in a new city, a new school. I’m such an idiot!

  I stop mid-gasp as the door squeaks open. I hear the scuff of shoes on tile and then, “Lucy?” Caddie’s voice, bold and totally unafraid. “What the heck just happened?”

  “Just… Just go away, Caddie. It doesn’t matter.” I press my face into my knees, tugging at the ends of my hair.

  I hear the click of a lock. Caddie’s locked us into the bathroom together. “Come out, Lucy. We need to talk. What did you do to Jale? He’s pretty freaked out.” She peers in at me through the gap between the door and the wall. I kick at the door and it rattles. She sighs. “Lucy. I’m not letting you out of here until you come clean. What the heck, girl? C’mon.”

  “I told you I was a freak,” I growl, my voice tight.

  “Yeah, but you never told me what classification of freak you are. Everyone has secrets, Lucy. I’m not gonna judge you just because you can do something different.”

  “I hurt people, Caddie. It’s not different—it’s disgusting.” I unlatch the door and swing it open. Caddie backs up a step and I begin to pace in the tiny bathroom, my heels clicking with each step I take. I ram my hands through my hair, fingers catching in snarls.

  “I’m… I don ‘t know. I’m like a vampire. An energy vampire. I take people’s…soul, pretty much. Their life force. I can’t live without it. The longer I go without soul, then—”

  I cut myself off, shaking my head. “I’m dangerous. I hurt my best friend. I didn’t mean to, but I surged and she almost died.” Tears spring to the surface and I let them fall to patter down the front of my shirt.

  “I’m trying to be normal. I really freaking am. All I want is a normal life, with a best friend and a boyfriend and…it’s never going to happen. Jale’ll probably tell his parents that I did something and I’m gonna be shipped off again.”

  “So you eat soul to keep from hurting people?” Caddie tips her head to the side.

  “Kinda.”

  “And if you don’t take soul, you’ll die?”

  “I’ve never gotten to the death part, yet. I always surge first. Then my victim is whoever I’m closest to. How’s that for awesome?” I say bitterly.

  “That’s definitely different.”

  Just like that, she seems unphased. Like she’s been around the block before. Like she can understand what I’m going through. Like hell. Something snaps in my mind and I round on her.

  “What the hell is with you? I just spill my darkest, most dangerous secret to you, and you don’t even blink?”

  She stares at me and I see emotion churning in her eyes. Then a slow, eerie smile creeps onto her lips. “I’m a freak too, yanno.”

  “Oh yeah?” I say, but it’s half-hearted. I can feel heat billowing out of her, blasting me with warmth. Her hair even seems to float around her head and she lifts a hand. Okay, so she’s definitely not normal.

  “Yeah,” she says. She snaps her fingers.

  And a fireball appears in the middle of her palm.

  Chapter 11:

  Lucy

  “Holy slag.”

  That’s the only thing that really comes to mind. I watch as her hand opens, fingers dancing around the blazing ball of red and golden light, flames licking them like greedy puppies lapping at water. How is it even possible to control an element? I mean, yeah, I’m a freak, but I don’t have the power to expel energy—just to steal it.

  “How?”

  Her dark eyes flick up to the ceiling, as if worried the sprinkler system will switch on, and she closes her hand around the fireball. It extinguishes with a hiss of steam and smoke and she shakes her hand. She opens the palm to me and it’s not even burned.

  Then her eyes lock into mine, a triumphant smile on her face. “I knew you were like me the minute I laid eyes on you.”

  “Sure, but what are you?”

  “A freak.” She lifts her shoulder in a half shrug. “No other real classification for it. I’m human, but I’m also a freak. I can shoot fire from my fingertips. Hasn’t always been a gift, you know. When you’re a little kid... Kids don’t know the meaning of secrecy. I wanted to show my classmates what I could do. Instead of making them like me, it terrified them. But kids will be kids, right? Life goes on. I stopped using my powers. Then things went south.”

  Memories spin through my mind: Me as a toddler, touching people just because it made me happy. The look on Mom’s face as she realized what I was doing. The lecture she gave me: That it was dangerous to use my gift. That I needed to keep it a secret, because the Unseelie stole children away for that very reason. The fear forged in my heart after that.

