He slams me against the wall and before I know it, his shirt and pants are off, too. I take a long second to look at him. He’s the polar opposite of Reed in every way that matters. His blond hair is always perfectly styled, never would he think to put a hat on it, piercing sapphire blue eyes, instead of the hazel I’d loved. He is a little shorter than Reed but still tall, maybe six feet—he towers over my five-foot-three-inch frame. Bennett’s body is good—lean, not bulky and he would never think about tattooing his perfect, tanned skin. Before I started dyeing my hair darker, we would have looked like the perfect couple to everyone around us. That thought is almost laughable now, though. Love between us would never happen, not just because my heart is locked up but, secretly, I think Bennett actually hates me.
He gets the foil packet out of his pants on the ground. I take it from his hand, open it, and roll it down his hardness. After adjusting our bodies slightly, he is at my entrance and pushes into me roughly. I meet his harsh thrusts—no sweetness, no caressing, just…fucking. When I almost find my release, Bennett stops moving, clutches my throat, and squeezes until my air intake is cut off. “You”—pump—“are”—pump—“fucking”—pump—“mine, bitch.” I don’t answer and don’t have time to, either. I moan while my release takes over, and he’s following me with his own.
Bennett pulls out and throws the condom away without a single word uttered by either one of us. I gather my clothes off the floor and start to walk up my stairs to my bathroom. Before I make it into the shower, he snags my arm and whips me around until I’m facing him.
“I wasn’t kidding. Whatever this is”—he points between him and me—“you are mine until I say this is done, not you, and I’ll hurt anyone that comes close to you—believe that. Next month is the Norton Gala and you are going with me. Get a dress and make sure it’s not anything like that slutty thing you had on last time. You fucking embarrassed me with all that shit showing, you looked like some common streetwalker.”
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know I should argue. A parka shows more skin than what I wore last time, but like always I don’t do anything. My lips never move, never open in an attempt to stand up for myself. As I turn on the shower, Bennett drops my arm but snags my waist, jerking me into him. We are both still completely naked, making me want another round. I’m a twisted, sick, damaged, used person now. He bites my shoulders, turns me around, and sucks right above my breast, leaving a mark. Just as I start to moan, he whispers in my ear, “That’s right, slut. I’m the only one that knows you like this and don’t forget that. I have to leave. I’ve got shit to check up on at work before we head to the bar. See you in a couple of hours.” He turns around without even a second glance back at me, leaving me unsatisfied and wondering how the hell he knew about tonight.
Courtney and Sarah come into my room as I’m picking out clothes from my closet. I had pushed away all of the other friends I’d made when Bennett started changing, and didn’t want any of them to see how weak I truly was. Courtney even left, moved out into another townhouse. She’s still in the neighborhood, but I can’t remember the last time she’s come over now that Bennett stays over more often than not. I usually only see her at work because those two hate each other with a passion, so going out with her is out of the question, but she tries to stay close, even with all the pushing away I do.
I look up from my massive collection of clothes and notice them, and for the first time in a while, I’m happy for the distraction. Courtney looks pissed with her furrowed brow, Sarah looks disappointed with her drooping eyes, and the smile I felt on my face falls immediately. Court eyes me up and down, and I watch as her eyes stop on the mark on my chest. I frantically and embarrassingly pull my robe tighter around my body so the bruise forming on my waist can’t be seen. Sarah grabs my chin and something crosses her eyes, something I can’t make out. She takes a look at Courtney, each saying something to one other silently. I’m sure they are each other’s best friends now, another thing Bennett took away.
Sarah talks first. “You know, I don’t understand what you are doing with him. You don’t ever hang out anymore and you never call us. I almost had a stroke when you texted me today. And to top it off, you show up each time with different bruises. Really, it’s freaking us out.”
“It’s nothing really. And sorry I haven’t called, but I do have a life, too. And the bruises are from work, guys, so don’t get your panties in a twist.” Another lie to cover something I know they would never approve of, something I don’t even approve of anymore.
