“Don’t go,” she said, focusing on her son. “Please.”
“Mama’s hurt,” Johnny said, shivering and pointing his finger at her.
Cooper set Johnny down and built a fire in the hearth, explaining, “Your ma hit her head on a rock. But your mama’s head is harder than the rock.” Cooper sent her a sideways glance. “She’s going to be just fine.”
Johnny seemed to absorb every word. He nodded, watching Cooper toss a match into kindling. The fire blazed to life, fascinating her son.
“We’ve got to get you dry, Johnny,” Cooper said, hunkering down next to Johnny. He faced her son on his knees and removed the blanket wrapped snugly around him, then began peeling off his wet clothes. When he was through, Cooper dried him with a towel, rubbing his skin gently up and down then tousling his mussed hair, making Johnny giggle.
Rachel’s head ached liked the dickens and a quick flash of memory reminded her why. She recalled the storm, and all that occurred before it. But seeing Cooper with Johnny eased the pain in her head some, witnessing for the first time Cooper’s gentle way with her boy. Up until now, Cooper barely regarded Johnny and she’d wondered if he didn’t like children. But now she knew the truth and her heart ached, seeing the father Cooper had once been. Seeing the care he gave Johnny, despite his reluctance, made her love him even more.
Johnny rubbed his eyes, a telltale sign of his fatigue. Though it couldn’t be more than ten in the morning, her baby had already been through a grueling day.
“Kiss Mama,” Cooper said, lifting Johnny in his arms, then lowering him at an angle enough for Johnny to plant two moist lips to her cheek. She smiled and thanked God for Cooper’s rescue today, berating herself for her silly foolish pride that put her son in danger.
She didn’t want to think about Cooper’s would-be act of vengeance. Not now. It hurt her head too much. All she wanted…was right here in front of her. Her son and the man she loved.
“Thank you, Johnny. I love you so very much.” And you too, Cooper.
When he reached for her, Cooper pulled him away. “You’ll see your mama later. She needs to rest.” Cooper caught her eye then, and she nodded. “I’ll be back to deal with your injury,” he said.
Rachel watched him leave the room holding Johnny in his arms. The scene was almost too hard to witness because she wanted it so. She wanted Cooper to stay, to make her whole again. To make the three of them a family.
Rachel closed her eyes tight and made a wish.
The only one she had for Christmas.
Chapter Six
An hour later, Rachel sat up in her bed, sipping coffee that Cooper had laced with a bit of whiskey. For her nerves, he’d said, and to warm her up. She winced at the taste, the liquor burning her throat as it went down. The storm raged outside. No telling when it would let up. She’d been careless and rash and let her stubborn pride win out over rational thinking. Now she saw the error of her ways.
“Thank you,” she offered to Cooper, who sat in a chair across from her. “For coming for us.”
This was the first chance she’d had to truly thank him, and she didn’t have words enough to show her appreciation. After he’d gotten Johnny to sleep, Cooper had returned to her room. He’d washed the slight blood from her head and undressed her. She’d protested, but then realized she didn’t have the strength to argue. He’d taken her muddy clothes off her down to her chemise and left her to clean herself up while he brewed a pot of coffee in the kitchen.
Now, she was relatively clean, dabbed with rose water and didn’t smell as much like cow dung.
Cooper looked down into his mug of coffee, shaking his head. “It was a fool move, Rachel.”
“I know,” she admitted.
“You put your life in danger,” he said, his voice stern and angry.
She couldn’t disagree. She’d put Johnny’s life at risk, and she’d never forget it or forgive herself yet she couldn’t help but defend her actions. “Not deliberately.”
“I warned you and you should have listened.”
When she thought he’d continue lecturing her, he said instead, “I’m to blame. It was my fault.”
Her head snapped up. “No, it wasn’t.”
“I hurt you, Rachel. It wasn’t my intent.” He looked at her now, his gaze roving over the flow of her hair. “And you lashed out.”
“I’m prideful.”
