Cooper kept his eyes locked with hers, watching her, protecting her. She saw his restraint and the care he took to bring her fulfillment even as he drove deeper inside her. He was beautiful in body and mind, but he held secrets that always kept his expression tight and his thoughts well bound. Except for now. Now she saw him without the mask. She saw him clearly for the first time. And she gave herself up to him.
“Rachel,” he ground out, his breaths coming short and quick.
She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Cooper.”
The fury inside him unleashed and he moved faster and faster. Rachel’s pleasure escalated, her body bending to his will, arching and moving with him, then against him until they’d risen as far as they could go. The dam burst and a flood of sensations ripped through her, making her sweat and moan and cry out. Every sliver of her being was shed in that moment. She waited for the pain, the guilt and the remorse for what she’d done to assault her, yet nothing but joy rippled through her.
Cooper lowered onto her and kissed her lips, her cheek and then her forehead. He held her tight and rolled over, bringing her into the circle of his embrace. She laid her head on his shoulder. Both were breathing hard, deep in thought.
“I didn’t hurt you?” he asked in a quiet whisper.
“Do I look hurt?” Her voice was soft.
He chuckled and tightened his hold on her, brushing his lips through her hair. “No, you look beautiful.”
She snuggled deeper into his chest, breathing in the scent of lust and man, earth and power. How much she’d missed that. How much she’d missed feeling vital and alive. She sighed and couldn’t hide her contentment or the satisfaction she experienced in Cooper’s arms.
He squeezed her gently and kissed the top of her head. “I can’t stay all night,” he said, and she understood he meant to protect her reputation.
Oh, but she wished it so. Nothing would be better than to wake up in Cooper’s embrace. She murmured softly, “I know.”
“I can’t chance it for you, in case the boys decide to come back early tomorrow.”
“But you can stay a few more hours.”
At least she didn’t have to worry about Jess coming home and finding out about this. On paydays, he visited his elderly sister two towns away and came back in time for the next workday which would be the day after tomorrow.
“That I can do. I’m not ready to leave you just yet.”
Rachel smiled. “And I’m not ready for you to leave.”
The lay together for a long time in the darkened room, dozing for short spans of time. But the thirst they felt for each other wasn’t sated and Cooper made love to her again, this time with much less restraint. She was taken up in a storm of passion that shortened her breaths and sped up her heart, the sound of its beating pounding in her ears.
Her heartbeats had barely gotten under control when Cooper rose from the bed. “It’s almost dawn,” he said, pulling on his pants and turning to her. The sight of him, standing over her, his dark eyes gleaming with regret, stilled her heart. She didn’t think she’d ever get accustomed to having Cooper Garnett, half-dressed and handsome as a devil, looking at her in such a way.
You can’t be real.
Those softly uttered words would stay with her forever.
“I have to go, Rachel.”
She sat up on the bed, covering herself with the blanket. “Come for breakfast?”
Cooper thought on that for half a second and was about to shake his head, when she added, “Please, Cooper. It’s not unusual for me to cook meals for the boys this time of year when the weather turns bad. No one will think it curious to find you here for the morning meal. And well, I’ll be going into town for the church service afterward. Reverend Alton is expecting me to lead the choir today. We’ll be singing our Christmas hymns.”
“You’re going to church today?”
She nodded and immediate shame washed over her. How could she rationalize what she’d done? Even as Cooper put on his boots and buttoned his shirt, evidence of their transgression assaulted her with full force. Yet, she had a difficult time thinking that what they’d shared was anything but wonderful. “Do you think I shouldn’t go now?”
Cooper’s face tightened. He set this jaw firm and spoke with conviction. “No, Rachel. That’s not why I questioned you. I’m not a churchgoing man, but if anyone deserves the Lord’s blessing, it’s you.” He became real quiet and his face twisted in pain before he looked away. “I wanted to spend more time with you. I…” he began, and let out a heavy sigh as he gazed at the dying embers in the hearth. “I have something to tell you. Something that might change what you think of me.”