Ignoring them, I go back through the clothes in my closet—I can’t do this tonight. Courtney sees my hand on a plain black shirt, scoffs at my choice, and then moves me out of the way to look at her options. Within seconds, she’s picking me out a see-through cream blouse, a brown tank top to wear underneath, my favorite skinny jeans, and my brown and orange Jimmy Choo wedges. She absentmindedly hands them to me, and then starts going through my jewelry. I can tell she is trying to find something to do so she doesn’t say anything to piss me off.
Courtney eventually gives up her search and says, “Listen, Had, all of us have been very patient with this...but it’s time to let go, girl. You deserve happiness, but we know Bennett isn’t for you. You’ve changed. When you do hang out with us, it’s always with him. You never really talk, and when you do, you look at him for permission. It’s freaky. Here, wear this. It will help make your outfit pop.” Courtney hands me my orange statement necklace and orange bangle bracelet before she continues. “I’m so sorry that Reed gave up and forgot about you, but it was a long time ago, Hadley. And being with Bennett isn’t helping you, either. Move on, put your big girl panties on, and be done with it.” Wasn’t she the one that said I needed this the night I first hooked up with Bennett? During lectures like these, I always hear Bennett’s words in my head, like he is standing right next to me, whispering in my ear. They treat you like a child. Why would you want to talk to them when they drill you about everything? They just want you dependent on them. I can only hear that so much before I start to see some truth to it all.
Sarah interjects before I can even think of a response to Courtney. “I love you like you were my own blood…Courtney loves you, Mark and Matt love you—we just want our old Hads to come back to us. You lost your spunk and we all want you back.”
For the briefest moment, I feel the old me come out, the one Bennett hates, but I can’t allow her to come out, so I push it down once again. “Okay, guys. I understand that, I really do. But the old Hadley was young and dumb—hell, she was just plain stupid. I lost more than Reed, remember that? I saw the world through rose-colored glasses and I won’t go back to that. Bennett just gets me the way I am now. You both wouldn’t understand—Sarah with your perfect marriage to my saint brother and Courtney with more self-esteem than a small country. So I’m going to tell you, this is what I need. Please, leave it at that, and let’s go out and have a fun night, okay?” I say with the biggest smile. Even without looking in a mirror, I know it doesn’t reach my eyes, because it never does anymore.
Chapter 9
Reed
It fucking took nine long, very exhausting, very drama-filled, painful months for me to put my plan into motion—oh, and a fucking list a mile long of shit that had to get done before anything happened. Now, I’m on top of the MMPL. I only fight three times a year because it brings more money for both the league and me that way, so relocating my training was the easiest. I thought that talking the guys into packing up their whole lives would be hard—nope, that was easy, too. Finding and buying a gym and putting it in working order for training was a walk in the park since I already have six others all over the country. But no, all the major bullshit came when I thought Krystal would be that easy, too. I was an idiot for thinking that bitch would go quietly. She went fucking bat-shit crazy when I told her that we were through, and promised me she would get me back one way or the other—she has another thing coming if she thinks that. I always knew Kr
ystal was a bitch, but she hid her crazy as well as she could. And the thirty texts and the dozen phone calls a day had me pulling my hair out, but Krystal really only loves one thing: fucking money. A shit ton of it got her to walk away
I’m in the zone—feet pounding on the treadmill with some rock music blaring through the speakers around the whole place. Lance walks in and makes a beeline for the player, silencing it.
“Dude, are you okay? You’re white as shit,” I ask, slowing down my pace.
Lance rubs his hands through his shaggy brown hair and down to his neck. “Yeah, um… I just… I just—damn, dude, I saw Courtney today.”
My fast paces halt immediately, causing me to jump off the treadmill before I fall flat on my face. We haven’t talked about why I wanted to move here, he just knew the reason. I wanted everything in order before I found her. I had messed things up for so long, shit had to be set straight before I went to her, to prove I was back for the long haul. She deserved that much after everything I did to her, but hearing Courtney’s name makes it all seem so real, no doubt she’ll tell Hadley before I even get a chance to let her know I’m back—another fuck up.