“Yeah.” He almost smiled in agreement and then his voice took on a fierce tone. “I couldn’t stand it if you or the boy got hurt on my account.”
“We won’t,” she lied. She already knew that the day Cooper left for good, both she and Johnny would miss him terribly for the longest time. “I mean, I won’t do anything so incredibly…thoughtless, again.”
A log fell in the hearth and the fire blazed, outlining the angles of Cooper’s handsome face.
“But won’t you reconsider, Cooper? Won’t you let the authorities handle the situation with Hollings?”
“I won’t rest until that man is dead.”
A chill ran along her spine at the cold way he uttered that statement.
“I can’t expect them to find Hollings,” he went on. “He’s been drifting from place to place. Spending my money.” He shook his head and his expression grew even fiercer. “He took everything from me.”
Rachel hurt for him. She understood the kind of pain that burned a hole in your stomach day in and day out from grieving. She set her cup down and rose to kneel in front of him. Her hand went to his face, her fingers brushing over his skin lightly. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
He held her hand to his face, crushing her palm to his cheek, and he closed his eyes briefly. “You matter to me, Rachel.”
She lifted her lips to his and kissed him.
He pulled away from her, his voice strained with regret. “I should go. Leave the ranch before—”
“Is that what you want?” she breathed.
He sighed, the heavy sound coming from deep inside. “Don’t, Rachel. You tempt me and I’m not strong enough to resist you like this. But mark my words, I will have to leave you one day.”
In that moment, Rachel knew what she wanted. And that was Cooper—on his terms if it had to be that way. The longer he stayed, the longer she’d have to change his mind. He wasn’t a killer. She’d never think of him that way.
“But you’re here now. That’s all I’m asking.”
He touched the strands of hair just below the bruised knot at the back of her head. “You’re injured.”
The greatest injury was to her heart, not her head. “It doesn’t hurt anymore.”
Cooper took her arms gently and lifted them both up so they stood by the fire. He kissed her soundly on the lips, brushing their bodies close. She trembled from his touch, from being so near him. Was she wrong to want this time with him? To feel his strength and power, his warmth and comfort for just a little while?
He wrapped both arms around her waist and pulled her even closer, his mouth claiming hers in heated, hungry kisses. She fell into him, yearning for more. Had it been just last night that they’d been together like this, when he’d made her feel womanly and alive again?
He scooped her up easily and carried her back to bed. She watched him shed his clothes as the rain continued to fall with far less rage. It was eerily dark and noiseless now, but for the pings hitting the window and rooftop.
She marveled at how beautiful a man Cooper was. Firelight danced shadows across his body but couldn’t hide his pure manly form, the breadth of his shoulders that led to a narrowed waist. The bed took his weight with a creak and groan, and Rachel slid aside to make room for him. He took her back into his arms immediately, his gaze watchful, taking care that he wasn’t hurting her.
The only way he could truly hurt me is to leave, she thought.
And then, Cooper banished all thoughts from her head. He made love to her with slow and deliberate moves that made her breaths quicken and her body arch and ache for more. He nuzzled her
neck and moistened her skin with his tongue, causing unabashed cries of pleasure to surge from her throat.
She swallowed hard and tried to catch her breath every time his hands caressed her breasts, every time his mouth wreaked havoc with her lips.
She witnessed a fiery gleam in his eyes, his expression taut and filled with lust. And when he rolled over and beckoned her with a gaze so hot it would surely melt snow, she rose over him and made love to him in much the same fashion as he had her. She relished his body with her mouth and moistened his skin with her tongue.
“Rachel,” he groaned, his kisses intense and his arms about her possessively. She loved the feel of him, the way she could bring him pleasure. He held her firm now, his hands splayed over her waist. And in his next breath, Cooper lifted her atop him, bringing her down onto his shaft, filling her body with him.
She ached for him in every way and she took him inside her with shameless joy. He guided her with sure eyes, his body responding to her every move. The pleasure heightened and she closed her eyes to him, absorbing every bone-melting sensation, riding Cooper as she was, fully aware that she’d never forget this moment, not if she lived one hundred years.
