Releasing the Watcher: The Fallen Angel Trilogy #3

by Kim Loraine

  “Really, Sariel? Does Michael have to send me to you every time he needs something?” Gabriel’s annoyed tone sets my jaw on edge. I hadn’t even felt the shift in the air when he’d arrived. That is how distracted Selah has me.

  “I’m busy.”

  Gabriel lets out a snort—something between a laugh and a scoff. “You have an agreement with Michael. You serve the greater good. And, Sariel…there’s something you need to know about Selah.”

  My spine stiffens as I turn my gaze on him. “What?”

  “She may have the same soul, but Selah isn’t the same woman. Her body looks similar, that’s true, but she’s lived a different existence. She won’t ever remember you, or the life you shared.”

  Heart clenching, I try to conceal my anger. “Then why give her back to me?”

  He tips his head back, eyes on the heavens, and sighs. “She isn’t here solely for you. Truly, she’s not here for you at all. You condemned her when you took her the first time—when you put a Nephilim in her belly.” The memory of Selah, her womb growing heavy with my child, hits me like a sledgehammer. “This life is for her. Our Father never wanted to hurt the women the Watchers took as their own. They were collateral damage. He loves them, as He loves you. Those women have been given second chances over the last thousand years. But, there were only seven fallen who had true soul mates. Those were the last He released.”

  My gut clenches at his words. “You mean there are six other Watchers who could find their other halves?”

  Gabriel’s gaze flits to the floor. “There are only four others. Armaros and Orus have left us. It was too late for them.”

  “Who else?”

  Shaking his head, Gabriel shifts and walks to the wide window that overlooks the city. “I don’t have that information. But, as you can see, there is significant cause for our brothers to stop this disastrous mission of theirs. If they know they could possibly find their soul mates, they might be swayed.”

  “Then tell them. You found me. Why can’t you find them?”

  “They’re cloaked. You know something about how to accomplish that. Those cursed witches will help anyone if they think there’s benefit for them. I’m sure Azazel got his hands on a spell, then spoke with the fallen. It wouldn’t take much effort to get into their minds and convinced them this was the only way to find some kind of peace. Heaven is all they think they have.”

  “And what about the others who have no mates?”

  “They may already be lost. That isn’t something I can control.” He shrugs, making rage boil inside my chest. How dare he make light of their damnation?

  “They fell because they wanted what I had found.” I bite out the words through clenched teeth as guilt swarms my belly.

  “They did. And some of them found it. Others found Lucifer.”

  “How does giving me this damn sword and power help? If we don’t know who may still be convinced, how can I save them?”

  Gabriel sits on the couch, his elbows resting on his knees, fingers steepled in front of him. “You may not be able to. Wouldn’t you rather have some kind of arsenal at your disposal? Or would you rather face Watchers who have the strength of ten men apiece with nothing but your mortal body?”

  “Fair point.”

  What the hell is wrong with me? I just broke every single girl’s-night-out rule there is. I got sloppy drunk, nearly puked all over the damn place, and went home with a strange—gorgeous—man. Erica must be worried sick, although Sam had said she’d abandoned me. Maybe she didn’t care that much. She’d probably found herself some entertainment for the evening. There was a distinct reason she’d chosen McCoy’s Firehouse. She’s a little bit of a badge bunny, routinely hooking up with the firefighters who frequent the bar. Adam will not be happy when he finds out what I was up to last night.

  Shit.

  Adam.

  Seriously, what the hell is wrong with me? My poor fiancé is probably sitting at home, waiting for me to walk through the door so we can work things out, and I’ve been in another man’s bed. Granted, I think I may have vomited on Sam, or at least near him. I can’t remember, but that is decidedly not sexy.

  After paying my driver, I stand outside the short stretch of sidewalk that leads up to my cozy duplex. It’s a far cry from the sleek and modern home Sam has. Shaking my head, I try to clear the flood of arousal coursing through me at the mere thought of the man. But I can’t. His eyes burned with need as he dropped his lips so close, I could have tasted him if I’d only been a little more brazen.