“Did she see you? Did you talk to her?”
“I didn’t have a choice, Rike. We literally smacked into each other. Damn, that chick got even fucking hotter. The things I’d like to do to her…”
Really, this is the shit he fucking thinks I want to know? I take my water bottle and chuck it at him.
“Fucking ass, Riker.”
“Think about Courtney’s tits and ass later. What the hell did she say about Hadley?”
“Okay, fucker, chill. Courtney asked how I was doing and why I was down here…if I’m here with you. You know how Courtney is, thinks she belongs on a crime show or something. She seemed happy to see me until I told her we’d moved down here together and what we were doing, how long we have been down here. When Courtney finally took it all in, she told me to tell you something.” Lance starts laughing and I feel it grate on my nerves. “Remember, this is Courtney and she is protective of Hadley. Funny as hell, though. Courtney said she hopes your herpes infested dick gets gangrene and falls off, and then she ran off before I could get any info on Hadley. Or Courtney’s number, damn man.”
My balls instantly pull closer to my body and throb, no doubt she actually prays nightly for them to fall off. Wouldn’t doubt it for a second if she lit candles and danced around it in some voodoo kinda shit.
“How was Hads when I left? And no more of that bullshit you gave me when I would call you.” The question that’s been burning me up. The answer I’ve needed for years. Not knowing has eaten me up inside and I can’t take it anymore.
Lance turns around and his face shows nothing but seriousness—eyes narrowed, lips tight, jaw clenching. It has my stomach in knots waiting for his words to finally spill out. “If you really want to know then I will tell you, but that shit isn’t going to make you feel better, it’s not roses and sunshine.”
My fists clench at my sides as I try to control my anger. “Just give it to me.”
“Okay. I wasn’t around a lot. Courtney wouldn’t let me because I reminded Hadley too much of you. Hadley was fucking lost for a while but she seemed to be getting better for a little bit, then something big happened. Not sure what, but Courtney was constantly worried, always on the phone with Hads’ family to see who checked on her. I have a bad feeling with the way Court acted earlier, shit with Hadley got far worse than what it was when I was there. Courtney called her a zombie a couple of times and I just thought…hell, I don’t know what I thought, but this isn’t it. I know you think this plan will work, and I understand it but, man, it’s going to be a lot fucking harder than you thought.”
What the hell? A fucking zombie?
“And you never fucking thought I should know how bad I fucked up? You should have told me because I would have come back to her in a heartbeat. When I saw Hadley at the graduation, she seemed okay, so I didn’t worry. But you never once thought to tell me? I even heard you talk to Bobby saying she moved on. This is fucked up, man.” My anger toward him grows with each breath I take in.
“Rike, that’s the problem—you would have given everything up for her. And you would’ve done it without looking back. You had the chance to get out from the shit that we grew up in and you needed it. I know now that I fucked up by not telling you. I get it. Man, I was fucking jealous—I can admit that now. You guys had something I never had. I was a selfish asshole only thinking about one thing but, man—”
I don’t let him finish before my rage consumes me and I’m over him, fists pounding into his face. My best fucking friend, the closest thing I had to a brother betrayed me for himself. He let his jealousy ruin my fucking life and I don’t think I can ever forgive him for that. It is the ultimate betrayal—second to what I’ve done to my Hadley.
No, not your Hadley anymore, asswipe, you let her go for fame and fortune.
Never in my five years away, in all of my planning to come back to her had I ever been scared that we wouldn’t work out in the end. Even after what my dad wrote, because I knew Hadley. I knew if I came and showed her the why of all this, she would understand this whole fucked-up shit. I didn’t want regrets—that’s what started this. And now, that’s all the past five years have been—a big pile of regrets filled with pussy, fights, and money…and it’s all about to blow up in my face.