“Now, sweetheart,” he urged. And they rode the storm out together until lightning struck one last time and the last drops of their passion were shed.
Rachel sank down on Cooper, exhausted and happy, her body still humming. He held her tight and planted kisses on her forehead. They lay there for several minutes until their breaths calmed. Then he whispered, “Will you do something for me?”
Anything. “What is that?”
“Stay in bed and try to rest. The storm’s over. I’ve got to see to the fire and check on the livestock.”
Rachel snuggled against him. She wanted to ask him to stay in bed with her, but she knew he was right. She needed to rest, to gain her strength back from the ordeal out on the road. “I’ll rest.”
He kissed her one last time then got out of bed. “I’ll check on you later. Get some sleep.”
Rachel nodded, watching him dress by the fire. When he left the room, her eyes drifted closed. Her heart heavy now, she realized that with the storm passing and the boys coming back to the ranch soon, her time alone with Cooper was almost over.
Cooper left the comfort of Rachel’s bed. He wasn’t thinking clearly. He had to get a grip and shake the cobwebs from his addled brain. He stared out the window in the main room, watching light drizzle ebb and clouds overhead disperse. The skies would lighten soon as the sun forced its way through the gloom. The earth would dry and life would continue on as usual.
His respite with Rachel was a mistake, though the mistake felt too damn good. He’d been a fool to weaken to temptation. There was no way around hurting Rachel when he did what he came here to do. His recovery and this storm had interrupted his plans, but now he had no excuses, no reason not to fully engage in finding Hollings and setting that part of his life to rights.
Cooper left the window and strode quietly to pull the curtain back and check on the boy. Johnny slept peacefully, his little body curled up and snuggled under a heavy quilt. The boy had been frightened and near hysterical when Cooper had found him on the wagon, ready to try to climb down to help his mother. He’d been freezing cold and shivering. Cooper was only glad he’d gotten there in time before the boy was injured.
He’d rescued Rachel and Johnny from the elements and he was grateful to have saved them, but it didn’t make up for his leaving his wife and child unprotected on the ranch. He hadn’t saved them. How many times had Jocelyn asked him to teach her how to shoot a gun? How many times had she wanted to learn how to protect herself? Cooper argued that he’d never leave her in danger so he’d denied her time and again, asking for her trust. Perhaps his pride had been at stake and it had bolstered him when she’d dropped the request. She had trusted him. And in the end, he had betrayed her.
Cooper watched the boy sleep, mesmerized by Johnny’s sweet breaths sliding up and down his little chest. He was an innocent child who’d deserved a family, a mother and a father to love and raise him. Cooper shook his head at the thought.
It wouldn’t be him.
He couldn’t fail another family.
Cooper put on his heavy coat, lifting the collar to the cold and strode outside. He had cows to milk, horses to tend, stalls to muck and eggs to gather. He wouldn’t let Rachel down, at least not in that respect.
He did his work in intervals, checking on Rachel and Johnny before moving on to the next chore. He needed to keep his mind on other matters, but every so often he’d lose the struggle and fist his hands tight, thinking about the day when he would leave the Double J Ranch and Rachel behind.
She was alone before you came and she’ll be alone when you go.
But she wasn’t entirely alone, he thought. She had Jess and the boys. She had friends in town and neighbors nearby. That thought brought him a measure of solace.
He filled a bucket with oats and carried it around to the horse stalls. “There you go,” he said to Blaze, giving her an extra helping. “You had yourself quite a day.” It wasn’t the horse’s fault that Rachel had been shoved down and hurt. In truth, he’d hitched up the most docile horses for her ride into town. A more spirited horse might have reared up and trampled her.
Cooper made his way into the house to check on Johnny. The boy had been napping for almost three hours. When he peered behind the curtain of his room, he found Johnny sitting up on his knees, looking a bit bewildered, his blond hair tousled from sleep. “Where’s Mama?” he said, clutching his blanket.