  Turning my key in the lock, I fight a wave of fear at the sharp scent of Adam’s cologne. He’s here. He was waiting for me. Guilt swamps me in heavy waves.

  “Where have you been, Selah? I’ve been here for hours.”

  I can’t see him from this vantage point. My living room is shrouded in darkness, the soft glow of the digital clock on my cable box the only light in the small space.

  “Adam? What are you doing here?”

  Light fills the room as Adam turns on the side table lamp. He looks like hell. His usually impeccable hair hangs over his forehead, as though he’s been tugging at it. And the rumpled and disheveled suit he’s wearing speaks of a broken man, not the cool and together presence I know.

  “I’m here for you. I made a mistake. I realized that the second I walked out your door.”

  The ache in his words makes me want to cry. “You accused me of cheating on you, Adam.”

  Standing, he crosses the room and takes my hands. “I know. I know. Shit, babe. I’m so fucking sorry. But…you said some other guy’s name, and then there was that prick at the lake. You were touching him.”

  “His tattoos.”

  “What are you talking about? He didn’t have any damn tattoos. Besides, it was still his body. You let him touch you.”

  Shaking my head, I sigh. “I already apologized for that.”

  “How would you feel if it had been me doing that with another girl?”

  His gaze is filled with a plea for me to understand. And I do, but the truth is, I think this change between us was a long time coming. “I wouldn’t have been happy.”

  I stiffen as his focus drifts across my body and settles on my hair. Fuck. I must look like I’ve been rolling around in a bed. I don’t do sexily tousled. When I get out of bed, my hair is an absolute mess.

  “What have you been doing?”

  A heated blush creeps up my neck as an unwelcome memory of Sam holding me, his thumb caressing my lower lip. “I drank too much and went with a friend until I could handle getting a cab home.”

  His hands slide up my arms, and at the same time, he pulls me against him. As he inhales deeply, his fingers bite into my skin. “What was this friend’s name? And why the hell do you smell like another guy?”

  Placing both palms flat on his broad chest, I shove myself backward, out of his grip. “We broke up. Don’t you remember? I can come back to my own house smelling like whomever I choose.”

  Anger flashes in his eyes. “No. We decided to take some time to figure things out. That’s not the same. I love you. You just make me crazy sometimes.”

  I hate it when he gets this way. Stomping over to the front door, I fling it open and stare at him, defiance bubbling up and making me tremble enough that I have to grit my teeth. “Get out, Adam. Leave your key on the table.”

  “Babe.”

  Holding up a hand, I fight the adrenaline coursing through me. “No. You were right. We need time apart.”

  “Did you fuck him?”

  I can’t stop my gasp. “Are you kidding me?”

  Taking two long strides toward me, he has me pressed back against the wall, his jealousy a tangible thing. “I’m serious, Selah. Did you fuck him? Did you give it to him without hesitation? Or did you make him beg for it like I always have to?”

  Shaking my head, I move to sidle out from his overbearing presence. “The fact that you asked me that question proves exactly why you were right about us. You need t
o go. I have a lot to think about and I can’t do that with you here.”

  Instead of arguing with me, he pulls his hands through his hair and lets out a groan of frustration. “Don’t do this, Sea.”

  I repress a shudder. I hate that nickname. “I didn’t do anything this time. This one is all you, Adam.”

  In a flash of silver, he pulls my spare key from his pocket and drops it in my hand. “You’ll change your mind. I know it.”

  I have to close my eyes to fight the trembling across my entire being. Something about him keeps me coming back, but that pull isn’t enough for me to stay with someone who won’t trust me.

  “I don’t think so. Good night. I’m sorry it ended like this.”

  “It’s not over.”

  Shrugging, I relax slightly as he steps over the threshold and starts down the sidewalk. As I close the door behind him, I slide down the wood until my ass hits the floor.

