Star Struck

by Jenny McLachlan

  ‘Tybalt … and the evil Japanese elf is Juliet.’

  ‘Hi, guys!’

  I spin round. The evil Japanese elf is standing right behind me. She can move quietly on those tiny feet. ‘You’re Juliet,’ I blurt out.

  She nods and smiles, like it’s just what she expected. She looks so smug I want to shake her. ‘Our first rehearsal is next week, right?’

  ‘Monday,’ says Kat.

  ‘It’s going to be fun,’ she says, still smiling. Then she clocks the awkward silence and seems to remember we were auditioning for the same part. ‘Who are you, Pearl?’

  ‘Tybalt.’

  ‘Awesome! We’re going to be cousins.’

  ‘Awesome,’ I say.

  The silence comes back and it’s only broken when Betty gasps, ‘Oh my God!’ and grabs Hoshi’s hand. ‘Domo-kun nails. I love Domo-kun.’ Then the two of them start talking about Domo-kun, who apparently is a Japanese cartoon character who came out of an egg and lives with a rabbit.

  I glance at Hoshi’s nails. Each one is painted brown with jaggedy teeth and black eyes.

  ‘Look,’ says Betty. She pulls up her blazer sleeves, revealing her own Domo-kun wrist warmers. ‘I knitted these myself.’

  ‘Can you knit me some?’ asks Hoshi. ‘Even better, will you teach me how to do it?’

  ‘Domo-kun knitting party!’ says Betty.

  I’ve had enough of this. ‘I’d better go,’ I say. ‘I’m late for my detention.’

  ‘What did you do?’ asks Kat.

  ‘Nothing. Just Mrs Stone being a total cow, as usual.’ I glance at Hoshi, but she’s not giving anything away. ‘Got to go.’

  ‘Sayonara, Pearl!’ says Hoshi, then she sticks two Domo-kun nails into a peace sign by her face and gives me her cute little smile.

  ‘Whatever,’ I say as I walk down the corridor.

  At first Mrs Stone is furious, but as she’s lecturing me I see a magazine called Rock’n’roll Weddings sitting on her desk. All I need to say is, ‘Are you getting married, Miss?’ and suddenly all is forgiven. Admittedly, I do have to spend ages discussing her ridiculous Doctor Who theme and browsing the internet for Dalek cakes, but at least it gets me out of trouble.

  I take my time walking to science. I’m thinking tactics, trying to work out the best way to get Hoshi off the show. Problem is, I can’t do anything around Kat and the others; there’s this unspoken rule that I only get to hang out with them as long as I behave myself. No, I’m just going to have to be patient and get to know Hoshi better. Then, when she’s least expecting it … I’ll strike!

  I’m brought back to reality by a pair of hands landing on my shoulders. I spin round and see Jake’s smiling face. ‘Sorry,’ he says. ‘Didn’t mean to scare you!’

  ‘Well, you did,’ I say, laughing.

  ‘I’ve been looking everywhere for you.’

  ‘Yeah?’

  He runs his hands through his hair. ‘I saw the cast list. Bad news, mate. I thought you’d be Juliet …’ He can’t quite look at me when he says this.

  I shrug. ‘Ms Kapoor obviously didn’t think I was good enough.’

  ‘No way. You’d be great.’ Then he hits me with his smile and as usual it makes me feel so good. I love this about Jake. Even though some people look at me like I’m scum, he never does. ‘Now you’re Tybalt,’ he says, ‘at least we get to fight each other.’

  ‘Jake, you kill me.’

  He laughs. ‘Do I? I’d better read the play. What happens?’

  ‘You murder me because I’ve killed your best friend, Mercutio. It’s revenge.’

  He takes my hand, links his fingers round mine and says in a deeply serious voice, ‘Apologies in advance for having to kill you.’ He squeezes my fingers then lets go.

  ‘Hey,’ I say, ‘are you going to Lottie’s eighteenth on Saturday?’

  ‘Not sure.’

  ‘I’m going,’ I say. ‘You should come.’

  ‘Maybe I will …’

  ‘I’ve got to go. I’m late for science.’ I turn and walk away, but I know he’s watching me, so I walk a bit taller.

  ‘Looking forward to that fight!’ he calls after me, and somehow I know he’s smiling. You can feel a Jake Flower smile even when you can’t see it.

  EIGHT

  I don’t waste any time becoming Hoshi’s frenemy. All week I wait for her outside her lessons and sit next to her whenever we have a class together.