Breathing heavily, I push myself off him. He didn’t do this—I did. I’m doing nothing but turning my anger for myself onto him. I fucked those girls. I walked away when I knew she would break. Me not him. He wasn’t innocent in the whole thing, sure…but he hadn’t been the one to walk away. He didn’t point a gun at my head and make me turn my back on the one person I’ve ever truly loved—madly loved. No…that had been me, and me alone.
“Reed, I will do anything to make it better with her, you fucking deserve it. And I’m sorry, dude. I did it, but as selfish as I was, I thought I was doing the right thing,” he says, wiping the deep red blood off his lip.
“Lance, what if…” I couldn’t finish it, my mind wouldn’t let me, but my fucking heart would. I love Hadley with everything I have, that shit was stuck deep inside me and wasn’t going away. But what if that’s not enough? What if she doesn’t need me, or want me…or the biggest fucking pill to swallow—what if she’s moved on?
The good thing about guys is that we can beat the shit out of each other and then drink together a few hours later. After our fight, Lance and I sat around and talked like fucking teenage girls. A fucking huge-ass misunderstanding led me down this road. I thought my girl gave up because of what I had overheard and never asked any more questions. Bottom line is that Lance did what he did and I’ll never fucking forget it, but he had good intentions, and he better be damn lucky a split lip is the only thing he got. But what’s done is done and there’s no fucking time machine, so now I’m here, and I’m going to get my fucking girl back, in my arms, in my life, and in my bed—where the fuck she belongs.
“Ready for another one y’all?” the bartender asks, propping her tits over the bar like she has done for the past hour we’ve been here. But they don’t do shit to me—can’t say the same for the other guys with me.
“Yep, and another shot of Jack?” I say and knock back the rest of my beer.
We’re on a mission to get drunk, and I just need a break from the fucked-up thoughts that keep echoing around my head of Hadley. I drove straight to the condo of the address she left on the letter, but now some couple lives there, not her. I reactivated my Facebook page only to see she’s deactivated hers. I searched every other social media around for her and found jack shit, leaving me with no other option but to owe a favor to my friend Bash. He has some fucked-up way of finding anyone, even if they don’t want to be found. One phone call to him and I know I’ll be face to face with her soon, too soon. He told me he’d find her in seventy-two hours.
Now, I need a plan to get her back, but any
ideas I come up with aren’t good enough for her. It has to be some epic shit, fucking fireworks or something. For nine months, I was focused only on getting to Atlanta, but I never once thought of what I’d do when it actually came time to get my fucking girl back.
The bartender places the shot glass and beer in front of me when Kenny smacks me arm. “Dude, hit me one more time,” I say as I turn to him. Kenny’s eyes are so big, I swear they are going to pop out.
It all happens at once. I feel her, like a fucking match to gasoline. Damn I’ve missed that. I slowly turn around, already knowing she is here before I even spot her.
Of all the bars in Atlanta, Hadley is in this one. This fucking one. Another flashing sign. I immediately catch sight of her, walking into the bar with Courtney, her brothers, and Sarah. Five long years and a hundred girls later, Hadley is still the hottest thing I have ever laid eyes on. When I thought about her, I imagined her the same as when I had left her, but this Hadley looks completely different. She’s fucking changed everything I had loved about her looks. Her long blond hair that I used to pull on when shit got wild is darker and a lot shorter. Her plain clothes have been changed to the designer kind she used to make fun of Courtney for wearing. Hell, she even carries herself differently, too…almost as if she’s a stranger.
But hot damn, I always knew that whatever she did or whatever she wore, Hadley would look fucking scorching. I didn’t even think it was possible, but her body looks even better than before. Shit, hands down, she still had the best tits I have ever seen—real or fake. I must look like an idiot to anyone paying attention to me, but turning away from her isn’t an option. I swear, drool runs down my chin, and the sway of her hips makes my damn dick wake up for the first time in months. She’d always been my drug, never could get enough, and that shit hasn’t changed with our time apart.
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