  “What a fucking mess,” I mutter to the empty house.

  Thousands of years ago, Mesopotamia

  Nausea rolls my stomach as I step out into the heat of the day. A cold sweat breaks out over my skin, my heartbeat racing, and it’s all I can do to keep from dropping the basket of washing I’m carrying and retch all over the clothing. It has been six months since our wedding, six months of my husband spending himself inside my body every night. And by the slight swell of my belly, we have since conceived a child.

  I haven’t told Sariel yet, but it won’t be long before I can no longer hide the changes in my form. My breasts are fuller, heavy and aching. My husband will notice, if he has not already. He has taken care to learn my body better than I know it myself.

  Taking a deep breath, I will away the need to be sick and let the joy come. We’ve made a baby. He should return from tending our small flock of sheep soon. Tonight, as we share our supper, I will give him the wonderful news.

  The thought of eating makes my gut clench, and this time, I can’t contain it. I drop the basket and rush to the nearest bush, coughing and retching.

  A warm palm rubs circles over my back, and my husband’s voice is a soothing balm as my shoulders tremble. “Why didn’t you tell me you felt unwell this morning?”

  Resting a palm on my stomach, I sigh and right myself. It’s not the most romantic moment to share our news, but the worry on my husband’s face shows me it is the best time.

  “I… I’m fine, Sariel. Don’t worry about me.”

  He brushes a strand of hair away from my face. “You aren’t. Come lie down. You need rest. Your face is pale. Your eyes are pained.”

  Pushing on his chest, I take a step back and grab his hand. “Sariel.” I rest his large palm over my middle and watch as his brows pull together. Those startling irises flit to mine, and the pride shining in them makes my heart squeeze almost painfully.

  “Are you…”

  I nod, trying desperately to hold back the tears. “I’ve not bled in months. I’m ill most mornings…and…” I run his hand over the small bump before continuing. “I can feel our child growing inside me.”

  He drops to his knees, landing on the dusty earth before wrapping both arms around my hips and pressing a kiss to the place our baby is safe and sound. “I love you, Selah. I love you. Thank you for this gift.”

  Eclipsed by joy, we stand in the path between the home we made and the river, loving each other, hoping for a future neither of us imagined.

  The night is warm and calm aside from the rain. I should be sleeping with my Selah, but I can’t. Instead, I sit on the edge of our bed, watching her slumber peacefully. Her hand rests over the swell of her belly, our child moving inside making her palm shift along with his motion. My smile is involuntary. Selah can’t possibly know what she’s giving me. It seems a lifetime ago that I was nothing more than an angel, uninterested in humans beyond observing and delivering messages.

  A rumble of thunder sends a shiver down my spine. Selah sighs as she shifts and murmurs my name. I want nothing more than to get into bed with her, hold her tight to me and savor the feel of her body tucked against mine. But I know Gabriel waits for me. I feel his presence as though he is in the room. My body may be mortal, but I will always be an angel.

  Pressing a kiss to her forehead, I leave Selah with a heavy heart. If Gabriel is here, nothing good can come of it.

  Thousands of years ago, Mesopotamia

  I wake to the pattering of rain. Incessant and troubling. A chill runs down my spine at the empty place in the bed where my husband should be. Sariel has held me close every night since we ran off to be wed, but tonight, he’s absent. The child in my womb squirms and stretches its limbs. Only a few months to go until we meet him. I’m sure he’s a boy. I’ve had dreams of his beautiful face. Silver eyes like his father’s, dark hair like mine, and the sweetest smile.

  Carefully getting to my feet, I pull a shawl around my shoulders and wander our small home. There’s a candle burning on the table, but Sariel is nowhere to be found. Where could he be? Has something happened due to the near month-long rainstorm?

  Stepping outside into the torrential downpour, I scan the surrounding fields for any sign of him. The rainwater runs into my eyes, soaking my hair and clothing in seconds. I’m about to go inside, but my heart lurches as I see two men standing under the cover of a large tree in our grove. I shouldn’t be able to make them out, not with the clouds covering the moon, but light surrounds them both. With cautious steps, I head toward them, my toes sinking in the muddy earth beneath them.

