by Kim Lawrence
He seemed to thrive on the challenges, but she wondered if she could adapt to such uncertainties. She realized she liked the routine of her job, of her daily habits. Maybe she’d been fooling herself that she was a footloose kind of person.
All too soon he was gone. Sara sat in the empty living room and wondered what she was going to do with the rest of the weekend. Shopping held no appeal. Nor did seeing apartments without him. If she were home, there’d be plenty to do.
Maybe she should return to her own place. She could start packing for the move, get rid of things she didn’t need. Make sure all perishables were taken care of.
The knock on the door surprised her. She wasn’t expecting anyone.
Opening the door, Sara came face-to-face with a young, busty blonde wearing a tight dark blue shirt and painted-on jeans.
“Hi, is Matt here?” the woman asked.
“No, he’s on his way to Paris.”
“That lucky guy. He’s always going somewhere fabulous isn’t he? Are you his latest?”
“Latest?”
“Girlfriend. I’m Leslie White. He and I were an item a few months ago. I think I left my favorite lipstick here. I can’t find it anywhere and remember using it once when I was here.”
Sara stared at her. “I haven’t seen it,” she said.
Leslie tilted her head slightly. “It might be in the bathroom, or in the bedside table. I could take a quick look.”
“Come in.” Sara stepped aside and closed the door behind her unexpected guest. She watched as Leslie walked straight through to the bathroom, and a moment later headed for the bedroom. Sara followed. It was obvious Leslie knew her away around the apartment. Just how close had she and Matt been?
Sara felt a pang of jealousy. This woman was young, trim and pretty. She moved with assurance. For a moment, Sara could picture Matt and Leslie together. She frowned. That was in the past. Matt was married to her now.
“Nope, not either place,” Leslie said with a frown. She looked at Sara again. “You staying here? I saw some girly stuff in the bathroom. Matt usually doesn’t use pink razors.”
“Matt and I are married.” Sara should have told her that at the beginning.
“Married? Matt? No way! I don’t believe it.” The surprise on Leslie’s face was almost comical.
“A week ago Thursday,” Sara said, resisting the urge to wave her wedding ring in front of Leslie’s nose. The younger woman was stunning, her eyes large and expressive, her long hair a pale blond, nothing like her own honey-brown color.
“I never thought I’d see the day. If I’d ever believed he’d settle down, I’d have tried harder. Good for you catching him.”
“I didn’t catch him,” Sara said.
Leslie crossed her arms over her rather large chest and looked around. “I never thought he’d stay still long enough to get married. He’s always going somewhere. But we had fun when he was here. Darn, I wish I knew where my lipstick was. They don’t make that color anymore and I loved it.”
“If I find it, I’ll be sure to let you know,” Sara said, trying not to picture Matt with this younger woman. He’d chosen her to marry, not Leslie or anyone else.
But it was hard not to compare herself and her conservative clothes to this beautiful, trendy, younger woman.
“Sure. Hey, tell Matt congrats for me, will you?” Leslie headed for the front door. “He’ll know where to find me if you do find the lipstick.”
She left and Sara remained standing where she was. She’d heard Dex call him a playboy, and for a moment, she’d been thrilled someone like that would single her out. Now she wasn’t sure how she felt coming face to face with someone from Matt’s past.
Rational thought should dictate she let it go. But she couldn’t help comparing the other woman to herself, and coming up short. What had Matt seen in her that caused him to offer marriage? Some of it was the spark of attraction, she knew that. And he’d said he’d always wanted someone to travel with him.
She’d let him down on that front, refusing to go to Paris. It was hard letting go of what was familiar and comfortable.
Not liking her thoughts, she grabbed her jacket and headed to the apartment that had been home for the last nine years.
Sara spent the night at her old place surrounded by familiar things. As she drifted to sleep, she could almost imagine the last month had been a dream and she would wake up in the morning back to her old routine.
The next morning, she began to pack. By noon her bedroom and the living room were denuded of pictures and knickknacks and books, everything packed into some boxes she’d found.
She loaded her car with clothes and headed back to Matt’s apartment. She and Amber would have to arrange a time to go through the rest of the apartment together. Amber had left most of her things in her room when she rented her studio apartment near the university.
Sara wanted to get an apartment with a guest room so Amber and Jimmy could visit if he got posted in another location. Matt had seemed agreeable enough when she brought it up. Only shaking his head again when he looked at her, teasingly telling her he was still amazed she could be the mother of a grown child.
She’d teased him back—calling him Dad, and laughed aloud when he’d looked almost hunted.
“Never pictured myself as a father,” he’d said gruffly.
“What did you picture yourself when you were a child?” she’d asked.
“A pirate for the most part, or a marshal in an old west town. Until I discovered computers. Then I was set for life.”
When Sara arrived at the apartment, the answering machine was blinking. Matt’s strong voice came across when she pushed the button.
“Sara?” He’d waited a couple of seconds. “Are you there? I’m at my hotel.” He raddled off a string of numbers. Sara quickly found a pad and paper in her purse and wrote them down as he talked for a few minutes longer, obviously hoping she’d pick up.