  Soon I know loads about her: how she loves salt and vinegar crisps and that her dad’s called Ed and that she’s got a thing for quirky accessories. Every day it’s something different: knee-high white socks, one pulled up, the other pushed down; a ring made up of two birds kissing; an ice-cream hair grip. I tell her that I love her toddler look, and she just smiles and says, ‘Thanks so much, Pearl!’

  I ask her all the right questions, lend her a pound when she needs it, and I even start to help her learn Juliet’s lines. I tell myself that I need to be patient, but it’s starting to feel like I’m all friend and no enemy.

  So today, just before our rehearsal, I sneaked into our English room, found her book and stuffed some Wotsits between the pages. Then I sat on it and wriggled around until it was full of cheesy dust. It was a pathetic thing to do, but at least I was doing something.

  ‘What are you smiling about?’ asks Kat as we’re warming up.

  ‘Nothing!’ I say. ‘Come on, you’re supposed to insult me.’ Miss wants to get us in an aggressive mood because the play starts with a fight. She’s put on dance music and strobe lights and told us to go round the room throwing Shakespearean insults at each other.

  ‘OK … “Thou art like a toad,”’ says Kat, picking a phrase off the list, ‘“ugly and venomous”!’

  ‘Hang on,’ I say, scanning my sheet of paper. ‘Kat, thou have a moustache.’

  ‘That’s not what it says,’ she cries. ‘Shakespeare never said that!’

  ‘I made it better,’ I say, my eyes flicking round, looking for Hoshi.

  Kat’s got a mirror out of her pocket and is poking her tongue under her top lip, checking it from all angles.

  ‘Girls!’ shouts Ms Kapoor. ‘Go round the room. Insult everyone, not just your friends.’ With a sigh, Kat and I separate. Ms Kapoor catches up with me. ‘Forgiven me yet, Pearl?’

  The music thuds and the lights flash on and off. ‘Not yet,’ I say. ‘Give me a few years.’ I’m only half joking and she knows it.

  ‘I’m right about this,’ she says. ‘You’ll see.’ She puts a hand on my shoulder to stop me walking away. ‘You’re going to be the best Tybalt.’

  ‘If you say so.’ I smile and twist away from her. I don’t really blame Miss. The person I blame is in the corner of the studio with Betty. Her black kitten ears make her easy to spot.

  I’m pleased to see Jake is on the opposite side of the room to Hoshi. He never turned up at Lottie’s party and it was a disaster. Tiann left early and I got a Sixth Former to buy me a couple of drinks, then had an argument with some girl. Eventually Lottie’s uncle made me leave. At work the next day I felt so sick, my boss, Jane, let me lie on a sun lounger in the stock room until I felt better. I kept pressing a cold can of Coke into my face and trying not to think about Hoshi. Somehow it all seemed like her fault.

  ‘Get insulting, Pearl!’ calls Ms Kapoor.

  I (accurately) call a Year Nine boy an ‘eye-offending maggot-pie’ then move on round the studio. Suddenly, I find myself in front of Bus Kelly. She stares at me through her big blue specs. ‘Do your worst,’ I say. ‘Slag me off. I can handle it.’

  ‘Um …’ She looks at her list.

  ‘Yes?’ I step closer and she whispers something. ‘What? Can’t hear you.’

  ‘“Bull’s pizzle”!’ she blurts out.

  ‘And thou,’ I hiss, grabbing the front of her blazer and pulling her close, ‘art a “cream-faced loon”!’ She blinks up at me and I let her go. ‘You know I’m joking, right?’

  She nods and runs away
.

  Automatically, my eyes find Hoshi. She’s by the stage insulting some boy. I go and tap her on the shoulder. She spins round. ‘Hey, Pearl!’ she says, a big smile on her face. ‘Who’s going first?’

  ‘Me. I’ve been saving a couple for you.’

  ‘Great.’

  ‘You “bolting-hutch of beastliness”,’ I say, stepping towards her. ‘You “swollen parcel of dropsies”.’ She takes a step back. ‘You “bombard of sack”. You “stuffed cloak bag of guts”!’ I haven’t got a clue what I’m saying, but I’m enjoying myself so much. I move forward until she’s against the wall. Then I put my face close to hers and, very quietly, I say, ‘You “ratcatcher”.’

  Hoshi stares right into me. ‘“Go prick thy face”, Pearl,’ she says with a big smile. Then she slips past me. I stand there for a moment staring at the wall, my hands clenched. Once again, she’s beaten me … only I don’t know how she’s done it. My words just seem to bounce off her.

  I turn round and find myself standing opposite Jake.

  His eyes flick down the list, then he says, ‘How are you doing, “fusty nut”?’ White strobe lights flash on his face. They’re making me dizzy.