  “…I fell, I am done with my old life. Leave us be.”

  “Sariel, you must abandon them. Hundreds fell because of your choice. Some have begotten children, unnatural and dangerous Nephilim. They’ve grown at terrifying speeds, killing their mothers as they come into the world.”

  My husband crosses his arms over his chest and shakes his head. “This child isn’t unnatural, Gabriel. He’s my son. You’ve seen for yourself, the baby grows at a normal pace. I can’t leave.”

  “Brother…it is a lost cause. In fourteen days time, there will be a flood beyond any which have ever occurred. All will be washed away. Do you hear me? Nothing will be left standing and no one spared save one man and his family. You are not that man.”

  “He won’t take me back. Not now. My weakness caused this.”

  My gut clenches. Sariel wants to go back. He thinks he made a mistake, choosing me.

  “You could beg His forgiveness. Make retribution.”

  Sariel shakes his golden head before running his hands through his hair. “No. I do not regret my time with Selah. I will never ask forgiveness for loving her, and I’ll never beg Him to take me back. Know this, I’ll die with her, loving her, and no matter what my punishment, I will never forgive Him for taking her from me.”

  Heart aching with love for this man, I start back toward the house, not wanting him to know I’ve heard. Rumbling thunder rolls across the sky, curiously getting louder rather than dying down. It’s only when Sariel screams my name that I see the bolt of lightning arch overhead. My hair stands on end as the branch above my head is struck. Sparks fall around me in slow motion, and the tree splinters. My body won’t move, and I know I’ve met my end before the ruined wood connects with my head. I have only a moment to be thankful there’s no pain before everything goes silent and dark.

  A sense of utter terror and despair grips me as I rush toward my wife. But Selah is gone before I can reach her. The peaceful expression on her beloved face gives me no comfort. Heart shattering, I use every ounce of strength I have to pull the remnants of the tree off her.

  “No, my love, don’t leave me. I…” I can’t continue. The sob stuck in my throat has me unable to choke out anything. Cradling her in my arms, I stare up at the sky, the rain falling mercilessly. I can’t bring myself to look at her, to see the swell of her belly, to feel the crushing weight of losing everything. White-hot rage takes hold, burning up my heart. “Take me now, Father. Punish me, ruin me. There’s nothing else you
could do now that you’ve taken her from me.”

  Gabriel stands beside me, I know he’s there without even looking. I can feel him. “Brother…”

  I shoot a withering glare at him. “Do not speak to me if you are going to tell me you are sorry. Unless you can bring them back, give me the life I wanted, I want nothing from you.”

  “Let her go.”

  Those three words spear me clean through. How can I? My soul is connected to hers and now…now that I felt the death of her, I’ve been torn in two.

  “Where is she? Has he let her ascend? Please tell me she won’t be punished for my misdeeds.”

  A sad look crosses his face. “She laid with you knowing what you are. She knew you’d fallen and yet kept you for her own.”

  I pull her closer, taking in the softness of her body, unwilling to accept what I know is true. “You can’t mean she is going to burn. She is innocent. Her only crime was loving me.”

  “I am sorry, brother.”

  Gently cradling her, I rise and carry her to the home we made together. My body feels strange, numb and agonized all at once. I can’t breathe as I lay her on the bed.

  Glancing over my shoulder, I ask, “How can I save her?”

  Gabriel stands behind me, arms crossed, brow furrowed. “What?”

  “You heard me. I’m damned, but she shouldn’t be. How can I give her soul a chance at redemption?”

  Closing his eyes, he goes very still. Minutes pass in silence as my heart continues to beat, sending waves of heartbreak through my veins. When his eyes snap open, the expression in them is anguished.

  “You can never return to Heaven. You’ll live out eternity cursed to share the bodies of the damned, fighting for control.”