Fear entered her heart, but she concealed it with a smile. “Cooper, you’re a good man. I couldn’t think anything else.”
He shot her a sharp, warning look. “Rachel, you don’t know me.”
“I think I do,” she said, but her own conviction started to ebb when she saw the dire look in his eyes.
“I gotta go. Sun’s ready to come up.” He bent his head and kissed her lightly on the lips then stroked her cheek.
She relished that slight touch and gazed into his eyes. “Will you come for breakfast? You can tell me what you need to say then.”
He nodded. “I’ll come.”
She watched him walk out of the bedroom and listened for the front door to shut behind him. The minute he was gone, undeniable loneliness overtook her.
She lowered onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. “Dear Lord,” she whispered ever so quietly. “I’ve fallen in love with Cooper Garnett.”
Chapter Five
Cooper was going to hurt Rachel. There was no doubt in his mind of that truth. If he had a half a brain, he’d tell her about the real reason he was in Cedar Flat then ride off her land without a look back. He was bound and determined to accomplish the first, but couldn’t quite manage the latter.
He needed to stick around these parts to find Hollings.
He called himself ten times a fool for seducing Rachel. He should have been stronger. He should have resisted her sweet smiles, honey-blond hair and sky-blue eyes. He should have stayed in town overnight. No use thinking backward, he reasoned as he closed the bunkhouse door and met with gray clouds overhead that moved in quickly, threatening a fierce winter storm.
He wasn’t looking forward to facing Rachel this morning. Not after the night they’d spent satisfying each other’s needs. He wasn’t a man who could do right by her. And today he had to tell her.
He knocked on her door, just past eight. It’d been only a few hours since he’d seen her, yet when she opened the door and he looked at her face, all his rightful reasoning faded into the beautiful hue of her eyes. He tipped his hat. “Morning.”
She welcomed him with a sunny smile. “Morning.”
They stared at each other.
Yearning deep in his gut nearly knocked him to his knees. He thought better than to act on it. He strode past her, removing his hat, attempting to ignore how striking she looked in her Sunday dress. It was a frilly little beige thing that rode up high on her neck and hugged her curves with lace everywhere. Her hair was tied up in loose curls that touched her neck soft-like. “Pretty,” he said.
A pleased expression stole over her face. “Thank you.”
The boy was there, too, and the second he noticed Cooper, he scrambled up from the floor and stood by his mother. “Cooper.”
“Yes, Cooper is here for breakfast.” Rachel told her son.
Johnny moved to Cooper’s legs and touched the hat he held in his hand. “Like it.”
Cooper released the hat, and the boy was all too eager to plop down on the floor right there to examine it.
“Don’t get dirty now, Johnny, and take care with the hat,” Rachel said to her son. “He likes big hats,” she explained, and Cooper nodded. His mouth dry, he couldn’t quite get the words out that would explain his situation. The boy, clad in a clean white shirt and trousers, rea
dy for church, was a constant reminder of the child he’d lost. His own son would have been nearly the same age, had he lived. He’d be dressed up in his Sunday best, playing with his father’s hat, getting ready to go to church with his family.
“I have breakfast all ready. Come,” Rachel said softly, aware of his discomfort somehow, “sit down.” She led him to the table that was already set, the food in covered bowls on the table.
“Smells good.”
She dished up his plate and set it in front of him. “You worked up an appetite last night.”
He snapped his eyes to hers, and her grin would have made him smile if what he was about to do wasn’t so damn serious. “Rachel, about that.”
She spared a glance at Johnny, making sure he was occupied and then turned to Cooper, staring deep into his eyes. “It wasn’t a mistake, so don’t try to convince me of it. If believing that makes me a bad person, then I’ll do my best to repent in church today. I’ll try to—”
Cooper stood, grabbed her wrist and pulled her close enough to mingle their breaths. He looked down into her eyes. “I told you last night, you’re not the one who needs repenting.”