Darn! She hadn’t thought about his calling when he reached Paris. He probably wondered where she was. Calculating the time difference, she realized it was after midnight in Paris, too late to call tonight.
She played the message again, delighting in hearing his voice. She wished she’d been home to talk to him.
Sara tried to reach Matt the next morning, but he had already left the hotel.
“Probably working,” she said to herself as she sipped her morning coffee. It was late afternoon in Paris. She’d try calling from work a little later.
Despite calling almost every hour, and incurring a huge phone bill on the company’s line, Sara didn’t reach Matt. By the time she reached home, she was frustrated at not connecting. Where was he? Had he been this annoyed with her when she wasn’t home yesterday? She dialed once again. She didn’t care about the time difference, she wanted to talk to him!
“’Lo,” a sleepy voice answered.
“Sorry I missed your call yesterday,” she said, feeling complete now that she heard him again. She sank into the chair and closed her eyes, imagining him next to her.
“Sara, hi. I got your messages. I tried to call earlier but someone said you were in a meeting.”
“I didn’t get that message. How are you? Sorry to wake you up.” I miss you, she thought.
“I’m glad you did. You should have come, the weather is incredible for March. Flowers are blooming all over the place and nothing’s crowded as most tourists don’t venture forth this early in the year.”
“I wish I had, too,” she said, wondering how long she could stand to be away from him. “The weather is nice here, too. In fact, they’re predicting an unusual warm spell for the next week. It seems like it’s later in the year rather than early spring.”
“I should wrap things up by Thursday and head for home then. How about I see if we can borrow Tony’s sailboat. We’ll go sailing on Saturday if the weather holds.”
“Sounds like fun.”
“Where were you when I called yesterday?” he asked.
&n
bsp; “I was at my place packing. I need to get Amber over to help go through things, but we can do that once you and I find an apartment and know when we can move.”
“Did you look at any more apartments?”
“No, it didn’t seem right without you.”
“If we go sailing on Saturday, we can spend Sunday looking.”
“Okay. I miss you, Matt.” More than she was willing to say. But she almost ached with a longing that frightened her. He had become such an integral part of her life so quickly. She wasn’t used to being so involved with anyone.
“I miss you, too, sweetheart. Next time, plan to come with me. There are so many things I wanted to show you. You’ll love Paris.”
“I want to see it all.”
“Just not until taxes are done,” he said dryly.
She smiled. Maybe he did understand. “Right. Oh, you had a friend stop by,” she said, remembering Leslie. “She was looking for a lipstick she thought she might have left here.”
He didn’t say anything right away. Sara wished she’d kept her mouth shut. But she’d started this.
“Her name was Leslie White.”
“Sorry she bothered you. I don’t think she left anything there.” His tone was distant, no longer warm and intimate.
“We didn’t find it, but I told her I’d contact her if it showed up. She said you knew how to reach her.”
“She works at a company we do business with. We dated for a while. She’s not someone to worry about,” he said.
“Umm.” She wished she didn’t feel jealous, but couldn’t help it. At least he never need know. “Have a great trip, and hurry home,” she said wanting to change the subject.
“I’ll call you tomorrow night about this time.”
“No, it’s late where you are.”
“But we can’t talk while you’re at work. And I’m not waiting till Thursday to hear your voice again. I’ll call tomorrow.”
She hung up. Dammit, she should have gone with him. Matt was nothing like her first husband. The circumstances were totally different. He wasn’t going to walk out on her. She had to believe that.
While she was wishing, she wished she hadn’t seen the pretty girl he’d once dated. Still, she couldn’t shake the nagging worry that one day he’d wake up and be horrified at what he’d done—and leave.
Thursday Sara was on tenterhooks waiting for Matt to get home. She could hardly concentrate on work. Time after time she checked her watch, trying to calculate when his plane would land. She hoped she would beat him home. She couldn’t wait!
Suddenly there was a commotion outside her office. She looked up to see her husband come striding through the doorway.
“Matt!” She pushed back from her desk.
“I told Stacey you’d be glad for the interruption,” he said, as she reached him. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her long and deep. The office faded, the work vanished, there was only Matt and the feel of him in her arms, his hard body pressed against hers, his mouth doing wonderful things with hers. His hands holding her as if he’d never let her go.
“I don’t know how many of these trips I want to take with you here and me across the world,” he said a few minutes later when he reluctantly ended the kiss. He rested his forehead against hers.
Sara clung to his shoulders, afraid her knees wouldn’t hold her. He had the power to turn her bones into mush. She couldn’t say anything to reassure him, not yet. But she’d given the situation a lot of thought over the days he’d been gone. She had decided she would give notice once the tax season ended. Feeling grateful to the firm for giving her her first job and the promotions that had moved her into her current position, she didn’t want to leave them at a critical time. But she wanted to share Matt’s life, and if that meant traveling the world, then she was all for it.
“It’s been endless. I’m so glad to see you.”
He brushed his mouth across hers.