  And then the surge that ripped my life apart: Mom’s eyes snapping open as she sank to the ground without so much as a cry of pain. Little-me, filled with so much of her soul that I was on cloud nine, full and content. Then little-me at the funeral a week later, begging Mom to open her eyes, begging to know what had happened to her. They called it a freak accident, but a little piece of my heart was buried with her that day.

  “I know what you mean.” I slump back against the wall, my arms crossed over my chest.

  Our eyes meet and Caddie shakes her head. “The fire got hotter and hotter inside me, vying for a way out. It made me angry and I just wanted to burn things. When I was seven, I threw a fit because my brother tattled when I melted one of his toys. I literally had a meltdown. The house burned down and we barely got out. It was bad. Real bad. Then we realized I needed an outlet. I needed to be able to expel the fire in a constructive way in order to keep from flaring.”

  “Like my surges.”

  “But I have an idea.” I stare at her, expecting her to continue, but instead she gathers up her bag and books on the counter and unlocks the door. “Meet me at my house after school and we’ll talk. I live on Eaden, back behind the Asian Grocery. Tiny house. Huge ass fence in the back yard. Barky dog. You can’t miss it.”

  “Caddie—”

  “Later, Luce,” she says with a grin and ducks out the door. It clicks shut behind her, leaving me in the empty bathroom. Crap. I have a couple of options. I can skip my last few classes and have the principal call Mr. Rockwell, or I can bully through the rest of the day even though people are going to gossip and stare. Ugh. Not great choices.

  I sigh and grab my bag off the back of the stall door. Sync beeps inside and I open the flap. She whizzes around the room for a moment before coming to hover in front of my nose, a worried expression on her digital face. “What’s going on?”

  “I’ll explain on the way to Caddie’s, I guess,” I tell her and stuff her back down in my bag. She lets off another round of annoyed beeps and I can’t help but chuckle. I sling my bag over my shoulder and pull the door open. I can get through the rest of the school day. Mr. Rockwell would have too much fun grounding me otherwise.

  As always, the day sucks.

  My destination’s the Asian Grocery, but I find myself standing at the mouth of Freak’s alley. No. Iofiel’s alley. I half expect to see him flopped on one side, ears perked up, tail wagging. Waiting for me. I jerk my head up as there’s a crash down past the dumpsters. My heart lifts with hope, but then a mangy yellow tom cat comes padding towards me with trash in his mouth and it sinks again.

  Why am I even here, anyway? To apologize to him for ruining our date? To demand to know why he’s even bothering with me when he’s not even human himself? Can Fae-made creatures even love?

  I shake my head and keep walking. It doe
sn’t matter. He’s not around and the way that cyberhound tackled him the other night, I don’t blame him. I’m not safe for him anyway. It’s better this way.

  Still, it doesn’t ease the ache in my heart.

  Caddie was right, in the end: I really can’t miss her house. It’s a cracker box with a roof, painted a sickly shade of mint green. Old Christmas lights are strung around on the front porch. I mill around out front for a few minutes, hesitating about knocking on the door, before I head out back. Sure enough, there’s a seven-foot high privacy fence shielding a large back yard. I cup my hands around my eyes and peer through the slats.

  A huge but skinny white pit bull lunges at the fence, paws scraping wood as it lets out a barrage of ear-piercing barks. I scramble back, my heart in my throat, and kick at the fence. “Slag,” I hiss and Sync tutts at me.

  “That’s what you get for marching around on private property!”

  “Lucy!” Caddie’s voice rings out and I back away from the fence line. She’s got the front door swung wide open, her head poked out and a grin plastered on her face. She shuts the door behind her and hops down the porch steps. “I would’ve offered to let you use my Portal, but I didn’t figure you liked them. Since you walk to school every day and all.” She grins. “Wanna go out back?”

  “With the big, mean, scary dog? I’ll pass.”

  “Hope’s not scary!” She laughs, grabbing my arm and dragging me through the gate anyway. The dog pokes her nose in my crotch, but her tail is wagging. That’s a good sign at least. Then Sync floats over the top of the fence and Hope goes crazy, barking and leaping four feet into the air, trying to catch the floating robot. “She thinks Sync’s a metal ball.”