  ‘Frustrated,’ I say. ‘I don’t like warm-ups.’

  He studies me. ‘What would you rather be doing, Pearl Harris?’

  Music bangs out of the speakers next to us and I feel the bass deep inside me. Jake flashes in and out of the darkness. ‘Actually,’ I say. ‘Now I think about it, this is pretty good.’

  He laughs. ‘Aren’t you going to insult me?’

  I glance at the list then say, ‘You’re a “notable coward”. A “promise breaker”.’

  Just then Ms Kapoor stops the music and puts the lights on. Jake frowns. ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to the party. I had to help my dad out at work.’

  ‘The party?’ I say. ‘Lottie’s? It was rubbish. I left early.’

  ‘Get over here, you two,’ calls Ms Kapoor. Everyone else is sitting in a circle, waiting for us.

  Jake stands back to let me pass. For the briefest of moments I feel his hand on my back and I imagine how we must look together: tall, dark, the perfect pair. On the other side of the circle, Hoshi is watching us as we take our seats. I smile at her. She may be acting Jake’s girlfriend, but who’s sitting next to him right now?

  She rests her chin in one hand and smiles back, her eyes never leaving mine. Then her script comes up, hiding her face, and all I can see are her kitten ears poking out of her hair.

  NINE

  For the rest of the week, I have to watch while everyone falls under Hoshi’s spell. Even the teachers seem to think she’s amazing.

  When Kat and I walk into the drama studio for Thursday’s rehearsal, the first thing I see is Hoshi chatting to Ms Kapoor. They’re going over the script, making notes, laughing. It used to be me Miss talked to before rehearsals; sometimes she’d even bring me a cup of tea from the staffroom. I feel pathetically relieved when I see there’s no mug in Hoshi’s hands.

  ‘What’s the matter?’ Kat says, looking at me.

  ‘Nothing.’ I force myself to smile.

  ‘Is it still bothering you?’ Kat says, glancing at Hoshi and Ms Kapoor. ‘Hoshi being Juliet?’

  ‘No,’ I say quickly.

  ‘Because you’ve got such a good part,’ Kat says, ‘and this is just a school show. I know Ms Kapoor goes on about how life-changing it’s going to be, but it’ll be over in a few months.’ She smiles, thinking she’s said just the right thing.

  I look at Kat, her blonde hair hanging perfectly over each shoulder, little diamond studs glinting in her ears. They were a present from her mum and dad for her sixteenth birthday. ‘I said it’s not bothering me,’ I say, then I walk away. ‘Come on. Let’s get a seat before they all go.’

  Mr Simms runs through some scales as he waits for us all to sit down, and then he starts to describe our first song. ‘We’re opening with a power ballad. Shakespeare didn’t think of that!’ He starts to play a very familiar tune, glancing back at us over his shoulder. ‘I’m rather pleased with what I’ve written,’ he says. ‘It’s called “Capulet It Go” and it goes like this.’ He begins singing in a dramatic baritone. ‘“The heat burns bright in the square today, no Montagues to be seen, but with our swords and daggers, we’re ready to vent our spleen!” What do you think?’ he asks, still playing.

  ‘It’s “Let It Go” from Frozen, Sir,’ says Evie.

  His hands crash down on the keys. ‘No, actually it’s very different if you listen carefully.’ He plays the opening of each song. ‘See! Different key. Different track altogether.’ I’d say they’re almost identical, but who cares. It sounds great.

  ‘You’re going to get sued by Disney,’ says Evie. ‘They’ll cancel our show.’

  ‘Disney’s never going to know about it … but just in case, let’s say mobile phones are banned. OK?’ He gives a pile of music sheets to a student and they’re passed along the row. ‘Everyone got the lyrics? Let’s learn the song.’

  I prefer solos, but it still feels good to be part of one big voice. For a while it distracts me, keeps me in the moment, but Hoshi is sitting somewhere behind me and I find I can’t block out her voice. It lifts above all the others, so I work on drowning her out and Mr Simms is thrilled. ‘That’s it, Pearl! So much passion.’

  Just as we’ve got the hang of the song, Ms Kapoor comes back into the studio dragging a box behind her. ‘We’re going to do some fighting,’ she says, ‘but before we do that, I want to tell you some exciting news.’ She pauses and smiles. ‘We’re going on a trip to London!’ She explains that she’s been in touch with a friend at Pineapple Dance Studios and arranged a street dance workshop for us. ‘It’s last minute – we’re going next Friday – so get your consent forms in quickly.’