Cooper removed his coat and strode over to him. “She’s napping, just like you.”
Johnny crawled the length of the bed and once he reached the foot he lifted his arms to Cooper. “Up.”
Cooper’s gut twisted tight and he hesitated a moment. The hopeful look on the boy’s face melted the cold in his heart. He lifted Johnny in his arms and held him to his chest. The boy set his head on his shoulder, and Cooper closed his eyes, breathing in Johnny’s little boy scent and the sweetness of his skin.
Just minutes later, Cooper sat with Johnny on his lap as the main room’s fire snapped and crackled. He held a picture book in his hands and Johnny pointed out and recited each object. The boy was amazingly bright for his age and adept at learning. His mother would have no trouble with his schooling in that regard.
Cooper felt another presence in the room as the scent of roses wafted in. He turned his head to find Rachel in the bedroom doorway, watching.
Her eyes gleamed and her face filled with quiet joy as she looked at the two of them and the scene they must have presented. Her expression appeared full of hope and expectation. He wanted to shout out, no. Don’t look at us this way. Her soft wishful smile ripped him to shreds.
He rose immediately, putting Johnny down on the chair with the book and stared at her. “You look rested.”
She moved across the room. “I slept well.” She lifted her son and settled him against her hip. Gently, she fingered a few stray strands of hair off his forehead and kissed him there.
“Mama, Cooper learned me.”
Cooper stiffened when she cast a knowing look his way before responding to her son. “I saw that, sweetness.”
“How’s your head?” he asked her.
“Better. It doesn’t hurt anymore. I’m feeling fine.”
“Okay then.” He glanced out the window to find sunshine breaking through the clouds. “I’ve got more chores to do.”
“O-okay,” she said, her eyes dimming. Disappointment filled her expression when she realized his withdrawal and Cooper knew it was for the best. Tomorrow, he’d continue his manhunt. “I’ll see you at supper.”
He nodded, then put his coat and hat on and walked out the door. The sooner she got used to not having him around, the better.
Chapter Seven
Two days after the storm, Cooper received a message from Chick, who’d just gotten back from a trip into town. �
��The sheriff has news he says you’d want to know. He wants you to come into town soon as you can.”
Cooper lowered the brim of his hat, hiding the expectant expression on his face. Finally, maybe he had a lead. “Did he say anything else?”
“Nope, just for me to get the message to you.”
“Okay, thanks.”
A hundred notions muddled his mind, but the one that stuck, the one that gave him both peace and a sense of dread, was that the sheriff knew something about Hollings.
It was late in the afternoon and he was done repairing fences along the northern edge of the pasture. He’d put in a full day’s work and wouldn’t sleep a wink all night if he waited for tomorrow to see the sheriff.
Chick was halfway to the bunkhouse when Cooper called out, “I’m going into town. Tell Jess not to wait on supper.”
Chick acknowledged him and when Cooper turned his head, he saw Rachel on the porch, her gaze locked with his. With determined steps, she marched down the stairs, coming straight toward him. “Why are you going into town, Cooper?”
He winced, seeing the concern in her eyes. “That’s my business.”
“I see,” she said, her blue eyes sparking fire. His rude response didn’t stop her. “What business?”
Cooper sighed. “Rachel, the sheriff wants to see me.”
She blinked and her words escaped with a gasp. “He’s found Hollings.”
Cooper rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know that for sure.”
“But you’re hoping.” She rushed the words out like an accusation.
He couldn’t look into her eyes. He peered down at the tips of her boots, nearly touching his. She was beautiful and kind and spirited, but he couldn’t let that persuade him. Not after he’d come so far. “Yeah, I’m hoping.”
“Cooper, let the sheriff handle it,” she pleaded.
“Rachel, we’ve been over this.”
“What are you going to do?” she asked, her voice a mere whisper. Her eyes went soft on him and tugged his heart in ten different directions.
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