She set her hands on his arms and stroked him gently. Her touch warmed everything cold inside him. “Do you need repenting?” she asked softly, her lips trembling.
“I do. I’m not fit to be here with you. Maybe you shouldn’t have saved my sorry life.”
Rachel blinked and tried not to show him how much his grim assessment unsettled her. “I’ll never be sorry I saved your life.”
“Not even if I mean to take another?”
Rachel stared at him, searching his eyes for a long moment. Cooper didn’t back down; he didn’t soften his glare. She needed to know his full intentions. “You can’t mean—”
“I’m searching for the man who murdered my family, Rachel. The coward who set my ranch house on fire, killing my wife and boy.”
The news that he’d had a family and the harsh way he spoke to her startled her speechless. She slumped in the chair, shaking her head. Finally, when she seemed to have absorbed all that he’d said, she gazed up at him and whispered so softly he barely heard her, “Tell me.”
Cooper eased himself down beside her, feeling defeated in one respect, seeing the light in Rachel’s eyes go dark. But at the same time, it was right that he shed the burden he held buried inside. Sharing the facts with Rachel would insure that she stay away from him now. She’d realize, once and for all, that he wasn’t a man worthy of her. He was on a single-minded mission and had no room in his bleak heart for anyone, much less a widow with a child of her own.
He held nothing back when he began his explanation. “My wife, Jocelyn, and my boy, Donny, they meant everything to me….”
Rachel listened to it all, asking a few quiet questions as he told her the events leading up to his being shot on her land. He held nothing back, baring his soul and anguish with a venomous accounting of his hatred of Hollings. He looked away from her as he spoke, staring straight ahead, too cowardly to witness the pain and regret in her eyes.
When he was through, he glanced at her and the moisture pooling in her eyes told him everything he needed to know. She knew the truth now. She wouldn’t harbor soft feelings for him. He’d accomplished his goal.
“You don’t have to do this.” Her sorrowful plea tore at his gut.
“I do. I will.” He left no room for doubt.
She rose abruptly, wiping away the tears that had leaked onto her cheeks. “Hitch up the wagon,” she said, her body stiff and her tone formal. She was his boss, and this wasn’t a request, but an order. “I’m expected at church.”
Cooper hesitated a moment, watching Rachel gather her things, dress Johnny in his heavy burlap coat then put hers on. She held the boy tight to her chest and waited, refusing to look at Cooper. It’s what he wanted, he told himself. Her disgust. But somehow, he hadn’t really expected it.
He strode outside, noting angry clouds gathering overhead as he made his way to the barn. He hitched up the buckboard wagon and brought it to the front of the house. Rachel and Johnny waited on the porch. She handed him a covered basket and he put that in the back of the wagon. Then she set Johnny onto the seat herself, and she climbed on too quickly for him to lend his aid.
He took the loose reins in his hands, reluctant to give them over. “Rachel, there’s a storm coming. Maybe you shouldn’t go.”
She grabbed the reins from him gently, careful not to touch him. Her smile was a little too sweet. “I know this land better than you, Cooper. The weather will hold. We’ll get to town before it breaks.”
He glanced at the threatening clouds once again and shook his head. “Doubtful, Rachel. Don’t go.”
“I’m going,” she said stubbornly.
“Then I’ll take you into town myself.”
“No.” Her lips barely moved when she added, “I’m no concern of yours.”
Cooper winced at her clipped tone. Even if the storm held off until she got into town, how would she manage to get home? But she wouldn’t hear another word on the subject. He already knew that. He watched her ride off, keeping Johnny close with one hand on him and the reins in the other.
Ten minutes later the sky above made a liar out of her.
Rachel couldn’t get away from the Double J fast enough. She’d held her tears at bay, restraining them until she was off her land. Now they flowed freely past her cheeks and mingled with the light drizzle raining down her face. She hurried the horses along the path. Johnny would never notice her tears, the rain being the best disguise. He’d never know his mother’s heart was breaking.
For Cooper.
And for his loss.