  ‘Friday,’ Kat whispers in my ear as the letters go round. ‘We’re going to swap double maths for krumping!’

  ‘Back to business,’ says Ms Kapoor. ‘The business of fighting! I’ve raided the props cupboard and I thought we could try singing “Capulet It Go” and do some combat improvisation at the same time.’

  I decide that I’ve definitely forgiven Ms Kapoor. What an insane idea!

  She starts throwing us weapons – wooden swords, plastic cutlasses, foam daggers. Kat gets an AK-47 and I get an inflatable axe.

  ‘Am I meant to have this, Miss?’ Bea pulls a Samurai sword out of its sheath.

  ‘Better not.’ Ms Kapoor swaps it for a plastic sabre. ‘I brought that back from Japan and it’s kind of real.’

  ‘Not fair!’ says Betty. Somehow she’s ended up with a floppy cardboard dagger. Bea starts prodding her with her sabre, so Betty retaliates by slapping her round the face with the cardboard dagger.

  ‘Hang on,’ says Ms Kapoor. ‘I don’t want you to just go crazy and hurt each other. Mr Simms will accompany you while you sing. At the same time, move round the room and gently fight with whoever your meet – almost in slow motion. Ready?’ She nods at Mr Simms. ‘Go!’

  For about ten seconds we fight gently, all the time singing ‘Capulet It Go’, but soon the fighting is too much fun and we abandon the singing for pure fighting. I focus on hitting Kat round the head with my axe. She’s laughing so much she has to crouch down in a ball. ‘Stop!’ she screams. ‘You’re going to whack a wee out of me!’

  I take pity on her and look round to see who else I can torment. Ms Kapoor is standing on a chair, looking anxious. A sword swings near her face and she pulls back, her eyes wide. ‘Time out!’ she yells to the small girl in front of her. ‘Sit on the stage.’

  Bus Kelly throws down her sword and stomps off.

  Suddenly, Hoshi appears in front of me and swipes at my axe with her wooden sword. ‘Ha!’ she says. I take a swing at her, but she jumps easily out of the way and sneaks her sword under my arm to try and jab my stomach. I step back. ‘Is that the best you’ve got, Pearl?’ she asks, jumping from side to side. ‘I’ve seen babies fight hard
er than you!’ Is she trash-talking me?

  ‘You don’t want to know what I’ve got,’ I say. Then I lay into her, my axe squeaking each time it hits her sword. Biting her lip with concentration, she goes for my left arm, then switches at the last moment, gently prodding my leg. It’s a sneaky move. ‘Got you,’ she says. ‘You’re dead!’

  ‘No.’ I pull my axe back. ‘You’re dead!’ I aim for her head, whipping the axe round hard. Wheeeeee! goes the axe as it slams into her fluffy hair, and it’s so satisfying. For a moment, Hoshi blinks and rocks backwards, her hair sticking up all over the place. ‘Head rush,’ she says, smiling.

  Ms Kapoor is not amused. ‘Pearl!’ she shouts. ‘Too violent. Time out.’ She points with her clipboard to the stage.

  Dragging my axe behind me, I climb up to the stage and sit down with everyone else who’s gone ‘too far’.

  My chin in my hands, I watch the brawl, my eyes always on Hoshi. She moves like she’s dancing, constantly darting from person to person. Jake plunges towards her, but she ducks under his arm and pokes him on the bum with her sword. He spins round, but she’s already off fighting Betty, who soon discovers wood is stronger than card. When her sword tears in two, she starts using her hands like a ninja, karate-chopping Hoshi’s arm.

  Next to me, a laugh bursts out of Bus Kelly. When she sees me looking, she covers her mouth. ‘What’s so funny?’ I say.

  ‘She is.’ She nods at Hoshi, who now has one hand behind her back like she’s fencing. She’s waving her sword in tiny circles.

  ‘And she knows it,’ I say.

  ‘Definitely.’

  ‘Yeah?’ I look at her properly. ‘Why d’you say that?’

  ‘She loves attention.’

  ‘Very observant, Bus Kelly!’ I hold up my hand for a high five.

  ‘Thanks!’ She slaps her little hand against mine.

  ‘Ew,’ I say. ‘Sticky!’

  ‘Strawberry Laces,’ she says, pulling a handful of sweets out of her pocket. ‘Want one?’

  ‘Yeah. Go on.’

  She detangles a lace and passes it to me. As I nibble at the lace, I watch the fight. Jake is creeping up on Hoshi. Suddenly he grabs her round the waist and lifts her off the ground. She screams and clutches at his hands, then Jake’s face is buried in her neck, close to her ear, like he’s whispering something to her.