“Can you leave now?” he asked.
“Yes. Let me get my purse.” She didn’t even tidy up her desk, but grabbed her purse and headed for the door.
“I’ll be back in the morning,” she told Stacey.
“Y’all have fun,” her assistant said with a wide grin.
“I took the bus, so I didn’t have to worry about parking. I can ride home with you,” Sara said as they descended in the elevator.
“Want to eat out tonight?” Matt asked, linking his hand with hers, lacing their fingers. “I’m all for a quick meal and then home to bed.”
“Sounds great.” She squeezed his fingers, wondering what he’d say if she suggested they skip dinner.
Matt arranged with his partner Tony to borrow his sailboat Saturday and that morning, Sara woke with a feeling of excited anticipation. She’d been looking forward to speeding across the Bay in the sleek craft since he’d first suggested the idea. She dressed warmly. Despite the sunshine and balmy temperatures for March, it would be cooler on the water.
When they reached the marina, Sara was surprised at the sleek, elegant boat. The mast towered above them. It was spacious, yet small enough for two to handle. When Matt gave her a tour, she found it had all the amenities of home.
After exploring the interior, she stepped out on the deck where Matt was studying charts. The gentle motion of the boat made her feel a little queasy, but she ignored it. This was another new adventure. She would have many to come with Matt. She wanted to explore everything that came her way.
“Aren’t we just going sailing? Isn’t the Bay deep enough for the boat, or are there channels we have to stay in?” she asked, looking over his shoulder at the charts with the squiggly lines.
He turned and pulled her close with an arm over her shoulders. “The Bay is surprisingly shallow in many spots. Not enough for the sandy bottom to poke up from the water, but enough we could drag a sandbar if we didn’t know where we’re going. I thought we’d sail to Sausalito and have lunch there. Maybe go out beneath the Golden Gate Bridge later.”
She looked across the expanse of water at the large nature preserve called Angel Island. They would get really close to that on the way to Sausalito. Maybe even see deer from the boat.
“Sounds great. What shall I do?”
Matt gave her very basic instructions and before long they cast off.
Sara had little to do once they were on the Bay and sat near Matt, enjoying the wind blowing through her hair. She still felt a bit queasy and tried to ignore the fact, but when they left the shelter of the marina, it grew rough. Tiny whitecaps topped the waves as they skimmed along, moving up and down as they headed for the Island.
Soon Sara was unable to do anything but try to concentrate on not being sick.
“Are you all right?” Matt asked, glancing at her.
“I will be,” she said, taking another deep breath of the clean air. She couldn’t be a bad sailor. This was something Matt loved. She wanted to do everything they could together. She’d get her sea legs soon, she just had to!
“You look sick.”
“Oh.” With that, she dashed to the small bathroom on the boat and lost her breakfast. Rinsing out her mouth, she held onto the small sink, looking into the mirror. She looked awful.
“Sara?”
She spun around. Matt looked in at her. “Are you seasick?”
“I think so. What are you doing here? You should be steering the boat.” Visions of them crashing into something rose.
“I dropped the sails. We’ll drift for a bit, but there’s nothing nearby. I didn’t think you’d be seasick,” he said. “I’ll see if Tony keeps any remedies around.”
“It’s my first time on a sailboat, I didn’t know I’d react this way. I’m feeling better already,” she said, embarrassed to be a problem on a day that had started out so promising.
“Want to head back?”
She shook her head, feeling miserable. “No. I’ll conquer this, let’s keep on to Sausalito. I can get something there for the return trip.”
She greeted their arrival with relief. Stepping on the dock, she took another deep breath, hoping the queasiness would fade now that she was on dry land. In only moments, she felt marginally better.
“I thought we could eat at a sushi bar near here,” Matt said after the boat was secured against the slip.
The thought of fish almost made Sara’s stomach revolt again.
“No. Not yet. I think I need to find my sea legs before I could face fish. What I think I’d like is someplace where I could get a cup of soup.”
“There are a lot of restaurants within walking distance from here. We’ll find something to suit you.”
They wandered around the small village, perusing menus, commenting on the outdoor cafes. Sara took time to look over her shoulder at the skyline of San Francisco now and then. The air felt cool blowing from the Bay, but the sun kept the temperatures comfortable. As she walked, she began to feel better. She dreaded the return trip, however.
Another disappointment. Maybe she wasn’t as ready for life on the wild side as she’d hoped. She hoped Matt wasn’t too upset. She felt as if all her plans were being extinguished one by one.
Matt took Sara’s hand and headed up Bridgeway Street. He was disappointed she didn’t take to sailing like he did. Tony rarely used his boat since his marriage. His wife’s sister was wheelchair-bound, so they didn’t go often. Tony made it available to Matt and Dex whenever they wanted it. Matt had thought about taking Sara sailing for an extended time, maybe taking a trip down to Monterey, or up to Fort Bragg.
But if she was bothered by the light chop in the Bay, she’d never survive the larger swells of the Pacific.
They passed a deli, and he stopped.