He’d had a wife. A child. Rachel had been stunned to hear it. He’d had a family, much like the family she and Josh and Johnny had been. Cooper’s wife and boy died in a tragic way. But as Cooper had spoken the words, grimly distant and detached from reality, she knew of his anguish and she’d been jealous, God forgive her, of the woman who held his heart. The woman Cooper would sell his soul to avenge.
“Dear Lord,” she muttered quietly, trying to still her anger. But the rage kept building as she thought of the danger Cooper might be inviting. Rachel had already mourned the loss of one man she’d loved. It had been an accident. Josh had the misfortune of being the identical twin brother of a bounty hunter after the lawbreaking scoundrel, Rusty Metcalf. Bodine had been relentless in his pursuit, so when Metcalf saw Josh in town, he’d mistakenly thought him the bounty hunter out to bring him in. Metcalf took aim and shot her unsuspecting husband in cold blood.
Now Cooper was bent on pursuing a heartless killer, mindless of the danger he might be in. Recklessly, Rachel had thrown caution to the wind and fallen in love again. She’d given herself to Cooper and now she regretted it. She couldn’t go through that torment again. Of loving and losing another good man.
“Mama…I’m cold,” little Johnny said, snuggling under the blanket she’d draped over him.
“I know, Johnny. Pretend we’re sitting in the warm church. Afterward we’ll have hot apple cider and cookies at Pastor Alton’s. I promise.”
Johnny shivered beside her and a crack of thunder made him jump up. “It’s okay,” she said, trying to comfort, but then the sky opened up and rain poured down in buckets. The road, already sodden from a hard winter had quickly turned to thick black paste. The wagon slowed, even as the horses tried pulling them free of the soaked earth. Rachel was half the distance to town. She could forge on, or turn back and go home. But going home meant dealing with Cooper, and she didn’t have the courage to do that right now. She called to the duo of horses, the strongest in her string, to get going. She clucked her tongue, but no amount of encouraging could get the wagon moving faster.
Hard rain hit her cheeks. Thunder boomed and a flash of lightning lit the sky. Johnny cried out and she did her best to comfort him, snuggling him deeper into the blanket that was two dry threads away from being drenched. She h
ad to turn back. She had no choice now.
“Stay here, Johnny. Mama’s going to turn the horses.” Rachel climbed down from the wagon, her booted feet sinking into three inches of mud. She trudged to the front of the horses and grabbed hold of Blaze’s bridle. Another clap of thunder boomed overhead, and the mare jolted nervously, shoving against Rachel’s shoulder. She felt herself flying backward, knocked off her feet into thick layers of sludge. Her head met with something hard on the ground. Sharp pain exploded and she cried out. Her mind spun as the cold ooze of the earth sucked her farther down. She fought to keep her eyes open, but she lost that battle all too soon, and they closed against the blinding rain. Her fading thoughts were of Johnny, alone in the wagon.
“Rachel, Rachel, wake up, darlin’.”
Rachel’s eyes opened slowly to the sound of Cooper’s gentle voice. He held her carefully in his arms. A sense of peace washed over her. Was she dreaming or was he really here, holding her close, looking at her with softness in his eyes. Her mind muddled and her thoughts scattered like fallen leaves swept up by the wind. “Cooper,” she uttered, barely able to catch her breath.
He lowered her to the bed, the chill in her bones warming now as she felt the familiar sag of her mattress underneath her. “W-what happened?”
“You got caught in the storm,” he said, his eyes roving over her slowly, intent on his examination. He sat on the bed beside her. “Do you remember?”
The minute she did, her eyes went wide and she tried to lift up. “Johnny!”
Cooper wouldn’t let her rise. With care, he grabbed her shoulders and eased her back down. “He’s fine. Stay down and rest. I’ll get him.”
Cooper left her side for a moment. When he returned, her beautiful boy was clinging to Cooper’s neck. He was wrapped in a blanket, soaked to the bone. “I’m going to get the fire going and dry him up. Just rest, Rachel.”
Western Winter Wedding Bells Page 25
